Category: TV Shows

Fashion Favorites: Film and TV

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If I hadn’t established so more clearly, I truly enjoy movies and television. Along with that, while I’m not the most stylish person, I do have my style preferences and sense of fashion! The more I grow attached to characters on TV, the more I notice how they carry themselves, and how they’re presented. How a person, or a character on the screen, dresses, says so much about their personality and background. Compare, for example, how Rachel Berry (the perky if naive head of the glee club) dresses in relation to how Santana Lopez (the quick-witted to the point of hostility cheerleader) dresses on the tv show “Glee.”

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Rachel Berry has actually remained a big style inspiration for me. She started off in mostly sweaters with coordinated skirts and flats, but eventually, as she grew up and headed into the world of adulthood and college in NYC, her tastes matured into outfits that were flattering but not provocative, and classically stylish. That’s exactly how I want to dress now!

First, let’s take a look at a few specific outfits/wardrobe choices that have stayed with me, from past and present:

  1. Anastasia’s blue ballgown, from “Anastasia.” I’ve literally put wearing this dress on my bucket list. I loved the tulle cape paired with the elaborate jewelry and long white gloves. Add the sparkly hairclip updo and it’s my favorite look from any animated film.
  2. Robin Scherbatsky’s rehearsal dinner dress from “How I Met Your Mother.” In the final season of “How I Met Your Mother,” Robin gets married (I’ll keep the groom secret in case you’ve never seen it). The whole season takes place over the entire wedding weekend, and as a result, Robin spends two episodes in the most breathtaking gold strapless dress with shiny swirl accents. It’s a design from L’wrenn Scott, and I believe it was from, or at least inspired by, the Autumn/Winter collection she titled “Allegory of Love.” I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t think about this dress. It’s completely out of stock, but I fantasize about finding it one day in a fashion warehouse.
  3. Rebecca Bunch’s Michael Kors handbag, from “My Crazy Ex Girlfriend.” Anna Wintour once said that she rarely carries a handbag. I’m the same way; all I really need when I go somewhere is my phone, since I keep my ID in a pocket on the back of my phone case. That said, a good bag is a good handbag. The moment I saw this bag I realized “My God. I must have that bag.” I’m very anti-leather, and I believe this bag is patent leather. Still, I can recognize a good, everyday purse that can hold sunglasses, a checkbook, and all of your secrets.
  4. Andy Sachs’ black Paris power suit, from “The Devil Wears Prada.” I have such a fondness for this movie! Anne Hathaway’s character Andrea “Andy” Sachs starts out this film with clothes that are presentable, but not stylish. If you’re the assistant to Miranda Priestly, the head of the fashion world, that’s not going to cut it! With the help of art director Nigel Kipling, Andy undergoes a makeover worthy of a Madonna-backed montage. Near the climax of the movie, Andy prepares to go to meet with Miranda while wearing an all black jacket and skirt combination. Nigel comments, “Who put that together for you?” to which Andy admits it was something she picked for herself. Nigel smiles at her with pride, realizing she has come into her own, style wise. I couldn’t agree more.
  5. Renata Klein’s “Women in Power” suit, from “Big Little Lies.” I firmly believe 2018/2019 was the season of Laura Dern. She’s always been incredible, but she received a long and painful term on the Hollywood blacklist after playing a love interest for Ellen Degeneres in an anti-LGBTQ Hollywood. Now that Hollywood has begun to slowly but steadily open its eyes to the possibilities of non-heterosexual relationships, it seems she’s come back stronger than ever in back-to-back iconic performances as Nora Fanshaw in “Marriage Story” and Renata Klein in “Big Little Lies.” Renata Klein had one of the most iconic lines in season two of “Big Little Lies,” as she spits out, through gritted teeth, “I will not, NOT be rich.” The beginning of this season sees her posing in a power suit as iconic as she is, shiny and red. She smiles confidently toward the camera, and that look is the definition of the article for which she’s being featured in: “Women in Power.” I have no use for this power suit yet, but I will find my own version of it when I take my own rightful place as a woman in power. For now, I will live vicariously through Laura Dern, as should we all.

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These were all incredible style choices within the context of each character’s story. A princess, a New York lawyer with taste, a powerful woman. To be fair, all of these women are strong women!

Nowadays, my fashion preferences are a little more lowkey. I’m a big plain white tee shirt with blue jeans kind of girl. I think streetwear fashion is veering more towards the world of less-is-more! That said, I can’t promise to not go full “Devil Wears Prada” when I make it to the big leagues. This is still one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.

