Category: My Musings

Stuck In My Head: Music on Repeat this Week

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Halfway through the month, and we’re on high alert for returns to normalcy vis a vis: COVID-19. More and more it’s appearing that slowly, different states will open up their businesses, public spaces, and more as death tolls and diagnosis counts decrease. However, this is predicted for the beginning of next month, leaving us in lockdown mode for another two weeks, give or take.

I have been coping the best I can, by thinking positively and enjoying the upsides: no plans to make (or cancel), no need to wear makeup, and I get to spend most of my time with Aaron or with our cats. As well, I’ve been enjoying the extra time spent writing!

Between the poetry of the month and the indoor, at-home workouts, I’ve added some new music, particularly in the past week, to my daily lineup. It ranges from the calm, morning yoga flow songs, to the punchy, race-to-the-finish line jams, with a couple of “in my feelings” tunes thrown in to massage my creative muscles.

1. Mirror Lake – Angus MacRae. I heard this song in a very touching scene of the show “Fleabag.” It’s soft piano and ideal for Savasana.

2. Mystery of Love – Sufjan Stevens. Another quieter piece, a “remixed” version of this song appeared in my autoplay recently. It’s inspired a few poems this month. It’s also inspired me to watch “Call Me By Your Name” this weekend. I read the book and loved it last year, and I think I’ll love the movie, too.

3. Blinding Lights – The Weeknd. This song is a perfect way to transition your eighties bops to your 21st-century bops. I’m pretty sure if you took it’s backing track and added it beneath the lyrics to “Take on Me” by A-Ha, it’d be an astonishing mashup. You know. If done RIGHT.

4. Boss B*tch – Doja Cat. I’m not sure how I found this song. It could have been TikTok? Have I mentioned TikTok here? Whoooo boy. It’s a whole other world down there. Anyway, Doja Cat exploded onto the scene last year but I’ve only just caught onto it. Her breakout song “Say So” was everywhere, and this follow-up was on the soundtrack for the Harley Quinn movie that came out this year. It’s very good for walking around like you own this place, whether this place is your bathroom putting on your makeup, or starting up your morning workout.

5. Creep – Michelle Branch. Technically, she didn’t write this song, it’s a cover of a Radiohead song. I still love the Radiohead version, but something about this version is even more… creepy. It’s helped me get into a darker headspace when writing. I kind of love it. I found it in a trailer for “You,” which I’ve discussed at length here.

6. Get You the Moon – Kina, feat. Snow. This WAS introduced to me by TikTok. To condense it: TikTok is a video sharing app, only you share micro videos that last no longer than a minute or so. People upload based on various trends that circle the app. A fairly recent one was dropping glitter (or other aesthetically pleasing things) in slow motion while this song’s hook played in the background. Sometimes it was done ironically with silly things, but the song was still pretty to me.

7. Freedom! ’90 – George Michael. I regularly jam out to this when I’m putting away the dishes. I will scream along to the chorus with reckless abandon. I just wanna be Naomi Campbell. I also want to remake this music video with modern supermodels, but I think there’s no need to mess with perfection. Also, so few can hold a candle to the original icons.

8. Show Yourself – Idina Menzel and Evan Rachel Wood. This song plays at the climax of “Frozen 2,” and it’s a fan favorite from the movie. I won’t spoil it, but part of it makes me cry tears of joy. Sometimes I work out to it, sometimes I just listen to it and cry. Depends on the day.

9. My Oh My (feat. DaBaby) – Camila Cabello. For a while, my favorite song to repeat over and over was Camila’s first huge hit, “Havana.” I also broke the “replay” button on her duet with Shawn Mendes last year, “Senorita.” This song is equally catchy, fun, and good for either working out or giving yourself a kiss while doing your makeup. You really ARE that cute.

10. Lay All Your Love on Me – ABBA. Another bop I’ve known for years, but it’s recently started popping up when I listen to showtunes. I think it’s a great song to work out to, put away dishes, or fantasize about declaring your love for your man while running around the beaches of Greece. Also Meryl Streep is there. Gosh, what a fun movie that was.

I think your mood can be altered instantly with the right music. It can turn a frown upside down, or put you in touch with your soul in the moments you need it most. In times like these, when all we have is ourselves, “if music be the food of love, play on.”

 

^That’s a “Twelfth Night” reference.

Naming the Enemy: My Love of Chocolate

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Today is Easter Sunday! On this day, this one dude everyone liked pulled the biggest prank of all time by COMING BACK TO LIFE. Or something. I don’t know. I’m Jewish.

While things are at the bare minimum today because of all the lockdown regulations, the few times I’ve made it to the store, I’ve seen the pastel paint, the flower decorations, and yes, the Easter candy. While I haven’t been able to really enjoy Easter as a Jewish woman, I will say: Cadbury eggs are pretty neat. I haven’t had one in years but that filling is FUN.

Anyway, considering this holiday and my classic journey to a healthier lifestyle, I thought it might be a good idea to name my closest “frenemy”: chocolate.

lutzchocolate
Image from Google/CityTV. “Nothing Left to Lose.” 30 Rock. Lauren Gurganous & Nina Pedrad. 5 April 2012. NBC.

