Month: January 2019

It’s Such a Wednesday

Posted on by maljoylove
Current Mood

I want to have a positive attitude all the time, and regularly manifest good energy. That said, I feel like anything else besides happiness is bad.

I just came off an extremely annoying workday. Who calls with forty minutes worth of questions at 4:40, making me work past my 5PM shift end? It’s infuriating! The rest of the day was equally stressful, because it was full of forty-five minute lulls and then thirty minutes of eight cases at a time.

I know all of this is grunt work, and it’s a necessary part of being successful. To get to the rainbow, you have to make it through the rain. Days like it today make it hard for me to feel like this is just step one. I just want to fast-forward to being large and in charge, and not having to deal with the nonsense. I want to pay other people to take care of the nonsense for me.

In the meantime, I’m going to just enjoy the rest of the afternoon the best way I know how. A few self-care and tidying practices after dinner with Aaron.

It’s a part of life. I accept things I cannot change and I move forward from them with that understanding.

I DON’T HAVE TO LIKE IT THOUGH. SO THERE.

Million Mile High Club Checkpoint

Posted on by maljoylove

Ground Control to Major Tom…

David Bowie, “Space Oddity”

I’m writing this on the Samsung notes app as I speed out from Providence home to Orlando. I’ve spent a long weekend with my best friends and it’s been a cold one. On Saturday I saw Panic! at the Disco, my favorite band, for the first time since hearing them 12 years ago. It was an incredible show and to be quite honest, my brain is still processing it. So much time, energy, devotion and dare I say love manifested into one less-than-two-hour time period. Can you blame me for still being in shock?

A Casual Affair…

At one point the lead singer walked about five feet in front of me to sit at a piano that eventually floated up into the sky. Talk about surreal. I’ll meet him one day, hopefully, and thank him for the music. Its really meant a lot.

A Dreamer Just Like You…

I’ve also decided that “Dying in LA” is about YouTube personality Trisha Paytas. Anyone who’d care to dissent can fight me.

On top of that night, my friend Allison and I learned of the “Most Stuf” Oreo, a sandwich cookie that goes beyond the MEGASTUFF. The city was hit by a massive sleet and snowstorm, but our munchie-loving minds could not be bothered. Lined with multiple layers and one poorly-chosen pair of boots (I did not anticipate such ice-slicked road traipsing, okay?), we visited three stores before finding the blessed cookie (and a roving robot named Marty who acted as a security camera for the store. 2019 has been a weird year so far).

The concert venue was attached to a mall, hotel, and convention center. You could have a whole weekend without stepping outside at all! On our way to the concert, we noticed the Forever 21 was closing for renovations. Thus, they were selling all merchandise at 75 percent off to clear the house before closing for six months. You better believe my gears started turning.

This mall had everything: Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, MTV’s Dan Cortese…

My flight home on Sunday (yesterday) was cancelled because of the storm, but I thankfully got on the flight home at the same time today. I would’ve spent today cleaning or watching movies on my own, since Aaron had a full work day unlike me. Spending it instead, despite the circumstance, with my friends feverishly trying on clothes to get a start on that wardrobe update, was a much better use of my time. Granted, due to the time constraints of getting me to the airport (and yes, squeezing in an indulgent lunch at Not Your Average Joe’s, the beacon of comfort food) my decisions were rushed. I think that worked in my favor. It didn’t leave any room for second guessing, good or bad. I had to either love it or hate it. No half-measures, no “maybe” piles.

So what did I accomplish? A small dent in my list. I will admit, despite the patterns I indicated in my previous post, I left a gaping hole that wasn’t noted in my Pinterest board: crop tops with high waisted bottoms. I even noticed it in my last post, but figured I’d revisit it later. How’s “four days from now” for later?

