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I had every intention of finishing this movie challenge with spooky, scary skeletons, nightmares and chainsaws.

Then I read “American Psycho.”

It’s all fun and games when it’s Christian Bale murdering people mostly offscreen and talking about his skin care. I’ll talk about this more in my books post for this month, but the violence and sexual gore of the novel is so absurdly extreme that I was genuinely uncomfortable listening to it on Audible. In short, it’s a very good book, but I’m stripping away some of the truly gory, serial killer movies.

So here we are: teenage girl terror. Today we’ll be looking at The Craft, Ginger Snaps, and Jennifer’s Body. Nothing like teen angst and vengeful bloodshed to take your mind off… yuppie angst and bloodshed. Allons-y!

The Craft (1996)
I said “Let’s go” in French, because this movie practically begins in a high school French class (and I’m pretty sure the higher power referenced in this movie is of French lore, too). The Craft is about a group of high school aged witches befriending the new girl, Sarah, to be the fourth in their coven. They are led by emo witch supreme, Nancy, in a tour de force performance by Fairuza Balk. The fact that she hasn’t had an Amy Adams level of roles in the past twenty years is borderline insulting. Nancy is flanked by Bonnie and Rochelle, who are bullied for their appearance (Bonnie is covered in burn scars, and Rochelle is a perfectly lovely looking girl, but she is targeted for her “nappy” hair). Sarah is seduced (or should I say nearly seduced) by Chris, played by an aloof Skeet Ulrich. IDK when he’s cuter, this movie or Scream, which also stars Neve Campbell, who plays Bonnie!
The coven invoke the spirit of the all-powerful Manon to make their problems go away: Bonnie wishes to be beautiful inside and out, Rochelle wishes for Laura (her bully, portrayed by Christine Taylor, who hasn’t aged since this movie. That’s the real witchcraft at play here), Sarah wishes for Chris to fall in love with her, and Nancy wishes for the power of Manon (but really, to no longer be white trash). Sure enough, Chris begins to follow Sarah around like a puppy, Bonnie debuts burn-free shoulders, and Rochelle watches with delight as Laura slowly begins to lose all of her beautifully bleached blonde hair. Nancy witnesses her violent stepfather strike her alcoholic mother, and her screams cause a cosmic reaction that kills her stepfather, leaving them with an insurance policy big enough to purchase a beautiful apartment overlooking the Bay. All seems well, at first… but as things are with black magic, nothing gold can stay.
I fell in love with this movie roughly seven minutes into it. The music alone is so perfectly nineties riot grrl angst. If I went to that high school, I would have been friends with the coven, honestly. I mean, they shoplift, so I probably wouldn’t hang out with them after school much, but… lab partners? Come to my house to study? My mom will order pizza if you wanna stay for diner!
That said, they’re all a bit mean to each other. All of them bully the witch girls, and the witch girls don’t seem to harbor much kindness to the people around them, either. I guess this was before “A Walk to Remember,” where the bullied rise above the cattiness? Also, I feel like they would need to alter Bonnie’s plotline a little bit, because her scars are almost entirely on her back. They go to Catholic school. No one can see them.
I can see why this movie is so beloved, and why they would want to make a sequel fourteen years later (oh yes, allegedly that’s happening, pandemic notwithstanding). Each actress in the coven did a great job, but they tokenized Rochelle’s character, both within the universe of the film and apparently within our universe. Rachel True (the actress who portrays Rochelle) spoke out after the fact that she wasn’t included in the promotion of the film, and that the other actresses had to say something to get her to be included in press events. I know it was over twenty years ago, but for a film that is so feminist and passes the Bechdel test, I would have hoped for some deeper-level intersectionality.
Nevertheless, we must consider the spook factor: there’s a lot of snake iconography, a couple gross-out moments with bugs, and yes, your classic witch cliches of flying and curses, but this film is honestly more of a dark drama/thriller than a horror movie. Coming-of-age, even, with a mystic twist. 10/10 would watch outside of spooky season.