 

Lockdown Life: Staying Alive

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It’s been over a month since quarantine began, and people have started to protest and demand that life return to normal. I feel so terrible for the people who have lost their jobs since this started. What’s wild is that the protesters I’ve seen have been demanding people return to work so they can get their hair done, go to restaurants, and socialize again. I don’t see anyone protesting to say they miss their jobs and their paychecks. It feels very privileged. I feel like people don’t realize that people are dying from this thing.

Speaking of privileged, my life hasn’t changed much since the outbreak. As a result, as much as I miss the normalities of being with friends and going to Disney, I’m in a chill bubble and content to sit and wait this out until it’s safe to visit my grandma again. A lot of people are in the same situation for me but are not taking this experience… well.

Rather than talk about my favorite things this month, I want to dedicate this post to the things that are keeping me sane during this quarantine. I am keeping my cool and feeling happy thanks to the following things:

1. Deleted scenes of “The Office.” If it weren’t obvious, my favorite television show of all time is “The Office.” It ended seven years ago (wow), but it’s probably the most watched television series on Netflix. I have probably seen it a hundred times by now, and yes, hundreds seems like a small number, but if I’ve watched the show almost every day for ten years… excuse me, it’s time for me to do math.

Okay, if I’ve watched the show 350 days out of the year, for an hour a day, for ten years, I have watched 3,500 hours of “The Office.” Yikes. But not yikes, because it makes me happy!

As a result, I still love it, but I know the episodes practically by heart. In the past month, particularly in the past week, I’ve found compilations of deleted scenes from the show. It’s like watching the show for the first time all over again! It just brings a smile on my face.

2. Baking. It’s not exactly helping my goal to be healthy, but I’ve been taking the whole “studies say baking relieves stress” theory to heart. I’ve made incredible chocolate chip cookies, dulce de leche cookies, and today, I made fried Oreos! I have plans to make “slutty” brownies (I hate that name. Why did we call them that? You could bring these to your bake sale and then your step-grandparent is all “Wow, these are great! What do you call these?” What do you say to that) this Friday, and when they run out I am making M&M cookies. I feel inspired.

3. “Crazy Ex Girlfriend.” Did I start watching this only three days ago? Yes. Do I want to forsake all other forms of entertainment until I finish it? Yes. This show has everything: musical numbers, Jewish moms, that one Disney prince who CANNOT BE TRUSTED. It’s truly remarkable and funny and I love it and I don’t wanna go to sleep until I finish this season. Unless it ends with a cliffhanger. Gosh I hope it doesn’t end with a cliffhanger.

4. “Couch to 5K.” I am “fittish,” which means I work out a lot and would probably be unstoppable if I cared enough to change my diet to match my healthy tastes. I like to walk the treadmill and get cardio from the elliptical and this “gazelle” machine that’s like a stairmaster/elliptical hybrid. What do those things have in common? They’re cardio machines. I don’t have access to such equipment. To get in my cardio, I started jogging with “Couch to 5K.” It’s about thirty minutes, three times a week, of fresh air and exercise. I get to listen to music and think about everything and nothing. I gotta be honest, it feels great!

5. Writing. Between journaling and “escapril,” I feel so creatively channeled into my mind. I’m being honest without being dark. It’s refreshing!

I feel very lucky to be in a situation where I still have my job (which has been busy as of late), my health, and almost 8 years’ worth of long-distance friendshipping. As the Nutella topping, I have Aaron. Getting to have lunch with him and give him hugs throughout the day makes everything even better. I am feeling so grateful to have him through all of this. I have great people in my life. Them, plus these distractions, are making my life livable.

I hope that people respect the current quarantine limitations. I want everyone to return to their normal, but the more we don’t take the rules seriously, the more exposed we will be to COVID-19, and then we will be in lockdown for months. WAY more months than need be. I hope people find better ways to pass the time than yelling at the doctors treating the patients. Or at least, some self-esteem. The most photographed protesters are people with ugly hair (objectively ugly, like too long or natural roots). Hair isn’t everything. Stay safe, love yourself, and please, stay inside.

Because if anyone messes with my “Hamilton” tickets or my end-of-year cruise I will be forced to riot.

End of Year Favorites

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As I write this, I am seven hours and five minutes away from the new year. The new decade. It’s the new century’s roaring twenties.

With that in mind, I thought I’d compile a list of my favorite things from 2020! Let’s get right to it:

Favorite Movie: Us. I saw a lot of great movies this year, but Us is the one that has stayed with me the longest. Jordan Peele’s follow up to Get Out, Us is the story of a family that encounters their dopplegangers while enjoying the family lake house over summer vacation. I would recommend it to anyone who can tolerate mild horror elements, since it’s really more thriller than horror. Lupita Nyong’o was a FORCE in this movie. I had never been so captivated by a performance, except maybe Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman in Black Swan. She was not given a Golden Globe nomination for her role, which I find a DISGUSTING snub. DIS.GUS.TING.

