She minored in Film and thinks she’s Roger Ebert

I will be straight up — I love movies. I’ve only known a few people who genuinely don’t enjoy movies or have the audacity to say “I don’t watch TV,” so enjoying them doesn’t make me a special person. That said, I’ve gotten lost in both the world of production and the final outcome a lot, starting from my formative years. I’ve wanted to have every part in a film crew at least once, so it made sense for me to do film analysis in college.

Here’s the thing though– I felt like a lot of my film analysis classes were underwhelming. It felt like the same three people offered the same opinions, and my global film class was all based on indie movies and not films that defined a genre. I was hoping I’d be watching Miyazaki and Fellini, and while I got ONE Iñárritu film I just felt short changed (no offense to my professor, because she was super nice and let me talk). Each week, we’d be asked what we thought of each movie, and the same three people would just repeat “Oh that was the greatest movie ever, SO important, SO impactful,” and I would just turn to them, notice no other hands, then raise mine and say “I’m sorry, these were fine movies, but this isn’t the greatest thing ever put into theatres. I was bored and unimpressed.”

Which brings me to my man Quentin Tarantino, and his latest film “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” A few weeks ago I posted that “Inglorious Basterds” is one of my favorite movies, and I stand by that. Well scripted, incredible acting, perfect degrees of suspense with a delicious payoff.

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That said, “Once Upon in Hollywood” felt like an amalgam of a lot of the problems I have with Tarantino, and the way he’s heralded in the media.

Tarantino comes off, at least in his interviews and his films, like the ultimate troll. He knows that a lot of people hate his work for both the gratuitous violence and the way he treats women (save for “Jackie Brown” and “Kill Bill”). With that, he cranks it up a notch, beats Jennifer Jason Leigh in the face, and basically takes a trip to Costco to buy ketchup at a discount to create a Jackson Pollak painting as a template for how bloody his action scenes should be. When people ask him why, he says why not, with the cheekiest grin. He delights in being that guy and to that, I do salute him. He is unapologetic in being himself.

I wouldn’t call him untalented, either. Again, I loved “Inglorious Basterds” and thoroughly enjoyed “Django Unchained.” I genuinely don’t understand the hullaballoo of “Pulp Fiction,” and I literally cried during “The Hateful Eight” because I couldn’t believe how much I hated it. I got mad at my dad for driving me to the movie theatre to see it.

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Up until “The Hateful Eight,” though, I thought that Tarantino could do no wrong (I appreciated “Pulp Fiction”‘s impact, even if I thought that it was just all right). Even after I saw that movie I thought “Hey, no one’s perfect. He’s gotta have at least one stinker.” Turns out I was not alone in that sentiment, but others called it the best movie of the year.

In the time between “The Hateful Eight” and “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” I could discover all the reasons one would hate Tarantino: his use of the “n” word (his own use of it and the abuse of it), his violent tendencies, his misogynistic undertones (including and not limited to his close partnership with Harvey Weinstein), and yes… the foot thing.

The first thing that threw me off my game during “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” was that rumor about him having an obsession with feet. I had never noticed it, though I will concede that the scene with Diane Krueger’s reveal in “Inglorious Basterds” is a hint to it, when you put it in that context. Now, I don’t know if this is just Tarantino doing Tarantino and taking it up to eleven, but almost EVERY female character in that movie was barefoot, ranging from Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie could do any movie and I’d see it) to a greasy Dakota Fanning as Squeaky Fromme (“She is… DIFFICULT.”) to Brad Pitt’s jailbait love interest “Pussycat,” played by Margaret Qualley. At a certain point the line has to be drawn. I’m not drawing a line, it’s more like a note that says “Hey man, you good, or…?”

Secondly and MOST importantly, to me, is that the phrase “Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino” is iconic and means you’re in for a good time. A long time and a good time. He’s a fantastic director, and every frame is truly a painting. That said, I feel like his movies (and yes, I do mean all of them), have scenes that are just… there. You could crunch those scenes down to thirty seconds and not lose any of the plot or artistry. “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” was no exception.

