You know that movie “X-Men: Days of Future Past?” That’s what this post is about, except it’s books, not days. I’ve never seen an X-Men movie.
In 2020, I set out to read 52 books, averaging out at about 1 book a week. I had fluctuating months of success and then failure months of catching up, all in all finishing thirty books total. Today, I’ll be reflecting on the final reads of the year, as well as what comes next for my monthly reads for 2021! Let’s take a look at the reads for December:
1) But What I Really Want to Do is Direct: Lessons from a Life Behind the Camera by Ken Kwapis. I found out about this book when Ken Kwapis was interviewed on “Office Ladies,” my favorite podcast! It’s part film analysis, part memoir from Ken Kwapis, a director of various kids shows, romcoms, and yes, episodes of The Office. Within the context of hearing about the book from a podcast about The Office, I thought it was going to be a book fully about the making of The Office with a few random anecdotes thrown in for good measure. That was not the case! The book dedicates about two chapters, give or take, to the NBC masterpiece. Kwapis has had a very full life in the cinema universe! He’s quite dialed in to what makes a movie special, and how to create something he may not fully understand himself! Interestingly enough, he directed “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” and the two scenes he discussed in depth in the book were two of the scenes from that movie that I remember most.
Obviously, his notes on The Office were a highlight, but what I hadn’t realized was that he was the director behind a certain Sesame Street film called “Follow that Bird,” which I think I remember seeing. I don’t know if I saw it, though, because a) it was before I was born (but that doesn’t really matter with kids movies, does it? I was born long after “Peter Pan” and that’s one of my favorite movies!) and b) it’s possible I repressed the memory of seeing it because apparently a part of the plot famously traumatized kids. I’ll link it here, but I’m not watching it. I had to remember the donkey scene from “Pinocchio” a few months ago, and I wish I hadn’t.
For someone who loves movies, both watching them and learning about them, hearing a hands on perspective from someone who’s been in the business for so long was a true delight. It’s clear that the actors and writers that work with him are grateful for the experience! Here’s a few fun notes from the book:
“Personally, panic is not my partner. For me, trusting the process means knowing when to get out of your own way, and it’s a skill I try to refine from job to job.”
“To this day, I begin each take with an offhanded “Go ahead.” Taking my lead from Garry, I feel it makes each take less precious and sacrosanct; in some small, ineffable way, “Go ahead” blurs the line between the scene and real life.”
“The adventure of looking for an answer is ultimately more important than any answer you might find.”
2) I Would Leave Me if I Could by Ashley Frangipane. Does that name sound familiar? It might, if you’re a fan, but if you don’t know for sure, you might know her by her alias: Halsey. Halsey jumped to prominence in the early 2010s, and immediately began using her name recognition to further charity causes close to her heart. Her speech at the 2018 Women’s March went viral for being less of a speech and more of a slam poem describing the trauma she and countless others (close to her and at large) faced at the hands of cruel men in power. Two years later, she released a collection of poems titled “I Would Leave Me if I Could.”
Halsey discusses her sexuality, her childhood, and all the trauma in between that comes with mental illness and drug abuse. It’s a hard read, even in her voice (yes, this was an Audible must). I listened and felt anger towards the people in her life who let her down, forgiving those who couldn’t help it and hating those who never apologized. I’m so thankful that my life didn’t have half of the things she lived through before she was 16. Halsey and I are the same age and while I was bemoaning that I had gained the freshman fifteen, she was struggling to eat while staying in and out of homeless shelters.
Halsey is a musician for a reason, and her words are powerful. I liked all of the poems, but my favorites were “Homemaker,” “I Am Angry Because of My Father,” and “The Breakup.” Here’s a link to another favorite, “I Wish You the Best.”
3) Balancing in Heels: My Journey to Health, Happiness, and Making it All Work by Kristin Cavallari. To say that I love “The Hills” would be an understatement. Heck, I dedicated an entire blog post to it last year! After Lauren Conrad’s iconic departure from the show, the “Laguna Beach” mean girl joined the cast. On “Laguna Beach,” Kristin Cavallari was the pretty and downright catty girl who came between sweet LC and Stephen Colletti. Well… we know that’s not quite true. It was high school! As Kristin details, at that point in her life, she didn’t fully realize what she signed up for, and quickly realized she became the villain for simply being a teenager… on camera… in front of millions. That said, she maintains that she and Stephen had a sweet relationship that ran its course (spoiler alert, high school sweethearts aren’t always forever), and they both moved on to bigger and better things.
