Category: BOOKS!

Mallory’s Monthly Reads: Two Audiobooks!

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This feels like a cop-out version, because I really only finished two books that I already started prior to this month! That said, I read what I read (and I will finish what I started).

  1. From a Certain Point of View – This is a compilation of short stories in the “Star Wars” canon. Basically, it’s the plot of Episode IV (technically the first movie, AKA not a prequel or a sequel), but told through the eyes of minor or previously unknown characters in the saga. Some of the highlights for me were “Born in the Storm,” which was the story of a stormtrooper rebelling against the Empire; “Eclipse,” which describes Alderaan in its final moments; and “Master and Apprentice;” which was from the perspective of Qui-Gon Jinn (who I don’t really consider a minor character anymore, but… for intents and purposes he is). Because I listened to the audiobook, I had an appreciation for “The Luckless Rodian” and “Added Muscle,” which were from the perspective of Greedo and Boba Fett, respectively. “The Luckless Rodian” was narrated by Neil Patrick Harris, and “Added Muscle” was narrated by Sir Jon Hamm! He’s not a real knight but he could be. I’d allow it. There’s going to be a second compilation later this year for Episode V, and I KNOW I will be enjoying that!
  2. Bygone Badass Broads – Yes. I FINALLY FINISHED this book. It took me less than thirty minutes. I already wrote a post about this book, but I’m going to share some love for Angela Morley. Born Wally Stott, Angela was a composer and conductor, becoming a household name in the UK for BBC Radio listeners. She transitioned between 1970 and 1972, and came back stronger than ever. She went on to compose and arrange music on both the stage and screen, and collaborated frequently with John Williams. That’s right, in this tiny compilation of amazing women throughout history that we may not know, I found a woman who contributed to the life-changing score of “Star Wars.” She was nominated for an Academy Award in 1976, and was the first transgender woman to receive such a nomination. Bad. Ass.

I hope I read more this month, but in the meantime, both of these books were great! I’ve actually made a list of all the books I want to read (or, ahem, finish) by the end of the year. Fingers crossed I make it!

Mallory’s Monthly Reads – June/July

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Okay! I went in with the intention of reading seven books this month, so I would have eight to discuss today!

I got through three and a half. SO. I’ll be adding a few more “monthly” reads throughout the rest of the year in hopes of catching up with my 52 books in a year goal.

Of the four books I read, three were GREAT. One was just okay. I think those “just okay” books are what slogs me down in my goal. If I’m not enthusiastic about what I’m reading, then I won’t want to read it. The whole point of this goal is to get more pleasure out of reading and if I’m just not interested in this particular story, why would I take the time to read it?

It goes back to my resolve last month to only read books that grab me in the first two days. I’ll be putting this into practice this month! Until then, let’s dive in to my summer reads:

1. A New Model: What Confidence, Beauty, and Power Really Look Like by Ashley Graham and Rebecca Paley. This is Ashley Graham’s memoir (rather, her life thus far). This book was published in 2017, so it hadn’t covered the past three years of work (including a podcast and a Vogue cover with her husband while pregnant with their first child), but it included her childhood in the mid-west, her journey in the fashion industry, and her philosophy/work ethic. She is one of the first prominent plus-size models in the fashion industry (though I think she’s fed up with the phrase “plus-size”), and is an advocate for more women outside the high fashion standard joining the runway. She talks in the book about struggling early with her sense of self, and becoming a party girl in the early years of her career after moving to New York. She quickly grounded herself (she talks of having a strong relationship with her mother) and established herself as a must-have in the community. She is now represented by IMG Models, one of the biggest agencies in the world!

Here are a few lines/reflections from the book that I loved:

“My mother, assistant, glam squad, and anyone else I spend a lot of time with have to talk positively about themselves, because if they don’t, I check them quickly. (My manager, my agent, my assistant, my publicist, and my book publisher are all curvy women: does that make me biased? Or does that just mean we are really the majority?)”

“You are good enough to make whatever you want to achieve possible. You just need to find your talent and passion—then put a heck of a lot of work into it.”

“Beauty doesn’t last, but how you [make] people feel will.”

2. Born Round: A Story of Family, Food and a Ferocious Appetite by Frank Bruni. This was ANOTHER memoir, one of a writer from a large but loving Italian family. Frank Bruni struggled with his weight as a kid, and fluctuated back and forth between strong and slender from swimming to large and in charge from too much takeout. I certainly felt a kinship with him to a degree. Sometimes your body image takes over how you live your life. I’ve made choices based on how I feel about how I look, how I’ll feel when presented with an opportunity involving food, and denying myself stupid things out of fear of my love of food taking over for me. It’s not a great feeling! That said, I think that he struggled a bit more romantically based on his body image (he would put off dates because he didn’t like his body and didn’t want to risk looking fat on a date!). I’ll also add that dating probably wasn’t SUPER easy when you’re gay and it’s the nineties/early oughts. His reporting got him on Air Force One in the Bush administration, and later took him to Italy as a correspondent! Having just gone to Italy last year, reading this part of his book made me nostalgic. To boot, he wound up as the food critic for the New York Times! A food addict’s dream… and nightmare. That said, apparently it was during this time that he kept the most consistency in his body image journey. It gives me hope!

I found myself saying “Wow, relatable” during quite a few parts of this book, but here’s a few highlights:

“She’d spot another set of stickers on another car and read them aloud, too: “Harvard, Oberlin . . . Fairfield Community College.” She’d pause before the last school, which she’d mention in a lower, sad voice. “Ouch,” she’d add. “Somebody didn’t come through.” I continued to swim so that I’d come through.”

“There are some things you enjoy doing, and there are other things you enjoy having done. And that second kind of enjoyment lasts longer.”

“Vanity’s an erratic ruler, governing some things so ruthlessly that others escape its scrutiny altogether.”