Half of Rick Dalton’s scenes were unnecessary. SO much exposition, SO much unneeded dialogue. We get it: his character has seen more successful days and his craft is waning because he’s an alcoholic. That’s literally an hour of a movie with multiple plot lines.

This is NO SHADE TO MY BOY LEO. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

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As well, almost the entirety of the Bruce Lee sequence was unnecessary. Now if that was all just a reason for us to get Brad Pitt working on a rooftop in only a pair of jeans reminiscing on his reason for not getting hired to stunt for this day’s set, then fine. I’ll allow it. He is in wonderful shape. Good for Brad. Yay Brad. Five stars for Brad.

Spoiler alert: the gist of the scene is that Brad Pitt’s character, Cliff Booth, is deadly strong and could have killed Bruce Lee on a shoot had someone not intervened. People took issue with this scene because of the depiction of Lee as arrogant (“My fists are lethal weapons” is a loose paraphrase of one of his lines). According to those close to Bruce Lee, he kept to himself because he was scared already of being a minority in a predominantly white industry. It’s sad knowing that he was borderline self conscious of his own talent out of fear of discrimination and racism. You could revise that whole scene into thirty seconds of Cliff CAUSING the trouble, egging Lee to punch him, and Lee sheepishly refusing but then agreeing because it’d be a fun scrap. Boom! Cliff proves he can take and deliver a punch in thirty seconds, Lee’s ego remains intact, no one’s offended, and we prove that Cliff is a troublemaker who can’t be trusted onset.

There’s also a brief mention that Cliff probably killed his wife. Reviews have taken issue with the speculation regarding whether or not he killed his wife or it was an accident or it’s a rumor (most are using it as cannon fodder to support the theory that Tarantino is a sexist who delights in abusing women). I don’t think it’s that deep, and yet…

Later in the movie (more spoilers), Cliff visits where the Manson family resides in an abandoned film ranch, and beats up a hippie for stabbing a tire on his boss’s car. I personally think it would have been a fun payoff to have rumors buzz for the first hour about how strong Cliff was, but not actually getting a chance to see it until that one moment where he bludgeons the guy to a pulp to repair the tire. Now that we know that he stands a chance against Bruce Lee, it’s less fun. BUT that’s one gal’s opinion, whomst am I to judge Tarantino’s choice there?

The long, drawn out scenes with unnecessary monologues and dialogue feel like the result of a writer who was never told “Hey, this isn’t very good.” I saw a tweet that someone shared, exasperatedly commenting “Not another first draft that made it to screen” in reference to this movie. I kind of agree. There’s just 1-3 scenes too many in each Tarantino film.

To me, it just feels like Tarantino takes the criticism as a personal attack (he’s lashed out at interviewers before who question his choices), rather than an artistic perspective. To that point, I feel like Tarantino’s work is often polarizing. Those who love Tarantino defend his every move. If you insult or disparage his work in a film class, a film forum, or just tweet about it on Twitter, you can expect some nasty feedback.

I didn’t hate this movie: everyone’s acting was sublime. Leo DiCaprio and Bradd Pitt are QUITE the dynamic duo. I hope Margaret Qualley gets more opportunities to shine, because I particularly liked her. Leo DiCaprio’s plotline involves a scene with a young child actor named Trudi Fraser. Her portrayer, Julia Butters, must be protected at all costs. I will build an orb around her to protect her from the world. I’m pretty sure she could handle the world without blinking an eye but I still won’t stand for anyone bullying her ever. The scenery/cinematography is stunning. Tarantino’s use of Margot Robbie is exactly what it should have been, even if I was disappointed by it (I wanted her to have more screen time, but the whole point of her side of the story is that Sharon was just starting out her career. She had so much potential, but we barely got to see it before she was murdered).

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The ending is ten of the most satisfying minutes I’ve experienced in a movie theater, though I will admit, if you have no idea who Sharon Tate is or the significance of the Manson Family murders, you will be very confused by the movie’s ending.  To that effect, “Inglorious Basterds” and “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” both provide an amazing “What if…?” scenario, but in truth, reality is stranger than fiction. Demented monsters destroyed because they could.