I did emerge mostly on task: I am now the owner of not one, but two pairs of high waisted jeans, one black and one blue. I bought a long grey cardigan, a long with a fitted black button down, a grey tee shirt, and a white blouse. Along with that I bought several crop tops, one of which was hot pink! I think two of them were white, but they were very cute. I really did try to focus on color though. I never thought I’d be one to wear yellow, but I bought a yellow crop top AND a yellow bodysuit (effectively a fitted shirt). I tried on a pink one too, but the fabric was pulling and there wasn’t another one in store. Still, I emerged from the mall with a GREAT start to my 2019 style journey, all for roughly 60 dollars!

Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) in “Clueless”. The true 90s style icon.

I also emerged with a shred of hope. I could only spend so much time in Charlotte Russe; had I had more time I could have gotten a lot more. Another three hours and I could have hit up H&M too! That said, sneaking two shopping bags into an already-full airplane underneath a snow jacket, along with a rolling suitcase and a handbag, is a feat that surely must put me in the record books somewhere. I probably couldn’t have sneaked on a third bag of clothes.

I have all those stores and more spread between three massive shopping plazas within a 15 mile radius of my house. If Aaron is down for a full day of dress-up, I’m sure I could finish that list in no time.

My plane is set to land in about a half an hour, give or take. Parks and Recreation is in full marathon mode on Comedy Central. I could enjoy that till we touch down, for sure! But I did want to add a final checkpoint: before opening this app, I had just finished “The Martian”. Two books this month! Wahoo! Admittedly I had started both books last year, I think, but it still counts! It was a great book that kept me on the edge of my seat. There was a lot of math and science that proved i would not have been a great astronaut. I’d still like to go into space one day. Hey Elon Musk, hit me up sometime!

I think my next book will be “An Infinite View,” and maybe I’ll read that simultaneously with “No Excuses!” They just dinged the light indicating the descent to Orlando. I could start my book, but this episode of Parks and Recreation is one of my favorites. Leslie Knope just met Ben Wyatt. I have a bit of a thing for him.

Ice Town costs Ice Clown his Town Crown

Grace and (No) Style

Posted on by maljoylove

I dunno, Spongebob. He might cramp our style.

STYLE!

–“Born Again Crustacean.” Spongebob Squarepants. Nickelodeon. 24 Jan. 2003. Television.

This morning I put on pretty lovely makeup, my hair looked nice, and a cute top with some grey jeans. However, my jeans are loose along the leg, so against my boots, they look baggy and unkempt.

With that in mind, I think it’s time I get started on that New Years Resolution to get some StYLe. I have over 1K pins saved on my Pinterest board for “Fashion”. However, I feel like a lot of the styles I pick look great on skinnier girls, and those looks may not flatter my figure. I can at least try, right? Try and size up on styles.

When I look at this Pinterest board, I definitely see a pattern:

  • Ankle (or just-above ankle) length skinny jeans (varying from mid length to high-rise) with either a loose-flowing tucked in shirt, or a tightly tucked in shirt, and some kind of long sweater or jacket. The ensemble is tucked in with boots or, if the pants fall above the ankle, they are paired with sneakers (typically white) or occasionally booties. There are some work-friendly ensembles that match this description that are paired with heels or wedges:
  • What I’m calling the “Modriana Grande.” There’s lots of blouses tucked into high waisted skirts, paired with either leggings and boots or thigh high boots. The latter is a favorite style with Ariana Grande, though I’ve seen her pair the thigh-high boots with just a dress. I’m scared to try this look in particular, because as on-trend as it is, I’m certain my legs in a thigh-high would shock and horrify. But, worst case scenario, I try it once and hate it, I never wear it again. Best case scenario is I rock it, feel like a new woman, and reach a new level of #CrushingIt:

  • The “Cindy Crawford Minimalist.” The former supermodel recently did a “73 Questions” video with Vogue, in which she lounged casually in her beachside mansion wearing a simple flowing white button down and blue jeans. This bears similarities to the first frequency noted, but that’s more of an autumn look. Depending on the fabric this is great for spring and summer (and looking a bit more polished on casual Fridays at work).