Chocolate and I go way back. Halloween candy, comfort in Cathy cartoons, and a hand to hold on happy and sad occasions. We’ve had our good days, like cocoa powder in breakfast smoothies and treating myself to dairy free cookie dough, but we’ve also seen “I’m going to eat this entire bag of Hershey Kisses because no one’s around to stop me” days. It seems like chocolate and I are the best of friends and the greatest of foes.

I find myself so often hating myself for eating chocolate, but I think that the more I punish myself, the worse it gets. So rather than look at chocolate as something negative, today I will be praising this delicious treat. Thus, I give you: my favorite ways to eat chocolate.

  1. Hershey Nuggets. What is it about these bad boys that makes me so giddy? Perhaps it’s that they’re so small, the sweetness has nowhere else to go. I also really like the silver wrapping. I like the shiny aesthetic.
  2. Chocolate Chip Cookies. This has only really taken form in the past year. I blame my office cafeteria, which regularly has soft, thick chocolate chip cookies. As well, I’ve been to Levain Bakery in NYC twice in the past year, and I literally almost bought a ticket to NYC a few weeks ago for the sole purpose of getting one of those cookies. I’ve baked them twice in quarantine.

    cookiemonster
    Image from Giphy. It’s Cookie Monster. I can only presume it’s from Sesame Street.
  3. Brownies. Any and all context. I don’t bake them enough, because Aaron’s more of a cookie guy, but if you put them in any flavor of ice cream, I’m listening.

  4. M&M’s. Maybe I like that it’s got the same letter as my name, maybe I like how easy and fun they are to eat, or maybe I love the memory of shotgunning M&M minis in the checkout line of the grocery store with my mom. Whomst can say. All I *can* say is that I would love to, one day, have a photoshoot where I am photographed in a bathtub filled with M&Ms.
    mms
    Image from Giphy. Vintage M&M’s Commercial.
  5. Nutella. Nutella. Nutella. I’ve just met a girl named Nutella, and suddenly that name will never be the same to me… I love West Side Story and this cocoa hazelnut spread. I will put Nutella on anything. Pancakes, toast, bananas, strawberries, ice cream… I cannot, nor will I ever, be stopped. I have told myself that when I decide to (if I am blessed with the ability to) bear a child, I will be the most healthy pregnant woman, eating for two only the healthiest and purest substances on earth. I still intend to do that… save for Nutella. Maybe I’ll find an organic, vegan version that is less artificial, but even then, this substance will forever be a part of my life. I’m against a Nutella free life, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.nutellaspread
  6. Frosting. I completely blame this on Jeffree Star. Jeffree enjoys eating fast food and frosting straight from the carton, because he has a metabolism higher than Mt. Everest. I however, would put my metabolism somewhere between the Marianas Trench and where the Titanic shipwreck currently lies. Hence, he has toothpick legs, so much so that you could use them to skewer my cocktail weenie legs.

    via GIPHY

  7. Donuts. If I had to eat myself to death, it would be with donuts. There is this one chocolate filled donut at Dunkin that makes me feel happy. A lot of times, the average person probably thinks “Oh, I shouldn’t eat this, I don’t need it,” when they eat a donut. I am one of those people, except for this donut. The first time I ate this donut I thought to myself “Wow, I am very happy I ate this.” I love donuts.donut
  8. Reeses Cups. It was the winter of 2018, when something inside of me snapped and suddenly I had eaten an entire bag of fun sized Reeses cups. It was not fun, and yet, I cannot be stopped when it comes to a Reeses Cup. I love Reeses Cups.

    galgadotreeses
    What? This clip of me eating a Reeses Cup on Jimmy Fallon? Wow, I’m breathtaking. Just kidding, it’s Wonder Woman Gal Gadot. Click the image for the clip in full.
  9. Smores. I know I already said Hershey’s earlier, but Smores hit on another level. It’s a sandwich from heaven. My two favorite desserts are Smores and Key Lime Pie!

    10. I feel like I could say I saved the best for last, because I would combine any of these with the coup de grace that is:

  10. Oreos. The cream. The cookie. Dip it in some milk. Swipe some frosting on it. Dunk it in Nutella. You get the idea. Oreos are my life. I love Oreos. I… love them.

    oreoscolbert
    Stephen Colbert having an emotional breakdown… but with exquisite taste.

National Chocolate Day is October 28 this year, and International Chocolate Day is July 7. I might have to revisit this entry on either or both of those days. Until then, my dear sweet chocolate: I love you. Forever.

