I lost sight of what I set out to do, but I found it yesterday. Hence, epiphany!
The past two weeks, I’ve reflected on how unmotivated I feel to blog. My time has been so preoccupied by other things, and with my many goals for this year taking up so much of my energy, I am drained by the end of the day! Sitting at my computer, pushing myself to do something I didn’t want to do, didn’t feel so valuable. In fact, I considered outright giving up, and taking a break from blogging.
However, that goes against my mentality about writing in general. It’s a muscle that requires regular workouts. To some, it’s not even a muscle, it’s a reflex, a habit. My compulsion to write SOMETHING each week has proved that this practice, in regularity, has stuck. To clarify, the guilt I feel at the idea of NOT writing reflects that this practice has become habit.
The combined lack of motivation and burnout I feel about all my goals this year (oh, yes, that’s a thing), captured my mind this weekend. I don’t remember what I was doing (perhaps I was showering), but it occurred to me that the solution was right under my nose.
The epiphany: I started my blog as a way to track my quest to “having it all.” When was the last time I truly tracked it?
Certainly, I have my monthly resolutions check-in, but those are almost post-mortem. They’re a summary after-the-fact, after a month of work. Why haven’t I written more about the actual day-to-day aspect of the journey?
Thus, my inspiration has returned, in full force.
Epiphany: Having It All
What does it mean to have it all? I think that everyone has different interpretations on the matter. It’s a subjective concept, for sure! However, when I think about who “that girl” is, the version of me that I want to be, I see this:
- Healthy hair, that I know how to style with a flat iron
- Ability to put on a full face of makeup, while acknowledging that I don’t do it often, because I glow without it
- Well read. I think about this offhand comment from an episode of “Orange is the New Black.” Secondly, I visualize early Rory Gilmore when it pops in my head. I consider it one of the highest compliments, and one I wish I could say about myself.
- Polyglot. Specifically, I’d like to be able to survive on every continent. The rest of the world seems to speak multiple languages before ten years of age! Why can’t I?
- Fit. I’d love to be the person who does yoga, rock climbing, and alternates between a run and a cycle every day. In addition, I’d like to be good on horseback, and have a wicked forehand.
- Put together, stylistically. I don’t think I need to be Blair Waldorf or Kim Kardashian, but I’d love to have my own style, and always look good when I leave the house (or even when I’m just lounging in my house!).
- Cooks well. Bakes even better. I want to be prepared for a fifties-style dinner party at any given moment.
- Jury’s still out on whether or not children are in my future. However, if they are, I want to be a PTA mom. Bake sale, school dance setup, post-soccer carpool driver.
- Traveled. I truly want to see the world, in all its beauty. In my future, I want to say “Oh yes, I got that vase from this lovely little boutique in Provence.” I want to know a “hole in the wall place with the BEST spaghetti” in three different cities. Honesty time: I truly love pasta.
- Good at chess.
- Independently wealthy.
- Play guitar and piano.
- Change a tire, jumpstart a car, and change my oil.
There are other things on this list, but these are the ones that immediately jump to mind. Quite a few of these items should come as no surprise, considering how often I talk about some of them! Clearly, I’m all talk. Actions speak louder than words! I love to act!
To summarize, this epiphany helped restart my motivation for my resolutions, and my life goals in general. In addition, I remember now that this blog should serve as an ongoing journal for progress through those goals! I love a good accountability booster. Onward!