It is December 28, 2019. In four days, we’ll be in a new year, and a new decade. There’s so much to reflect upon, so much to consider from the past year, past ten years, but all I can think about is how awful I feel.
I’ve had chest pains all week. My stomach has been feeling nauseous for the entire day, and I’ve had a headache for three days.
Maybe it’s from all the holiday food. Maybe it’s from not drinking enough water. Maybe it’s because I’m approaching my “moon cycle.” All three?
No. I have a more likely idea.
I went to the gym and did the most hardcore workout I’ve done in a while yesterday. So imagine waking up with a stomach ache, a headache, and then rolling to the bathroom and realizing that your legs are like cemented to the ground out of soreness. That’s what I get for doing weighted squats for the first time in a year.
Not a great day, but just as well, because the new season of YOU came out on Netflix on Thursday, and I had to wait until last night to start it. Ten episodes later and I am so eager for season three, as eager as I was for season two earlier this year! I am blessed to have gotten two seasons in one year, but that probably means I will have to wait until this time next year to get another season. Who knows where I’ll be at that point.
In the past month and a half, I’ve been kind of in a funk. I think that’s why I haven’t written at all. I don’t know why I’ve got such a case of the blues. Christmas was fun, and being home with Aaron has been great, but I just feel kind of chaotic mentally. I’m hoping that January will be calmer and more fun.
That said, I’ve been listening to more podcasts lately, top of the list being “Him and Her: The Skinny Confidential Podcast.” Amy Landino, my success champion, was on a recent episode talking about time batching! I want to make writing more of a priority in the new year, and with that in mind, I’m going to make sure I set aside time each week to prep posts and generate ideas so I can share two posts a week.
Today has felt like an eternity. It’s a jolt of hope knowing that my brain can’t handle a day of doing nothing! I hope that tomorrow morning I wake up all better and go to the gym again. Except… maybe hold off on the weighted squats. Or at least do less of them. Fingers crossed!
I’ve been wanting to sit and think about my aesthetic, my brand, what makes me ME. I feel like as an adult I’m still waiting to shed my teenage inner-angst and embrace a more mature aesthetic.
Don’t get it twisted, Disney still owns my heart, and I’ll always want my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches refrigerated because it just tastes better that way, but my tendency to wear all black everything and spend my free time binge-watching Netflix feels very dated. I’m ready to embrace the part of me that wants to come forward and succeed.
When I walked into work today, I had a goal: start work on refining my “aesthetic.” I feel like that’s step one. I think there’s scientific evidence that your environment is your influence. I want to find ways for my aesthetic to help influence my every day life. I want to look at this blog, my closet, my home, and be motivated to take on each day with strength, style, and a smile.
Wait I like that line: Take on the day with strength, style, and a smile. AESTHETIC!
Whether I’m 5 or 25, “Spongebob Squarepants” will always be relevant.
Some things I’ve determined I like are pastels, space, and retro imagery. I feel like my generation is really vibing on pastels right now (neon pinks, greens, and yellows really dominated the fashion zeitgeist from 2007-2015). Soft pinks, aquas, and sunflower yellow seem to be popular colors, and I think the preference of lilac is growing.
I however, am focusing on pink and light blue (my inner emo child just gasped). I went to Pinterest and just searched “Light pink aesthetic.” The jackpot, if you will. I already had an “Aesthetic” Pinterest board created previously, so I just started pinning! I liked a few pink neon signs (which I have always loved), including one on the facade of an old building. I decided to switch gears and go look for “Art deco” aesthetics. I’ve always loved Old Hollywood and roaring 20s aesthetics, like in “The Great Gatsby.” My mind started accelerating, as I thought to myself that the art deco imagery was too dark:
I want to find an art deco design that’s more light, like with pink, maybe. Could Aaron make that? Why can’t *I* make that? I want to combine my love for modern colors with my appreciation for the retro aesthetic… vintage… Thoroughly Modern Vintage!
I am certain I am not the pioneer for a combination of the modern and the “classic” (I say classic loosely, since the past 100 years can hardly be historically defined as classic. Maybe neo-classic, but I think even that’s a stretch), but I think I can create a concrete vision of what that looks like. My artistic eye is lacking at best, but no reason I can’t try!
The clouds of the honeymoon are slowly falling away and making room for the clear skies of cooler weather.
I have just returned from a two-week honeymoon in Europe, where I had the best possible vacation a newlywed could want. Champagne. Pistachio Gelato. Empty streets that open up into crowded plazas. Fresh pasta overlooking the Ionian Sea. Nights lit up by the casinos and luxury hotels of Monaco. It was amazing.