 

Escapril – How I Write

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It’s April! I’m ready for some showers to bring May flowers. This time last year, I participated in a 30 Day Writing challenge called “Escapril.” It basically involves writing a poem every day for the month of April to celebrate National Poetry Month. I had so much fun participating in 2019 so I was eager to do so again this year! This time around I’m facing different challenges but also experiencing different strengths. For instance, last year I struggled to find motivation to write, and this year so far, on more than one occasion (or prompt), I’ve been writing bits and pieces of three poems’ worth of content, and have to narrow down what I like best! Last year I was teaching myself basic editing on Photoshop, because I liked to add a certain aesthetic to each concept. This year I’m playing more with colors and shapes to make it look a bit more clean. That extra step makes it feel both more authentic, and more concrete!

Here are a few tips I’ve found have made a difference in what and how I write:

1. Find your mood. There’s no right or wrong way to feel when writing. Your art should be a reflection of what’s coursing through your veins. Don’t try to force an emotion. If you’re feeling angry, write angry. If you’re feeling happy, write happy. I find that breaking down that filter is the best way to get yourself in the right frame of mind to create. It’s relatively easy to pull back if you go too far, and even that is rarely necessary. Don’t be afraid of what you feel. Breathe it in and grab a pen (or a computer, or your phone… you get it).

2. Find your motivation. Luckily enough, I have a list of prompts to work off of for “Escapril.” What I get out of step 1 helps with step 2; it’s not enough to have a prompt, you need to find how you connect to it. If the prompt is love, what does your mood tell you? Do you love love? Do you think it’s a curse? What do you feel? Why?

3. Stay in it… however you can. I free associate too easily, so I can look at a prompt and reconnect it to something that’s familiar. For example, this week one of my prompts was “Obsession.” My first thought was “You,” which I coincidentally am obsessed with now. With that, I turned on a playlist inspired by the main character, who in turn inspired the poem. Having that extra layer of motivation helps supercharge my brain, and really tap into the subject. Turn on music. Draw it out first. The rest will come more naturally than you think.

4. Remember it’s what you write. Not what others think of what you write. Yoko Ono is currently sitting in a billion dollar apartment in the greatest city in the world after spending the majority of her professional life being hated for what she put into her art. Do you think she cares what the critics think? While getting a second opinion to help you can be beneficial, it shouldn’t be the be-all, end-all. If you rely too much on other people to better channel your thoughts, your thoughts might not even become your thoughts at all. No matter if you’re a musician, painter, writer, actor, dancer, criticism from other people should play a small role in what you create. At the end of the day, all that matters is what you think of your art… unless your art is illegal. Break art laws. Not real laws. Punching a pedestrian in the mouth without their consent is not an art piece. Your criticism should be all that makes a difference to you.

5. With item 4 in mind… take criticism seriously. If you’re not going to look at your work and think “Oh, I could say this instead,” or “This phrase could be better,” then you won’t grow as an artist. Granted, if you can look at what you’ve written and think “Oh, this is perfect,” then I salute you. Personally, there are plenty of times where I’ve gotten it right on the first try, but there have been plenty more times where I haven’t quite nailed it, and going back and fixing a few things has brought my thoughts to a new level! It all goes back to my first point: use your thoughts. If your brain is telling you, “what about THIS metaphor,” give it a try. Who knows? You may hate it and find that what you wrote in the first place was perfect after all.

I am not legitimately published, nor am I an expert. I’m just an English major.

I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to read Jane Austen, and then I didn’t.

— John Mulaney, “Kid Gorgeous”

I have no clout whatsoever, but this has been my approach, and save for the cripplingly low self-esteem that I think clouds the mind of anyone who creates anything, I feel good about what I make. I feel even better knowing that the more I create, the more I learn, both about myself and the craft of writing (yeah, I said it. CRAFT. C R A F T. SEE ITEM 4, LOSERS).

I hope if you’re reading this, you’ll take some time for you and create something today. You never know what can happen!

Mallory’s Monthly Reads – Bygone Badass Broads

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As I mentioned in my previous entry, I didn’t manage to finish any books last month. That said, I got halfway through one, and more than 80% of the way through another. The former was Prozac Nation, which I liked but it was very depressing. The latter was Bygone Badass Broads: 52 Forgotten Women Who Changed the World by Mackenzi Lee. Lee’s book was an anthology about incredible women throughout time who aren’t as well known as Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Cleopatra, or Gloria Steinhem. In the process of reading this book, I learned about a bunch of awesome women that I had never known existed! Here’s just three of the women mentioned in the book who blew me away:

  1. Khutulun: Here’s an obscure “Parks and Rec” reference: When Leslie is invited to an event ceremony for women in government, she is accompanied to the luncheon by April, who fangirls over a Mongolian woman named Khongordzol, who grew up in a hut of ice and mud, only to then become her town’s mayor, police chief, and top wolverine wrangler.

    iloveyou
    “London”.Parks and Recreation, written by Michael Schur. 26 September 2013. NBC.

    Khutulun didn’t wrangle wolverines, but she was still pretty badass. She was the daughter of one of Mongolia’s most powerful leaders. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, as Khutulun was an equally fierce warrior. She fought alongside other soldiers, and demanded that any man who wanted to marry her should be able to defeat her in wrestling. If they couldn’t defeat her, they owed her horses. It is said that by the end of her life she had had over ten thousand horses. She remained undefeated in wrestling, but did eventually marry a handsome man (though not much is known about him). Marco Polo was a huge fanboy of hers, being one of the few to document her story.