Favorite Music: When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? by Billie Eilish. She’s barely eighteen years old, and she’s already created one of the most iconic songs of a decade. This is Billie’s second album, after her first album Don’t Smile at Me in 2017, which contained songs mostly wrote entirely by Billie and her older brother Finneas. Her voice ranges from being “spooky little girl” (in All the Good Girls Go to Hell) to “lilting angel” (in Everything I Wanted). She has a sense of humor about herself and the way the media portrays her (and women in general). I hope she keeps that belief in herself (which definitely is rooted in Finneas, who deserves just as much as credit), because she has one of the most unique voices in the industry right now. Here’s my favorite song from this album:

Favorite TV Show: This is tough! I have a tie. Both of these shows started before 2019, technically, but I only got into them this year.
Schitt’s Creek – What if that reality TV family lost ALL their money, except a tiny two-street town in the middle of nowhere bought ironically years prior? That’s this show. Comedy icon Eugene Levy co-created the show with his son Dan, and they play father-and-son within the series (former video store CEO Johnny and stylish do-nothing David, respectively). Filling out the family is Annie Murphy as David’s ditzy sister Alexis and the truly incomparable Catherine O’Hara as former soap opera star Moira. Their adjustment from riches to rags in a podunk town is charming, sentimental, and at times, rolling on the floor funny. After watching this show, you will never pronounce the word “baby” the same way.

YOU – Were we surprised? I’m gonna say it: it’s not “quirky” or “weird” to be into serial killer/stalker/murder shows. In fact, I think it’s more weird now to not be into them. Unless you’re my mom. In which case, don’t worry. You’re great. I love you! Penn Badgley stars as Joe Goldberg, a leveled up version of Badgley’s character in Gossip Girl, Dan Humphrey. It’s a classic love story… boy meets girl, gets obsessed with her, manipulates his way into her heart and rids any obstacles on their path to happily ever after by any means necessary. The true love story, however, is on Twitter, where former fans of Tate Langdon and Zac Efron’s version of Ted Bundy discuss how much they love Joe… much to Penn Badgley’s horror.

Favorite Podcast: Office Ladies! Oh my goodness oh my goodness. Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey (AKA Pam Beesly and Angela Martin from The Office) have started a podcast discussing The Office, providing fun facts and behind-the-scenes secrets about each episode. They’re only about ten or so episodes in, but listening to this podcast on my way to work in the morning is an absolute highlight of my week! There’s only been a few moments where I can say “Oh, I knew that,” in reference to their trivia (being a die-hard Office fan as it is), and hearing all new production notes just makes it more special. It’s like watching the show for the first time all over again!

officeladies

Favorite Book: “Never Play Dead” by Tomi Lahren. I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY! A bleeding red-state Conservative nightmare who hates all things peace and love? You read HER book?! You gave her money?! And LIKED it?!
michaelscottI know! Believe me, I know. But also…

Tomi Lahren was fired from her job at “The Blaze” for speaking her mind about a controversial opinion to have in her world: being pro-choice in a pro-life political affiliation. Since then she has won a wrongful termination lawsuit and now works as a Fox News correspondent. She is one of the most discussed political commentators right now, and with good reason. Her fiery rants are very intimidating! But then you ask yourself: is she intimidating, or are you intimidated?

Truth be told, Tomi Lahren is a strong woman with an even stronger work ethic. To read in her book that she was always the odd girl out (and never, say, the cheerleader or the prom queen) was very surprising, as was her past history with abusive relationships and an eating disorder (aren’t all pretty blonde Republicans just naturally thin without trying?). I don’t agree with Tomi on a lot of things. But I am all for radiating the confidence of a much smarter, more self-assured woman.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from her book:
“When I look myself in the mirror, I ask: What did I do today to get me closer to what I want to achieve?”

“When you own your sh*t, you reach a different level. It’s also really healing to recognize your poison and when you are standing in your way.”

“The truth is this: you are magic—with or without ‘likes.'”

Favorite Place: Monaco. I have made many mistakes in my life. I’ve said the wrong thing, I’ve sabotaged myself, I’ve hurt others and in turn, they hurt me. Every bad decision has been worth it, because every choice I made led me to be on the top deck of the Celebrity Constellation on October 31 to see this view of Monaco at night. The picture doesn’t do it justice, so hopefully, you can imagine.

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No filter on this Monaco mountain.

Favorite Food: Pistachio gelato. Tried it for the first time in Sicily. Combined it with Nutella gelato. The best food on this earth. Get away from me if you disagree.