Tarantino has said that he wants to retire by 60, and though this is uncertain, he’s said before that he wants to make ten really good movies before retiring. It looks like his next will be his last. A lot of current rumblings say his finale will/should be a horror film. I would very much look forward to that; I personally think that today’s cinema is headed towards a new era of dark humor and black comedy. Tarantino’s dialogue is good and he writes strong characters. I think the wheels are in motion for this black comedy/funny horror boom, thanks to movies like “Get Out” and “Midsommar”, but I think that at this rate, the slingshot’s in hand and the projectile is is in the rubber slot. If Tarantino decides to shoot, he’ll leave behind a legacy. Ready… aim…

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Story-time Sunday

I’ve decided to kickstart a new initiative, where I share a fun anecdote about me! I’m going to begin this with the craziest thing I’ve ever done:

It was Labor Day Weekend in 2015. Three friends and I decided to go to the lake to swim and… cliff dive?! I figured it’d be a nice bonding day with the girls, all of whom I’d known since two years prior. We had to walk through some woods and up a hill to get there.

One of the girls had insisted that everyone went there, and I figured “Okay. It’s not like people have died doing this. We’ll be fine.”

I was proved right when, as we neared the drop-off point, we started passing others leaving the lake with speakers, chairs, and towels. We got to the drop-off point where people were slipping into the water and jumping off the rocks. I was scared of slipping in my shoes and spraining my ankle, so I basically slid in on my butt!

Meanwhile, the bravest of us girls quickly climbed to the biggest rock and jumped in feet first. I was impressed, but not impressed enough to try it myself. I was scared I’d slip and get hurt.

Ironic, considering what happened after that!

We had basically been swimming around some bigger rocks at the edge of the lake, but there was a legitimate 70 ft cliff. There were a group of probably ten people our age, maybe a few years younger or older, crowded around watching other people jump. Only one or two of them had gone for it.

I decided to walk up, on my own. I slipped out of the water unnoticed and trekked up to find the group of people, all huddled around the edge, the majority too scared to jump.

I was scared to jump. I thought I’d hit a rock going down and break my neck, or end up paralyzing myself and drowning.

This is probably the worst time to think of this quote, but a Taylor Swift line flashed in my head: “Fearlessness isn’t the absence of fear. It’s having the fear but jumping anyway.”

The Hell with it, I thought to myself. Either I live and I can say I did it, or I die and I don’t have to pay my student loans. Win-win. 

I took a step toward the edge of the cliff. One of the girls in the group was filming on her camera and asked if I was going to jump. When I said yes, she and her friends cheered. I told her my name and to tell my mom I loved her.

They counted me down 3… 2… 1…

I jumped.

Holy heckin’ bob, my heart’s pounding just remembering it. Have you ever played a video game where a character does a big leap, and you watch them slowly fall in the air until they stick their landing? That’s how I felt. For what felt like a full minute, but was probably barely five seconds, it was absolute silence. I wished I could control gravity, so I could have stayed floating in midair, looking at the sparkling lake from that point of view.

Then the water came.

I cut into the lake like glass and felt pain rising up into my body. I hadn’t seriously injured anything, but going that far that fast isn’t like jumping into the pool from the low diving board!

I felt my entire bathing suit slip, both the top and the bottom. I was shocked to feel my bikini bottom falling off, because that had never happened ever! I hoisted them up as I rose to the surface, and clung on to the top of my bikini to make sure I didn’t flash any nearby swimmers. I cheered and the group up top cheered too, seeing that I was alive!

I paddled over to a nearby swimmer and asked them to reclasp my swimsuit and they did. That was nice. I dog paddled back to the other side of the water to tell my friends that I had done it!

I probably should have brought one of them along for evidence. Who cares though, right? I know I did it.

The next day, my body took no time in reminding me that I had done it. EVERY body part felt bruised. My arms, my legs, my chest… even where my bikini bottoms covered felt sore! I remember going to the gym, promising to take it easy on myself, and then nearly sliding off a workout bench with the pain of sitting on it!

Naturally, though, the pain was worth it. That day was just a part of an even greater summer. Now, I can say I’ve done cliff diving, at least once. I never have to do it again.