Ginger Snaps (2001)
You know what’s fun? This movie is about two sisters, and both actresses who portray the lead characters had roles in “Supernatural.” It’s apt, too! The whole movie plays out like an extend “Supernatural” episode. There’s scary monsters. They’re co-dependent on each other. They’re in Canada. It doesn’t get more “Supernatural” than that (okay, “Supernatural” takes place in the States, but it’s mostly filmed in Vancouver and it all looks like Canada. It counts).
In a vein similar to Carrie, the eponymous Ginger’s arrival into womanhood via the beginning of her first menstrual cycle is the catalyst for the events of this film. Considering I’ve made changes, hoping for less gore and violence with the heavy presence of both in American Psycho bumming me out a lot, this film has a LOT of blood and guts. It opens with a child playing with the bloody foot of his gored out dog. There are so many shots of gored out dogs in this movie.
Ginger and her sister Brigitte are isolationists in their high school. Ginger is older by about a year, and Brigitte skipped a grade to be put in the same level as her. They are made fun of for being weirdos, but their attitude, much like that of the coven in The Craft, is equally embittered (it vaguely reminds me of this 30 Rock moment).
Their quiet Canadian neighborhood is being held hostage by a vicious beast that has been killing everyone’s dogs. Brigitte and Ginger sneak out of the house to kidnap the dog of one of their primary bullies as a prank. However, Ginger’s scent attracts the monster! Ginger is attacked, before local pot dealer Sam accidentally runs the beast over with his car. Soon Ginger starts to experience a new kind of change, one that will divide her and Brigitte in ways they never thought possible.
This movie treads the line between black comedy and horror very carefully. The girls are foaming at the mouth with sarcasm. The straight-laced wholesome parents just don’t understand. Sam, who befriends Brigitte, is prepared with a quip. Sam has similar shades of JD from Heathers, only he manages to be the only redeemable male character in this movie, as opposed to a psycho who thrives on chaos. Hey, in 2001, being a drug dealer made you shady. Now, in the right state, you’re making great money and like, that’s not THE WORST money you could make.
Ginger Snaps culminates in a final battle unlike anything I’ve ever seen with this kind of monster. It’s tense, and leaves room for every outcome. The film hits its climax, and then ends, where The Craft had a falling action after its own climactic showdown. I don’t know if I would watch this one again, because bloody animals make me uncomfortable. Still, hats off to them for creativity.