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Favorite Skin Care Product: Cosrx Acne Pimple Master Patches. I’ve never seen a miracle product work in such a way. Buzzfeed told me to try them eighty times, and I didn’t believe them until my cousin Stephanie vouched for them. I kid you not, if you catch a pimple two days before an event, slap on one of these bad boys before you go to sleep each night. It will be easily concealed by makeup after night one, and completely gone by night two. If you’re gross, you’ll see the buildup of whitehead ickiness when you take the patch off in the morning. It feels like vindication.

Buy yours here!

Favorite Make-Up Product: Ardell Individual Knot-Free Lashes. Last December, I had my makeup trials for the wedding. My MUA, Jamie Dragon (literally Miss Vermont several years ago) applied these lashes to my eyes and they stayed there for a full two weeks after I got back. After the wedding, I pulled my last lash off when washing my face one night on my honeymoon. Boom. Because I am the way I am, I have tried and failed twice to put them on myself, but I bought them again this past week to practice and get good at it. Guarantee you’ll feel like a new person with these lashes!

Buy yours here!

Favorite Moment of 2019: You’re gonna be surprised: the entire day of my wedding was my favorite moment of 2019. From being told the wedding was going to be outdoors, to the John Lennon quote during the ceremony, to looking at all my friends and feeling so grateful for all of them during dinner that night, to spinning around like a princess to “Dancing Queen” by Abba. Every second of that day, even the stomach pains from eating too much cheese, was perfect. That said, I’ll also share this honest moment of love from the honeymoon:
Aaron and I were supposed to go into Kotor on our cruise. However, the day of that disembarkation, the seas were too rough for us to make port. We were forced into another day at sea, on a day too windy to enjoy the pool or sunning ourselves on the Dalmatian coast. That said, Aaron and I made a decent day of it. Along with that, our stateroom attendant had provided us a complimentary bottle of wine to celebrate our wedding. Aaron and I stared out at the Game of Thrones like mountains while drinking red wine like Cersei Lannister. Aaron took this photo of us in the rainy wind that day.

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It’s silly, and one moment of a million great moments of that trip, and our whole year, but I’m going to always remember that moment as being so perfect that I actually enjoyed the taste of the red wine (which, as anyone can tell you, is saying something, because most wine makes my tongue sad).

I have had a truly wonderful 2019, full of twists and turns and moments of love. I’m so happy and thankful for this year, and this entire decade.

Now let’s roar these twenties.

Treat Yo’ Self 2019

Posted on by maljoylove

It’s a week before the wedding, and it’s time to start packing the suitcase! That said, the weather in Vermont is about, on average, thirty degrees lower than Florida. So packing the suitcase means I need to buy new clothes to fill it!

Aaron was eager to go shopping for new clothes, and listed off a few places for us to go to for warmer items (and various haberdashery). He wanted to go to Aldo, Ray Bans, J. Crew, and H&M. He was even okay with going to Forever 21, since they recently announced bankruptcy (and I was hoping for an “EVERYTHING MUST GO” sale like what happened with Charlotte Russe).

And then, it happened. Aaron insisted we go to “Abercrombie.”

My immediate reaction:

MichaelScott

I don’t think I had ever impersonated a turtle faster. I downright refused.

For those unfamiliar with the “Abercrombie” retailer, it’s a clothing store that specializes in gorgeous clothes for almost exclusively beautiful people. Former models in Abercrombie campaigns include Kellan Lutz, Jamie Dornan, and yes, Taylor Swift.

In middle school, the cool girls all had the Abercrombie zip-up sweatshirts, polos, and jeans. I was not a cool girl. I went inside their sister store, Hollister, once, and was given the cold shoulder. I knew I could barely fit into their largest shirts, and so did the employees. I was given looks in Abercrombie too, but I never bothered to buy anything. I stood quietly as my friends and family got smiles and pleasantries, and then went into the food court to eat too many Lotus Garden egg rolls.

Abercrombie and Fitch forever represented all my body insecurities. There was no way in hell that I was going in there.

This morning I woke up and checked Twitter and saw that today was the best day of the year: Treat. Yo. Self.

A phenomenon created by “Parks and Recreation,” Treat Yo Self is a day in which you indulge in some of the finest luxuries.

I decided to start my day off with a bagel, and actually buy clothes without worrying too much about a budget. I mean, I have student debt, so that’d be a no on a pair of $300 Gucci shades, but a mini-shopping spree at H&M could be in the cards.

Aaron and I made our way to the mall. By some twist of fate, we parked in the parking lot near the biggest department store… right next to Abercrombie.

Aaron and I walked into Abercrombie, and I went in to be supportive. Instead, he nudged me towards some sweaters.