Kristin, or as I (and many others) like to call her, K-Cav, took this random bout of good fortune in the form of an MTV series and turned it into a whole career, spanning over ten years of acting, modeling, and fashion design. Her memoir details how she went from Colorado, to LA, to Chicago, to Nashville, taking on a different challenge each time. Today, she owns a jewelry brand, is a published author of multiple cookbooks, and a proud mother of three! At the time of this book’s publishing, she was married to footballer Jay Cutler, but they announced their separation during quarantine last year. While some celebrity breakups have gotten kind of ugly in quarantine, Jay and Kristin seem to be putting their children first and keeping quiet otherwise. AS THEY SHOULD.
I don’t think you need to pick sides, pick a favorite, between K-Cav and LC. What is this, high school? I happen to think both women are accomplished, successful, and smart. You can’t get there without planning and a strong work ethic. On a more superficial level, both women always look put together and classic. I like both their style choices! They are the kind of modern woman I want to be. Here’s a few of Cavallari’s best lines:
“You cannot please everyone, no matter what you do. So I’ve stopped trying to please everyone and stopped living my life for other people. You have to do what makes you happy.”
“I believe being happy and healthy are the first steps—your glow and your natural beauty will shine through.”
“To fight for your dreams—and have them materialize—is the best feeling in the world.”
4) Sweetdark by Savannah Brown. I first discovered Savannah when she published a slam poem in response to an abhorrent Youtube video titled “What Guys Look for in Girls.” It was made by three teenage boys, in 2013, so you can imagine the sort of things they said (if you can’t, just know they weren’t good. They deleted the video and apologized not long after it was posted). She is several years younger than I am, and not long after this poem went viral, she graduated high school and went to university in London. She dropped out before graduating to focus on her writing career. She self-published her first collection of poems, “Graffiti (and Other Poems),” in 2016, along with her first novel, “The Truth About Keeping Secrets,” in 2019. I read and enjoyed both books! I kind of hope “The Truth About Keeping Secrets” gets a sequel… or a movie? Both?
“Sweetdark” is Savannah’s second collection of poetry, and when I heard about it I preordered it almost immediately. This collection is deeply inspired by coming of age in London, as well as the anxiety that comes with being a wunderkind. She handles her privileges in an interesting way. She clearly feels pressure to succeed, to keep growing as a writer and keep writing and publishing content, having started and been so successful before even being an undergrad. In several of her poems (not just in “Sweetdark”) she laments being lanky and too skinny. It’s a weird thing to bemoan, between her experiences with e***ng d***rders as well as the acknowledgment that, occasionally with an e***ng d***rder, most people would die to have such a problem.
Still, that’s kind of my one complaint about her writing! She references being so focused on the future that she doesn’t always appreciate the present. She beautifully expresses gratitude for her longtime boyfriend for putting up with her quirks, and even loving them when she doesn’t. She talks about space and time like she doesn’t have a clue, and that’s mostly the point! I’m excited for her next work, whether it’s more poetry or a second novel. She’s the one who hosts Escapril every year, so who knows what is next for her? For me, I hope it’s a break! Here are a few of my favorite lines from “Sweetdark”:
“i’ll let this life spread me out like a sky.”
“i had no plans, but i spent the night wrapped in piano keys and cobbles with mainly strangers and to my rigid home-body, this feels like progress.”
“i don’t know why i show only the people i love my ugliest self.”
So… what do we do now? I can officially say I read 35 books last year! That’s more than I thought I did a week ago, so I’m high fiving a million angels over here! I kept a reading list for 2020, and through me adding new releases and changing my schedule, I have twenty one books left on that list to read. I’m including this list below to give an idea of what’s on my docket for 2021. I’ll be picking up where I left off with certain books, and starting from page one with others! Have a look:
- The Stranger Beside Me
- Small Sacrifices
- Wasted
- The Chiffon Trenches
- Marilyn
- Code Red
- Rebecca
- Where are you going, where have you been
- Interview with the Vampire (I started this one before Christmas!)
- Save the Cat
- On Writing
- Reaper Man
- Home Body
- The Sophia Code
- Dark Disciple
- My Own Words
- In Praise of Difficult Women
- You Play the Girl (I started this one early in 2020)
- The Brand Gap
- Top of the Rock
- A Raisin in the Sun
I want to finish Interview with the Vampire first, and then read Home Body. I also want to dive into Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, because it got a Netflix adaptation that I want to watch. Speaking of which, I dove into a different resolution last night: I started “The Haunting of Hill House” and it’s GOOD. It’s different than the novel, but in a really cool way. It’s so cool that I really must be going!