All of that only makes my return back to normalcy all the more humbling. We had a ten hour flight from Amsterdam (we flew there from Venice) to Orlando, during which we experienced constant turbulence and a light that I didn’t know how to turn off for the majority of the time in the air. By the time we landed I was overwhelmed with nausea and a splitting headache. I pride myself on the fact that I kept my cool in the Uber home, and waited until I got upstairs to vomit everything I had consumed during the in-flight meal.
Aaron wasn’t doing much better either. When packing the night before, he stubbed his toe on the wheel of his suitcase, and had been experiencing knee pain the whole trip. On top of that, he was coming down with a cold! Come Monday morning, we were two weak and physically frail young adults who had to throw on the coffee and go back to work.
Aaron had a pleasant comeback to work, providing a high quality report to his supervisors despite knowing he was ill. While my coworkers were all happy to see me (they are truly the best part about my job), I spent the first three days back at work dealing with cranky people making request after request during a time when everything is shutting down for the winter. Things were so quiet when I left for my honeymoon. Why couldn’t it have stayed that way one more week?
My trip really made me reflect on my life where it is now, and where I want it to be. You know how they say the little things make a big difference? That applies in all aspects of life, but it felt doubly so in the hotels we stayed at during the trip:
The Majestic Palace was located ten minutes from Las Ramblas in Barcelona. We had a private terrace, a shower with an overhead nozzle, and a bidet. A BIDET. Aaron and I decided to take a power nap before heading out into the city, and it was awakened an hour later by a staff member bringing us a “Congratulations and welcome” slice of cake! Cake!
The Londra Palace was a six minute walk from San Marco Square in Venice. Turndown service! ANOTHER bidet! Top it all off, there was a bathtub with an ADDITIONAL NOZZLE. An IDEAL situation for taking a bath and getting an effective hair wash out of the deal.
Both hotels had baggage handlers, a piano bar, and the most incredible “breakfast is included” experience.
Top it all off with the fact that we were on a cruise in between those hotels, where the majority of the other passengers were all retirees who had the means and the time to just go wherever they want.
The more I paid attention to the little things that prove the extra mile, the the things that make the nice parts even nicer, I kept thinking to myself: my life has got to be like this. Forever.
I’ve learned a lot at this job, from a creative perspective. I’ve increased my endurance for problem solving, and I’m willing to go the extra mile to get something done quicker. When I started, I was scared of talking to people on the phone. Nearly two years later, I do this every day at work, but I don’t like it. Why should I do something I don’t like every day? With the life I want and the bills I still have, now is the time for me to really forge ahead and get a more substantial position within NBC.
It helps that I have a one-on-one meeting with my supervisor in a week, with a year-end self-evaluation due a week after that. I told myself I was going to wait until after the craziness of the wedding and the honeymoon was done. Thank-you notes aside, that time has come. I’m ready to go… all the way up to the top!
I feel like I have two back-to-back happy entries in my pocket. I guess being married will do that to you.
That’s right folks, I’m a newlywed! Aaron and I tied the knot this past weekend in Vermont. Our magical start to Happily Ever After will get its own post later. I would rather write today about today. Today!
All good todays can be traced back to yesterday, so let’s start there.
I was scrolling through Facebook when I passed through the “Your Own Magic” Facebook group, which is a fan community for the “Your Own Magic” podcast. Someone had posted a request for guidance on making a vision board. Someone had replied to make it their “Home” screen on their phone, so they can always see it.
I had time to kill and I had been itching to make my own vision board, and I had always pictured it as a 3rd grade science project with the three angled-cardboard display covered in colorful words and glitter. Lots of glitter.
Putting it on my phone had always felt like a “magnet” option, where I had tossed it around but never considered it. Now that I had a desire to work on my Photoshop skills, I could see about creating one using phone dimensions.
So commenced about two hours of work. I knew what I wanted to see every time I looked at my phone, what I wanted to motivate me through my day. I want Miranda Priestly’s Boss Life (maybe without the workaholism, more like the authority, style, and respect), and Jack Donaghy’s office and job title (he later gives it to Kenneth as “President of Television.” Can that be my exact job title, please?). I want to make sure I always remember that with hard work (and, ahem, therefore maybe less mindless scrolling), I will have money, maybe even Jeffree Star money. With that money, I can travel and live in the NYC home of my dreams (I’m talking in-building gym, laundry service, and outdoor garden, with floor-to-ceiling windows and a showroom-style closet). With that money, I can go to London, Bali, Australia, and anywhere else I want to visit.
On top of fruitful dreams, I want to be healthy and strong, both emotionally and physically. I know if I accomplish all of this, I will be happy. If I’m happy, Aaron will be, too. Vice versa!
Boom. Visions for the future, established.