  • Athleisure Wear. This tends to be my go-to on most casual days, but that’s really just me wearing gym clothes. I can do better than that. However, because I wear this regularly, the only real distinction is that I need to update it to be a bit more stylish. My workout pants are worn from years of wear. I just bought two new pairs of joggers, but unfortunately, the sizing isn’t great. It looks loose in the front half, making for a very sloppy look suitable only for hanging out in my house in something other than my pajamas. My “athleisure” shirts can always be a bit more flattering, too. I could do with a new pair of sneakers (or two):

    • The “Stylish Girl”. In an almost inverted version of the first feature, the tops are snug and the bottoms are loose. I don’t know the name of this type of pant (maybe it’s culottes? I THINK it’s culottes), but when paired with a form fitting shirt and either sneakers or sandals, this is a LOOK. I have only seen Instagram “influencers” wear this, and I’m nervous to try it. I’m scared I’m going to look silly! That said, I think that means I have no choice but to go for it:

    Those were the big patterns I noticed, though there were a few “wild cards” that I would love to wear at least once, but I want to build a wardrobe of clothes to wear, not a few pieces that will make up one day’s worth of clothes.

    On top of that, I’m a little bored of my consistent “shades of black” look, so I want to add more colors. I do like the rose gold and amber “culottes,” as well as the sparkly rose gold sneakers seen in the “athleisure” wear. The A-line skirts will be new for me, since I tend to gravitate towards tulip skirts. I need to get both loose fitting and well fitted neutral shirts, maybe white, black, grey, light blue and blush/light pink.

    “Clothing” to Buy:

        • Grey Skinny Jeans
        • Blue Rinse High Rise Jeans
        • White loose-flowing button down or casual blouse
        • 2 Longer cardigans (I have four cute jackets now, I don’t need to buy another).
        • White Sneakers (Sooner Rather than Later)
        • Black Sneakers (A luxury at this point)
        • Pair of well-fitted joggers
        • 2 A-Line Skirts
        • 1 Pair of Culottes
        • 1 Loose White Tee Shirt
        • 1 Loose Black Tee Shirt
        • 1 Loose Grey Tee Shirt
        • 1 Loose Light Blue Shirt
        • 1 Loose Pale Pink Shirt
        • 1 Fitted White Tee Shirt
        • 1 Fitted Black Tee Shirt
        • 1 Fitted Grey Tee Shirt
        • 1 Fitted Light Blue Shirt
        • 1 Fitted Pale Pink Shirt
        • 1 Black Blouse
        • 1 Pink Blouse
        • 1 Light Blue Blouse

    That’s 24 clothing items to start. I think that is a great start! Now the question is, where do I go to get the clothes? My sister says H&M makes stylish, cute clothes, and I know Forever 21 does too. I’m also on a budget, so I need a place that’s wallet friendly. There are Youtube videos on how to be “bougie on a budget,” so I will continue my journey there. Baby steps to fashion success!

    Several Days Later

    Posted on by maljoylove

    I finished “You” and all I can say is WOW. I don’t know how I’m going to live between now and season 2. I cracked and looked at the reviews and the consensus is positive, which warms me up to know. At the same time, people (including the actor who plays him) are shocked that a lot of the audience has a crush on the protagonist but IN HIS DEFENSE OKAY HE’S SUPER CUTE AND JUST TRYING TO HELP SO WHAT IF HE DOES SO IN A SOCIOPATHIC MANNER LIKE IT’S FINE.

    At any rate, my evening routines have been thusly sabotaged after watching it all night Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Although I will say that Thursday I got everything I needed to get done while watching the show, I just went to bed later than I should have. I also haven’t finished my book yet! Not even close. I’m flying to visit friends this weekend, so I’m hoping I can finish the book by then and start another one on the flight.