3. Queen’s Peril by E.K. Johnston. That’s right guys, it’s another Star Wars book! In May, I read Queen’s Shadow, which described Padme’s transition from Queen to Senator. Queen’s Peril is the story of Padme’s first few months as Queen of Naboo. Not only do you find out about her own decisions and ideas to be a good queen, you hear about her handmaidens and how they all become friends, and learn to impersonate Padme when the time calls for it. The book serves as both a prequel and is in media res (I hope I used that right… where’s my ninth grade English teacher when I need her?) with The Phantom Menace. As a result, there were a few moments when I thought to myself “Oop! They said the thing!” or “Oop! That’s the thing from the movie!” and “Oop! That’s Anakin!” The final moments of the book are the last scene of A New Hope from Leia’s perspective, and it was so satisfying. Between the strong female friendships and the solid writing, I sort of want this book to be adapted into a movie. Everyone says (rightly) that Millie Bobbie Brown looks like a young Natalie Portman, and I think she’d be an amazing Padme. We shall see. I don’t have any quotes from this one, because it was an audio book. I have just discovered the “clip” tool on Audible, and I think that’s sort of like the “highlight” feature on my Kindle. Time will tell. I like “reading” while I get my steps. It’s a great way to start my morning!

4. The Ride of a Lifetime: Lessons Learned from 15 Years as CEO of the Walt Disney Company by Robert “Bob” Iger. Bob Iger is the current CEO of the Walt Disney Company. He intended to step down earlier this year, but is currently running to keep things afloat in the COVID-19 world we live in now. He has served as President, COO, and CEO of the Walt Disney Company, and ran ABC Television and ABC prior to these roles. In his time leading the company, Disney bought Pixar, Marvel, Lucasfilm, and 21st Century Fox. Bob was also instrumental in the building of Disney Shanghai, which exceeded expectations in its first year. One of the things that stood out to me was that during his presidency, over the course of roughly 24 hours, Bob had to respond to the Pulse Nightclub shooting (after discovering that Pulse was the second target, since the shooter initially went to Disney Springs but was frightened by security), open the new park in Shanghai, and be hands-on in the death of a toddler at the Grand Floridian Resort. That’s a tough day at the office. Nonetheless, Bob carried out Disney business with empathy, an open mind, and an eye on the horizon. His time wasn’t without flaws, but he has been known for his kindness among employees and colleagues. I definitely got that from the book. The end of his book included a full appendix of takeaways for the average person looking to be successful (the eponymous “lessons”). That’s a real sport right there. If you weren’t paying attention while you read (it happens, even to me… but not with this book), he made a Cliff’s Notes! I’m eager, as a Disney fan, to see how he stays involved post-pandemic (if he wants to participate still, that is. He could be excited to retire completely!), and how his successor, Bob Chapek, handles the Disney legacy.

I took a LOT of notes in this one! I won’t list them all, but here are the big ones that stuck out the most:

“Sometimes, even though you’re “in charge,” you need to be aware that in the moment you might have nothing to add, and so you don’t wade in. You trust your people to do their jobs and focus your energies on some other pressing issue.”

“Simply put, people are not motivated or energized by pessimists.”

“Fear of failure destroys creativity.”

“Empathy is a prerequisite to the sound management of creativity, and respect is critical.”

“Managing your own time and respecting others’ time is one of the most vital things to do as a manager.”

“Nothing is a sure thing, but you need at the very least to be willing to take big risks. You can’t have big wins without them.”

“No matter who we become or what we accomplish, we still feel that we’re essentially the kid we were at some simpler time long ago… wherever you are along the path, you’re the same person you’ve always been.”

 

Okay, there were a lot more for this book, but I wanted to save some to reflect on in a separate way. As someone who loves her company, and someone who loves Disney, I admire some of the ways that Bob approaches his leadership. He touched on how ambition can be counterproductive, how you can get so caught up in wanting more at your job that you start to do your actual job less. He had this to say:

“It’s important to know how to find the balance—do the job you have well; be patient; look for opportunities to pitch in and expand and grow; and make yourself one of the people, through attitude and energy and focus, that your bosses feel they have to turn to when an opportunity arises. Conversely, if you’re a boss, these are the people to nurture—not the ones who are clamoring for promotions and complaining about not being utilized enough but the ones who are proving themselves to be indispensable day in and day out.”

I think that I’m indispensable at my job. I work hard, I go the extra mile, and my tenacity makes for quick problem solving. I have a one-on-one meeting with my supervisor this week. I might use that as an opportunity to go over how I feel about work, and how he sees me as an employee. I don’t think he’d have anything negative to say about me, but if there’s more that I can and should be doing, I better do it!

Lastly, I briefly mentioned this in my last post, but Bob had this to say about goal-setting:

“Priorities are the few things that you’re going to spend a lot of time and a lot of capital on. Not only do you undermine their significance by having too many, but nobody is going to remember them all.”

That stuck with me, too! I want to be better about not overwhelming myself with things to do, and then either doing them at a 2% level or not at all. I bet that setting myself up for success means focusing most on the things that matter.

It’s just a nicer way of Ron Swanson’s iconic line: “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”

Ron Swanson and Bob Iger. Capitalist icons.

Now, I’m off to ride my bike, and then maybe listen to the half of the book I need to finish. Spoiler alert: it’s another Star Wars book.

 

 

 

Mallory’s Monthly Reads: May the Force Be With You

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I’m back, baby! Four books done for the month of May. This month felt special, because rather than wanting to finish these books to meet a deadline, I wanted to finish these books because I wanted to find out what happens next… even though I kind of already knew what was next!

If you couldn’t tell from my previous book preferences, my tastes don’t range far from the meta-fiction and memoirs. I’ve always found reality is stranger (albeit less complicated) than fiction, so I’ve never really ventured into the realm of fantasy novels. At least, not as an adult. Growing up I read the Harry Potter series like everyone else and L-O-V-E-D the Magic Tree House novels! My children will be read both. With corresponding voices.

Meanwhile, I don’t think Aaron, despite being a voracious reader, has ever read more than a few memoirs or biographies, instead consuming hundreds of medieval, space, and fantasy stories. With that in mind, I decided to sample a bit of taste from him. In spirit of “Star Wars Day,” May Fourth, may the fourth be with you, I elected to read four Star Wars-adjacent novels this month.

Note: if you have only seen each film once, or you haven’t seen Star Wars, some of this stuff might go over your head. I’m not gatekeeping by any means, but if you’re scratching you’re head a little from here on out, know I was scratching my head while reading, too. There’s a lot. A LOT.