If I haven’t outright stated it, I love the sky in the morning, when it’s dark night giving way to light blue, with the brightness of the sun bringing in a bit of pink. That was a style inspiration, as was Taylor Swift’s 1989 album art.
Several hours later, my phone vision board:
Aaron says it looks like a Myspace background. If that’s a teasing insult I don’t care because I like it.
Creating that felt like an accomplishment! I rewarded myself with Youtube and went to bed with a smile on my face.
I want to take a different approach to my way of thinking. I’ve always dealt with things with a sense of urgency, and sometimes I feel my brain is moving at a million miles a minute. I think slowing down and taking things one step at a time would do wonders for my own sense of serenity.
This morning, I woke up at 7 AM and contemplated doing some sort of a workout. I ended up going for a twenty minute walk around my neighborhood. I don’t know what higher power decided to make that the best decision ever, but the sky was beautiful and there was a cool wind. I passed commuters starting their day, joggers on the run, and a few happy souls with their dogs on a stroll. I listened to happy music that put me in a good state of mind.
Work was quiet this morning so I took care of a few necessary phone calls, and then made myself a cup of vegan hot chocolate! I served it in one of my UVM mugs, because I’m already having Vermont withdrawals. It was low calorie and super sweet.
I’m thinking I’ll head over to the healthy food cafe for lunch in an hour or two to get an acai bowl or a hummus wrap. It depends on whether it’s cooled down or warmed up since I went outside this morning!
I had a very happy morning. My brain feels at peace. I want to snuggle the world.
I’ll be back for a full wedding recap. Until then, here’s the tune that set my morning mood.
It’s a week before the wedding, and it’s time to start packing the suitcase! That said, the weather in Vermont is about, on average, thirty degrees lower than Florida. So packing the suitcase means I need to buy new clothes to fill it!
Aaron was eager to go shopping for new clothes, and listed off a few places for us to go to for warmer items (and various haberdashery). He wanted to go to Aldo, Ray Bans, J. Crew, and H&M. He was even okay with going to Forever 21, since they recently announced bankruptcy (and I was hoping for an “EVERYTHING MUST GO” sale like what happened with Charlotte Russe).
And then, it happened. Aaron insisted we go to “Abercrombie.”
My immediate reaction:
I don’t think I had ever impersonated a turtle faster. I downright refused.
For those unfamiliar with the “Abercrombie” retailer, it’s a clothing store that specializes in gorgeous clothes for almost exclusively beautiful people. Former models in Abercrombie campaigns include Kellan Lutz, Jamie Dornan, and yes, Taylor Swift.
In middle school, the cool girls all had the Abercrombie zip-up sweatshirts, polos, and jeans. I was not a cool girl. I went inside their sister store, Hollister, once, and was given the cold shoulder. I knew I could barely fit into their largest shirts, and so did the employees. I was given looks in Abercrombie too, but I never bothered to buy anything. I stood quietly as my friends and family got smiles and pleasantries, and then went into the food court to eat too many Lotus Garden egg rolls.
Abercrombie and Fitch forever represented all my body insecurities. There was no way in hell that I was going in there.
This morning I woke up and checked Twitter and saw that today was the best day of the year: Treat. Yo. Self.
A phenomenon created by “Parks and Recreation,” Treat Yo Self is a day in which you indulge in some of the finest luxuries.
I decided to start my day off with a bagel, and actually buy clothes without worrying too much about a budget. I mean, I have student debt, so that’d be a no on a pair of $300 Gucci shades, but a mini-shopping spree at H&M could be in the cards.
Aaron and I made our way to the mall. By some twist of fate, we parked in the parking lot near the biggest department store… right next to Abercrombie.
Aaron and I walked into Abercrombie, and I went in to be supportive. Instead, he nudged me towards some sweaters.
To their credit, they were cute. I decided to indulge him to prove that I couldn’t fit into their clothes. I grabbed shirts and sweaters and headed for the dressing rooms. An employee who probably weighed ninety pounds walked through me. When I asked for a dressing room she avoided eye contact but did her job.
The energy was there. It hurt, and reminded me why I never wanted to come into that store, or any of the stores like it.
I then started trying on clothes, and I’m not sure if it was the lighting, the music (Ed Sheeran), or me, but it was the first time in a while that I felt truly confident in my clothes. I had to get new sizes for a few items, too. Even one sweater needed to be a small!
Me. Forever a size 14. Needed a small sweater in the ultimate skinny girl store.
What dimension was this?
I had two more encounters with salesgirls, and both of them couldn’t have been nicer. I kind of like the narrative that proves that Abercrombie prefers the size zeros of the world, but for all I know, the dressing room salesgirl was having a bad day. I’ve worked retail. I work tech support now. Helping people sucks sometimes, and holding a smile and being nice to everyone just isn’t possible on days like that.