    I feel better when I’m productive, and very mediocre when I’m not. I recognize that I haven’t written regularly, used one of my two cute new planners, nor finished the book I was supposed to read last week. It stinks! I need to work at my consistency. This morning I woke up and rather than getting up and starting my day with stretching or meditating, I played on my phone, and then I left a bit later and forgot my FitBit. I did a great shoulder workout but no HIIT as a result. It’s a silly excuse, but I tried doing HIIT without my ‘Bit on Saturday and it wasn’t easy. It was a decent HIIT workout though, because I left the gym wheezing into the cool January air. I need to have my watch ON me and READY by the time I leave for the gym. Headphones need to be CHARGED and PAIRED. The biggest sense of progress I’ve felt for my mental well-being has been putting on thick socks and a sweatshirt before I go to sleep. That way, I’m less likely to wake up feeling cold and in desperate need to snuggle instead of get up for my workout!

    I feel bad for not doing HIIT today, so I’m debating taking care of that this afternoon during my work break. At the same time, I should take that time to open my planner and get organized! We shall SEE what happens. For now, it’s 6:30 AM, so I should go take my shower and get ready for my morning. Let’s get this bread (or, if you’re an intellectual, let’s catch this rye)!

    I did a very, very bad thing

    Posted on by maljoylove

    I’ll be the first to admit, routine and structure are important to me. Unfortunately, my brain is like a microchip, and the tiniest grain of sand throws me off my game. My goal for tonight was to do my nails (forgot that my self-care routine puts nail care on Wednesdays, and hair masks are for Tuesdays — took care of that last night, thank you), flat iron my hair, do my laundry, read, take a bath to soothe my muscles, and exfoliate.

    And then… I turned on Netflix. Started a new show called “You.” Gossip Girl is a stalker, a sociopath, I would guess. Chasing after a girl. My only problem is that this dude is pretty cute and super charming. Like THAT is a guy who needs to stalk and obsess over a girl. I mean okay, Ted Bundy was apparently dreamy and girls were all too willing to help him load something into his car. And it doesn’t help that Zac Efron is playing him in a movie this year.

    I want to look up reviews for this show and see what other people thought of it, but I kind of want to not know? I want to decide my every opinion. Reviews for movies started meaning less after they gave “What a Girl Wants” a shoddy review, and THAT was a cinematic masterpiece.

    I feel like I’m not supposed to like this character, Joe Goldberg, but he’s smart, well-read, looks after a little kid who lives in his apartment building, and is slowly removing the toxic people in the girl’s life because she’s a twenty-something who doesn’t know how to do that for herself yet. And yeah, she needs to GET TO THAT PART OF HER LIFE ON HER OWN, JOE, but he is being helpful. I’ve wanted to get rid of my friends’ trashy SOs when they wouldn’t take the initiative to do it themselves.

    Ugh, I probably sound like the girls who swooned over Bundy during his trial. When he was on trial. For MURDER.

    I swear, I’m usually more principled. I’m going to have time to get everything done tonight that I wanted to accomplish, it’ll just be rushed.

    Unless this episode has a cliffhanger. Then my whole Thursday is going to be off after I’m up till 3 AM watching the rest of this show in one foul swoop.

    Unless I go a full 24 hours without sleep and go to the gym right after I finish the show. I think I have another two years to pull that move off with some justice.

    Except I feel like I need a full 18 hours of sleep.

    Someone find me a timeturner. Or a book written by a pro on how to live a 36 hour day in 24 hours.

    It’s a Tuesday

    Posted on by maljoylove

    I was going to write yesterday, but yesterday was not a great day. Do you ever just start a day and know it’s going to be terrible? I woke up feeling so lagged. My workout was mediocre, and I just crawled back into bed when I got home. I didn’t eat breakfast, and had a headache all day. My day only got better when I got home from work!

