April 2022 Resolutions

April 2022 was an epic trainwreck.

To clarify, when I say April 2022 was an epic trainwreck, I refer exclusively to my resolutions. In actuality, April 2022 was kind of amazing! Firstly, it technically began with a 5K. Secondly, I got to see my family in person, and go to a great concert with one of them! Lastly, I concluded April 2022 with a trip to see friends I haven’t seen in a year (some of them, more than a year). April 2022 was a month filled with love and happiness. 

So why am I here? Why do I dread writing this post? Because a truth lies unacknowledged: with regard to my goals for 2022, April 2022 was a dumpster fire. 

April 2022 Resolutions

1. Wash dishes on Wednesdays Tuesdays and Saturdays.

   Habit = achieved! Dishes pile up far less frequently than previous years. It brings me such peace.

2. Watch 4 movies a month from “1001 Movies to See Before You Die.”

   Technically I met this goal, but only technically. I watched 3 movies I had never seen, and one I’ve seen once before. I had the opportunity to achieve this goal on an airplane, but I was seated next to a child. If “A Fish Called Wanda” had explicit content, I didn’t want to offend him nor his mother. Instead, I watched “Jurassic World.” Is that too violent for a seven year old to get a glimpse of on an airplane? He had dinosaurs on his suitcase, so I think I’m in the clear. None of the movies were sad, so the goal from last month also checks off! 

3. Take a self-care bath weekly.

   I think I only took three self care baths this month. However, they were all great! I did manage to clean the tub out after each bath as well, rather than just waiting until before I want to take a bath to give it a thorough clean. 

4. Clean my bathroom once a month.

   My bathroom got a deep clean this month! To boot, I redesignated an “over cabinet door” caboodle to hold my skin products and deodorant. Now, not only do my products get put back, their designated “shelf” lies out of sight! My sink and counter has never looked cleaner. 

5. Wash my bedsheets every two weeks.

   Aaron thinks I’ve gone nuts with wanting to wash the sheets once a week/every two weeks. I’m the one seeing the results! I’ve gone to bed each Sunday with a fully clean and dressed bed. It feels good! 

6. Tidy my bedroom/closet every three days.

   I have completely slumped here! Granted, it’s more like every week, rather than twice a week, so my bedroom in general has looked cleaner. However, I know I can do better. My closet is starting to get lil’ piles that only I can see.

7. Start every morning (and end every workday) with 15 minutes of yoga.

   This one just isn’t happening. In fact, I barely woke up before 7:30 during the weekdays this month! I’m so tired. I wonder if not working out regularly throws my energy out of balance. That would create a cycle of tired because I don’t work out, and I don’t work out because I’m too tired.

8. Send everyone I love a birthday card.

   A done deal! Birthday wishes abound and I’m prepared to keep it going.

9. Call my grandparents/email my grandpa once a month.

   I called my grandma. It made her day. In addition, it made my day too!

10. Actually learn ASL, sharpen my Spanish, and learn conversational French.

    I watched the new season of “Elite” over the course of two days! It’s great to read the subtitles and understand it in Spanish, but I know I can do more. In addition, I haven’t touched my ASL videos nor my conversational French. What a disappointment.

11. Fully learn Javascript (with a focus on standard, Typescript, and Angular), PHP, AWS, and Kubernetes.

    My work with PHP continues! I’m still on the previous class as last month, and I haven’t resumed Javascript. However, I’ve dipped my toes into Git and Docker at work! Docker is similar to Kubernetes, so it’s not too bad of a start.

12. Get to my goal weight by December 1st.

    April 2022 was my worst month possibly ever. I have gained so much weight. I’m at the point that I’ve decided to make this my full time job. I’ve decided to shirk all responsibilities, all other desires, and focus solely on this goal. I’d like to make some room for reading, writing and… r-watching movies once a week. However, everything else seems to be a distraction. However, I promised that I’d keep track of my weight monthly, so… brace for impact.
    Goal Weight: Current Weight:

13. Start, and complete my writing projects.

    April brings “Escapril!” I wrote a poem each day, and made decent progress with my first treatment. However, I haven’t finished it as I had hoped. That’s disappointing. I want to write, I do. I just feel too tired to do anything, and too sad about my size to focus on anything else.

April 2022 Final Reflection: Time for a Break

April 2022 feels like such a failure. What are good are the little things if the big things don’t get done? I’m taking a break from everything, including this blog, I think. Taking time to come up with blog post ideas, thoroughly writing something thoughtful, and proofing them for grammar/spelling/SEO feels like two-three hours that could be spent on a walk, meal prepping, or just writing creatively. I have about two months where I won’t be going anywhere; no trips, no vacations, nothing special. I’d like to take that time to just focus on my weight loss. I’m out of breath doing basic things. I really have to prioritize this one big thing, even if it kills me (alternatively: I do nothing and THAT kills me!). I think I’ll come back to document the movies I watched in April, but I don’t know what will come next. Writing when inspired? I’m distracted and unfocused. My well has run dry. April 2022 showed me what really matters. It’s time for me to put my eyes on the “prize:” staying alive.