I spent quite a pretty penny at Abercrombie today, and then got new jeans at H&M, and a tee shirt at Forever 21 (a good white tee shirt is always a must). I am READY for this weekend in Vermont.
We had gotten an early dinner at the food court in the mall; I had gotten a gyro and Aaron got Chipotle, which for some reason completely drained him of energy. He collapsed into bed not long after we got home.
I took the opportunity to enjoy the last bit of my Dairy Free Ben and Jerry’s (chocolate fudge brownie) and the latest season of “Insatiable”. People have taken a lot of shots at “Insatiable,” but I think it’s the dark horse of streaming TV. It’s also the first time I’ve felt like my own issues with body image have been put into words (other shows have tackled the subject well, but I feel like “Insatiable” has been the closest narrative to depict MY personal experience. It’s been helpful).
Between my bagel, my gyro, my ice cream, and my show, I kind of came to an idea for my own eating habits: eat healthy every chance I get, and pick the plant-based option whenever possible. That said, ice cream once a week won’t kill me. Neither will a bagel with cream cheese one day, and one meal where I can enjoy anything I want: pizza, a burger, or yes, a vegan calzone (they exist, and they can be amazing). Food isn’t something I can just quit, nor do I want to think of food as something I can’t enjoy. That said, I think modern American (or even just internet) culture has fetishized food, and “eating” shouldn’t be a personality trait for me. I realize now that I do talk about food a lot. I obsess over it! I think it’s time for a new obsession.
Good clothes. Good food. A little me time. An epiphany, even. I’m getting married in six days, but this totally joins in the running for “The Best Day of the Year.”
A week from tomorrow, Aaron and I fly out to Vermont for our wedding. Commence me freaking out over things that I cannot control.
Let me be clear: I am not freaked out about marrying Aaron. I’m most sure of him! That said, I feel this moment from “How I Met Your Mother” (season 4, episode 5, “Shelter Island”) best encapsulates how I feel:
Lily: You wait for the next crisis, you solve it, you’re a hero.
Ted: Yeah, but what if there’s no next crisis?
Lily: She’s a bride. There will BE a next crisis
–CUTAWAY CAPTIONED “LIKE FOUR MINUTES LATER” —
Ted: There’s a next crisis!
In the past week there’s been confusion over vows, hiring a videographer at the last second, a missed line in the contract for the DJ indicating we never ordered a photo booth, and tonight I’m worried there won’t be enough time for everyone to dance long enough!
I blame the sun for setting so early but also not early enough for us to get this ceremony done by 5.
BOTH my parents have told me that feeling stressed is normal at this time, but also silly. This day shouldn’t be about pleasing everyone, it should be about Aaron and I celebrating our love for each other. Everything else is just extra. But come on, everyone’s flying to Vermont for the whole weekend! I want it to be a night everyone remembers as being good and fun.
Whoosh. My brain feels wired. I wish I could just focus on the honeymoon and Aaron and not “what if there isn’t enough ABBA?” I should know by now THERE WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH ABBA.
My writing hasn’t been on this blog, but I’ve been doing free verse poetry when inspiration hits, so I haven’t completely neglected writing. I’m ready to be consistent, even though I’ve said that a million times a million months ago. The timing feels right, though, to start now.
Tomorrow is Erev Yom Kippur. Most Jewish holidays start the night before, at sunset. I’ve noticed that I always think of sunsets as beginnings more often than endings, and I wonder if my Jewish upbringing has anything to do with that!
Yom Kippur is a time of renewal, purification, and detox. We fast to break from our daily routine and reflect on the past year, on our mistakes and our failures, our successes and triumphs. Typically, I abstain from work and school to take a day to pray. In the past I’ve slept after services, but it’s felt more like a distraction from hunger than restful. This year, I’m not spending the day in a service, since I’m basically taking a month off of work starting next week between my wedding and the honeymoon.
With that in mind, I’m starting the reflection part now.
I think I’ve said this in my blog somewhere, but Aaron was not a part of my plan. Personally, I think that our paths are predetermined, and that while I may have had a plan in my head, I didn’t have much control over the execution of it. I don’t want to go all woo-woo mystic, but I’ll say this: the life I thought I would lead diverged the day I fell in love with him.
Sometimes, when we disagree (I say disagree, because he’s never legitimately gotten angry with me. Ever.), I think about what I would do if he vanished from my life (as in, packed his bags and we went our separate ways). On a silly note, I imagine going out and dancing all night, binging pizza in my underwear, and singing the typical break-up songs in a karaoke bar.