    That said, when I got home, I started on my second book of the year! That’s right, I finished “Becoming,” Michelle Obama’s memoir. It was a compelling and thoughtful look at her life, both as Michelle Robinson, the Ivy League lawyer turned community outreach coordinator, and as FLOTUS Michelle Obama. She innovated programs to improve nutrition in America’s youth, improved conditions for US Veterans, and helped young women in other countries get access to quality education. Now that’s my kind of woman!

    But onto book two-sday. Get it? I’m sorry.

    It’s called “No Excuses! The Power of Self-Discipline,” by Brian Tracy. It’s been an eye-opening read so far, AND it comes with little philosophy/reflection exercises. Or at least, this chapter does! I thought I might list them here, as sort of a way to track my way through the book:

    1. If your work life and career were ideal, what would they look like? What one discipline could you develop that would help you to achieve it? 
    My ideal career would give me a grandiose office with the opportunity to work from home. I would get to travel to other countries for work, and I would make the big decisions every day. From the sounds of it, I want to be large and in charge! To achieve this, I need to keep climbing the ladder and defying expectations. I want to stand out within my company and grow with it. I have ideas on how I can develop, both personally and within the capacity of the company. It’s on me to propose them, with a plan, and then my supervisors will know that I take initiative and work hard to help others!

    2. If your family life were ideal, what would it look like, and what one discipline would help you the most to make it a reality?
    To be honest, I think my family life is ideal right now! That said, I want my family to grow in a future that feels distant, but really isn’t in the grand scheme of things! I want to be a career mom, and provide a strong, intelligent, hardworking mom to two kids. Ideally, my kids will inherit the ambition that I see in myself and my future husband (the alleged father of my future children), which will translate into good grades and passion projects, whether it’s a sport or a creative passion, though they will hopefully enjoy both, my well-rounded little wonders. Above all though, future lacrosse champions or first chair violinists, all I want for them is to be kind, and happy. I think they will repeat what they see. So it’s on me (and Aaron) to create an atmosphere of love and compassion (and yes, hard work). On a grander scale, I’ll need to participate in our society to create the same atmosphere in the world at large. Our kids will experience the world outside our home more than anything else, and they deserve a world filled with kindness and sunshine. So, in general, a target would be showing kindness: to both myself and others.

    3. If your health were perfect in every way, what disciplines would you have that make it possible?
    Wow, what a doozy. Time for brutal honesty: I’m great at working out regularly. There, I said it! Granted, I have my bad workout days (see the first paragraph of this entry!), but I’ve grown consistent in making regular appearances. The gym employees know me, and I know the AM regulars (a bit of reverie: there’s a girl with red hair who intimidates the heck out of me at the gym I go to now, because she is so strong! I haven’t seen her since the new year started… I hope she’s okay! Maybe her work schedule changed so she works out in the evenings). And yet, my relationship with food is just… I’d call it a downer, if it didn’t make my weight go up so much! If my health were perfect in every way, I’d be drinking more water, eating more salad, and eating way less chocolate. And cheese. Yikes. I’d be way more disciplined in my eating. I’ve gotten better about water since 2019. I’m going to keep working on that, but I definitely need to develop discipline with my food choices. That’s actually why I got this book in the first place!

    4. If your financial situation were ideal today, what one discipline would you have that would help you the most? 
    Okay, I got this: saving. I’m in a tough spot, with a massive student debt and a car payment. I try to not spend like crazy, but I’m not saving like I should. I’m going to change that, right now. Just sent my savings account some money. Now I have it set up in my account, so I’ll send some money every now and then when I think of it. And I’ll be sure to think of it more.

    5. Why aren’t you already as successful as you would like to be, and what one discipline would help you the most to achieve all your goals?
    Wow, rude, guy. I’m 24, okay? Most of the kids my age have student debt and ambitious career visions they haven’t accomplished yet. Or they’re internet personalities who could buy me using their AdSense money. I’m taking it all in stride, because I know that great things take time (would you rather have a five-year scotch or a fifteen-year? I’m just sayin’). That said, I’m certainly not loitering! I do feel lazy and unmotivated sometimes, and I think that hinders me. I want to learn more coding languages just to be more of an asset at work, and I want to be as fit as some of the people in my circle (fitness seems to be growing lately amongst my peers… thanks, FLOTUS). Staying the course and reminding myself why I’m doing this would be a great step. Does that count as a discipline?