  2. King Christina of Sweden: Christina became queen at the age of six. Yes. She was the apple of her father (the king’s) eye, and he made sure that his daughter would inherit the throne if anything were to happen to him before she had the chance to properly transition into the role. Christina was educated as though she were a royal male, learning multiple languages, studying hours a day, and impressing all with her wit. She was a great patron of the arts and even performed in plays. She was very anti-womanly pleasures, like becoming a wife and subservient to a man. That said, she had a very close female friend who may have been (definitely was) a romantic partner. Christina’s refusal to marry, along with her frivolous spending and provocative behavior, contributed to her eventually abdicating the throne and converting to Catholicism. She was then exiled, but she eventually returned to Sweden before settling in Italy. She lived a life of scandal and rebellion, but is one of the few women buried in the Vatican after being so beloved by multiple popes. Maybe it’s just because she was in a movie called Vicki Christina Barcelona, but I kind of want to see Scarlett Johansson play her in a movie.

    scarjo
    Hail Caesar! Directed by Ethan and Joel Coen. Performances by Scarlett Johansson, Josh Brolin, and George Clooney. Universal Pictures, 2016.
  3. Sarah Breedlove (Madam C.J. Walker): Sarah was America’s first female billionaire. Born the first free child into a family of slaves, Sarah was orphaned and worked from a very young age, receiving very minimal teaching by way of a formal education. Now in a new world where former slaves were now considered “people”, Sarah (who eventually took on the name Madam C.J. Walker after her husband Charles Joseph Walker, with deriving the French title of Madam for beauty pioneers) noticed a lack of products for hair and skincare for the African-American community. She eventually began her own line of products, starting her own business and selling door-to-door while teaching other women how to care for their own hair. As her business expanded, she employed and provided education programs targeted to helping black women achieve economic independence. She took advantage of her position as a prominent business woman to give back to her community, playing a prominent role in creating leadership opportunities for other African Americans and even joining the executive board of the NAACP. She was quite philanthropic and donated thousands to charities and orphanages, among other endeavors. Days after reading this chapter, a miniseries on Sarah’s life premiered on Netflix, with Octavia Spencer portraying Madam C.J. Walker.

This book had plenty of other great women’s stories, and I hope they all get their due in the future. They say there’s nothing but reboots and remakes in Hollywood now. With all the talent in tinseltown now, combined with the contents of this book… there’s potential for years’ worth of Academy Awards, Tonys, and stardom. These women are worthy of a legacy.

lookatthematerial
“Viva La Flav.”Flavor of Love. Starring Flavor Flav. 12 March 2006. VH1.

 

 

Falling Not Failing: My 2020 Resolutions

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I am feeling quite disappointed in myself today. It is March 31st, with a new month on the horizon, and I REALLY missed the mark on my 2020 resolutions this month. I’d love to blame it on the lockdown and social distancing, but as Brit Hume once said, “Winners take responsibility. Losers blame others.”

I think today I want to look at my resolutions and reflect on why I didn’t meet my goals. This hurts me more than it hurts you, dangit!
1. Read 52 books – I started two books this month, and finished none. I decided to make all my books this month to be about women, by women, for women. I feel like a bad feminist for not getting this done.

via GIPHY. Saturday Night Live. “Weekend Update.” 2017. Performances by Tina Fey, Michael Che, and Colin Jost. Produced by Lorne Michaels.
2. Do pull ups – I spent the first half of this month tackling this head on, but then COVID happened, and my gym closed. Unfortunately, all my doors are too tall for me to place a pull-up bar in the doorway. I’ve been working my arms, back and shoulders doing home workouts to split the difference, but I’m not sure how effective it is.
3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING – This got SO much worse! You’d think with all the time at home I’d spend more time that I now have on more creative endeavors. No. BIG swing and a miss.
4. Write 104 blog posts – I managed to keep this one going!
5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021 – Assuming this lockdown doesn’t last until December, all is still well here.
6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – While there weren’t any intense rabbit holes, I definitely poked my head in more than once.
7. Take better care of my skin – My skin looks good! The skincare I have seems to be working for now.
8. Go stargazing – Haven’t gone yet. Too cold. COVID curfew.
9. Get a new job – In the beginning of the month, I churned out applications to each job I mildly had the ability to do well. I need to keep this up, but I think my timeframe isn’t as realistic with the whole world in a big freeze.
10. Do a handstand – I hope I can keep working on my upper body strength to pull this off, but I’ve also found a new way to work up to this goal.
11. Go see two of my favorite performers – Broadway shows are on hold during the lockdown. If we’re not out by July, and I miss my Hamilton date, I will riot.
12. Lose weight – No change at all, between me doing well and then cancelling it out with bad habits.
13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – My brain has hatched a few ideas for this.
14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter, and granddaughter – I made a lot of effort towards this goal. I am adjusting pretty well to this lockdown, but a lot of my friends are going stir crazy and anxious. I think I’ve done a good job of being present for them. I went home and surprised my family with a visit this past weekend and I think that made a big difference! I’ve been working to strike a balance of being there for my friends who need it, while also giving Aaron quality time. However, I only called my grandfather once in the past two weeks. He and my grandmother don’t have company with them right now at all because none of us want to accidentally give them the sickness, and I can’t believe that I didn’t make more time to call them or write them or something.
15. Be happy – In general, this month was okay, but I definitely feel crummy today. I had a rough start to my morning and things didn’t get much better from there.