With that in mind, does that mean I need to go sky diving, or shark diving? Either way, it might be time for another high-stakes jump!

What It’s Like to be Vegan-Lite

When I was sixteen years old, I took an environmental science class to test out of a science requirement, after I scraped by in biology freshman year and had to retake chemistry sophomore year. While in that class, we discussed sustainability, and a part of that conversation meant watching a documentary called “Food, Inc.” where they go in depth into what your food is made of and what it’s like in factory farming.

Not to get too graphic, but they literally kill baby chicks to make chicken nuggets. As in, throw them into grinders while they’re still alive. I was horrified and disgusted and didn’t want to eat meat for a while.

That summer, I went to Spain on a group trip and was left to my own devices to feed myself for about a month. I avoided beef and poultry and stuck mostly to pasta and fruit during the day, treating myself to hake (a type of fish) and tuna pizza when I felt like it. At the end of the summer, we all went to dinner where I had some cheese wrapped in ham.

Have you ever had food poisoning on a transcontinental flight? I have. Just thinking about it makes me dry heave. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I had pork. Pig meat was the easiest for me to say farewell to, between my semi-Kosher upbringing and the movie “Moana.”

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THAT IS THE FACE OF BACON. YOU WANNA EAT THAT LIL’ ANGEL? Aaron indulged my love for this little wonder and got me a stuffed plushy of Pua that I just sat cuddling with and I thought to myself: why eat these little sweethearts when you can snuggle with them?

I got food poisoning again about three years later when I ate a meatball pizza in my dining hall. Beef and I got beef!

I had gotten the pizza as a treat for myself for getting into the study abroad program I wanted in England. The following semester I walked through London to get to class on time, and it was awesome! I was living on a shoestring budget during that time. I often thought to myself, “If you only spend a minimal amount of money on food, you can use the extra money to go on another weekend trip!” I fed myself on around $20 a week, eating mostly bananas and pasta. I’d go to Pizza Express every once in a while but on one such trip, I had a hot fudge sundae and spent the following evening in pain. When I could finally move, I grabbed a pen and scribbled: “NOTE TO SELF. YOU ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD AND STOP NOW.” My trips to Pizza Express mostly ceased after that, and I started to prefer burrito bowls from Chipotle over takeaway from…  everywhere else!

I lost a lot of weight that semester, and when I got back to the US, I decided to give that vegan thing a try. I’d fallen down multiple rabbit holes on Youtube about the vegan lifestyle, and I decided to see if it was right for me. For about a year, I ate fruits, vegetables, and plant based alternatives to the foods I loved. There were plenty of hits (ALMOND. MILK.) and plenty of misses (Daiya cheddar shreds. After a while I just couldn’t take it), but I learned a lot about cooking and what I liked to eat!

These days, I’m not vegan. I still have my animal/environmentally friendly preferences (like cruelty-free makeup and requesting only “pleather” products), but I also will enjoy most fish, poultry, dairy, and occasionally eggs. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I had pork, but I know I’ve had beef at some point in the past year. I just genuinely can’t remember when it was.

From an ethical standpoint I feel guilty a lot of the time. Heck, I feel guilty just writing out that I’m not vegan! I don’t like assigning labels, but come on. Everyone knows where our food comes from at this point, and factory farming is really hazardous to the environment. Not only that, but the dairy industry is really mean to cows.

From a health standpoint, my dairy tolerance is still minimal. I can do a pint of Halo Top, but a four cheese pizza is just a death sentence. I blame my return to cheese and regular eating of fish to a lack of discipline (of course sushi tastes good, but gosh, at what cost)?

I think the human population should try to eat one vegan meal a day (I accomplished this three times this week so far!). I think just that one move of having a smoothie for breakfast or a big bowl of spaghetti and tomato sauce for dinner would make a world of a difference. I am living proof that not everyone wants to eat plant based 100% of the time, but I think that seven meals a week would make for a healthier, happier planet.

