French women have a certain confidence and easygoing nature that comes across as effortless and alluring. I do too, but I think I’m ready to double down on it.
75 Hard has enabled me to read more and take more of a notice in what, and how, I eat. For both, I have finished a book on the French diet (and am a little over a third of the way through another). Based on both texts, which consist of both anecdotal and scientific analysis on why French women are always so thin and chic, it’s more than just healthy choices and slower consumption. It’s a whole mindset! It’s how you carry yourself and how you perceive beauty.
A good example of this: when women reach the age of puberty, they are taken to an aesthetician, who can guide them on how to better take care of their skin. US women are brought to a dermatologist. Just the slight difference of beauty vs. disease exemplifies how they value a woman enhancing their natural beauty, rather than throwing medicine at a problem and giving off the feeling of “Something is wrong with you.”
Don’t get it twisted: Doctors are essential. We need them. I was raised by two of them. But any healthcare worker will tell you that medicines and prescriptions are a poor substitution, a last resort, for eating well and staying active. Can you guess what else French women maintain?
In France, businesses typically close in the afternoon so employees can have a two hour lunch break. Can you imagine that? You finish your morning tasks, then walk to your favorite bistro twenty minutes away from the office, enjoy a nice long lunch of quality food, and then make your way back. Add that in with the 3-5PM siesta typically seen in Spain and that’s an ideal workday.
I’ve only been practicing the French diet (as it were) for the past three days, and I already find myself feeling full, and capable of conquering my demons (okay, demon, singular. His name is Gary. He lives in my brain and tells me to eat handfuls of chocolate chips from the bag like a goblin at 10:30 in the morning and 2:30 in the afternoon even though I’m not hungry. I do not like Gary).
I still catch myself holding the fork while I’m chewing, and I’ve enlisted Aaron’s help with that today, but I’m striving for something I can maintain. Maintaining good habits like eating slowly and intentionally when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m full, and drinking more water? That can help me lose weight? What a freakin’ concept!
That said, let’s shift gears from weight loss for just a minute: while reading this second book, I stumbled across a passage that has me reflecting on my own sense of identity. Read below:
Personal style is makeup, hairstyle, a signature perfume, how a woman walks, talks, gazes at the man across the table, the tone of her voice, the words she chooses, her choices in books, films, music, how she spends her time, decorates her home, cooks, how and what she eats… [sic] it is how a French woman feels about herself.
I love taking time here to reflect on who I am, putting myself to pen and paper (or… soul to screen. Hm.). This passage made me want to take stock in myself, once again, if only just for me! So, let’s pretend that was a Q + A. Here’s my A’s!
What do you do for makeup?
Skinimalism and I are bffs now! I wear foundation only when I feel like putting in that effort. Aside from that, I love my cream blush, my slightly darker lip liner, mascara, and brow pencil. I’ll add a touch of highlighter if I’ve got the time! Natural, sunkissed beauty all the way for me.
What do you do for your hairstyle?
This one is tricky, because I feel like what I do now is not what I’m going to do in the future. In fact, I already know what future me’s hair looks like. It’s my same dark color, but a less-layered version of what Elizabeth Banks wears as Avery Jessup in “30 Rock.” That’s another aspect of it: French women may look to others for inspiration, but they ultimately make their style their own. For now, I prefer a good blowout or flat iron hair. If I’m working and my hair is in my face, it all goes up in a ponytail as high as the sky! I’m thinking I’ll do a stylish high ponytail for my cousin’s wedding in January. I’m getting ahead of myself here!
What’s your signature perfume?
I have an answer to this one, but it’s layered. No, literally. I wear three different Victoria’s Secret perfumes (Bombshell, Bombshell Intense, and Heavenly) and I mix them together. I also use a rose-scented lotion after I shower/shave. Funny story: I put on my scents this afternoon and then walked into Aaron’s office, and as my fragrance entered the room, he told me I smelled French. If I didn’t have a natural glow already, I sure did hearing that!
However, on special occasions, I love love LOVE my Tiffany & Co. fragrance. Why? Well, it’s a beautiful scent, obviously, but it’s the scent I wore on my wedding day.
How do you walk?
The world is my runway! MY WHOLE LIFE IS THUNDER. It actually is different, depending on where I am. When I’m alone, I tend to walk slowly, almost aimlessly, lost in my own thoughts. I think it’s endearing. Hustling joggers think it’s annoying. If I’m with people, I pick up my pace! Perhaps I should develop a signature walk. My mind immediately goes to Marilyn Monroe. I do have the hips for it!
How do you talk?
I am a very fast speaker. My elocution could certainly use some work, in conversation. It has gotten better over time, however! In casual conversation, I’m fine, but in stressful situations, I speed up my pace. I go fast when I’m stressed. WRITE THAT DOWN, there’s a test later!
How do you gaze at a man across the table?
I am blushing to write about this one, but I do think it is telling. There is a whole Ted Talk (and it’s one of my favorites) on how seduction plays a role in our lives. Granted, I’m a married woman, I’m not “seducing people” much these days! However, if I had to define it, I’m a proponent of prolonged eye contact. Throw in a Penny Lane-esque slow smile, and they’ll hang on your every word, regardless of gender!
What’s your tone of voice?
I am an expert at commanding a room with my voice. Blame my inner theatre kid (also, free her. She’s chomping at the bit to learn an 8 count). I actually think that a lot of the women in my family don’t suffer the problem of being too timid. My mom may not be a big fan of public speaking, but at home, I can hear her planning her day from the other side of the house. It’s comforting. Wow, psychological window unlocked. I think I need a minute.