I know I will feel better when I’ve accomplished my goals. I feel so tired at the end of the day that I just want to do nothing. I just stare at my phone until I get up and go to bed. I hate feeling so numb to the world, and I know that when I have kids I’ll have to spend that time in the evening checking homework and doing carpool and providing my kids with love and attention, while still being a good supportive wife and sharing some of that time to just be with Aaron.

I want to take this as a learning opportunity to shift towards a more promising way to get past these bigger missteps:

  1. Read 52 books. I will read these books. I bought them and I will finish them. To that effect, I will have something to write about as far as my monthly reads for March. Coming soon! In April, I will be focusing mainly on poetry. Poetry collections aren’t really three hundred pages of tiny type, they’re more nuanced but shorter. When I finish my four books this month, I hope I can revisit at least one of these books.
  2. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING. I need to enable a rule about this. Maybe a few. Here’s a challenge: I can only scroll from sunrise to sunset. No more spending hours in bed scrolling!
  3. Stop engaging in schadenfreude. In my bouts of schadenfreude, I never felt satisfied. I recognized (and then stopped) in the moment, “Hang on a second, this isn’t making me happy.” I felt frustrated or angry. I need to let it go.
  4. Lose weight – I am at an unhealthy weight. Forget looks, I don’t feel good. I feel sluggish and weak. I need to put more stock into what I eat and how I keep active.
  5. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter, and granddaughter – I will contact them twice a week every week in April.

I am a big believer in “there is no failure, only failure to try.” I have not abandoned my resolutions, even if I haven’t done as well with them as I would like. I will fall seven times, but stand up eight!

Will Do I Got This GIF by The New Celebrity Apprentice - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

Be a Fearless Leader: “Election” by Alexander Payne

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Over the weekend, my sister, mother and I settled in for a Saturday night movie together. We opted to watch Election, which had been on my list for a while but I never remembered when looking for something along that line of “high-school/coming-of-age”. I think Election falls more under the category of political satire, but I think it qualifies as both a coming-of-age film and a political satire.

Since a recurring theme in my posts this month has been a topic surrounding women, what with it being Women’s History month, I wanted to vent about this movie. Throughout the movie I could barely contain my eye rolls and disgust at some of the behavior in the film, most of it from Matthew Broderick’s character.

HARK! Spoilers under the cut!

Continue reading “Be a Fearless Leader: “Election” by Alexander Payne”

COVID-19: An International Reality

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Last Sunday I hopped online to document the latest information/thoughts on COVID-19, or the “Coronavirus.” Cases in America are rising, though things seem to be deescalating in other countries. That said, things are deescalating because countries are shutting down everything non-essential. Trade from other countries has essentially ceased. Movie theatres are closed until further notice. Everyone is focused on containment. America is doing their best, but there are still plenty of people partying it up down here for Spring Break. Meanwhile, my company is going full-remote, with only the absolute essentials working in office, until April 17.

Image from Giphy. Forgetting Sarah Marshall . Directed by Nicholas Stoller. Performances by Kristin Bell, Jason Segel, Mila Kunis, and Russell Brand. Apatow Productions and Universal Pictures, 2008.

I’m one of the lucky ones, as some people are out of work and headed to the unemployment line so they can keep their lives afloat while their non-essential jobs are placed on hold. It’s overwhelming to think about at times. I don’t know what’s happening with teachers, as public schools are shut down until things clear up more (though some schools are staying open as a shelter and providing food to students in need). It is a truly scary time.

The nation is working hard to keep things moving: the CDC is working ’round the clock to get enough tests and vaccine trials. Money is being injected into the economy to help things from collapsing too much. Local governments are implementing total lockdowns to keep people safe. My own county has a sunrise/sunset curfew, with all restaurants being take out and delivery only.

The masses are reacting in their own way: yelling at people for going outdoors and living life normally (the main exception seems to be that it’s okay to go get takeout from your local small business). Celebrities are having hit-or-miss moments of “doing their part” online.

The hits: John Legend, Shawn Mendes, and Lin-Manuel Miranda, among others, are doing livestream concerts. Jimmy Fallon has been doing his late-night show, to the best of his ability, from his house. Josh Gad (Olaf from “Frozen”) has been reading children’s books on his Instagram. Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, among others, have donated millions to food banks in both the United States and Canada. Though not technically “celebrity,” companies like Disney and NBCUniversal are releasing their movies on Digital Demand and streaming so people can actually enjoy them. Is it probably just a way to not miss out on their box office boons? Sure. And yet, I will benefit. They put “Frozen 2” and “The Invisible Man” on streaming. I’m set.