More realistically, I think about those silly moments as lasting a week, maybe, then carrying on with a bruised heart but clearer eyes on the goals I had before we met. Grateful for the memories, but ready to make new ones. I realize now that’s not the best way to think of my ambitions. I haven’t abandoned them for love; I chose Aaron because I thought he would be the ideal person to have at my side as I chased them down, and I’d be the ideal person to be at his side for his ambitions. I still think of us that way. In fact, I’m closer to my dreams now with his support.
I don’t see why my initial plan has to change because he’s a part of my life. It was silly for me to think that the steps in my journey would have to change because I had someone riding shotgun.
I wanted to make a list of the things I’d do regularly if I were still single. Truthfully, none of them have to do with being stereotypically single, it’s all “being my best self”:
Work out more
Eat a vegan diet
Expand my film knowledge
Cook healthy
Learn new languages
Go to museums
Read at night
Write at night
None of these things can’t happen because I’m engaged. I don’t know what part of my brain decided that, or why they did that.
This is the year I reset. Retool. Rekindle. Restore.
It’s raining outside and it’s 10:33 at night on a Monday. I want to write down another list of things, but make it a list of little things that bring me happiness.
Rainy nights
Rainy mornings
Warm bathmats and towels
Cool mornings
The smell of fire pits
For a girl so food-driven, it’s funny to think that there’s no food mentioned there. I think that bodes well for me.
I promise it won’t be almost a month until next time. I might even be back tomorrow. If not, I promise to be writing elsewhere.
I believe my last post was two weeks ago. That said, what if I told you that I wasn’t NOT writing, but in reality, working on a long overdue, always wanted, but never took the time to complete, project?
I give you, the mind baby of years and the birthed child below: the Glam Girl manifesto.
I am not the only one who has looked at these magazines advertising workout, beauty, and health tips from the toppest of the top Models and thought “Oh shoot, I should try that.” You do that enough over the years, and some things are new (the power of loose powder), some things are familiar (Prep H can do more than treat the obvious and the equally obvious), and some things are so gloriously overstated that you think they’d sink in by now (you’ll know it when you see it).
I made special priority to focus in on my current #WomenCrushWednesdays: Gisele Bundchen, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Candace Swanepoel. How perfect is it that today is Wednesday?
There’s also a few random cameos from other fabulous icons of the runway and the red carpet, and a section of general ideas from various nutritionists, dieticians, and makeup artists to the legends. To that, I owe credit entirely to byrdie.com, wherein I fell down so many rabbit holes that I’m surprised I didn’t wind up in a Mad Tea Party. It’s still going, by the way, I saved some more articles to browse at my leisure later. A “journalist’s” work is never done.
That said, I did eliminate SOME excess. I don’t think I included any specific products because there were some obvious product sponsorships (the aforementioned ladies are all current and former Victoria’s Secret models, so was I surprised to see that they all promoted VS fragrances? Not that they shouldn’t, it’s literally their job and “Bombshell” is bomb).
All right punks, let’s do this.
Gisele Bundchen
Who is she? Brazilian, mostly retired supermodel, who has since become an accomplished author and environmentalist advocating for saving the world for the future generations. If sports mean anything to you, she’s also married to current and longtime GOAT, Tom Brady. He cute, I won’t lie. She, however, was nicknamed “The Body,” and was featured in Vogue’s editorial “Return of the Curve.” Victoria’s Secret Angel, obviously.
Makeup – Less is more. Natural all the way! When doing a smokey eye, use beige or gold eyeliner in the inner corner to prevent eyes from looking too far apart. Blush only on the apples of the cheek and nose (NOT BELOW CHEEKBONES).
Skincare – Cleanser and chemical peels. She advocates a HEALTHY DIET, with a good balance of fats, protein, and W A T E R . Moisturize to keep from skin deterioration and premature aging.
Hair – She doesn’t brush her hair much, to keep those sexy waves. She uses detangling hair conditioner to keep things unruly.
Adriana Lima
Who is she? THE Victoria’s Secret Angel, if you ask me. During her final walk in the 2018 show, her fellow models jokingly but not jokingly lowered their heads in reverency, one mumbling, “bow to the queen.” Present in more than a handful of Super Bowl commercials and probably even more fantasies than the VS Fantasy Bra, she has piercing blue eyes and a megawatt smile.
Makeup – Good red lip and LOTS of mascara. Products that can be both blush and lipstain are ideal! Another fan of “less is more,” she’ll go barefaced with lotion and shimmer powder/bronzer. Pro tip: Moisten eyeliner pencil to get a more precise line.
Skincare – Soak skin in pads dipped in ice cold coconut water
Hair – Avocado mask and flaxseed oil, once a week
Diet – Portion Control, Blackberries, blueberries, and steamed veggies.
