I read four books this month! I am grateful for the extra day of this month; while it is technically one-2 days shorter than the average month, it is a Leap Year! Leap Day William gave me an extra day to finish the last book of the month before he vanishes back into the ocean for another four years.
I think that my reading strategy might need a reboot; I feel like I didn’t enjoy the last book of the month as much because I was so focused on finishing it today. Nevertheless, I DID finish it today, but I think that I should make more of an effort to read daily and finish each book at a more leisurely pace.
1. The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. This was one of the books frequently mentioned by the zen social media influencers I follow (the ones who seem to live their lives by waking up to a beautiful coastal sunrise, doing yoga, eating a smoothie bowl, reading and exploring their coast of choice, then having a vegan potluck, repeat for eternity with bits of poetry thrown in for good measure). I like poetry, so I figured I’d give this book a read! It’s a series of prose poetry fables in which the prophet Al Mustafa has lived in the city of Orphalese for a dozen years, and when a ship finally arrives to take him on his way, the townspeople ask for his wisdom on all parts of life. He delivers them and thanks them for what they have taught him. He provides straightforward answers on the big questions: how to live, how to love, what is evil, what is good. I thought a lot of the ideals professed by the eponymous prophet were beautiful yet simple, but felt one passage was a bit like victim-blaming: “Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.” I guess it depends on where this is applied. You can complain your day away or you can go out there and continue to be your best despite when the world wants to cut you down and make you feel small.
A few significant quotes I liked:
“And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.”
“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
“And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.”
2. No Lifeguard on Duty: The Accidental Life of the World’s First Supermodel by Janice Dickinson. I fell down a rabbit hole of “America’s Next Top Model” reruns, in which Janice Dickinson was a frequent judge. Brutally honest for better or worse, Janice was offered the opportunity to judge by Tyra Banks after Tyra read this book. Janice was indeed one of the first models to really conquer the world with her beauty, though her story is not one of infinite glitz and glamour. She came from a broken family and endured a series of failing relationships and alcoholism. Her beauty was not immediately recognized in her time, as the world was enjoying the trend of skinny American blondes. Her tenacity was eventually rewarded and soon she became, in her words, the world’s first supermodel (though this is debated, as others before her time had been given the term “supermodel” even if not famously). Her story is funny, if a bit sad. She reminds me of Rose McGowan and Leah Remini (both of whom wrote memoirs I’ve read in the past two years). Beauty abounds, but what’s truly arresting is their fierce strength.
Quotes I liked:
“The funny thing is, most people don’t even know what makes them happy. I mean, seriously. Think about it. Ask yourself what makes you happy. Friendship? Good sex? A hot car? Health? Money? Freedom? And when something makes you happy, does it really make you happy for any length of time?”
“Being upset never did shit for anyone. Being angry, on the other hand—that could work wonders. If you used it right.”
“I don’t need another person to complete me, amigo. I need to complete myself. And I don’t need another person to make me happy; I need to make myself happy.”
3. Open Book by Jessica Simpson. A new release from a woman I consider to be a game-changer, Jessica Simpson was the first celebrity whose career I really watched almost from the beginning. She was introduced as a sort of antithesis to the sexy images that Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears had begun to cultivate in the late nineties (as she details in the book, Jessica was part of the group to audition for “The Mickey Mouse Club” and promptly choked after having to follow Christina’s audition). What started as touring the Bible Belt with gospel sets turned into a full-fledged pop music career and one of the first ever reality show series with “Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica”. Despite her vocal talents and on-camera ease (she was very much in on the dumb-blonde jokes at her expense, whether we knew it or not), it became clear that all anyone cared about was her looks. From her “Dukes of Hazzard” body to an unfortunate spiral from a bad-angle viral photo of her in “Mom jeans,” Jessica experienced vitriol from EVERYONE. Between her relationships with various men and relationships with her own self image, Jessica has been to the brink of the abyss and back, coming out stronger and more at peace with herself now than ever. I laughed and cried listening to her tell her stories. She had an unfortunate homophobic rumor spread about her when she was younger, and while I think her experience was much worse than mine, something similar had happened to me. I wished I could’ve pulled 11 year old Jessica Simpson and 11 year old me into a group hug. She inspires me that even on your worst days, if you keep pushing through it, what you’ll get in the long run will be worth it’s weight in gold (for Jessica, literally: she had to pay crazy alimony to her ex-husband, but made it all back, in her words, “give or take a billion”).
This was my month’s “Audible” contribution, but this time I had the forethought to quickly scribble random notes indicating lines I liked while driving. Funnily enough, the ones I saved were all lines from other people that inspired her!
“The best competition is always our own selves.” –Celine Dion
“I know it is hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It’s all a part of the process of exploration and discovery. It’s all part of taking a chance and expanding man’s horizons. The future doesn’t belong to the faint-hearted, it belongs to the brave.” — US President Ronald Reagan, when addressing the nation after the Challenger explosion
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell
4. I’m Fine… And Other Lies by Whitney Cummings. I don’t know how it happened, but one of Whitney Cummings’ stand-up bits popped up in my “autoplay” on Youtube. I found myself laughing and realizing “Oh, this is the woman everyone has been telling me about forever!” I feel like my friends, podcasts, and every other mass media source told me “WATCH THIS GIRL. SHE IS FUNNY.” Her book had come up in my Amazon recommends, and I figured that was enough of a sign from the universe! Her book is full of stories, ranging from horrifying doctors visits to dating pro-tips. As the book went on, I realized that she ended almost every chapter with some way of phrasing (and including the phrase) “I’m fine.” She’s not fine. I think she’s been through a lot, from toxic relationships with her family, boyfriends, and herself. It made me appreciate the fact that I met Aaron so soon. I didn’t have to deal with literal psychopaths for boyfriends. Either that or Aaron is a very convincing psychopath. But where would HE be hiding a drug problem or a second family? If it ever happens, I’ll return here with an explanation for such a wildly convincing bamboozle. Whitney does admit that she knows that she isn’t fine, but that that’s okay. She’ll get there. I think that’s what we’re all doing, consciously or not: we’re not okay, but for the most part, a lot of us try to get there.
Quotes I liked:
“Alcoholism doesn’t just apply to cartoon bums pounding bourbon from brown paper bags, it can be used to describe overusing anything to anesthetize discomfort: eating, drinking, fighting, cheating, gambling, worrying, shopping, or in my case, controlling. And by controlling, I mean micromanaging circumstances so everyone is comfortable so there’s no conflict. Why? So I can feel safe, ya silly goose. This behavior kept me safe as a child, but made me annoying as an adult.”
“Turns out jokes are like knives. You can use them to cook a beautiful meal or to straight-up stab people.”
“Protecting people from the aftermath of their choices isn’t thoughtful or benevolent; it just takes away their ability to grow.”
I think this month I want to make my reads almost entirely based on health and wellness, so I can keep my eyes on the prize vis-à-vis my promise to commit to certain resolutions this month. That said, I downloaded a rather famous memoir about a writer from the nineties who struggled with substance abuse… so maybe if I consider it as a what NOT to do, that will count? I kind of want a theme for each month of reading now. Aaron thinks that one of the “themes” should be fiction, since I tend to read memoirs and self-care stories and rarely dabble in fiction. I have TV for that, though!
For now, it’s thirty minutes until the new month. I will be 1/6 of the way through the year. To quote “The Prophet,”
“Ready am I to go, and my eagerness with sails full set awaits the wind.”