To their credit, they were cute. I decided to indulge him to prove that I couldn’t fit into their clothes. I grabbed shirts and sweaters and headed for the dressing rooms. An employee who probably weighed ninety pounds walked through me. When I asked for a dressing room she avoided eye contact but did her job.

The energy was there. It hurt, and reminded me why I never wanted to come into that store, or any of the stores like it.

I then started trying on clothes, and I’m not sure if it was the lighting, the music (Ed Sheeran), or me, but it was the first time in a while that I felt truly confident in my clothes. I had to get new sizes for a few items, too. Even one sweater needed to be a small!

Me. Forever a size 14. Needed a small sweater in the ultimate skinny girl store.

What dimension was this?

I had two more encounters with salesgirls, and both of them couldn’t have been nicer. I kind of like the narrative that proves that Abercrombie prefers the size zeros of the world, but for all I know, the dressing room salesgirl was having a bad day. I’ve worked retail. I work tech support now. Helping people sucks sometimes, and holding a smile and being nice to everyone just isn’t possible on days like that.

I spent quite a pretty penny at Abercrombie today, and then got new jeans at H&M, and a tee shirt at Forever 21 (a good white tee shirt is always a must). I am READY for this weekend in Vermont.

We had gotten an early dinner at the food court in the mall; I had gotten a gyro and Aaron got Chipotle, which for some reason completely drained him of energy. He collapsed into bed not long after we got home.

I took the opportunity to enjoy the last bit of my Dairy Free Ben and Jerry’s (chocolate fudge brownie) and the latest season of “Insatiable”. People have taken a lot of shots at “Insatiable,” but I think it’s the dark horse of streaming TV. It’s also the first time I’ve felt like my own issues with body image have been put into words (other shows have tackled the subject well, but I feel like “Insatiable” has been the closest narrative to depict MY personal experience. It’s been helpful).

Between my bagel, my gyro, my ice cream, and my show, I kind of came to an idea for my own eating habits: eat healthy every chance I get, and pick the plant-based option whenever possible. That said, ice cream once a week won’t kill me. Neither will a bagel with cream cheese one day, and one meal where I can enjoy anything I want: pizza, a burger, or yes, a vegan calzone (they exist, and they can be amazing). Food isn’t something I can just quit, nor do I want to think of food as something I can’t enjoy. That said, I think modern American (or even just internet) culture has fetishized food, and “eating” shouldn’t be a personality trait for me. I realize now that I do talk about food a lot. I obsess over it! I think it’s time for a new obsession.

Good clothes. Good food. A little me time. An epiphany, even. I’m getting married in six days, but this totally joins in the running for “The Best Day of the Year.”

treatyoself2019

 

 

The Many Moods of a Workout

Posted on by maljoylove

This week has been one of mediocre workouts. To be honest, I haven’t had a GREAT workout in a while. I haven’t left the gym feeling sweaty and accomplished in a few weeks, and I’m disappointed about it. I agree that working out regularly is more than can be said for a lot of people, but if I’m waking up at the crack of dawn, missing out on an extra hour or two of sleep, to do something good for my body, shouldn’t it be time well spent?

To me, the only two things you need to have a good workout are motivation and the right soundtrack. I have three playlists that I work with regularly. If you’re reading this and wanting some new “tunage” for your workout, maybe some of these will help!

The “Superhero Playlist”

This is my playlist for when I want to feel super strong. When I want to watch my form in the mirror and see my muscles “jump” with each movement, this is my go-to. I tend to stick to this playlist when I’m strength-training, and it makes me feel like Wonder Woman. Or Thor.

spotify:user:1271959391:playlist:7nfgDk94crwsVacZfurTxp

 

The “Happy Playlist”

I save this one for when I’m just… D E A D. Some days I feel foggy but still alert, it’s the same sensation that, if I decide to let it put me back to bed after turning off my alarm, I end up playing on my phone until 6:30 instead of sleeping. When I recognize that mental/physical state, this playlist gets me up and at ’em at the gym. It’s all feel-good, can’t help but smile songs.

spotify:user:1271959391:playlist:3xAYxdp7A7SmZ54o0sJUMT

This music always gets me ready to bounce my way through a workout. I regularly dance from one set of weights to the next using this playlist! I kNoW, I’m such a DORK.

“Chapter Ten: The Lost Weekend”. Riverdale, The CW. 17 April 2017.

The “CW Theory” Playlist

I’ll talk about this with anyone who will listen: EVERYONE ON THE CW IS ATTRACTIVE. Think about it: Stephen Amell, Nina Dobrev, Jared Padalecki, Madelaine Petsch, all GORGEOUS people. “Gossip Girl” aired on the CW and EVERYONE on that show was beautiful. 