Jennifer’s Body (2009)
This movie is my hipster claim-to-fame. I liked this when it came out, I liked it when people forgot about it, and I have stood nobly by its side as it’s gotten the credit it deserved ten years later. This movie was at peak popularity for Megan Fox. In a manner that is now cringeworthy, all people could talk about back then was how hot she was. She made every attempt to stand up for herself and got labeled “difficult,” and her career hasn’t really been the same since. That said, I would hope that this film is something she is still proud of, because it has since become an iconic piece of feminist horror, and developed a cult following. Again. CREDIT WELL DESERVED.
Megan Fox is paired with Mamma Mia!’s Amanda Seyfried, portraying Jennifer Check and Anita “Needy” Lesnicki respectively, best friends in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. Needy is a red-faced nerd, with dorky glasses and a quiet demeanor. I mean, they did what they could to make Amanda Seyfried seem significantly unattractive when compared to Jennifer. That said, for all that Jennifer has perfect skin, shiny hair, plump lips, and a body to die for (literally), Jennifer has to eyeroll her way around Needy and her boyfriend, Chip (played by Johnny Simmons, who I remember fondly as “I’m Neil” from “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”).
Jennifer drags Needy to the only bar in town to see Low Shoulder, a band she found on Myspace (yes, MYSPACE), because the lead singer is gorgeous. The lead singer, by the way, was originally to be portrayed by Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy. This casting did not happen, but a Fall Out Boy poster features prominently on Jennifer’s wall as a subtle tribute. During the band’s performance, a fire erupts, and the band quickly bails as the bar burns to the ground with patrons and staff inside (some of the patrons are other high-schoolers).
Jennifer, traumatized by the fire, escapes with the band, leaving Needy to get home alone. From that night on, Jennifer is… different. Turns out, Low Shoulder would do just about anything to make it to the big times… even sacrifice a virgin. But what happens when the virgin you sacrifice to the devil isn’t a virgin?
I remember liking this movie because it seemed mostly void of overplayed high school cliches. Yes, there’s a climactic moment at a spring dance, and it suffers slightly from “I hate this town” syndrome, but the school isn’t super divided by cliques. A jock dies in the fire, and Jonah, another jock, openly cries in class over the loss, accepting a “nerd”‘s sympathetic shoulder touch for comfort. There’s no gaggle of cheerleaders that Jennifer associates with over Needy. Everyone, for the most part, gets along. Despite the obvious unreal plot points, it felt (at that time) like a more accurate depiction of what I felt high school was like for me.
Megan and Amanda have incredible chemistry in this film, and it’s kind of a testament to their talent that they aren’t best friends in real life. That said, Adam Brody sheds his indie loving Seth Cohen prepster look to take on the guyliner and “edgy” tattoos of Nikolai, the lead singer of Low Shoulder. Equally self-involved, with none of the outward paralyzing self-doubt. Sounds like perfect Satan fodder.
Seeing as how this movie has lived rent-free in my mind for the past ten years, I have multiple thoughts on it. For one, Jennifer and Needy attend their spring formal, and they’re both in just… super unattractive dresses. I think the point of Needy’s was to emphasize that they have less money, and her dress was likely second-hand or homemade, and her mom curls her hair to a wild oblivion. Jennifer’s dress is fine, but nothing special. I wonder why that was their choice. Secondly, Needy refers to Jennifer as being “socially relevant,” which I have used to describe influencers ever since the first time I heard the expression. Speaking of influencers, one of the internet schadenfreude girls I try to avoid recently did a cosplay of Jennifer, and while in real life the two look nothing alike, the cosplay was pretty well nailed.
The soundtrack of this movie is all indie and pop-punk, with the likes of Florence and the Machine and All Time Low being featured. Low Shoulder performs a song in the bar called “Through the Trees,” which could be easily placed into any episode of “One Tree Hill,” “The OC,” “Riverdale,” you name it. However, most of all to me, the soundtrack features “New Perspective,” one of my favorite Panic! at the Disco songs.
The ending is incredibly satisfying (the most satisfying of the three films in this post), but the opening line of this movie is so poignant and so perfect that you could place it in front of any of these movies: “Hell is a teenage girl.” The writer, Diablo Cody (who several years prior wrote the critically acclaimed coming of age film Juno), had this to say:

There’s the scene where Jennifer’s sitting alone smearing makeup on her face. I always thought that was such a sad image. She’s so vulnerable. I don’t know any woman who hasn’t had a moment sitting in front of the mirror and thinking, “Help me, I want to be somebody else.” What makes it extra affecting is that she’s stunning.

That thinking transcends so beautifully in Jennifer’s Body, and it can be seen in all of the women in these movies. Hell hath no fury.

We have ten days left in the month of October! It’s hard to believe we’re this far into the game. For this deep-dive, we’re going back in time to the 1960s and into the early seventies. As you can tell from the title, we’ll be looking at two of Hitchcock’s films as well as one of the scariest (if not THE scariest) demon child films of all time.

I’m going to throw in a trigger warning: the films mentioned all involve some degree of s**ual assault/violent misogyny. Knowing he was perversely aggressive with a handful of his female talent, it’s hard to be a Hitchcock fan. A lot of today’s microaggressions are being corrected, and it’s made clear now more than ever that vile behavior of any kind towards any person is unacceptable, but demanding sexual favors was always, and forever will be, abhorrent. I don’t want to put a damper on this edition of Spooky Scary Cinema, but I do think noting the unfortunate truth behind Hitchcock, no matter how talented a filmmaker he was, is important before proceeding. It’s like donating to RAINN before getting down to “Forever” by Chris Brown or “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly. Whoop, can of worms. Let’s watch some sixties thrillers!