Here are a few of my favorite Vegan options:

  1. Gardein products. Their Orange “Chicken” and Meat(less) Crumbles are a staple to my diet. The Meat(less) Crumbles are great as a protein source for a plate of pasta or to bulk up some tacos!
  2. Mac and “Cheeze”. If you come in thinking you’re going to have that Velveeta golden goodness, you will be confused. “Cheeze” bases can be made of a variety of things, but personally, I love a good cashew sauce. I’ve used a butternut squash base before, too, and that sauce is good enough as a thick soup! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
  3. Pesto. I know what you’re thinking: “Doesn’t pesto contain Parmesan cheese?” It certainly does, unless you make it yourself! Just a bit of garlic, pine nuts, avocado, basil and olive oil. Here’s the plot twist: NUTRITIONAL. YEAST. I will sing the praises of “Nooch” until the cows come home. Add a bit of that instead of Parmesan and you are made in the shade. Heck, I’ve even made pesto without nutritional yeast and didn’t even notice a difference.
  4. Bananas. They’re a controversial fruit, but they’re my absolute favorite. Eat them as is, or freeze them to use as a thickener in a smoothie! I like making a nice ice cream bowl with two bananas, some cocoa powder, a splash of almond milk, and some peanut butter. The calorie count can get pretty high, but this one’s more about the ethical implications. Plus, with the nutrients in the bananas, milk and nut butter? You can TOTALLY have ice cream for dinner!
  5. Vegan Harvest frozen pizza from “American Flatbread.” “American Flatbread” hails from Vermont, and I’ve been to their location in Burlington a handful of times. It made my heart skip a beat when I found their vegan pizza in the frozen section of Whole Foods. If you haven’t figured it out, I take my cheese very seriously, and I take my vegan substitutes for cheese even more seriously. THIS is the pizza for you. PS: If you live in the Burlington area now and want another vegan pizza to try, Leonardo’s Vegan Salvation is the best vegan pizza I’ve ever had in my life.
  6. Eggplant bacon.
    I can hear you doing this to your computer!
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    But trust me on this one. It’s like a cleaner, prettier version of what bacon already is. I haven’t made this at home yet, but a vegan restaurant in Burlington called Pingala makes a great batch. HIGHLY recommend trying eggplant bacon if you ever have the chance.
  7. Dairy Free Chocolate Salted Fudge Truffle ice cream from Haagen Dasz. This has kicked Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food out of the position of my favorite ice cream flavor. A GAME changer kids, though no love is lost between me and the dairy free flavors Ben and Jerry’s provides. They walked so Haagen Dasz could run. Halo Top does make a few vegan flavors, but I’m thinking it’s high time they add more. Fingers crossed their next one is Vegan Red Velvet!

 

Honestly, I could continue this list for another seven items, but I think I’ll save that for another post. My point is that eating plant based options can be fun, and certainly can be tasty! One bite really can make a difference. I recommend giving “one vegan meal a day” a try, if you can! Depending on what you choose, it isn’t as pricey as it seems. If all else fails, Oreos are vegan.

This post makes me want to try harder with my own vegan lifestyle. I think maybe I’ll make vegan mac n cheeze for dinner this weekend!

Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic?

Britney Spears wrote “Toxic” about social media and this is an undisputed fact even though I’m pretty sure the closest thing society had to social media when that song was written was blogging (Update: Livejournal had been around for less than five years and Friendster was just beginning, and Myspace was founded in August of 2003).

I went on a deep dive of some of the people I follow on social media, and they’re all women living a more fabulous life than me. Beautiful, blonde, and living in chic homes in places with skin clearer than my future. At this point, I can’t tell if I’m following them in an aspirational way. I feel like when I see their posts, I just think “Wow, they’re so pretty and happy on the coast of France. I wanna be pretty and happy on the coast of France.” That doesn’t motivate me to go do work, it kind of just makes me feel sad that I’m not pretty and happy on the coast of France.

At what point do I clean out and only follow people that make me happy? I feel like if I pretend these people don’t exist, I’m living in ignorance. Contrariwise, being so focused on their presence is sucking the joy out of my scrolling.