I’ve seen the films in the Skywalker saga and thoroughly enjoyed Galaxy’s Edge, but that has been my extent of dalliance in the realm of Star Wars. Aaron, however, has read nearly every book in the Legends canon (also known as the stuff that came out between the originals, prequels, and before the buyout by Disney). I don’t believe in the concept of “real fan” vs. “fake fan,” but if I did, I’d say Aaron’s as real as they come. I knew I’d be in his capable hands if I asked him for guidance on where to start. He quickly recommended the novelization of Revenge of the Sith (arguably the best of the prequels). He also mentioned that the actress who voiced Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker’s padawan in the Rebels and Clone Wars animated series, narrated the Audible version of Ahsoka’s standalone novel, as well as a standalone novel about Padme Amidala’s early life as a senator. With that, and the knowledge of Carrie Fisher’s memoir sitting unfinished in my bookshelf, I was ready.

One month later and I can successfully say that I am still confused but equally excited about the prospects before me.

Ralph Wiggum dressed as Princess Leia saying I'm a Star Wars
Image from Imgur. “Once Upon a Time in Springfield.” The Simpsons . Fox. 10 January 2010.

As I said, I’ve seen each of the mainstream Star Wars movies at least once, some more than once. With that in mind, there were some bits and pieces of each novel where the original trilogy or prequel films were alluded to in some way or another. Each time that happened, it felt like when the characters in the movie say the name of the movie, like “Ooooh! He said the the thing!”

 

  1. Star Wars: Queen’s Shadow by E.K. Johnston. This novel acted as an in-between of The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. Padme Amidala has ended her reign as queen of Naboo, and her successor has asked her to serve as Naboo’s senator in the Galactic Senate. She takes on the role, and learns the ropes of dealing with politics where, as the little boy from Tatooine would say, “the biggest problem in the universe is no one helps each other.” As wacky as it sounds, I sympathized with the story of this former royal striving to bring peace and equality to the galaxy when it seemed like even her close allies weren’t interested in helping her. People make fun of her traditional clothing, her inexperience, and everything you can think of to diminish her credibility, despite the fact that she was one of Naboo’s most beloved queens in history. She eventually finds her footing with the help of her handmaidens and the few allies she makes, chief among them being Senator Organa from Alderaan.
    This novel is full of “Oop! She’s talking about Anakin! She’s gonna see him again in a few years and fall in love! Oop!” moments. It also left me balking at some of the dramatic irony. Knowing what becomes of Chancellor Palpatine and the senate as a whole, I remember scoffing and thinking, “Really, Padme? You’re gonna sit there and see all of this happen and it’s not gonna occur to you to think ‘Hm, I’m being opposed at every turn by the guy who I thought wanted to help me and the things I want are pretty moral things that most people with integrity would expect from modern society and he doesn’t want to help me maybe I should look into that’? You’re just gonna keep letting this slide?” The audacity of it all! She’s supposed to be brilliant!! How’d she not see this coming at all?
    That said, this line stuck out to me, as another female senator provided SOME guidance to Padme on how to deal with offensive news articles:“The newsnets went after you because you were an easy story,” Bonteri said. “Which is not the same as an easy target, so don’t get all worked up.”

    I wish I could send that to Billie Eilish, Adele, and every girl with a smidgen of TikTok fame. The novel leaves room for another (and maybe more than one) leading up to Attack of the Clones, and I kind of hope they write one! In the meantime, the prequel to this book about Padme’s rule as queen comes out tomorrow. I just might indulge!
  2. Revenge of the Sith: Star Wars: Episode III by Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith was my favorite of the prequels, and it was the first Star Wars movie I saw in theatres (unless you count when I snuck in for the last ten minutes of Attack of the Clones, which my brother went to see with my dad while my mom and sister and I went to see another movie and our movie finished early and I wanted to bond with my dad so I went in to watch the rest of their movie… which I don’t).
    Here’s some footage of eleven year old me watching the lightsaber battle between Anakin and Obi Wan on Mustafar:

    DeanPeltonThisBetterNotAwakenAnythingInMe
    “Environmental Science.” Community. NBC. 19 November 2009.

    Granted, I went in knowing what was going to happen as a result, but that didn’t mean I didn’t appreciate it any less. If anything, this novel had bits and pieces that weren’t included in the film, like a scene with Count Dooku that really makes you think about his duel with Anakin and Obi Wan. The dramatic irony is strong in this one.
    There were a lot of great quotes in this book, and I’ll bring up a few of them later, because they fit so well into what’s going on in the world right now. It’s been a shocking week, but I will get there. In the meantime, here’s a few quotes that stood out to me:

    “The adults have a sickening suspicion that Jedi cannot be trusted. Not anymore. That even the greatest of them can suddenly just … snap.”

    “But for Anakin Skywalker, the completely impossible had an eerie way of being merely difficult.”

    “Anakin realizes that this isn’t actually an order. That it is, in fact, nothing more than what he’s been waiting for his whole life. Permission.”

    Reading this, and thinking about my own personal struggles, I’m not gonna say I condone Anakin’s transformation, and what he does as a result of it, but if I were given all this power and all this dismissal of it and no one listens to me and everyone tells me what to do except for this one guy who ALWAYS listens to me and NEVER tells me what to do and then I get to be with the love of my life and the people I’m supposed to trust say I can never be with her and that if she dies that’s just life but then this ONE guy says if I channel the energy of this power I have that literally no one else has as strongly to save her life but only with his help can it happen but then those other guys are like hey you gotta kill that one guy… like… I get it.

