I feel very grateful and full of love tonight. Let’s talk about it.
Tonight, I am very sleepy. I have to drink a lot of water between now and bedtime. All I want to do… is none of it. I want to take a luxurious shower and go to bed.
Instead, I have to read, write, and chug exorbitant amounts of water first. I definitely feel my zest and eagerness is not at its peak right now, but I think that’s just the way life is. Also, I didn’t do as much as I thought I would get done today! I went for a bike ride, food shopping, and binged “Shrill,” which dropped its third and final season yesterday. When I think about it, I have so much TV to catch up on right now! I wish I knew why I felt so lazy today. With that in mind, let’s put a bit more energy in at the end of the day, so I can at least put something onto it.
That something is appreciation.
My life since lockdown started however many months ago (thirteen? Ish?) has been filled with a lot of sad moments. I miss my grandparents, I miss my friends, I miss layovers and spontaneous stops for smoothies and just dropping into Disney World. However, I am so grateful to have had this time alone with Aaron, and with our cats.
Everyone can laugh at me for becoming a “crazy cat lady,” but it’s from the heart. As I sit here now, Rosa is asleep on the cat tower on the stairs, and Jake is sleeping on my chair. MY chair. He prefers to curl up on the chair that smells like me. At night, he falls asleep on my pillow.
Last night, as I was just POUNDING water into my system, Rosa daintily jumped into my lap to snuggle. On tough work days, where I truly need (and take) a minute to cry, Jake and Rosa occasionally walk over and leap onto my desk. In fact, Rosa likes to climb onto my desk every day. According to Aaron, my computer mouse “floating” across the screen is reminiscent to birds, and it makes Rosa chitter and swipe at the screen. It is the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen.
They have their annoying moments, to be sure. Rosa will START by staring at my screen, but then climb onto my keyboard, making it impossible to type and pressing her paw on the “F” button, so my message turns into “Thank you for chosffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff”. Not so professional. Jake, like the average velociraptor, has figured out how to open doors, and has taken to opening and closing the cabinets in my bathroom at 5:30 in the morning.
Despite those little weirdisms, Jake and Rosa are so freaking cute. They have such big eyes and little feet. They are quiet, curious, and above all, sweet. I didn’t grow up in a cat family, and I think everyone was very disturbed that my Labrador energy manifested in adopting cats last year. Truthfully, I feel like spending the past year snuggling with them at any given moment has made my heart grow three sizes. I’m a genuinely loving person (and humble too… I kid, but some days I do feel so happy that I want to give strangers on the street a big hug), and getting to pick up Jake and Rosa to rub their bellies, play with their toe beans, or just dance in circles with them has been an outlet to get that love in my heart out into the world.
I know they’re cats, and they probably often think “Ew, this tall human who occasionally feeds me is singing at me AGAIN.” A small part of me thinks they recognize me as their “mother” and treat me with affection accordingly. If you ask Aaron, he’ll say Jake is a Momma’s Boy, based on how he walks around me, but Rosa regularly settles into my arms, too. Also, Jake goes back and forth between sleeping on MY pillow and sleeping on a pillow next to Aaron’s head. Alternatively, Rosa goes back and forth between sleeping on my feet and Aaron’s. They’re snuggly, and I think that can be attributed to both spending a full year with both of us… and the fact that both of us are so filled with love for them.
If I love my CATS this much, imagine the kind of mother I’ll be to a human. Gosh, I’m going to be a lot!
On a similar note, I love my mom. She is the one who first filled my life with love and endless hugs. Even now when I go home I am practically glued to her side. She is the warmest, kindest person I have ever met, and I’m so happy to have her as my mom.
With Mother’s Day tomorrow, I wanted to dedicate a bit of love to them. My mom filled my life with love and sunshine, and now I can give that back in a real way. I’m so grateful to have her. I’m so happy to have Jake and Rosa. Now if you’ll excuse me, the litter boxes are in desperate need of emptying. All in a mother’s day’s work.