Katie Cassidy has been on four shows on The CW so like case in point.

Moral of the story is, find a fanvid on Instagram of someone on a CW show, and chances are that song will motivate you through your workout: be hot enough to be on the CW. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

spotify:user:1271959391:playlist:12zKqGIrRSpSey4klHq4PL

I’ve barely listened to these playlists for the past month. I bet that has SOMETHING to do with it. I will return to this roundup with this week’s workouts.

Have you ever had a Marionberry Pancake?

Posted on by maljoylove

I’m obsessed with Portlandia, because it reminds me of Burlington. In their “Brunch Village” episode the daily special of the popular brunch spot is marionberry pancakes. I think they were going for the most obscure berry they could think of to obtain that “why is it” niche. Literally, take half of these sketches and put them on Church Street, and you wouldn’t notice.

“Brunch Village.” Portlandia, IFC. 9 March 2012

This week has been exhausting, especially compared to how blissful the weekend had been. Thankfully, nothing too maddening happened this week, but as we get further into our site migration, there’s more for us to learn-by-doing.

That said, there are a few things that I feel myself losing patience on frequently this week. People are trying to adjust their website without knowing how to do it. Imagine being a mechanic and standing next to someone with a flat tire, and the person wants to repair the flat tire on their own, but wants you to explain it to them, and when you tell them “You need a spare tire” they ask what a spare tire is. At that point, just let the mechanic repair the tire. This is not your time, my love.

With that, there is a sense of camaraderie with my coworkers. We know what it means when “Beverly” needs help, or when “Fred from Chicago” is on the phone. Then comes the pregnant pause after the phone call ends, and the coworker is like “OH. MY. GOD.” and we can all reply back with “Dude, I know.” It also helps me with appreciating the GOOD customers more. I’d give my life for “Carly.” Call me with help with the website whenever you need it, okay?

I’ve come up with a tactic when I feel like I’m about to snap. I just close my eyes and pretend I’m floating in the ocean, and I’m surrounded by tiny seahorses (solid “Napoleon Dynamite” reference). Then there’s jellyfish in my head, and I move my hand like it’s a jellyfish. The movement REALLY calms me down and diffuses my tension.

Light. Happy. Free. It’s me.
This image is from Tumblr.
I’m not certain if this is a real jellyfish it looks animated.

The theme song for Portlandia is really chill, too. It’s called “Feel it All Around” by Washed Out, and it does remind me of walking Church Street like I did in college.

It’s flashback Friday, and I’m feeling the nostalgia tonight for UVM hard. I’ve been doing a poem a day, and today’s theme was “Back to Nature.” I kept thinking about the times I’d just walk through the colors of UVM, whether it was the trees on campus or lying in the snow on a dead silent night. I have a lot of good memories. I can’t wait to move to New York, but I want to retire in Vermont. I want to have a nice home where I can hike and go to a farmer’s market for fresh vegetables.

I will make it happen one day. For now, I’m going to get ready for bed.

After one more episode.

Thoughts on Gratitude

Posted on by maljoylove

I feel like lately, I’ve been struggling with me. Work has been stressful with golf season in full “swing” (come back I’m not done), and I have a lot of self-imposed pressure to look perfect for my wedding in 200 days (give or take). I’ve had mini breakthroughs along the way, but I’ve noticed my low moments more and more and felt powerless against them.

This weekend has left me with a lot of gratitude. I’m lucky that I have family who made me feel safe and loved. Out of frame of this shot sat a kind of person I didn’t think existed until we met. I’m grateful for him.

Not long after taking this photo we wandered over to Strawberry Fields, where dozens gather to commemorate John Lennon (who, yes, is not my favorite Beatle, but his music matters). A guitarist sat nearby and someone walked past and requested “Imagine”. The crowd of strangers sat on the benches and listened as this girl strummed and sang the words we all knew. Everyone quietly joined in for the chorus and applauded at the end (I know “and everyone applauded” is very r/thathappened, but it did, I swear. No whoops or cheers, it was very polite applause). A girl sat with her mother crying and thanked the guitarist for playing that song, because it was her father’s favorite.

I’m grateful for that moment of community and love.

Before heading to the airport we found ourselves at One World Trade Center. It reminded me to be thankful because, as Lin-Manuel Miranda once so eloquently put it, “senseless acts of tragedy remind us that nothing here is promised, not one day.”