  3. Star Wars: Ahsoka by E.K. Johnston. While reading these books, the Clone Wars television series came to an end. The Clone Wars television series was focused on (yep, you guessed it) the Clone Wars, from the perspective of Anakin, Obi Wan, and Anakin’s padawan, Ahsoka Tano. Ahsoka Tano’s story took up the majority of the narration of those last few episodes (which are currently being lauded for their storytelling, animation, and more). She’s a fascinating character, and this novel details what happened to her after the finale and before Star Wars: Rebels, which takes place between the prequels and the original trilogy. I think. I never saw Rebels. After what’s happened this month I will probably watch Rebels.
    There are a few detail discrepancies since this novel was released prior to this season of Clone Wars, but the overall gist is mostly the same. To me, there’s no glaringly obvious plot-holes. Ahsoka hides out on the planet Thabeska and the moon of Raada, eluding capture and a similar fate that her Jedi Alliance friends faced during Order 66. While in hiding, she plants seeds of resistance to the Empire, makes new friends with the planet (and moon) dwellers, and copes with her loss of Jedi friends, Clone colleagues, all while contemplating the fate of her Master, Anakin Skywalker. Again, plenty of dramatic irony. Having the voice actor of Ahsoka made listening to this Audible even more delightful!
  4. The Princess Diarist by Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher had written plenty in her too-short time on this Earth, and this memoir focused on her life as the iconic Princess Leia. She reflects on her life prior to the movie, and shares the diary she kept while shooting Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. The diaries mostly reflect on her affair and crush on Harrison Ford. He was married at the time, and they divorced not long after shooting, but nothing ever became of “Carrison,” as she calls it in the memoir. It isn’t lewd by any sense, and Carrie mostly just recalls how it started and how in love with him she was at the time. Reading through her diary entries, and thinking about how charming Han Solo is and how Harrison Ford, even now, in his late seventies, can get it, I totally understood her feelings for him at the time. I mean oof, that cool guy grin. THAT’S MY TYPE.
    Bookending her reflection of her relationship with Harrison Ford, Carrie discusses what it was to be Princess Leia: not realizing at the time what would happen with this tiny space movie she shot at nineteen years old, being many a man’s first crush, and being forced to look at herself almost daily in a slaver’s bikini. She says that many young fans at Comic conventions didn’t recognize her as she aged, expecting her to be the young princess in person, and that many fully grown fans were disappointed that she wasn’t Slave Leia shape in her forties. Sometimes she struggled with people who couldn’t separate Leia from Carrie, and sometimes she struggled with that, too. Try as she might, which admittedly wasn’t super hard, she will always be Leia Organa Skywalker. More than that, she will be Carrie Fisher.
    Carrie wrote this book not long before her untimely passing. Her daughter Billie is two years older than I am, and she was in the sequel films and played a scene-stealing Gigi in the coming-of-age movie Booksmart, which was one of my favorite movies from last year. I don’t think anyone could ever replace Carrie, and I genuinely think Billie will come into her own as an actress. That said, if Billie has half her mom’s talent, charm, and “take no prisoners” fearlessness, she will be just fine. In her time, Carrie was appreciated for her brutal honesty. All that said, I hope that if there’s an after life, I can meet her, thank her, and maybe share a laugh.
    As I said, I had started her memoir when it came out a few years ago, but between moving around that time and mourning her, it was hard to pick up again. Today I did, and it took me maybe three hours to do so. No regrets. Here are a few quotes that stood out to me:When referencing her need to clear her mind through keeping a diary: “Better an empty house than an unhappy tenant.”

    From her diaries, when thinking about Harrison: “George says that if you look at the person someone chooses to have “a relationship” with, you’ll see what they think of themselves. So Harrison is what I think of myself.”

    By the way, in this context, George = George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars

    via GIPHY, from “Jasmine Masters handle your liquor”, posted October 28, 2015.

    “My mind has a mind of its own. I try to define my limits by seeing just how far I can go, and I find that I passed them weeks ago.”

    “I noticed right away that Harrison tended to quote philosophers when describing what he thought of the film. ‘As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts,’ he might’ve said when asked if he thought success would change us. He also might’ve said ‘Give me a minute–I’ve only been successful for a few weeks.’ He might’ve said these things, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t.”

    She also has a full diary entry where she laments her taste in men, and how she thinks she should just fall in love with chairs instead, which are at least consistent and sturdy. I won’t post the whole thing, but it brought an inner laugh.

I felt such enjoyment reading these books this month. I genuinely think I will return to Star Wars novels more than once in the rest of this year, they genuinely made me happy. They have symmetry, even if there’s so much I still don’t understand.

That said, in the past month but especially the past week, society has descended into madness. Earlier this month, people were protesting COVID-19 lock-downs with picket signs, few face masks, and machine gun rifles gently slung across many a protester’s shoulders, because they could. The government lamented and began decreasing restrictions, to many’s delight and many a frontline workers’ horror.

In the past two months, there has been a crazy strike in public hate crimes. Will Smith commented “Racism is not getting worse, it’s getting filmed.” Two men were arrested for shooting a black man named Ahmaud Arbery while jogging. He was my age. Breonna Taylor was killed when police broke into her home and shot her when her partner picked up a gun to defend them from intruders (her partner was shot in the leg during this conflict).

Another woman’s life is effectively over because she was caught on film making a false emergency call to NYPD. Amy Cooper, an affluent white woman, was in Central Park with her dog in a section where dogs are required to be leashed. Her dog was not wearing a leash, and Christian Cooper (no relation), a black man who happened to be in the park birdwatching, told her she needed to leash the dog. Amy responded by saying she was going to call the police to tell them an African American man was threatening her. Christian filmed the interaction, which also featured Amy holding her dog not by leashing him, but by the collar, effectively strangling the crying dog for a few minutes. Amy Cooper has been fired from her job, and she surrendered her dog to the adoption agency from whence she got it pending an investigation. That was just last weekend.

In the past week, a video was released of a white police officer arresting a black man and kneeling on his neck for nine minutes, killing him. The man’s name was George Floyd, and it was initially printed that he was being investigated for a fraudulent check. It was later announced that he was accused of using a fake $20 bill. He hadn’t. Regardless, the cops were called, and he was killed by his arresting officer, Derek Chauvin. Chauvin has prior entries of aggression, even racially biased aggression, and within the week of Floyd’s death, he was taken into police custody. His wife has since filed for divorce. Many are considering the implications, given that the wife was in an abusive relationship before and that most women in abusive relationships tend to find themselves in multiple abusive relationships in their lifetime, having been used to the behavior. With that in your head, she waited until he was away from her to file for divorce. It just. It does make you wonder.

The streets are filled with protestors, calling for peace and justice. As people took to the streets, the president tweeted that he supports the police in question and encouraged officers to shoot the protestors. His tweet was removed by Twitter for violating their standards (and many have called for the company to delete his account entirely, as people get removed a lot quicker for a lot less). This weekend has seen cops throwing tear gas, shoving protestors, shooting bullets at protestors, driving police cars into protestors, calling ICE to deport any illegal immigrants at protests, and bringing in children in riot gear as shields.

This is my world right now. I can’t gif that.

As I read through tweet after tweet of anger, flipped through countless Instagram stories about protests and unnecessary race-based murders, all of which are certain to continue, my blood boils and my heart breaks. I don’t really like talking about this for a myriad of reasons, but this is the best way to condense them:
1 – I am a white woman, with an affluent upbringing and no true influence (YET). My words are mostly meaningless and you know what, I don’t think white people should be explaining racism. I genuinely don’t think that’s my place.