    6. What one skill could you develop that would help you to realize more of your goals?
    I gotta be honest, writing it out like this helps! I’m not great at journaling, as I tend to just write when inspiration strikes. I know that almost every successful person will tell me to write EVERY day. I think taking up that practice would go a long way in helping me get to where I want to be with my goals.

    7. If you could wave a magic wand and be completely disciplined in one area, which one discipline would have the greatest positive impact on your life?
    I know how vapid this sounds, but I think the one described in step 3 would make the biggest impact. I’ve lost weight dramatically before, and people who knew me before the weight loss said that afterwards I was way more confident and self-assured. I was less manic, and more me. I feel like I hid a lot and acted different when I was heavier, but when I lost the weight I just felt better about me. I guess that translated into a stronger (maybe less obnoxious? Weird? I don’t know people) personality. I think the mental strength that would come in getting the discipline that inhibits me from being my best self health-wise would manifest itself in my work, in my family life, and everything in between.

    Okay, Brian Tracy, if you were trying to get me to figure out that this discipline was the one I needed to work on the most in order to get started, mission accomplished! I’ll do it.

    My workout today was fire. My eating was not (I mentioned cheese and chocolate for a reason). Tomorrow, that changes. Game on, Brian!

    I’m going to go shower, paint my nails, then read. I feel ready to conquer the world… then go to bed at 10 PM. Like a boss.


    Day 3 and She’s Worn Out

    Posted on by maljoylove

    I got home from work at 5:50 PM and promptly COLLAPSED. I had a great start to my morning, shy of forgetting my headphone drive at home. I woke up early and went to the gym, completed a great workout, came home for a hot shower, did my makeup, made a delicious smoothie… but after I got to work, things started heading south.

    I ate over my calorie deficit today, which isn’t the greatest feeling in the world. Work really drained me today! Things started picking up now that the holidays are over, and I kept getting case after case, problems to resolve, phone calls to take. I started feeling headache pains around 2. My brain battery REALLY started to drain after that, until I finally got home and threw on some PJs and took a power nap. I feel a lot better now, and I’m wondering what caused the on-rush of fatigue. I’m sure it was the early wake-up and the onslaught of work.

    I feel like I can barely focus on screens anymore. If only my work life and happy time didn’t involve screens! Sometimes I think about removing my social media accounts and just living life offline. I don’t know how I’d enjoy that. A part of me thinks that I compare myself to others in the digital ether too much, and a break from the Instagram models and Youtube paradises would do my mental health some good. That said, it is not hard for me to sit back and be lazy. I think if I didn’t see all the people online, working their butts off at the gym and their work to have the lives they lead, I’d lose all motivation. Oh my gosh, am I competitive?

    That said, I’d love to list some positives: Though I ate over my calorie deficit today, it was all mostly good stuff! My morning smoothie had fruit juice and two kinds of fruit. On top of that, it was made with my favorite sweetener: maple syrup! Bet you were wondering when my love of maple came into the picture.

    I spent about an hour last night making my lunch for today: a vegan pasta with red cabbage. The cooked red cabbage made my pasta look purple, and it was so pretty and it made me happy. Colorful foods make me happy.

    Courtesy of “Vegan on the Cheap” by Robin Roberts. Her recipe calls for GREEN cabbage, but my store didn’t have any so I went with red instead! Live dangerously, kids.

    I’m a little bit less than halfway through “Becoming.” If I read during every lull in my day, I can make it to Saturday with a completed book! How cool would that be? With that, I’m gonna go take my make-up off, get my “look” ready for tomorrow, and read till I sleep. Sweet dreams!