I guess the bigger compromise would be that I spend less time scrolling through social media! That way, I spend less time on a screen, and that alone will decrease the amount of time that I see them. I’m trying to eliminate social media past a certain point in my day, as well as start browsing later. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve had to cut down my morning workout because I check my phone in the morning and lose track of time scrolling through Instagram and Twitter! I can be ready in ten minutes for the gym, but when I decide to scroll a little bit before brushing my teeth, I’ve been up for thirty minutes but still in my PJS!

I was definitely feeling the melancholy over the filtered perfection this weekend. I’m sure these women have their bad days where they don’t cry pretty tears or their makeup isn’t perfect. The catch-22 is that even when the girls display their bad days it comes off more performative than authentic. It feels more like they’re trying to compel their audience to lean in closer, you know? I have off days too! I’m just like you! Call me crazy, but while you were sitting in the back of a pickup truck on a spontaneous ride to a mountain waterfall, I was sitting in rush hour traffic. The average person doesn’t get to do that.

I guess I’m also envious that these girls have created this reality for them. They live in a world where they sleep till six so they can choose to watch the sunrise, then either go for a workout or make a nice meal. Sometimes they do both, and a yoga session, before settling down to start their work day at 9. I’d love an extra hour of sleep to get in a workout and show up for my workday with perfect hair and makeup. Even moreso, have no set start time with my day and just go wherever the breeze told me. Climb a tree or swim in the ocean and live only on island time, judging the hours in my day based on where the sun lies in the sky.

I want to be the working girl who gets things done, but I also want to live on the beach and just dream away the hours. I don’t know which one would fulfill me more! What I know for sure, though, is that looking at the girls who do live their lives like that certainly doesn’t fulfill me. Poison paradise indeed! It’s time I find a balance between dreams, reality, and chasing them at the right speed.

August Intentions

It’s a new month! I’m in for a busy end-of-summer. We’re moving to a new place, I have wedding appointments, and even tonight, I have to pack for a girls’ beach weekend! That said, it’s a great time for me to set some goals. I don’t mean goals in the sense of “Clean out my closet” (though I did that this weekend!) and “Go on a walk every day”. Those are great objectives, but in this context, I’m thinking more in the abstract.

Long-time woman-crush-Wednesday Alexis Ren shared some questions to ask yourself when setting intentions. They’re a good thing to reflect on every week to keep you motivated! I’d like to share those questions (and my responses) here:

What do I need today/this week/this month?
I need water and more sleep. I would like a healthier mindset (I’ve been engaging in a lot of negative self-talk lately)!

What do I want to manifest more of? 
Kindness and serenity, both towards others and myself!

What do I need to do to continue my progress?
Be empathetic, sympathetic, disengage from toxic environments.

What am I grateful for?
I have a great family! I have wonderful friends! I have an amazing boyfriend who I love. I have access to clean water, a full fridge, and I take a car that I lease to a job I like. I am grateful for the privileges afforded to me in the Western world (“Kim, there’s people that are dying.”).

What do I need to/want to see more of in my life?
I need to see more sleep and less sloth! I need stronger discipline so my time is managed better. Even now it’s 9:40 and I still have to pack my overnight bag! I should have done this earlier. It will get done, and that’s great, but it would be great if I could have been in my room by 9 and in bed by 10. I’ve been able to do that more lately, but I’d rather it be a full-on habit at this point!

What brings me joy/peace/serenity/etc?
I experience joy when I get to be with Aaron. I feel peace at sunrise and night skies. Listening to music to end and begin my day impacts how I go about my routine!

What do I need to do to get closer to my goal?
I think it helps to set realistic expectations. I can’t do five things after work, but I can do two or three. With better time management, I will get more done and get more Zzz’s. Discipline! Efficiency! Yes!

What is my body telling me?
You are low energy and deserve more for your soul. Get better sleep. Have more fruit. Give yourself hugs and give other people smiles. It will go a long way for your own happiness!

What can I remind myself of today/this week?
I am beautiful. I am safe. I am loved. I am grateful.

How will I feel if I implement more ___ in my life?
If I implement more time management tactics in my life, I will feel more confident in my capabilities and better rested. I work out plenty, my physical self is doing pretty well, to the point that it’s a well-oiled machine (even if the oil is occasionally just, you know, olive oil excess left in the wrapping paper of bread sticks). My mental self deserves her day!

