I believe that love can save the world.
I think 2020 is proof that we have become toxic. Everything is either an attack or feels like one. We’re being told now, more so than ever, that our lives don’t matter. Thousands dead from a new disease are politicized. Systemic oppression is considered a series of outliers more than a pattern of disrespect. Doctors and teachers are being put at risk daily, and worked to the bone, and are villainized for it. Even the positive spaces that are supposed to be utilized for celebrating who we are have become a cesspool of exclusivity.
The question remains: where do we go from here? Do we see this as a tipping point to sink further into an abyss? Or do we hype ourselves up, shake ourselves loose, and muster up the strength we have to claw back up to a better place?
Tonight, I decided to turn on the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show from 2018. It was the last show, for now, as they move to reinvigorate their brand after declining sales, low viewership, and at the forefront, the lack of diversity in their models and the messaging that sends. While watching, I fell down a brief rabbit hole about Victoria’s Secret on Google, and I stumbled onto this article. The article details that the models of the brand have gotten smaller (a valid observation: compare OG Angel Tyra Banks in her “peak” as a VS Angel and current VS Angel Romee Strijd), and that is just scratching the surface. True, there have been more diverse models added to the roster, and they’ve recently added some more “average” sized women, but it feels more like tokenism in response to criticism rather than a true shift in mindset.
The article provides commentary from Jean Fain, a Harvard-affiliated psychologist who finds that this addition has just polarized the idea of “plus size” vs. the “forever dieters.” The standards being set by the latter are unattainable, but for her, that’s not the point: the industry won’t change by establishing and shooting to meet those impossible parameters, but rather that we will see change when we begin to embrace compassion and love, for ourselves and for others.
That, to me, is the answer. Love is the only way up from here. We have to show empathy for everyone around us. It does start with treating ourselves right. I personally find that on the days that I’m my most catty (to be fair, my cattiness is resigned to my mind but the toxic thoughts are worse than positive or no thoughts) are the days where I feel the ugliest. Conversely, on the days I look my best I’m often filled with positive thoughts and I smile at people on the street. It truly comes from within and that’s where we have to start.
It reminds me of the line from the iconic, cinematic masterpiece, Mean Girls:
Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier, calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter, and ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier, all you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.
The problem in front of me right now is how I feel about myself. I can start with me, and give the love the love that I should give to myself to everyone around me from there. Can you imagine what this world could be if we all did that?