There were many beautiful things about this weekend, from our hotel to the food to the weather to the multitude of dogs. An absolute peak came from visiting 30 Rock. Twelve years ago, I was an awkward middle schooler who was obsessed with “Mean Girls,” and excitedly watched Saturday Night Live for the first time as Tina Fey hosted the show for its return after the end of the WGA Writers Strike. I am grateful to have had her voice guiding me through high school and college and helping me fall in love with comedy, writing, and strong female friendships (I hold Leslie and Ann strong in my heart, but the first big one was always Amy and Tina).

I wanted to work for NBC after that first SNL episode, and I’m so happy to say that now I do. It reminds me of how far I’ve come, and how much farther I have to go. A lot can happen in twelve years, so who knows where I’ll be at 36?

So today, I am thankful. I’m full to the brim with love and appreciation for the time spent this weekend, and I’m equally grateful for all the steps and missteps that got me there. I think twelve-year-old me would be proud of our journey. I resolve (and dare I say manifest?) to keep her with me as i move forward with this week, with this season, with the next 200 days, and the next twelve years.

If you read this, thank you. I love you. You can do this. Flurm.

Suddenly, She’s Triggered

Posted on by maljoylove

Whole30 is whooping my butt. My tummy has felt off since I had breakfast this AM, and I think it has to do with all the bananas and the sudden addition of cauliflower (I’ve been having a cauliflower soup for dinner the past two nights– it’s very good).

It’s actually not fair to say that it’s Whole30, because aside from a couple of inconveniences, things are going fine. I just feel so heavy right now. It feels stupid to think about how much I want to be thin, especially for my wedding, because that’s so not important in the grand scheme of things.

Ugh, my thoughts are all over the place today because even THAT is wrong. The wedding part, maybe, but I’ll be real: the summer after I lost forty pounds was great! I felt confident and happy in my skin. I was at the top of my game. I feel like everything else in my life is pretty great too, so imagine if things WERE great and I FELT great.

I feel like I need more structure. I need to approach everything in my life with moderation. Binge watching new shows definitely throws me off my game. That said, having The Office or Parks and Recreation on in the background while I do chores has always worked. I think that staying active and not couch potato-ing it will help me be more active a person. If I go from dinner to doing dishes to chores to self-care to reading to meditating to bed, there won’t be a whole lot of room for me to sit on the couch and crave something sweet.

Someday I’ll take my own advice. Meanwhile I still wish I had Blair Waldorf’s style, Serena’s smile, and the ability to slap Dan because how DARE he have already moved on so fast?? Love of his life, my butt. It’s sad that I’m quicker to forgive Joe Goldberg for murder than Dan Humphrey for getting with Georgina Sparks. Catch me caring.

Million Mile High Club Checkpoint

Posted on by maljoylove

Ground Control to Major Tom…

David Bowie, “Space Oddity”

I’m writing this on the Samsung notes app as I speed out from Providence home to Orlando. I’ve spent a long weekend with my best friends and it’s been a cold one. On Saturday I saw Panic! at the Disco, my favorite band, for the first time since hearing them 12 years ago. It was an incredible show and to be quite honest, my brain is still processing it. So much time, energy, devotion and dare I say love manifested into one less-than-two-hour time period. Can you blame me for still being in shock?

A Casual Affair…

At one point the lead singer walked about five feet in front of me to sit at a piano that eventually floated up into the sky. Talk about surreal. I’ll meet him one day, hopefully, and thank him for the music. Its really meant a lot.

A Dreamer Just Like You…

I’ve also decided that “Dying in LA” is about YouTube personality Trisha Paytas. Anyone who’d care to dissent can fight me.

On top of that night, my friend Allison and I learned of the “Most Stuf” Oreo, a sandwich cookie that goes beyond the MEGASTUFF. The city was hit by a massive sleet and snowstorm, but our munchie-loving minds could not be bothered. Lined with multiple layers and one poorly-chosen pair of boots (I did not anticipate such ice-slicked road traipsing, okay?), we visited three stores before finding the blessed cookie (and a roving robot named Marty who acted as a security camera for the store. 2019 has been a weird year so far).

The concert venue was attached to a mall, hotel, and convention center. You could have a whole weekend without stepping outside at all! On our way to the concert, we noticed the Forever 21 was closing for renovations. Thus, they were selling all merchandise at 75 percent off to clear the house before closing for six months. You better believe my gears started turning.

This mall had everything: Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, MTV’s Dan Cortese…

My flight home on Sunday (yesterday) was cancelled because of the storm, but I thankfully got on the flight home at the same time today. I would’ve spent today cleaning or watching movies on my own, since Aaron had a full work day unlike me. Spending it instead, despite the circumstance, with my friends feverishly trying on clothes to get a start on that wardrobe update, was a much better use of my time. Granted, due to the time constraints of getting me to the airport (and yes, squeezing in an indulgent lunch at Not Your Average Joe’s, the beacon of comfort food) my decisions were rushed. I think that worked in my favor. It didn’t leave any room for second guessing, good or bad. I had to either love it or hate it. No half-measures, no “maybe” piles.