The misses: Evangeline Lily posted that she dropped her kids off at their extracurriculars and carrying on with her life, because she “values her freedom.” Many people thought that was selfish (to the point that Sansa Stark herself, Sophie Turner, hopped on Instagram live to encourage people to not be selfish and to follow the rules to stay indoors, with a sly dig at Evangeline’s “freedom” values). As well, both Sam Smith and Ellen DeGeneres received criticism this week for sharing their frustrations on social media, essentially saying “We’re all in this together, I’m miserable and feeling trapped too.” I’m pretty sure it’s a lot easier to be trapped in your house when your house is a 7 million dollar mansion with a pool, fitness center, and movie theatre. Simultaneously, much to my dismay, Gal Gadot released an Instagram video of an a capella rendition of “Imagine” (by John Lennon), sung by her and a few other celebrities. Kind of hard to hear “Imagine no possessions” from a multi-millionaire. That’s the kind of thing that led Lennon to be assassinated. My gentle sweet Wonder Woman, no. I know of all things you believe in love, but God bless, this was not it. Still looking forward to “Wonder Woman: 1984.” Love you.

Image from Giphy. “Cooperative Calligraphy.” Community. NBC. 11 November 2010. TV.

A notable phenomenon has been the hypothetical situations that people have posed during this required quarantime. There are two options: you will either emerge having been productive, written that novel, dieted while saving money on your food rations, or eat all your quarantine snacks three days in and spend your time watching Netflix and Hulu, emerging looking like you’re straight out of Wall-E.

I personally want to find my happy medium. I have finished the first season of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” and I’m slated to watch “Stranger Things” tomorrow with a friend. A happy plus: Google Chrome has an extension called “Netflix Party,” where you can share screens and watch movies together. I watched “Confirmed Kills” with two friends yesterday, and have scheduled another “movie night” for next Friday. Fun fun!

That said, I am, again, one of the lucky ones who still has work. I will be spending eight hours a day at work, like normal. That said, things have slowed down somewhat. I can use lulls to read, write, and walk laps around my kitchen. I wish I had a treadmill.

I want to emerge with a tight hair and makeup routine, and know how to add individual lashes. I also kind of want to learn French finally. Polish my Spanish, learn French, basic Italian. I know it sounds ambitious, but they’re saying this quarantine could last until July. That’s over three months! I’m also hoping to get better at home workouts, which have never been my strong suit. I don’t want to live off processed food and lose any healthy habits I actually have.

Iasip Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia GIF from Iasip GIFs

Image from Tenor. “Frank’s Pretty Woman.” It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia . FX. 15 September 2011. TV. 

During this time of isolation, I have no excuse to not indulge in some personal growth and mental development. I should not emerge in a thick wave of cheeto-dust. No matter how tempting that sounds. To quote Thomas Paine, “These are the times that try men’s souls.” To quote Shakespeare’s Richard III, “Now is the winter of our discontent”. To quote Salvador Dali, “Whoa, things are getting so weird that it looks like those clocks are melting.”

Woman Crush Wednesday Part 2: The Second One

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Today is Wednesday, March 18, and COVID-19 has led to the shutdown and lockdown of major cities and public businesses. People across the world are encouraged to stay in their homes and away from crowds. My office is remote for the rest of the week and will likely stay that way until the end of next week. Schools are closing nationwide. Restaurants are serving at half-capacity with a strong preference for delivery and pickup. I went for a quick grocery trip today and the store was clear of paper products, rice, and frozen waffles. Also someone took all the good vegan food, which I think was pretty rude.

That said, one of the biggest patterns we’re seeing is that fitness centers are either at limited hours or completely closed. My gym, for example, is shut down for the rest of the month. I’m getting over being sick, so I haven’t worked out at all since Sunday. That said, I’m ready to get back in the game.

Keeping with the spirit of Women’s History Month, I follow a few fitness/healthy lifestyle influencers that are (or at least, appear to be, I’ve never met them) fun, optimistic, and yes, very much in shape. I’ve seen a few of them release a few “at-home” workouts to keep the spirits (and gains) high. Lack of access to the gym shouldn’t get in the way of your goals!

Here’s a few of my favorite workout women (and a link to a workout that will whoop some butt)!

    • Whitney Simmons. This cutie patootie has been at the top of my list for a WHILE. She has been open about every aspect of her fitness journey, from her life as a high school athlete turned cut from the college team. When I first found her videos she had recently quit her job to pursue Youtube and fitness full-time. She’s since partnered with Gymshark, one of the leading athletic wear companies in the Western hemisphere, including a limited edition line that sold out in minutes, and kickstarted 2020 with the launch of her own fitness app. She is super optimistic and a great role model! She’s also VERY good at makeup, I wish I could do my eyebrows as well as she does.