Nevertheless, I have always admired Meryl Streep’s interpretation of Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. Inspired by Clint Eastwood, Miranda speaks quietly, like you have to lean in and give her your full attention when she speaks. It’s authoritative, and intimidating, without making you feel like you’re being punished by an angry teacher. But, that might work for her, not me. Or maybe it’s a confidence thing? Wow, another psychological window unlocked. Where am I?
What words do you choose in a conversation?
I am an English major. I scored well on the reading and writing ACT and SAT exams. In middle school, I bought a book called “100 Words to Make You Sound Smart.” I love words (words, words). I take it as a source of pride, in fact, in that I am frequently complimented on my vocabulary and my articulateness.
Describe your taste in books, films, and music.
My taste in books is honestly very particular. I love my nonfiction. Books on true crime, self help, history, and biographies are my wheelhouse. I love learning about other people that way! I tend to look to movies for fiction adventures. My tastes in film and music are more diverse. I will watch, and dance to, anything. That said, a good horror movie on a rainy day is an afternoon well spent. My “Liked” playlist on Spotify is mostly calming piano music right now (though acoustic indie rock has its place, too). I’m open minded and enjoy both heightened awareness and serenity? I never thought of it that way.
How do you spend your time?
I feel like more often than not, lately, I spend a lot of time staying active! I go on walks, I ride my bike, I clean and run errands. That said, I tend to laze about on weekday evenings. I should be spending that time on coding, but I find myself drinking water and watching Youtube instead! However, to be more specific, when I’m not being active, I’m watching a new TV show, baking, or writing. I was going to add “walking a Disney park,” but that’s pretty active. You don’t understand. My Fitbit counted over 3k calories burned just by spending the day at Animal Kingdom last week. French women are generally more active than the average American woman (look to the walkability/bikeability of their cities and their lack of massive highways), and considering my part of the country is ninety-percent highway, and I’m actually doing okay!
How do you decorate your home?
The truth is, I don’t have much to say here. I haven’t been able to decorate a home much to my liking! Right now, Aaron and I go with what’s practical and cheap. I think that when I have the budget to better pick what I want for my home, I will have a house that’s cozy, modern, and green… with a marble bathroom. Wait, is having a marble bathroom the tradition in France? I need to study interior design!
How do you cook?
I think this is my favorite question, because I’ve been thinking about it lately: I don’t cook often. Aaron tends to cook for me. He truly enjoys cooking and is very particular in his preparation. He is very speedy in the kitchen. I take my time. Recipes that take thirty minutes could take me ninety minutes. Okay, maybe I’m not THAT slow, but you get my point. For a lifestyle that encourages slow eating, I have slow cooking to go along with it!
How, and what, do you eat?
This diet has made me look inward about how and what I eat! I’ve thought more about how fast I eat, and how I always eat in front of a screen. At work it’s more of a convenience (I like working through lunch so I can use my lunch hour to run errands, go to the gym, do chores, or nap, if I need it!), but during dinner it’s more of a crutch. Aaron likes to turn his brain off for thirty minutes to watch a show while we eat. I can certainly indulge in that brain numbness for that half hour, but I will make a bigger effort to take my eyes off the screen each time I take a bite. Remembering to put down my fork between bites has been an eye-opening challenge!
As far as what I eat… uh. Yikes. French women go for quality ingredients, foods that won’t last three weeks in the fridge, the way processed foods can. I didn’t realize how much processed food I was eating! My Martin’s bread, for toasting? PROCESSED. My Cocoa Puffs, for a quick chocolatey breakfast? PROCESSED. My Halo Top ice cream? Good golly, miss Molly. French women eat lighter options, with high-quality ingredients.
Apparently, even cheddar is barely considered a cheese! That I cannot understand. I defy them to indulge in Cabot Cheddar! Maybe that’s the exception to the rule. I won’t deny that brie is… other worldly. Noting the differences has me looking at my grocery lists differently. I’m still not a big meat eater, and I’ll stick with my fruits and veggies… but maybe I should cut back on my Gardein Mandarin Chicken. Definitely stop getting the frozen egg rolls, too. Do they make organic ice cream? Something tells me Ben and Jerry’s is organic.
How do you feel about yourself?
I actually think I am doing okay. Honestly. I am a good person, a good friend, and I work hard. That said, I have a lot of room for improvement. My follow through on my goals needs work, and I could always call my grandparents more. That’s just scratching the surface! As far as my image goes, I feel ambivalent. Some days, I wake up in the morning shocked that I look this good. Other mornings I wake up and know that looking in the mirror is just going to put me in a bad mood. Lately, it’s been the former. Turns out when I eat better, I feel better. The inside matches the outside, more often than not. You ever hear anything so mind-blowing?
French women (and really, French society as a whole) have certainly tapped into something that we could learn from – activeness, intention, and mindfulness. I bet they rely less on quick fixes and more on lifestyle habits! When I think of women that I admire, they have all those qualities. In college, I knew a girl who intimidated the heck out of me: her classwork was immense, her personality was electric, and she was, yes, beautiful. When I asked her (in a totally normal way) how she did it all, she said that she was good at time management. How’s that for a good lifestyle habit? I suppose French women can serve as an inspiration, a motivation, to what I already knew… and what I already possess. C’est magnifique!