2 – Retweeting “SPREAD LOVE, GET JUSTICE! :random emoji” is useless to me. Oh wow, she hates crime and wants everyone to get along, so she posts a social media status about it? How special she is!

NataliePortmanSarcasticallyApplauding
This works on two levels because it emphasizes the sarcasm of being “special” and it’s also Padme Amidala. Image from Google.

It’s armchair activism and it does nothing. I’ll sign petitions and donate what I can quietly. The rest feels performative. And again, *I* know that I support the cause. Maybe if I had 15 million Twitter followers or a high Youtube subscriber count, I’d feel more of an urge to make more of a public statement, knowing that what I said could inform people who don’t fully understand what’s happening here. For now, I’m just part of a millions-large Twitter mob that’s angry. Everything above what I do in the privacy of my own brain feels like a “LOOK AT ME!” show.

This week I watched as police officers assaulted its people, only to then turn on the Ahsoka Audible book and listen to the sounds of Stormtroopers murder citizens of Raada for the slightest dissent. There are so many riots and protests across America right now. Businesses are being looted and people are being assaulted in the streets. Buildings are on fire.

I write this now not as the performative activism I mentioned earlier, but for the same reasons I’ve reflected on Coronavirus in the past few months. Documenting so I never forget.

Assuming things lighten up in terms of the Coronavirus in the next few months, we will have an election to choose whether or not our current president gets a second term. I was convinced that he would get a second term, because the people who want him out don’t want the current frontrunner/ probable candidate for the opposing party to be president either.

Just in the past week alone, I think those who weren’t in his favor are singing a different tune.

These quotes from Revenge of the Sith have truly stood out to me in the past two weeks:

A Senator might carefully construct a reputation, appearing to all the galaxy as honest and upright and honorable, all the while holding the rotten truth of himself so absolutely secret that no one would sense his evil until he had so much power that it was too late to stop him … It was possible.

The brightest light casts the darkest shadow.

It comes only by the release of self, not the exaltation of self. It comes through compassion, not greed.
Love is the answer to the darkness.

 

To those directly impacted by all of this, and those who have joined them in arms in any way… may the force be with you.

 

Mallory’s Monthly Reads – National Poetry Month!

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The month of April is National Poetry Month! I’ve mentioned it before, as I’ve participated in that month-long poetry writing challenge for the past two years. With that in mind, I sought out to read poetry collections this month! I didn’t fare so well. I read two poetry collections that I loved, and didn’t end up finding two more poetry collections to read for this month. Instead, I “read” (Audible) a series of personal essays by a slam poet author-turned-musician, and started another collection of feminist essays on modern interpretations of women in the media. As of this morning I was still “reading” the latter two, but I’ll only be proceeding with one. Read on for the why:

 

1. Inquire Within by IN-Q. I first discovered In-Q (a stage/pen name, real name Adam Schmalholz) on an episode of the new-age podcast I follow, “Your Own Magic.” While on the podcast he recited a few of his poems and I truly loved his rhythm, so I started looking for other performances of his work. Not only has he done several Ted Talks’ worth of poetry, but he’s an accomplished songwriter and has written a few bangers of my generation (chief among them being “Love You Like a Love Song” by Selena Gomez!). Inquire Within is his first published book of works, and was only released at the end of last month. I got the book on Audible, because again, I love his performance style! He approaches his subjects with honesty, and a lot of his poems are autobiographical and based on stories in his life. A few of his poems that I liked from this collection were “For Mom,” “Say Yes,” “Bipartisan,” and “Silence.” My favorite was “Forgiveness,” which was a piece about getting a tattoo inspired by his Jewish upbringing. Delicious plot twist.

Here’s one of his Ted Talks:

2. Egghead: Or, You Can’t Survive on Ideas Alone by Bo Burnham. I think most people my age know, respect, and love Bo Burnham. He was one of the first people to share his “art” on Youtube, only to then make it past the home screens onto Comedy Central, HBO, a few Netflix specials, and writing/directing a critically acclaimed coming-of-age film that honestly nailed the nightmarish pubescent experience. Of course, what can be expected from the guy who sat on a keyboard in his tiny childhood bedroom room, lamenting that his whole family thinks he’s gay? In 2013 he published Egghead, which included several poems that were featured in his stand-up routine around the same time. I finally sat down and read it all in one sitting this past month, and I loved it. Bo’s last comedy special came out in 2016, and it’s still uncertain if he will ever do stand-up again (he’s said that performing live gave him terrible anxiety). He has a special place in my heart and I think/hope that his fans love and appreciate him enough to want more, but not ask for it. There was a movie that was set to come out last month called Promising Young Woman, and he was set to co-star in it. It got pulled from theatres because of COVID-19, but I hope it circles back around later this year. Bo aside, it looked like it was going to be an awesome movie (potentially even a new favorite for me). Anyway, I loved Bo, and his poetry collection made me smile a lot. A few of my favorites from this collection were “Him,” “Different,” and “Letter.” I think my favorite was “Listen.”

Here’s some of his poetry from the book that he used in his stand-up:

3. You Play the Girl: On Playboy Bunnies, Stepford Wives, Train Wrecks, & Other Mixed Messages by Carina Chocano. This is a manifesto on how women are gaslighted, manipulated, and depicted in and by mass media. It dissects (through some personal anecdotes) famous depictions of women, ranging from the eponymous Stepford Wives to Samantha Stephens from “Bewitched.” I think this one is going to take me some time to finish. Each essay feels long, even if it’s maybe five pages. I think it’s just because the subject matter is draining. Women deserve more, and while scared/entitled men may disagree, women are often sabotaged by other women! What the heck, ladies? All I wanted was for Margaery, Danerys, and Sansa to team up with Arya to defeat Cersei Lannister. And what I got was… not that. We could’ve had it ALL, dangit. I DIGRESS. I might just do two essays a week and see where that takes me. If I proceed in that way, once I finish, I will come back and discuss it more at length.