 

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  • Nikki Blacketter. I first discovered Nikki in my Pinterest account. I thought she looked like the actress who plays Jordan on “Scrubs,” (Christa Miller), and I thought “Wow, how old is this photo?! She’s pretty in “Scrubs” but WOW! Isn’t she in her fifties?! She looks incredible!!” It wasn’t her, but it was Nikki! I fell down a rabbit hole of her videos, and not only is she super fit, but she once competed in weight lifting competitions! She’s also partnered with Gymshark (and considers Whitney a best friend), and is a pretty avid gamer. She also has a fluffy white cat named Max. He seems like a good boy.

 

  • Keltie O’Conner. Oh, Canada! Keltie has played every sport from here to Ontario, and has taken on every fitness challenge out there on Youtube. She wound up on trending after sharing a video of a crazy transformation following Tom Brady’s crazy intense diet (Tom Brady, the football player… married to model turned advocate, Gisele Bundchen. FORESHADOWING). She is a Golden lab in human form, and even when talking about serious topics like mental health, she always has a smile. She ends all her videos with “Go pet a dog!” She spoke recently about feeling crazy anxiety when she first started out on Youtube. Now she’s modeled in Nike ads. A glow up if ever there was one.

 

  • Alexis Ren. They used to call Gisele Bundchen “The Body.” Gisele will forever be the queen, but I would argue that if Gisele is the body of the early 2000s, then Alexis Ren is the body of the mid 2010s. She gained popularity on Tumblr and Instagram, and her popularity exploded when her then-boyfriend Jay Alvarrez shared videos of their desirable travel diaries across the world. Think skydiving, backflips off of cliffs, and yes, blue-ass water. Alexis has since gone on to compete in “Dancing with the Stars,” along with landing the cover of “Maxim” and “Rookie of the Year” award from “Sport’s Illustrated.” She spends most of her time (when not working) traveling and advocating for green environmental causes. Beautiful soul to match the bod!

 

As an added bonus: Allie Michelle, one of the Woman Crush Wednesday of last week’s entry, is offering free classes on meditation and breath-work for the masses trapped at home! Mind and spirit counts just as much as the physical body!

People are concerned about going stir-crazy and getting flabby on the lockdown snacks (it’s me. I’m people. I baked massive cookies last night). These ladies are keeping calm and carrying on, and so should we all!

 

And then the Plague came…

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Earlier this year there were, as they say, “rumblings.” A virus had developed in China, a common cold that seemed more serious than the sniffles. At first people shrugged it off, but not for long. Tourists began arriving from the affected areas into the US and Europe, and soon, COVID-19, or “Coronavirus,” began to present itself across Italy, the UK, and eventually, the US.

Millennials did what we do best: made memes and took advantage of quickly dropping in price international flights. Places that are typically packed with tourists soon became ghost towns.

coronavirusmeme
Taken from KnownYourMeme. Twitter user DijahSB.

Things escalated quickly as more and more cases began appearing in America. The president went from “This is just a more aggressive common cold” to “this is a national emergency and we’re shutting down the borders.”

Over the course of the past three days, companies have put employees on remote work, emptying out offices until further notice. Disney, Universal Studios, and Seaworld are closed until the end of the month. Schools have closed. Hospitals are on high alert. Experts are declaring “social distancing,” IE, everyone stay indoors and don’t interact with anyone until this all ends.

Pharmacies, grocery stores, and anywhere else you can think of are depleted of water, frozen foods, and hand sanitizer. Oh, and toilet paper. For some reason people got into fistfights over toilet paper. I blame Chuck.

supernaturalisthisthefirstgifofsupernaturalonthisbloghowisthatpossible
Image from Giphy. “The End.” Supernatural. The WB/CW. 1 October 2009. TV.

It’s gotten to the point that most of digital society is saying “Take advantage of those shows that you’ve been meaning to watch on Netflix. Don’t go to bars because of the lack of crowds. Don’t risk infecting people.” Jerks like me are only too happy to oblige. That said, it makes me think about all the things I want to enjoy when the “social distance” period ends. I want to walk the Brooklyn Bridge. I want to visit the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston. I want to visit the Riverwalk with Aaron. I can’t wait to go and enjoy public places with people I love. I was one of the people who contemplated “Wait. Buy a cheap flight. Go see ‘Mean Girls’ on Broadway.” or “Go fly to Boston and hang with the girls.” It didn’t last, because I’ve since fallen ill to the actual common cold.

In times like these, I will be nursing myself back to health and expressing gratitude for the fact that I am healthy and able-bodied. People like me will likely recover from coronavirus if infected by treating ourselves to cold medicine and bedrest like any other common cold. Those with heart, lung, or compromised immune system issues do not fare so well. It’s heartbreaking and scary. I am staying indoors and away from the gym until I feel 100% and even when I feel better, I will be sticking to the treadmill until the COVID-19 virus settles.

I am personally looking forward to watching the following:

  • Big Little Lies
  • The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
  • Stranger Things
  • Elite

I will also be finishing up the years of paperwork I need to do, from finishing my Thank You notes, my name-change paperwork, and (ugh) my taxes. I can’t wait.