 

Frenzy (1972) 
Thank you, Peacock, for providing me with Hitchcock’s library. Peacock provides this one sentence synopsis: Circumstantial evidence holds an innocent Londoner (Jon Finch) for the work of a rapist who strangles his victims with neckties. The film takes place in London, and opens on a shot of the Thames (which made me miss the city, a lot). Like I said last week (regarding Dracula), I love older movies. Granted there’s more than thirty years between Dracula and Frenzy (give or take), but they all have a certain cadence that doesn’t exist in modern movies. There’s also a scene where two characters are in the back of a cab, and the illusion of driving through the city is so quintessentially vintage. The score of the film is certainly fun, and a handful of the locations are still standing (for example, the Hilton Hotel at Covent Garden was the Coburg Hotel back then, which was used and referenced in the movie).
Being an early seventies movie, there’s hints of the late sixties ( women’s fashion) and the early seventies (Jon Finch’s mustache). I also feel like such violence for Hitchcock was a bit obscene for the time, but would be kind of next-to-nothing by today’s standards. As it is, there is a rape scene and a violent murder, which I found very uncomfortable to witness. There are a few victims of the murderer shown in the film, and they’re each shown with their eyes open and their tongues flung out along their mouths. It leaves me shocked to remember it.
Hitchcock really seems to enjoy violence against women, and between Norman Bates and Robert Rusk, I think it’s all very Oedipal. The movie made me nostalgic for when I used to walk in London by myself, and I found parts of it to be very intense. There’s a great scene of dramatic irony between the penultimate victim and the murderer, and almost immediately after there’s a scene where the murderer is in the back of a moving truck trying to remove some incriminating evidence from the victim’s corpse. The final line of the film is also very gratifying. I wouldn’t put this movie at the TOP of the must-see list for Hitchcock’s films, but it’s compelling for at least one viewing. The crimes against women in this movie are a bit too much for my taste.

Psycho (1960)
A favorite of mine, not even for the horror genre, but in all movies. I think some people would say “Vertigo” or “Dial M for Murder” might be Hitchcock’s finest, but I think “Psycho” is the ultimate Hitchcock film. Peacock’s summary is, in a word, amusing: “A woman on the run stops at a 12-cabin motel with showers.” Good one, Peacock.
The title sequence of the film always reminded me of a James Bond movie credits roll. It’s so dynamic! The score of this film is also good. Between the Norma Bates motif, and the plucking in the iconic shower scene, it’s all just inherently sinister. I also wonder if this film was the greatest twist in a movie until Chinatown/Empire Strikes Back/Sixth Sense. Who could have predicted it? When I first watched the movie, I just thought skinny and a bit off-kilter Norman Bates was so cute. They make him just proper and sweet and nervous enough to be charming. I remember “The Social Network” had just come out the first time I saw it and I thought they could remake it with Andrew Garfield as Norman Bates. I don’t think a remake is necessary though, especially after they made a super mediocre one in the nineties.
I love the tilts and slow pans that Hitchcock employs. There’s a great slow pan when the murderer in “Frenzy” ensnares his penultimate victim, and “Psycho” has two scenes that have always stuck out to me: Detective Arbogast interrogates Norman regarding the disappearance of Marion Crane. He points out the alias she used when checking into the Bates Motel, and like a bird, Norman tilts his neck to view the guestbook with him. Later, when Sam Loomis (who I didn’t realize until this viewing is handsome) comes to the motel to look for Arbogast, Norman is seen observing the swamp behind the motel. The camera awkwardly (but magnificently) tilts and zooms onto Norman’s face as he hears Sam calling for Arbogast.
Then, of course, there’s the final ten minutes, which are the twist, two near back-to-back monologues, and the final shot of the murderer’s smirking face, superimposed into a skull, as evidence is pulled from the black abyss.
I could read books about the making of this movie, about every minute detail that went into the production of it. I think it’s a good introduction to horror movies in general, because it isn’t overly terrifying, but it keeps you on edge. I guess I shouldn’t say that so lightly, because a certain actress would go on to only take baths for the rest of her life after this movie!