4. Keeping This Mum by Undisclosed Artist.  I wouldn’t say I’m gutless, but I avoid speaking out of turn. I found Undisclosed Artist in a recommended TedTalk list and to be honest, I loved it. I found that he was an accomplished slam poet, and had a series of essays published that featured the praise of a composer I admire on the cover. This composer admired this artist so much that they had collaborated on a track together. Undisclosed Artist is now a rapper that was set to tour this spring, but the tour got cancelled because of Covid. Anyway, I decided that, similarly to IN-Q, I would download the Audible of Undisclosed Artist’s essay collection/memoir, because I enjoyed his diction. While listening to his stories, I started getting a weird vibe from him. I don’t want to say “pretentious,” because I don’t think that’s right, but it’s close. That said, something about the stories he told, and the way he told them, had me thinking that he was kind of a creep. A certain kind of creep that goes after girls, not women, and likes/has to be the smarter person in the relationship. The kind that wouldn’t necessarily be surprising to become a professor that sleeps with his students because they’re consenting adults and it’s not illegal, so who cares?
I know nothing about this guy, and for all I know, I could meet him one day and he could be a truly compassionate, intelligent, and respectable man. I would hate to form (or at least, form publicly) this opinion of him as a shady character. I have no evidence to suggest that he’s a shady person in real life, so I’d prefer to keep his name out of my mouth. I hope that my intuition is in overdrive, because the world could use another intelligent man with good choice of words.

 

This month contains Star Wars Day (May the Fourth, like “May the Fourth be With You”). Between “The Clone Wars” being Aaron’s favorite show right now, all nine films in the Skywalker Saga being released on Disney Plus on Monday, and my desire to buy a lightsaber, I’m really vibing on Star Wars right now. As such, my intention is to read several Star Wars novels this month (including Carrie Fisher’s memoir from her time filming Star Wars. Rest in peace, my cinnamon bun icon). I think the reason that I had trouble reading four books in a month the past two months was because the nonfiction subject matter bummed me out and drained my desire to continue. Maybe I could use a break from the nonfiction and self help and switch gears to some fiction. With that in mind, may the force be with me!

Mallory’s Monthly Reads – Bygone Badass Broads

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As I mentioned in my previous entry, I didn’t manage to finish any books last month. That said, I got halfway through one, and more than 80% of the way through another. The former was Prozac Nation, which I liked but it was very depressing. The latter was Bygone Badass Broads: 52 Forgotten Women Who Changed the World by Mackenzi Lee. Lee’s book was an anthology about incredible women throughout time who aren’t as well known as Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Cleopatra, or Gloria Steinhem. In the process of reading this book, I learned about a bunch of awesome women that I had never known existed! Here’s just three of the women mentioned in the book who blew me away:

  1. Khutulun: Here’s an obscure “Parks and Rec” reference: When Leslie is invited to an event ceremony for women in government, she is accompanied to the luncheon by April, who fangirls over a Mongolian woman named Khongordzol, who grew up in a hut of ice and mud, only to then become her town’s mayor, police chief, and top wolverine wrangler.

    iloveyou
    “London”.Parks and Recreation, written by Michael Schur. 26 September 2013. NBC.

    Khutulun didn’t wrangle wolverines, but she was still pretty badass. She was the daughter of one of Mongolia’s most powerful leaders. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, as Khutulun was an equally fierce warrior. She fought alongside other soldiers, and demanded that any man who wanted to marry her should be able to defeat her in wrestling. If they couldn’t defeat her, they owed her horses. It is said that by the end of her life she had had over ten thousand horses. She remained undefeated in wrestling, but did eventually marry a handsome man (though not much is known about him). Marco Polo was a huge fanboy of hers, being one of the few to document her story.

  2. King Christina of Sweden: Christina became queen at the age of six. Yes. She was the apple of her father (the king’s) eye, and he made sure that his daughter would inherit the throne if anything were to happen to him before she had the chance to properly transition into the role. Christina was educated as though she were a royal male, learning multiple languages, studying hours a day, and impressing all with her wit. She was a great patron of the arts and even performed in plays. She was very anti-womanly pleasures, like becoming a wife and subservient to a man. That said, she had a very close female friend who may have been (definitely was) a romantic partner. Christina’s refusal to marry, along with her frivolous spending and provocative behavior, contributed to her eventually abdicating the throne and converting to Catholicism. She was then exiled, but she eventually returned to Sweden before settling in Italy. She lived a life of scandal and rebellion, but is one of the few women buried in the Vatican after being so beloved by multiple popes. Maybe it’s just because she was in a movie called Vicki Christina Barcelona, but I kind of want to see Scarlett Johansson play her in a movie.

    scarjo
    Hail Caesar! Directed by Ethan and Joel Coen. Performances by Scarlett Johansson, Josh Brolin, and George Clooney. Universal Pictures, 2016.
  3. Sarah Breedlove (Madam C.J. Walker): Sarah was America’s first female billionaire. Born the first free child into a family of slaves, Sarah was orphaned and worked from a very young age, receiving very minimal teaching by way of a formal education. Now in a new world where former slaves were now considered “people”, Sarah (who eventually took on the name Madam C.J. Walker after her husband Charles Joseph Walker, with deriving the French title of Madam for beauty pioneers) noticed a lack of products for hair and skincare for the African-American community. She eventually began her own line of products, starting her own business and selling door-to-door while teaching other women how to care for their own hair. As her business expanded, she employed and provided education programs targeted to helping black women achieve economic independence. She took advantage of her position as a prominent business woman to give back to her community, playing a prominent role in creating leadership opportunities for other African Americans and even joining the executive board of the NAACP. She was quite philanthropic and donated thousands to charities and orphanages, among other endeavors. Days after reading this chapter, a miniseries on Sarah’s life premiered on Netflix, with Octavia Spencer portraying Madam C.J. Walker.

This book had plenty of other great women’s stories, and I hope they all get their due in the future. They say there’s nothing but reboots and remakes in Hollywood now. With all the talent in tinseltown now, combined with the contents of this book… there’s potential for years’ worth of Academy Awards, Tonys, and stardom. These women are worthy of a legacy.

lookatthematerial
“Viva La Flav.”Flavor of Love. Starring Flavor Flav. 12 March 2006. VH1.

 

 

Mallory’s Monthly Reads: February!

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I read four books this month! I am grateful for the extra day of this month; while it is technically one-2 days shorter than the average month, it is a Leap Year! Leap Day William gave me an extra day to finish the last book of the month before he vanishes back into the ocean for another four years.

leapdaywilliam
Image from Tumblr. Leap Day. “30 Rock.” NBC. 23 Feb. 2012

I think that my reading strategy might need a reboot; I feel like I didn’t enjoy the last book of the month as much because I was so focused on finishing it today. Nevertheless, I DID finish it today, but I think that I should make more of an effort to read daily and finish each book at a more leisurely pace.