So what did I accomplish? A small dent in my list. I will admit, despite the patterns I indicated in my previous post, I left a gaping hole that wasn’t noted in my Pinterest board: crop tops with high waisted bottoms. I even noticed it in my last post, but figured I’d revisit it later. How’s “four days from now” for later?

I did emerge mostly on task: I am now the owner of not one, but two pairs of high waisted jeans, one black and one blue. I bought a long grey cardigan, a long with a fitted black button down, a grey tee shirt, and a white blouse. Along with that I bought several crop tops, one of which was hot pink! I think two of them were white, but they were very cute. I really did try to focus on color though. I never thought I’d be one to wear yellow, but I bought a yellow crop top AND a yellow bodysuit (effectively a fitted shirt). I tried on a pink one too, but the fabric was pulling and there wasn’t another one in store. Still, I emerged from the mall with a GREAT start to my 2019 style journey, all for roughly 60 dollars!

Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) in “Clueless”. The true 90s style icon.

I also emerged with a shred of hope. I could only spend so much time in Charlotte Russe; had I had more time I could have gotten a lot more. Another three hours and I could have hit up H&M too! That said, sneaking two shopping bags into an already-full airplane underneath a snow jacket, along with a rolling suitcase and a handbag, is a feat that surely must put me in the record books somewhere. I probably couldn’t have sneaked on a third bag of clothes.

I have all those stores and more spread between three massive shopping plazas within a 15 mile radius of my house. If Aaron is down for a full day of dress-up, I’m sure I could finish that list in no time.

My plane is set to land in about a half an hour, give or take. Parks and Recreation is in full marathon mode on Comedy Central. I could enjoy that till we touch down, for sure! But I did want to add a final checkpoint: before opening this app, I had just finished “The Martian”. Two books this month! Wahoo! Admittedly I had started both books last year, I think, but it still counts! It was a great book that kept me on the edge of my seat. There was a lot of math and science that proved i would not have been a great astronaut. I’d still like to go into space one day. Hey Elon Musk, hit me up sometime!

I think my next book will be “An Infinite View,” and maybe I’ll read that simultaneously with “No Excuses!” They just dinged the light indicating the descent to Orlando. I could start my book, but this episode of Parks and Recreation is one of my favorites. Leslie Knope just met Ben Wyatt. I have a bit of a thing for him.

Ice Town costs Ice Clown his Town Crown

Several Days Later

Posted on by maljoylove

I finished “You” and all I can say is WOW. I don’t know how I’m going to live between now and season 2. I cracked and looked at the reviews and the consensus is positive, which warms me up to know. At the same time, people (including the actor who plays him) are shocked that a lot of the audience has a crush on the protagonist but IN HIS DEFENSE OKAY HE’S SUPER CUTE AND JUST TRYING TO HELP SO WHAT IF HE DOES SO IN A SOCIOPATHIC MANNER LIKE IT’S FINE.

At any rate, my evening routines have been thusly sabotaged after watching it all night Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Although I will say that Thursday I got everything I needed to get done while watching the show, I just went to bed later than I should have. I also haven’t finished my book yet! Not even close. I’m flying to visit friends this weekend, so I’m hoping I can finish the book by then and start another one on the flight.

I feel better when I’m productive, and very mediocre when I’m not. I recognize that I haven’t written regularly, used one of my two cute new planners, nor finished the book I was supposed to read last week. It stinks! I need to work at my consistency. This morning I woke up and rather than getting up and starting my day with stretching or meditating, I played on my phone, and then I left a bit later and forgot my FitBit. I did a great shoulder workout but no HIIT as a result. It’s a silly excuse, but I tried doing HIIT without my ‘Bit on Saturday and it wasn’t easy. It was a decent HIIT workout though, because I left the gym wheezing into the cool January air. I need to have my watch ON me and READY by the time I leave for the gym. Headphones need to be CHARGED and PAIRED. The biggest sense of progress I’ve felt for my mental well-being has been putting on thick socks and a sweatshirt before I go to sleep. That way, I’m less likely to wake up feeling cold and in desperate need to snuggle instead of get up for my workout!

I feel bad for not doing HIIT today, so I’m debating taking care of that this afternoon during my work break. At the same time, I should take that time to open my planner and get organized! We shall SEE what happens. For now, it’s 6:30 AM, so I should go take my shower and get ready for my morning. Let’s get this bread (or, if you’re an intellectual, let’s catch this rye)!