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
THIS MOVIE. WHOO. WOW. OKAY. I was angry watching it. High key, murmuring at the screen, looking for details about a sequel because I wanted to know if vengeance was cast, angry. The one sentence summary (courtesy of me, not Peacock, as this was only available on Amazon) for “Rosemary’s Baby”: A young couple move into a new apartment in New York City, only to become pregnant to the delight of the eerily nosey neighbors. Mia Farrow, who plays the eponymous Rosemary, looks a bit like both Gwyneth Paltrow and January Jones (which has me wondering if the likeness is one of the contributing factors to casting January Jones in the role of 1960s jaded housewife and mother, Betty Draper, in “Mad Men”). Farrow also sang the eerie lullaby that plays over the opening and closing title sequences. The apartment they purchase is gorgeous, and was apparently inspired by (and partially filmed in) the Dakota, where John Lennon lived (and Yoko still lives) when he was assassinated some twelve years after the movie was released. It’s a very New York movie, and the style reflects the changing looks of the late sixties into the traditionally more mod miniskirts and flats (in lieu of housedresses and heels). Rosemary befriends a neighbor named Terry, who has voluminous hair that can only be acquired (presumably) through genetics and a lot of hairspray.
I don’t want to get into the plot of the movie as much, for the sake of spoilers. I will say there is another rape scene in this movie. There’s also internalized misogyny, gaslighting, and I would say emotional spousal abuse. The husband is a piece of work, and I was ready to throw hands every time he came on screen at the hour-and-a-half minute mark (through the rest of the movie really). Rosemary has to deal with everyone giving, and insisting on, their methods of treating her pregnancy, and it made me so sad for women of that time. Rosemary goes to a doctor for help, only to then be placed immediately back into the arms of those who wish to harm her, because she’s clearly a most delusional woman who cannot be believed. The audacity. It truly made my blood boil.
You couldn’t make this movie today, in my opinion, because if any sane woman heard creepy religious chanting through the shared wall of the apartment next door late at night, I’m pretty sure they’d demand to be let out of the lease by the end of the month. I’d quickly say “No, that’s enough of that” and couch surf until we got a new place. Situations like that make me wish realtors would let you spend a night in an apartment before you decide to rent it. What if it’s too cold? What if the neighbors are very weird? What if they have a bird who only sings the same line from “Break My Stride” all hours of the day?
This movie was chilling enough that I don’t know if I’d watch it again. I’d maybe watch snippets in film essays, because I think they’re fun, but I’d almost rather attempt to do what I just said would be impossible, and re-write it with a more feminist spin. I mean, someone has to pay for the consequences of their actions. It won’t be me.

I was thoroughly spooked and utterly content watching these dalliances into Hitchcock and Hellspawn. That said, I’ve barely scratched the surface of either. Hitchcock’s ouvre is expansive, and “Children of the Corn” and “The Omen” had multiple sequels. There’s plenty of material for me to stick my hand into, should I decide to go on another deep dive next Spooktober!

This month, I am taking a deep dive into the movies that gave us nightmares. I’ve decided to go with a different theme for each entry. This time around, we’re visiting the ancient myth of the cold and undead: the vampire.

When we think of vampires, we think of sucking blood, thick accents, and an aversion to garlic. Interestingly enough, the garlic aversion wasn’t seen in ANY of the films I watched for this category. I visited two classics, and a previously referenced modern meme-ified masterpiece. Let’s start at the beginning… dare I say, go back even further?

