It’s a week before the wedding, and it’s time to start packing the suitcase! That said, the weather in Vermont is about, on average, thirty degrees lower than Florida. So packing the suitcase means I need to buy new clothes to fill it!
Aaron was eager to go shopping for new clothes, and listed off a few places for us to go to for warmer items (and various haberdashery). He wanted to go to Aldo, Ray Bans, J. Crew, and H&M. He was even okay with going to Forever 21, since they recently announced bankruptcy (and I was hoping for an “EVERYTHING MUST GO” sale like what happened with Charlotte Russe).
And then, it happened. Aaron insisted we go to “Abercrombie.”
My immediate reaction:
I don’t think I had ever impersonated a turtle faster. I downright refused.
For those unfamiliar with the “Abercrombie” retailer, it’s a clothing store that specializes in gorgeous clothes for almost exclusively beautiful people. Former models in Abercrombie campaigns include Kellan Lutz, Jamie Dornan, and yes, Taylor Swift.
In middle school, the cool girls all had the Abercrombie zip-up sweatshirts, polos, and jeans. I was not a cool girl. I went inside their sister store, Hollister, once, and was given the cold shoulder. I knew I could barely fit into their largest shirts, and so did the employees. I was given looks in Abercrombie too, but I never bothered to buy anything. I stood quietly as my friends and family got smiles and pleasantries, and then went into the food court to eat too many Lotus Garden egg rolls.
Abercrombie and Fitch forever represented all my body insecurities. There was no way in hell that I was going in there.
This morning I woke up and checked Twitter and saw that today was the best day of the year: Treat. Yo. Self.
A phenomenon created by “Parks and Recreation,” Treat Yo Self is a day in which you indulge in some of the finest luxuries.
I decided to start my day off with a bagel, and actually buy clothes without worrying too much about a budget. I mean, I have student debt, so that’d be a no on a pair of $300 Gucci shades, but a mini-shopping spree at H&M could be in the cards.
Aaron and I made our way to the mall. By some twist of fate, we parked in the parking lot near the biggest department store… right next to Abercrombie.
Aaron and I walked into Abercrombie, and I went in to be supportive. Instead, he nudged me towards some sweaters.
To their credit, they were cute. I decided to indulge him to prove that I couldn’t fit into their clothes. I grabbed shirts and sweaters and headed for the dressing rooms. An employee who probably weighed ninety pounds walked through me. When I asked for a dressing room she avoided eye contact but did her job.
The energy was there. It hurt, and reminded me why I never wanted to come into that store, or any of the stores like it.
I then started trying on clothes, and I’m not sure if it was the lighting, the music (Ed Sheeran), or me, but it was the first time in a while that I felt truly confident in my clothes. I had to get new sizes for a few items, too. Even one sweater needed to be a small!
Me. Forever a size 14. Needed a small sweater in the ultimate skinny girl store.
What dimension was this?
I had two more encounters with salesgirls, and both of them couldn’t have been nicer. I kind of like the narrative that proves that Abercrombie prefers the size zeros of the world, but for all I know, the dressing room salesgirl was having a bad day. I’ve worked retail. I work tech support now. Helping people sucks sometimes, and holding a smile and being nice to everyone just isn’t possible on days like that.
I spent quite a pretty penny at Abercrombie today, and then got new jeans at H&M, and a tee shirt at Forever 21 (a good white tee shirt is always a must). I am READY for this weekend in Vermont.
We had gotten an early dinner at the food court in the mall; I had gotten a gyro and Aaron got Chipotle, which for some reason completely drained him of energy. He collapsed into bed not long after we got home.
I took the opportunity to enjoy the last bit of my Dairy Free Ben and Jerry’s (chocolate fudge brownie) and the latest season of “Insatiable”. People have taken a lot of shots at “Insatiable,” but I think it’s the dark horse of streaming TV. It’s also the first time I’ve felt like my own issues with body image have been put into words (other shows have tackled the subject well, but I feel like “Insatiable” has been the closest narrative to depict MY personal experience. It’s been helpful).
Between my bagel, my gyro, my ice cream, and my show, I kind of came to an idea for my own eating habits: eat healthy every chance I get, and pick the plant-based option whenever possible. That said, ice cream once a week won’t kill me. Neither will a bagel with cream cheese one day, and one meal where I can enjoy anything I want: pizza, a burger, or yes, a vegan calzone (they exist, and they can be amazing). Food isn’t something I can just quit, nor do I want to think of food as something I can’t enjoy. That said, I think modern American (or even just internet) culture has fetishized food, and “eating” shouldn’t be a personality trait for me. I realize now that I do talk about food a lot. I obsess over it! I think it’s time for a new obsession.
Good clothes. Good food. A little me time. An epiphany, even. I’m getting married in six days, but this totally joins in the running for “The Best Day of the Year.”
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