Exercise – Jump Rope
Alessandra Ambrosio
Who Is She? I know we’re mad at Victoria’s Secret right now, okay? I KNOW. Their sizes don’t accommodate the average American woman, and their head of marketing could use a healthy dose of reality (or at the very least, a look at what is considered sexy these days). But just for one glimmering moment, I want the focus to not be on the politics, but rather on the girls who make the VS show so iconic. The TRUE Angels. Alessandra has been along for the ride since the dawn of Gisele and Adriana. Equally Brazilian, and equally beautiful, iffen you ask me (but no one did. Why are you here again?)
Makeup – Natural, with minimal color on cheeks and lips (lip balm with nude liner, or a two in one blush/lip product). Bronzer for a sun-kissed look, playful eyes on special occasions!
Skincare – Exfoliating Mask, toner, hydrating cream, vitamin C serum
Pro Tip – Sleep! Lots of it!
Candace Swanepoel
Who is She? VS Angel, but she’s different! She’s not Brazilian, she’s… South African.
Makeup – Cheek and Lip Stain (I’m noticing double-up products are a pattern!). Laura Mercier Eye Brow Pencil
Skincare – Body scrub of coconut oil, sugar, and coffee.
Hair – Coconut and Argan oil.
Diet – Beauty smoothie: coconut oil, flaxseed oil, banana, protein, some kind of antioxidant fruit like blueberries or strawberries or some nut butter. Avoids meat, prefers vegetarian
Destress – Yoga and meditation
Travel Tip – Brazil nuts and almonds (good for hair and nails), protein bars, and fruit are better than whatever the terminal food court has to offer.
Again, these were my MAIN homeskillets. Now let’s check out some other pro-tips from other models, past and present, and a brief few who can only be described as iCONic.
Lindsay Ellingson – Yoga! Inversions (where your legs are above your body and the weight lies on your arms) draws more blood to the face, creating a more flushed glow. Gabrielle Union – Drinks a gallon of water a day. Homegirl has not aged since “Bring It On,” so I believe it. Miranda Kerr – Uses a spoon instead of an eyelash curler. Aloe vera for your skin! Eats fresh berries, kale, cucumber, baby spinach and celery (possibly this was the contents of one juice. I didn’t write that down clearly. That’s on me). Kourtney Kardashian – Water water water! Sunscreen is a must. Tinted foundation is a never. Jaime King – Use your fingers when applying concealer. Adria Arjona – Use aloe on scars. Coffee, sugar and honey makes for a great monthly scrub. Lais Ribiero – Take your makeup off before bed and de-puff under eyes with cucumber mask 1x a week Julie Ann Luna – Use face masks RIGHT after a hot steamy shower to lock in moisture Rosie Huntington Whitley – Facial massages! Click HERE for how to do this right. Emily Ratajkowski – Use lipstick as blush.
Now it’s time for the specialist pro tip, or what I’m calling “A Smarter Person Would Have Written their Names Down but Once Again these are the Unsung Heroes who make the Genetically Gifted Hobos into Hotties and What They Say about Being Healthy.”
Makeup Tips
Loose powder — Finisher, dry shampoo, in between mascara coats
Lip balm — Use it as a highlighter, eye shadow softener, or a cream blush
Facial mist — Softens harsh lines or cakey texture
Bronzer — Sweep on both cheeks AND eyes for stronger but subtler glow
Clear Wax Brow Pencil — GREAT lip liner
Diet Ginger Tea – Grate a chunk of ginger into hot water, add honey and lime to taste.
Good foods – Tropical fruits like pineapple and papaya. Lean meats like poultry and high-fat fish. Veggies. Simple starches like rice, potatoes, and yams. Cucumber. Put it in water, eat it raw. CU. CUM. BER. Bad foods – Dairy, Alcohol, Packaged foods that suggest low fat/sugar. It’s a TRAP. Gluten and baked goods like bagels, muffins, and pastries should be avoided too. Ditto cereal, yogurt, chips, crackers, and soda. Just don’t have fun ever. You idiot.
Prepare to be shocked – Water.
Protein bars – Despite earlier advice, protein bars aren’t real.
It’s 50/50 sugar and fat. If you’re going to eat one, pick one that markets it honestly.
Additional Healthy Pro Tips
60 minutes of cardio 6 days a week will get you ready and raring to go.
Epsom Salt Bath – Pour 12 pounds of Epsom salt into a hot bath, then soak for twenty minutes. Wash off in cold water. Wake up without water weight. If you say so, sport.
Preparation H the night before on the back of your legs tightens skin
Biggest protein meal should be dinner, not breakfast/lunch.