Nosferatu (1922)
This German silent film is considered the first cinematic adaptation of Dracula, the Bram Stoker classic. That said, it was not approved for production by the family/estate of Bram Stoker, and despite changing a few key details and names, the company was sued for copyright and later went bankrupt. All copies were demanded to be destroyed, but a few were hidden away and later formally released for all to see.
To summarize the story of Dracula, a lawyer? Real estate agent? Appraisal clerk? However you’d like to slice it, travels far and away to Transylvania (a part of Romania) to assist an isolated count with the purchase of a new home. However, this count, Count Orlok (but really Dracula) is not all that seems. Soon Hutter (Harker) and his bride Ellen (Mina) are pursued by a bloodthirsty creature of the night.
Because of the nature of the film, I found this to be the creepiest film I’ve seen so far in this venture. It’s almost a hundred years old, and the dated music and cinematography make it all so eerie. I was also particularly fascinated/disturbed by the makeup worn by the actors. It made things all the more sinister. I feel like the people who made the film put in the effort to make them all look a bit scary, even the good guys!
Another moment that ups the creepy factor is the boat sequence. Orlok/Dracula goes from Transylvania to his new home amongst the peasantry by ship. I wasn’t aware of the legendary bit of knowledge that vampires must sleep in the earth in which they are buried. As such, Orlok travels in his coffin, amongst other dirty boxes, from which it seems dozens, if not hundreds of rats, come forth and bring “a plague” to the ship and its crew. Ugh. Makes me cringe in discomfort in my seat.
“Nosferatu” is, overall, very creepy, and very useful for some pre-gaming spooks. It shouldn’t be the meat and potatoes of your “watch scary movies all night,” but it can be a good amouz bouche, if you will. Another note about the story in general: IDK why you would move from your creepy castle and isolation to a peasant town where people will DEFINITELY figure out that you’re a vampire and make sure you get a stake through the heart.

Dracula (1931)
Yes, the Bela Lugosi classic made the list. I like older movies from this era. They have gaps where no one talks and you just hear soft white noise in the middle. Anyway, this movie was a bit more my speed. This movie was, I think, more loyal to the book and was less intimidating. I was very surprised, however, to hear the movie open with the theme from Swan Lake of all things (a score wasn’t written for the movie until decades later due to budget constraints).  I also didn’t really read Dracula in my English classes, though I pretended I had in lectures. I paid 120,000 dollars for someone to tell me to go read Dracula AND THEN I DIDN’T.
The performances were all legendary, though it’s bittersweet to know now that Bela Lugosi was scared of being typecasted and faced trouble finding roles that were not that of the intimidating villain through the rest of his career. That said, I hope wherever he lies now, he knows that the world will never forget him for it. Personally, I would pop this in during October again, maybe a triple feature with “Frankenstein” and “The Mummy!” I kind of wish the movie theatre on CityWalk property would do that next year, too. The classic horror films are almost entirely under Universal Studios ownership. I think it’d be a lovely night of cinema!

Twilight (2008)
If you thought for one second that I wouldn’t add this to my vampire movie viewing, you were oh-so-sorely mistaken. After reading the return of Bella and Edward in Midnight Sun, I felt it was my destiny to watch this movie for the first time in years. I saw it in theatres the night it came out, and even wrote the name of the movie in Sharpie on my arm in the iconic font. Fourteen year old me was thrilled to see those pale colors on her screen again. Yes, the whole movie is pale, and cold. LIKE A VAMPIRE. HM.
In a sentence: “Twilight” is a love story between Bella Swan, a human, and Edward Cullen, a forever-17-but-actually-hundred-year-old vampire. This movie is not even close to scary, but it’s got enough bloodthirst to satisfy your needs. I had forgotten not only how great the soundtrack is (the song “Decode” by Paramore was lost in the recesses of my mind), but the score is up there too! The main theme (along with other large chunks of the movie) has received the meme treatment of late, but even the music outside of that theme makes the heart race.
I also forgot that half of this movie is just showing us how awkward Bella Swan is. Between her dialogue with her new friends, Edward, her dad, and Edward’s family, you just have to ask:

It’s cool to have read Midnight Sun and be able to fill in some of the gaps (Edward definitely heard Jessica talking about him, he went up to Alaska to escape Bella after their first introduction). I also remembered that I had a crush on Robert Pattinson at the time. His smile got me (BECAUSE YOU RARELY SEE IT). As far as vampires go, the take here makes reference to the stereotypes, but offers a more modern spin. For example, rather than dying in exposure to the sun, the vampires in this movie just… sparkle. Yup. Vampires sparkle like glitter. The Cullen family lives in Washington for this reason, because it’s cold and overcast all the time. They also don’t have an aversion to garlic, they just don’t eat real people food. They sustain themselves on blood, but the Cullen family lives solely off of animal blood (it’s implied that almost all other vampires go for humans). In the other films, vampires sleep during the day and come to life at night. In “Twilight,” they just don’t sleep. Ever.
Overall, much like Midnight Sun, this is not scary but still fun. Well, it was fun for me. And I kind of want to watch the rest of the movies now. And as I said last time: this scene is a CULTURAL. RESET.

I had fun watching these movies! Vampires, in general, are fun. Maybe that’s dangerous for me to say, but here’s a fun fact about me: I put garlic powder on everything.

Not sure what category is next, but until I figure it out… vampire push.

 

Have I mentioned yet that I love Halloween? Once? Twice? Thrice? It might be my favorite holiday. There was a time in my life when I had “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” fully memorized. What’s more fun than autumn crafts, costumes, and candy? You let me know.

I love horror movies. Who knows why? I’m the only one in my family who finds them fun at all times. I decided, what with trick-or-treats and Halloween parties not really being an option this year out of safety, I would sit down and watch some scary movies all month long!

I wanted to have a good combination of all decades and genres, and I think my choices for this month fulfills this desire! This is part one of a monthlong series of spooky movies, ranging from the classic monster legends to the slightly more fun dark and twisted comedies. I also leave room for the late nineties/early oughts of the past decade, because my appreciation for horror comes primarily from that era.

I think that of the 21 movies I’ve placed on this list, I’ve only seen five of them! The rest (including all of the ones from this week’s edition) are all new-to-me.

I divided the films up into categories:

• The Seventies
• The Eighties
• Vampires
• Hitchcock and Hellspawn
• Franken-zombies
• Spooky little (mostly nineties) girl

And then there’s today’s category:

• Man Crush Monday Monster Mash

I threw in three movies, two of which feature men who are not, let’s call it, hideously deformed. Should Aaron die in a freak gasoline fight incident that kills him quickly and painlessly, after a polite mourning period, I would let both of them take me to a gentle seafood dinner.

Are there shivers down your spine left?

Doctor Sleep (2019)
The movie? A sequel to both the film and the novel, The Shining. I’ve seen the original Kubrickian classic more than three times by now, and it is possibly one of my favorites. It’s so stylish and chilling. I know it was a bear to make, but it clearly worked in their favor. The sequel stars Obi Wan, I mean Ewan, McGregor, so I needed even less convincing to finally sit down and see this one (I had plans to see it in theatres but then life happened and there’s no time like the present am I right). Kenobi McGregor plays Dan “Danny” Torrance, some thirty five years after the events of the first novel/film. A recovering alcoholic using his “shining” to comfort hospice patients in their final moments, Dan is thrust back into the horrors of his childhood when he inadvertently befriends a young girl with the same gift.
I will admit, Doctor Sleep isn’t even half as creepy as it’s predecessor, but I think that’s okay. The film features tasteful flashbacks and homages to The Shining, without hammering it down your throat… or breaking down your bathroom door. Though it doesn’t rely heavily on jump scares, when there’s chills to be had, the same jolting sound effects are used in this movie as was in the original. A few other homage highlights include using the original theme of the movie (I believe it’s either trombone or french horn) when introducing the Warner Brothers title card, and to introduce the climactic third act. While I have an obvious soft spot for Ewan McGregor, the entire cast was incredible. I hope that the young actress who portrayed Abra, Kyliegh Curran, continues to act into adulthood. I was so impressed with her throughout the movie!
The flashbacks feature new actors portraying Danny, Wendy, and Jack (rather than using archival footage). They all do great jobs in capturing the characters’ auras. That said, while Alex Essoe did a wonderful job portraying Wendy, I found that she looked more like Abbi Jacobson from “Broad City,” at least in the face. It was hard to be on her level of terror when I kept thinking about Abbi after her dental surgery.