If you’re reading this, wash your hands, air-hug, and stay indoors. Don’t panic. If everyone does their part, we will all emerge from this wiser and healthy.

wereallgonnadieatlantis
Image from Tumblr. Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise, performances by Florence Stanley, Michael J. Fox, James Garner, Cree Summer, Don Novello, and Phil Morris. Walt Disney/Buena Vista Pictures, 2001.

Women Crush Wednesday

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March is International Women’s History Month! I prefer “Her-story” month, of course. With that in mind, on this Woman Crush Wednesday, I give you five women that I enjoy, appreciate, and aspire to emulate. These are all modern women that I do not know personally, but think are amazing. I’m adding this clarification so I don’t have to give a ten-paragraph essay on why I love my mom.

That’s the Mother’s Day entry right there.

1. Demi Lovato – Demi Lovato is a musician, actress, and mental health advocate. She first rose to popularity when I was a tween and I was a total “Lovatic.” I loved her music and her personality. I always felt like I didn’t fit the standard preppy mold, so seeing her rock Converse and a bomber jacket made me feel cool… and want a bomber jacket. I finally got one last year. Dreams come true. She has been open about her struggles with her own mental health. She went to rehab when I was a junior in high school, but not long after that she began a six-year streak of sobriety. Unfortunately, the people she trusted to keep her safe didn’t do that great a job, and she relapsed and returned to rehab two years ago. She’s since returned to acting with a recurring role on “Will and Grace” (and an upcoming movie called Eurovision with Will Ferrell), and has announced an album, from which she’s released two brutally honest tracks about her life. She is smart, talented, and honestly, funny in a way that only a person who is fully aware of herself can be. I will personally body guard her and pounce on anyone who tries to ruin her day.

“I Love Me” by Demi Lovato via GIPHY

2. Allie Michelle – Allie Michelle is twenty-three and already making a name for herself. She started her journey as a yoga instructor, but has since published two books of poetry and started her own sustainable clothing line. She publishes her journey around the world in Bali, Greece, and all those Eat, Pray, Love places that one girl you went to high school with went to and you look at her Instagram photos and think “Maybe I should go there… flights are eighteen hundred dollars?!” I admire her free spirit, grace, and wisdom.

3. Mindy Kaling – What? Me? A fan of “The Office?” Yes. Mindy Kaling wrote an off the walls off-Broadway play about the lives of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck as they were living in Boston, trying to become actors and writers with her close friend Brenda Withers. It got enough buzz to land Mindy in the office of Greg Daniels, who placed her into the writing staff of the first season of the NBC reboot of “The Office.” Her job quickly became both behind and in front of the camera as audiences developed an affinity for her as the perky Customer Service employee Kelly Kapoor. She published her first book “Is Everyone Having Fun Without Me? and Other Concerns” when I was in college, and I believe I read it all in one sitting (or at the very least, read half of it, let college destroy me for two weeks, and then visited the second half in one sitting). Her second book is called “Why Not Me?” where she details her life post-“The Office” as a woman in Hollywood. The title of the book comes from a question she was asked about her confidence, and how she could believe in herself. She prescribes in the book to work hard, be smart, be brave, and believe you deserve it. That’s my edict to success, thanks to her.

Im Fabulous Mindy Kaling GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

4. Jameela Jamil – A teacher turned Radio 1 Host turned actress turned feminist advocate. True, the majority of her fans fell in love with her as Tahani in “The Good Place.” Now that she has a bit of a platform, she regularly speaks on social justice reform for women, people of color, and people with disabilities. She has been open about her privilege as a slender, traditionally beautiful woman, and is always encouraging body neutrality, a movement in which you do not even consider how you look and instead focus on the things that actually matter: being happy. She has started an Instagram account/mental health movement based on this mentality called #iweigh. She believes photoshopping should be illegal and regularly calls out social influencers for advertising appetite suppressants and detox teas. I genuinely enjoy her as a person. She believes that progress is about learning and relearning what is okay to do and believe in terms of the disenfranchised. She has said that now that she’s put it out there in the world, it’s time to put it into legislation. I’m all on board with less Facetune making me feel terrible about myself. Let’s do it.

 

5. Tina Fey – This woman. Will never. NOT. be on my Woman Crush Wednesday list. SNL head writer, actress, and yes, created “30 Rock” based loosely on her experiences at SNL. People often hail “30 Rock” as one of the greatest television shows of all time. They are not wrong. She is what made me want to work in TV, work at NBC, and thanks to her and maybe Sarah Palin, I stopped feeling like a total uggo in glasses. Thank you, Tina, for paving the way for all of us. And for showing me that wide-frame glasses are a thing. This is a scene from “30 Rock,” in an episode that she did not write, but did win an Emmy for her performance. I suspect it was entirely for 1:35 – 2:20.

I’m so grateful for these, smart, accomplished game-changers. There are many others that I did not mention (GAL GADOT. THIS IS TARGETED AT GAL GADOT) that are equally incredible. Thank you for inspiring me.