While compiling this information, I also decided to give myself personal goals and mini-ideas on how to manifest these tips.
Lazy non productive days – no screens. Reading and writing and creativity. Eat what I want, but self care and no makeup is the priority (inspired by Emily Ratajkowski and Nina Dobrev).
Yoga in the mornings and the evenings, ten minutes each (inspired by Lindsay Ellingson).
Twelve days before the wedding: No dairy, bread, or alcohol. Avoid late night starches, too!
Go on a fitness quest — find classes nearby that I like. And I like:
Boxing
Tennis
Dance (I’d love to do ballet, hip hop… maybe even a bit of pole dancing and heels! Those always look so cool)
Rock Climbing
Cycling
Along with that, I want to try Pilates!
So what did we learn today?
Lean protein and veggies are your best friend. Dairy is your nemesis.
Dual action cheek and blush are your friends, too! But also, less is more. I met ya halfway there.
Oh, and also… don’t forget: WATER.
Like I said, I’ve been down this rabbit hole for a few weeks, so I can say that a face mask post shower feels glorious. I can also say that putting blush down your nose is a scam and you just look sunburned. I am unskilled but still learning.
There you have it! A brief, but mostly scam-free, resource on how to be as beautiful as runway models and Hollywood starlets. And in the end, isn’t that more important than accomplishing financial success and personal happiness?
Today is August 25! I’m headed into the final third of the year, and I thought I’d take a look at some of my New Year’s Resolutions and see how they’re coming along. I think that I’m still working on all of them, and I’ve made progress with all of them to a degree. Let’s see!
Do an unassisted pull-up: I’m getting there! I’m at 45 pounds assisted, and I can do about five.
Do a handstand: Marvin Clods. Glen Close. Not even close. I WANT to complete this by the new year, but I’m so close to my wedding that I’m scared to fall and break something. I’ll get back into this with the last two months of the year. We’ll see what happens!
Make mindfulness a regular practice: Better, but not great. I’m not meditating but I find myself focusing more on my choices and my actions. Self awareness. It’s a start but I agree it could be better.
Make style changes: Yes! High waisted bottoms, cute sneakers, and long cardigans to look casual but cute. Like Kendall Jenner but not a genetic lottery winner. It’s going great!
Do something new: If NOTHING ELSE — I ate gator this year. It was all right! I also did a SoulCycle class, and I’ve done spin before but not SoulCycle. It was fun but they don’t have it in Orlando yet! Rude. I’ve done a couple other things I haven’t done before too but quite frankly I can’t remember. I should have written down every time I did something new. I’ll be more cognizant the rest of this year. I’m going to Italy, does that count?
Take a Career Step: Yes, but no. I’ve told my supervisor directly that I want to move to the Golf Channel/TV corporation side of things, and he’s open to me making that transition by the end of the year! Hopefully I can get to that by the beginning of next year, so I can get my foot in and do some grunt work during the golf season of 2020 and the summer Olympics!
Go Stargazing: Not yet. I’ve looked at the stars and had a nice time, but I haven’t taken a night to just lie out with a blanket and think about life. That said, we’re moving to a nice neighborhood with lots of parks! Maybe a star-gazing date night is in our future.
So we’ve established: Dents have been made, but more damage is there to be done! Revisiting makes me more invigorated to keep working. Let’s do this like Brutus!
Living in Orlando was the opposite of what I thought my future held. When I graduated high school, I was ready to head up north and take on NYC after college and climb my way up the corporate ladder. Life happens when you’re making other plans.
Aaron got a great job in a town outside of Orlando a month before our graduation from UVM, and I was certain of my future with him. I begrudgingly returned to Florida, assuaging myself with the positives: I’d be closer to my mom and Aaron decided that with our close proximity to the parks, a Disney Annual Passholder membership was imminent.
It’s been three years since our graduation, and we’ve lived separately and together since. We started out in Orlando suburbs but now live in a neighborhood so close to the parks that we hear the fireworks at night as we get ready for bed. We tend to go at minimum once a month, though often more. It’s surreal to think that a vacation that families save up a year to provide their kids is just a typical Saturday for us. We are so very very lucky.
After being a Passholder for nearly two years, I know the parks like the back of my hand. I know all the tricks, how to maximize your time, and will give you random fun facts while you wait in line. Truthfully, my first job out of college made me really sad and I often felt like it crushed my soul. I would go to Disney World and get a little bit of that spark back, get a sense of what it feels like to be happy, before going back to work on Monday (repeat for a little over a year). Now I’m out of that job and even closer to the parks and it truly does spark joy in my heart.
So you can imagine my disappointment when this tweet, and the corresponding Facebook post, made it’s rounds on the internet last month:
I don’t particularly love the language used in this post, but if it’s good enough for a toddler mom to share, it’s good enough for a childless millenial to post. Am I right?