My Bloody Valentine (1981)
It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize this was a Canadian slasher film. I thought it was just Minnesota small-town fun, but no, it was Canada! Someone said “So-rry” and I dismissed it! I am ashamed. ANYWAY. This film is the story of a tiny coal-mining town celebrating Valentine’s Day. However, twenty years prior, two coal mining supervisors left six miners in the mine to attend the annual Valentine’s Day dance, and an explosion left them trapped. Five miners died as the sixth resorted to cannibalism to survive. Twenty years later, he’s allegedly escaped from his mental institution, intent on casting revenge on the town that forgot the tragedy that drove him mad.
This film has everything: group showers, dumb twentysomethings, AN ACCIDENT IN A LAUNDROMAT. There’s a tense love triangle between two of the guys, one of whom left years ago, leaving his girlfriend to date his best friend. All I’ll say is: who finds mines sexy? Who thinks it’s fun to go down into a mine? I digress. The film has a few plot twists that let me be surprised by the ending! I like when I don’t know what’s going to happen next. I did fall asleep in the moments leading up to the third act, but I don’t know if that’s boredom or because a cat kept me up with cries for attention at five in the morning until eight in the morning. Doesn’t he know I need my beauty rest?
My Bloody Valentine offers plenty of shocking gore, though I’m sure it was much more shocking back in its heyday. I was definitely startled by a few of the more gruesome moments! I’m not a big fan of gore for gore’s sake, but when the characters aren’t super fascinating, it serves it’s purpose. For all that the characters weren’t as fun to watch as the ones in Doctor Sleep, I immediately felt sad and pity for the characters’ plight when I realized the happiness and excitement they felt at returning to the Valentine’s Day dance, which they had stopped holding after the mining accident, was not going to last. They were just a buncha nice Canadian folk trying to have a good time, ya know?

My Bloody Valentine (2009)
Oh yeah. They got a remake. The 2009 version of My Bloody Valentine stars the one, my one, the only, my only, Jensen Ackles. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but I would die for this man. He could stab me to death and my last words would be a bloody, choked out, “thank you.”

Where was I? Oh yeah, the 3D craze of the early 2000s. This movie was just stabbing after stabbing after gouging after throat rip. They took the gore of the original and kicked it up eleventy billion notches. Speaking of gore, this movie also starred Kerr Smith, who I immediately recognized. A quick Google search and yup, he was Carter in the original “Final Destination” movie, which is just :chef’s kiss: perfect early 2000s gore nightmares. Now THAT is nightmare inducing. It almost feels like a tribute to include him in this remake, since I feel like Final Destination was a benchmark, a blueprint, of what was to come.
This adaptation isn’t a full on remake, though character names and the general backstory remain the same. A lot of things are different in this movie compared to the original. I somehow knew the ending but was also surprised by it! Again, who just HANGS OUT in a mine? Could you remake this movie today? Do we still have tiny mining towns? Do they all just hang out and hook up in the mines when they aren’t working? I also would like to note that the beginning of the movie and the rest of the movie is ten years apart, and they manage to make everyone in the movie look ten years older, except Jensen Ackles. Jensen has looked exactly the same for ten years. Does he feed on souls to keep his handsome looks? Do they take volunteers for this ritual? Is there a permission slip or diet that must be followed prior to being sacrificed? Someone should look into this.

This was a fun way to jumpstart the month of Spooktober! I’m keeping things loosey goosey in terms of the order in which I want to digest each category of movies, but if it weren’t clear, I like not knowing what happens next.

With that, I’m going to start getting ready for bed. Let’s hope my nightmares are psycho spirit and psycho killer free!