1. The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. This was one of the books frequently mentioned by the zen social media influencers I follow (the ones who seem to live their lives by waking up to a beautiful coastal sunrise, doing yoga, eating a smoothie bowl, reading and exploring their coast of choice, then having a vegan potluck, repeat for eternity with bits of poetry thrown in for good measure). I like poetry, so I figured I’d give this book a read! It’s a series of prose poetry fables in which the prophet Al Mustafa has lived in the city of Orphalese for a dozen years, and when a ship finally arrives to take him on his way, the townspeople ask for his wisdom on all parts of life. He delivers them and thanks them for what they have taught him. He provides straightforward answers on the big questions: how to live, how to love, what is evil, what is good. I thought a lot of the ideals professed by the eponymous prophet were beautiful yet simple, but felt one passage was a bit like victim-blaming: “Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.” I guess it depends on where this is applied. You can complain your day away or you can go out there and continue to be your best despite when the world wants to cut you down and make you feel small.

youreyoursolution
Bridesmaids. Dir Paul Feig, performances by Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig. Apatow Productions and Relativity Media, 2011.

A few significant quotes I liked:

“And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.”

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”

“And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.”

2. No Lifeguard on Duty: The Accidental Life of the World’s First Supermodel by Janice Dickinson. I fell down a rabbit hole of “America’s Next Top Model” reruns, in which Janice Dickinson was a frequent judge. Brutally honest for better or worse, Janice was offered the opportunity to judge by Tyra Banks after Tyra read this book. Janice was indeed one of the first models to really conquer the world with her beauty, though her story is not one of infinite glitz and glamour. She came from a broken family and endured a series of failing relationships and alcoholism. Her beauty was not immediately recognized in her time, as the world was enjoying the trend of skinny American blondes. Her tenacity was eventually rewarded and soon she became, in her words, the world’s first supermodel (though this is debated, as others before her time had been given the term “supermodel” even if not famously). Her story is funny, if a bit sad. She reminds me of Rose McGowan and Leah Remini (both of whom wrote memoirs I’ve read in the past two years). Beauty abounds, but what’s truly arresting is their fierce strength.

Image from Google Images. “America’s Next Top Model.” The CW .

Quotes I liked:

“The funny thing is, most people don’t even know what makes them happy. I mean, seriously. Think about it. Ask yourself what makes you happy. Friendship? Good sex? A hot car? Health? Money? Freedom? And when something makes you happy, does it really make you happy for any length of time?”

“Being upset never did shit for anyone. Being angry, on the other hand—that could work wonders. If you used it right.”

“I don’t need another person to complete me, amigo. I need to complete myself. And I don’t need another person to make me happy; I need to make myself happy.”

3. Open Book by Jessica Simpson. A new release from a woman I consider to be a game-changer, Jessica Simpson was the first celebrity whose career I really watched almost from the beginning. She was introduced as a sort of antithesis to the sexy images that Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears had begun to cultivate in the late nineties (as she details in the book, Jessica was part of the group to audition for “The Mickey Mouse Club” and promptly choked after having to follow Christina’s audition). What started as touring the Bible Belt with gospel sets turned into a full-fledged pop music career and one of the first ever reality show series with “Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica”. Despite her vocal talents and on-camera ease (she was very much in on the dumb-blonde jokes at her expense, whether we knew it or not), it became clear that all anyone cared about was her looks. From her “Dukes of Hazzard” body to an unfortunate spiral from a bad-angle viral photo of her in “Mom jeans,” Jessica experienced vitriol from EVERYONE. Between her relationships with various men and relationships with her own self image, Jessica has been to the brink of the abyss and back, coming out stronger and more at peace with herself now than ever. I laughed and cried listening to her tell her stories. She had an unfortunate homophobic rumor spread about her when she was younger, and while I think her experience was much worse than mine, something similar had happened to me. I wished I could’ve pulled 11 year old Jessica Simpson and 11 year old me into a group hug. She inspires me that even on your worst days, if you keep pushing through it, what you’ll get in the long run will be worth it’s weight in gold (for Jessica, literally: she had to pay crazy alimony to her ex-husband, but made it all back, in her words, “give or take a billion”).

This was my month’s “Audible” contribution, but this time I had the forethought to quickly scribble random notes indicating lines I liked while driving. Funnily enough, the ones I saved were all lines from other people that inspired her!
“The best competition is always our own selves.” –Celine Dion

“I know it is hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It’s all a part of the process of exploration and discovery. It’s all part of taking a chance and expanding man’s horizons. The future doesn’t belong to the faint-hearted, it belongs to the brave.” — US President Ronald Reagan, when addressing the nation after the Challenger explosion

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell

4. I’m Fine… And Other Lies by Whitney Cummings. I don’t know how it happened, but one of Whitney Cummings’ stand-up bits popped up in my “autoplay” on Youtube. I found myself laughing and realizing “Oh, this is the woman everyone has been telling me about forever!” I feel like my friends, podcasts, and every other mass media source told me “WATCH THIS GIRL. SHE IS FUNNY.” Her book had come up in my Amazon recommends, and I figured that was enough of a sign from the universe! Her book is full of stories, ranging from horrifying doctors visits to dating pro-tips. As the book went on, I realized that she ended almost every chapter with some way of phrasing (and including the phrase) “I’m fine.” She’s not fine. I think she’s been through a lot, from toxic relationships with her family, boyfriends, and herself. It made me appreciate the fact that I met Aaron so soon. I didn’t have to deal with literal psychopaths for boyfriends. Either that or Aaron is a very convincing psychopath. But where would HE be hiding a drug problem or a second family? If it ever happens, I’ll return here with an explanation for such a wildly convincing bamboozle. Whitney does admit that she knows that she isn’t fine, but that that’s okay. She’ll get there. I think that’s what we’re all doing, consciously or not: we’re not okay, but for the most part, a lot of us try to get there.

Quotes I liked:

“Alcoholism doesn’t just apply to cartoon bums pounding bourbon from brown paper bags, it can be used to describe overusing anything to anesthetize discomfort: eating, drinking, fighting, cheating, gambling, worrying, shopping, or in my case, controlling. And by controlling, I mean micromanaging circumstances so everyone is comfortable so there’s no conflict. Why? So I can feel safe, ya silly goose. This behavior kept me safe as a child, but made me annoying as an adult.”