There was a lot that bothered me in this post, but I actually started to think about the root of the “problem”: a lot of millenials have been flocking to Disney lately. And my question is: why?
I have never taken a sociology course (though I think I accidentally sat in on the first five minutes of one after mixing up the building names for a different class my junior year at UVM), nor have I done any legitimate research. This is all conjecture, one childless millenial’s theory (or theories):
There’s a lot of millenials out there. Statistically speaking, the generation born between the late eighties and the mid-nineties is the largest since the baby boomers of the fifties. Thanks for the prosperity, Reagan, I assume, because your success sure made for a lot of baby happy parents. There may just be an influx of millenials in all public spaces because there’s just a lot of us. If you don’t like us at Disney, I promise you, we’re at Universal, Legoland, the Tate Modern, the Eiffel Tower, we are in your favorite juice bar both ordering and serving you an acai bowl. We are on the other end of the phone, repairing the internet browser connection for you while simultaneously troubleshooting your printer. We are in your daughter’s classroom, teaching her how to read. Mind your manners. Or should I say:
Millenials hit the technological goldmine: our tiny tot years had VHS tapes. Music went from tape players to Walkmans to iPods. Our tween years had the internet. Our teens and twenties had (and have) social media. We have more access to shared Disney content than any other generation. What’s more…
The sixties, seventies and eighties saw a bit of a slump for Disney. It wasn’t until 1989’s The Little Mermaid that Disney started to get it’s magic back. With releases of the classics on aforementioned VHS tapes, we could spend all day singing to Cinderella and Snow White. Then came the true evolution of the Disney “Renaissance”: Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Lion King, Toy Story (and Toy Story 2), Mulan, and Tarzan were all released in the 1990s. We watched them in theatres and then they were popped into our VHS players for us to watch over, and over, and over again. Personally speaking, my mom had CDs of Disney music ranging from the most recent triumphs to the earliest tunes. On hot summer days, she’d play the CDs on our home speaker system so we’d be listening to Disney music by the pool. My privilege may be showing, but you get my point: our generation not only had the most access to Disney, but more quality Disney content was provided to us than that previous generations.
Remember how I said this is all solely conjecture? Here’s my biggest doozy:
The previous generations were old enough to recognize what happened when the planes hit the towers. All millenials could recognize that some scary people with hate in their hearts destroyed some special buildings, and that a lot of people died. Our parents were scared. Family members flew out to foreign countries in camouflage and didn’t come back. Getting on planes took way longer. Grown-ups were just different.
To me, it makes perfect sense that my generation has a stronghold on Disney. It is a crystal clear marker of happier times, of apple juice and dress-up. Playing in the pool (or lake, or ocean) pretending you were Ariel, or wanting to shoot a bow and arrow like Mulan, wanting to grow big and strong like Hercules, wanting to be smart like Belle, wanting to be king, like Simba. Our hopes and dreams, our peace of mind, is tightly connected to Disney.
I feel as though a lot of the same people who would agree with this frustrated mom would likely support the notion that millenials are special snowflakes who got participation trophies and live their lives with kiddie gloves on and a helmet. While some millenials do still have their training wheels (I’m not ashamed to admit that I’d be much worse off were it not for the support system I have), a lot of others work more than one job to stay afloat. Most have thousands of dollars in student debt. It’s likely that a lot of them will be renting until their forties. Some are still feeling the aftershocks of prejudice that is only just now being slowly washed away, and some are still living in the harsh reality that if change is coming, they won’t be alive to see it come to fruition. It’s tough growing up in general, and I’m sure that every person on both sides of the argument can agree with that. Millenials just happen to have found comfort in the memories of their childhood.
Disney World is a truly magical place. It inspires hope, unites families, and reminds you that while emotional maturity makes you a grown-up, you can always be young at heart. One of my favorite traits about me is my childlike sense of wonder. I’ll ask the silly questions, I’ll get some answers, I’ll laugh and smile and sing the songs. Happiness is such a beautiful thing. I will always feel at home in Disney, and I’m not embarrassed by its place in my heart.
A fellow Disney fan posted this note on Facebook, and I think it rings true for me and the other “childless millenials” that roam the parks:
To my fellow millenials: grab hold of your dreams, and make them come true.
To the frustrated, tired mom of Aiden: I’ll gladly wait with him for a pretzel, and gently teach him that patience is a virtue if he gets cranky in line. In the meantime, you should sneak over to Tom Sawyer’s Island. In my experience, it’s pretty quiet, and you can get a quick nap in before the afternoon parade. We’ll bring you a Mickey ice cream while we’re at it.
