Here’s a quick rundown of what my week looked like:
- Multiple coworkers tried to take advantage of me (professionally).
- My favorite social media influencer left her platform.
- Her departure sparked a string of demands that people of her calibur on the platform should leave, with some of my favorite influencers being among them, for previous behavior (“she shouldn’t leave, THEY should leave) that I didn’t know about until today.
- People have come forward with accusations of sexual and racially charged misconduct about people in higher positions of power.
- Governor Cuomo (of New York) declared that Floridians are not welcome to visit the state without two weeks of quarantine after arrival re: COVID-19 case spikes (about 9,000 cases have sprung up in the past week). That eliminates my ability to go see my grandparents and best friend in two weeks.
- I’ve made some dietary changes that are yielding great physical results, but the slightest inconvenience spikes my mood from 1 to volcano eruption rage.
I am emotionally and mentally fried. I want more from my job and I want more from my life, and
My mother, sister and I made plans a month ago to take this weekend to go to Costa D’este in Vero Beach. It’s a midpoint between my home and theirs, and we’ve gone once a year for the past three years. It’s beautiful, quiet, and a good place for us to have girl time.
Our initial plan was to check in at four, to have dinner at 5:30. I told my office that I would be taking a half day to get there on time. Two weeks ago, my mother told me that with my sister’s work schedule and her work schedule, they would be arriving closer to six.
With that in mind, I could have worked a full day of work, and taken my last hour of the day as my “lunch hour.” I didn’t. I kept my half day. I needed those extra four hours.
In those four hours, I had a nice lunch with my husband, took a nice long shower, put on makeup, and drove down to Vero listening to a podcast about “The Office.” I arrived an hour before my mom and sister, and took the opportunity to walk the beach by myself.
It was everything I needed. When all else fails, take to the sea.
The weekend nurtured my soul, and seeing my mom and sister made me so happy. Coming back, I’m still feeling a little drained. I don’t think my big problems can be solved by two days of surf and sun. That said, listening to the sound of the waves, laughing with my family, and chocolate chip pancakes are a great bandage on my heart.
2020 has officially unzipped me. I kept a brave face for as long as I could, and I am by no means giving up, but I officially feel fractures in my soul.
I want to use this opportunity to regroup, retool, and rebuild my perspective. I have a lot of work to do on my mind, and finding out how to move forward in the best possible way. I believe life doesn’t throw you anything you can’t handle, so I’m looking forward to the challenge.
I would just like another minute to do that, please.