“Turns out jokes are like knives. You can use them to cook a beautiful meal or to straight-up stab people.”

“Protecting people from the aftermath of their choices isn’t thoughtful or benevolent; it just takes away their ability to grow.”

I think this month I want to make my reads almost entirely based on health and wellness, so I can keep my eyes on the prize vis-à-vis my promise to commit to certain resolutions this month. That said, I downloaded a rather famous memoir about a writer from the nineties who struggled with substance abuse… so maybe if I consider it as a what NOT to do, that will count? I kind of want a theme for each month of reading now. Aaron thinks that one of the “themes” should be fiction, since I tend to read memoirs and self-care stories and rarely dabble in fiction. I have TV for that, though!

For now, it’s thirty minutes until the new month. I will be 1/6 of the way through the year. To quote “The Prophet,”

“Ready am I to go, and my eagerness with sails full set awaits the wind.”

Mallory’s Monthly Reads – January!

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It’s February 1st! I completed three books this month and started another two. I’m hoping I can finish four books this month. In the meantime, here are the three books I read this month:

1. Settle for More by Megyn Kelly. After seeing “Bombshell,” I decided to take a closer look at Megyn Kelly’s story. I had remembered her from her role as a reporter during the 2016 election and her involvement in the Roger Ailes scandal, and I wanted to know a bit more about her. “Settle for More” is her memoir of her life from her childhood up to 2016. Turns out, there’s more to her than a blonde former Fox News Correspondent. This is a woman who came from a middle class New York family, encountered bullying from her peers all the way through her life, and, I was shocked to see this, started out as a lawyer. She had wanted to go into journalism from the get-go, but wound up as a workaholic attorney for one of the top law firms in Chicago. One fateful guitar group class led her to someone who worked for the local news station, and from there she transitioned into becoming a correspondent (who initially tried out for CNN). A lot of people think of her as a dim-witted Republican nightmare, but she says in her book that she’s never felt fully aligned to either of the larger popular political parties. Fair enough.
Her show on Fox News had some of the highest ratings for the network, but I’ll admit, her transition to NBC wasn’t great, and didn’t last long. That said, I have a smidgen of a bone to pick with her being fired: she defended a “Real Housewife” for dressing up as Diana Ross for Halloween, and was then terminated for her comments. But the Real Housewife, who actually DID the costume (the controversy came from using blackface), is still on the payroll. Make it make sense, fellas.

Here’s a few quotes I liked from her book:
“If you force a woman to choose between her work and her child, and she has any choice at all, she will choose her child. And then you will lose her, and all the money you’ve spent training her, which you will then have to spend again on a new person, when the cycle will likely continue unless you hire all men or postmenopausal women, which happens to be illegal.”

“Being tested by different viewpoints in my life, being sometimes offended or occasionally hurt, or even targeted, is a big part of what prepared me for the challenges I’ve faced in my career—especially this past year. I had done the grueling sit-ups and my core was strong. I could withstand some gut punches.”

“That’s the bedrock of the First Amendment—the answer to speech you do not like is not less speech, it’s more speech.”

As well, her book title comes from this Doctor Phil quote: “The only difference between you and someone you envy is, you settled for less.”
Damn, that hits.

2. The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry by Jon Ronson. After seeing Jon Ronson’s Ted Talk on this subject, I jumped at the chance to read this book. In this book, Jon Ronson meets with Scientologists, psychiatrists, and some “real life” psychopaths to determine what, or who, really defines a psychopath. In his book, he details taking a psychopath-spotting course, including the twenty-or-so qualifiers of a psychopath as a sort of quiz, in which if you score above a 25 (I believe that was the number) you’re a psychopath. He mentions that if  you, the reader, are nervous or scared of being a psychopath, you aren’t one. That was a relief, although I took the quiz and scored a 13. Some of the psychopaths had a reasonable explanation to some of their symptoms (one of them is “delusions of grandeur,” to which he responded “Well, you’ve gotta believe in you!”). A lot of the psychopaths interviewed were current or former successful executives, those whose ability to empathize with the little guy probably, to them, would have slowed down their own success. That said, it’s not a crime to be a jerk, so those guys get some semblance of a pass. The few others that were literal criminals who committed acts of violence, well, they’re in jail (or avoiding their home country for fear of being put in jail). This was a truly fascinating read!

A few good quotes:

“You have to feel sorry for psychopaths, right? If it’s all because of their amygdalae? If it’s not their fault?” “Why should we feel sorry for them?” he replied. “They don’t give a shit about us.”

“If you take loving kindness out of the human brain, there’s not much left except the will to win.”

“There is no evidence that we’ve been placed on this planet to be especially happy or especially normal. And in fact our unhappiness and our strangeness, our anxieties and compulsions, those least fashionable aspects of our personalities, are quite often what lead us to do rather interesting things.”

3. Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators by Ronan Farrow. This one was especially hard to read. It was actually a book I read with Audible, so I won’t have any quotes for it (I chiefly listened while driving to and from work). It detailed the process of investigating and exposing the treachery and horror of Harvey Weinstein. It was a really infuriating read, as Ronan detailed this pattern of Harvey’s team of secret agents and PR mavens “catching” a story about a victim of his and then “killing” it. This person and his army of lawyers and PR specialists buried every opportunity for the truth to come out with phone calls, threats, harassment, and the destruction of careers. It was especially hard to hear Ronan go to NBC News with interviews, recordings, and witnesses, only for NBC executives to squash the story, citing that the evidence didn’t meet their standards (THEY HAD AUDIO OF HARVEY WEINSTEIN ADMITTING IT. WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN.). It was even harder to hear that because there was never any written reports of Matt Lauer’s harassment incidents, the story that led to his termination was the first tangible evidence even though it was apparently an open secret within the network. NBC was the company that paved the way for so many women in television, and it broke my heart to see that even now some executives ignored the obvious abuse of women in the name of money. I still think NBC is one of the greatest companies in the world, despite a few terrible, shameful choices. I still want to lead the company, and clearly, they would benefit from having even more women leaders. I humbly volunteer.

I’m hoping that this month’s reads will be a little bit lighter. I’m still not sure what I’m going to read, as the two books I started were a book about clearing your mind and finding inner peace, and a book that is considered one of the first to truly discuss modern feminist issues. Sounds great! Not super happy, though. We shall see!