What needs to change at this moment/time in my life?
I’m relatively messy and post-work, I’m not very productive. I should work on maximizing my time up until 8 PM during the week. At 8PM I can turn on a show, browse the internet, and start unwinding, but I should try to accomplish some tasks (like read or doing the dishes) after dinner.

What do I need to prioritize?
My mental health! I need to rest easy in my mind. I will have a healthier mindset if I lay my head down to sleep knowing I can put my name on the previous day as a fine day’s work. If I can do that by 9:30, so much the better!

This was a great practice! I now have some decent ideas for this month:

  • Be in my bedroom by 9, in bed by 9:45 Sunday-Thursday. I can stay up a bit later Friday and Saturday, but on “work” nights, I turn in early!
  • Each day, accomplish two tasks, whether it’s cleaning, learning, or flexing a mental muscle through creative methods (reading and/or writing).
  • Social media curfew! No more browsing after 9 PM. I can turn on music while I get ready for bed, but at 8:59 the playlist is curated and the apps are closed. Sweet dreams for me!

I think just those steps will make a world of a difference. Next up: execution! Go!

My Current Favorites

I have always believed that routine is the core of discipline and success. I have been adding more go-to behaviors into my daily lifestyle to help establish a routine piece-by-piece. Here are a few of my basic favorites that I  count on to get through the day!

  1. My current wardrobe– similar to the style I indicated in a few fashion-related posts, I have been sticking with a solid color blouse, neutral pants, and a cardigan. It’s a convenient way to stay clean, casual, and comfortable. I can dress it down in jeans, or dress it up with accessories!
  2. My favorite makeup– In keeping with my style, my makeup is neutral, clean, but pretty! I put on foundation (Fenty, of course) and blush (NARS Orgasm) on my face, as well as a few applications of mascara. I always use Anastasia BH eyebrow pencil on my eyebrows. I’ve found that eyebrows are key to framing my face (and looking awake!). I use a sparkly eyeshadow on the whole of my eyelid, in a shade that is a few hues golder than my natural skin tone. To add a bit more dimension, I put a near rose-gold color in my crease. This creates a natural looking smoky-eye. I top it all off with a NARS lip pencil (I’ve been basically going back and forth between Dolce Vita and Do Me, Baby), with a layer of chapstick beneath the color.
  3. Workout routine– I have been flipping back and forth, keeping a balance of cardio and strength training. When I can afford to take more time, I’ll do a strength training routine and a 45-minute treadmill walk. If I have less than an hour (depending on working from home, a day off of work, or working in the office), I’ll flip between a strength training session or a treadmill run. I’ve been sticking to two rest days, but I think that I might adjust that to one rest day for the next three months, and bring it back to two rest days after the wedding. Every little adjustment counts!
  4. Go-to snacks — I will now, and forever, sing the praises of Halo Top. It’s been my post-dinner treat almost every day for months! Knowing I can have a little sweetness at the end of dinner makes it easier to ignore the call of vending machine Reeses Cups. On an even healthier level, I have been enjoying parmesan cheese and Pink Lady apples! I find that all three are filling, low-calorie snacks that are good for my body and my soul. Seriously, next time you go to the supermarket, get some Pink Lady apples!
  5. Early bedtime — I’ve been trying to get into the bedroom by 9 PM. By starting my routine then, I’m certainly in bed by 10 PM, and more often, asleep by 10 PM. Seven hours of sleep seems to hit me just right!
  6. Face mask — I love a sheet mask as much as the next person, but lately, I’ve been going gold. Spa-scription has a gold wash off mask that makes me feel like a queen. It washes off after fifteen minutes, so I have time to finish the rest of my bed-time routine. All that’s left after rinsing the mask off is to apply my serum (vitamin-C filled for a glowing complexion), an under-eye gel, and chapstick. Boom! Bedtime for me.
  7. Favorite meal — A huge money and time saver at dinner? Rotisserie chicken! Gone are my days of buying raw chicken, behold a full bird that can be the base of chicken tacos, chicken and couscous, and BBQ sandwiches. Aaron’s parents bought a rotisserie chicken to use for enchiladas and Aaron’s birthday dinner, as opposed to cooking it themselves. It added flavor and saved lots of time. Healthy and filling for sure!

Adding go-tos saves time and increases efficiency in my schedule. It feels good to add structure, bit-by-bit! This time next year I will be a well-oiled machine of discipline. It’s all part of the “fake it till you make it” lifestyle. The more billionaire habits I have, the sooner I’ll be a billionaire. Right? That’s how it works, right?

So, We’ve Established my Wanderlust

I’m always on the go! This time last weekend I was taking off from New York and headed back to Orlando for my 8AM workday Monday. Since then, I’ve been booked on another trip back in September, and there are now tentative (leaning towards affirmative, in my head) for another trip in November. Between that, Miami in September, Vermont in October, and my Italian sojourn in November, I’ll barely have time to be at home!

I haven’t met a person who doesn’t have at least some affinity for traveling. Sure, plenty of people have their grudges against airports, and we all have SOME “the person I sat next to on my flight was weird” story, but nothing beats a nice hotel with fresh, clean bed sheets.

I’ve been so many places in my life, and there’s still so many I want to go to at some point. Here’s a few places that top my list of where I want to go next (excluding spots on my Europe trip in November):

  1. Paris. I’ve already been twice, but I only got a taste of everything. I took a picture in front of the Notre Dame, but I didn’t go inside of it. It’s a city of fashion, food, and art, and I truly only had about three days total for both trips. I want to enjoy a croissant inside a quiet corner cafe on a rainy morning. Is my Audrey Hepburn showing?
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  2. Australia. If reincarnation is a thing, I truly hope I am borne again as a blue-eyed blonde surfer from Melbourne. I would love to spend my mornings on the beach, only to take my surfboard out to catch waves until the sunset. I’ve never been to Australia but my inner-nature girl craves shark diving off the Great Barrier Reef and climbing mountains to get to waterfalls. I think I’d spend two or three days exploring Sydney, then just find a new beach or mountain to explore every other day before getting swallowed whole by a large snake or spider.
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  3. Bali. Every influencer is doing yoga in the jungle, eating acai bowls out of coconuts and enjoying salt-soaked serenity in Ubud. But retreats cost like five thousand dollars and the average Balinese citizen doesn’t have much and apparently doing that “healing in nature” thing doesn’t really help them. I still want to go, but I think I’ll wait until I can do it the way I want, and then matching the overall price of the trip into a charitable donation to an organization that will help their economy. Or maybe they LIKE their simplistic non-Tesla lifestyle? I don’t know, I haven’t thought it through.
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  4. Norway/Sweden/Finland. I want to do a whole Nordic fjord trip, travelling fjords through ice cap villages. I would love to see the Northern Lights!
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  5. Iceland! This narrowly missed the “honeymoon” choice. I want to visit the Blue Lagoon so much. There’s so much “neature” in Iceland. Very aesthetic.
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  6. Scotland. This one was another strong contender for the honeymoon! Aaron got to visit Scotland last year as his first foray into Europe with his family, and I’d love one of our next trips to be a return for him and a virgin voyage for me. I’ve done Ireland, England and Wales, but I missed Scotland. I’d love to visit Belfast, Glasgow and Edinburgh, but I really want to visit the Scottish Isles, too. It’s real “Desktop background” beauty.
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  7. Whistler. I was fortunate enough to go on a handful of ski trips when I was younger, but it was always in Colorado or Utah. They were great trips, but I’d love to go to Canada for my first “grown-up” ski trip. I want to visit all of Canada too! I’ve been to Vancouver once before briefly (too young to really remember), and I went to a concert in Montreal five years ago. I’ve still got plenty to see!
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  8. Stowe. Did I say ski trip? Did I say that I went to the University of Vermont but never went skiing? Embarrassing, I know. I went to Stowe to investigate the potential for hosting my wedding, but while it ended up not as my choice, it made me so happy to even walk the canvas. I could picture the smell of smoky air that would come from post-ski fire pits, where people would take off their skis and enjoy a hearty bowl of chili before heading back out to the slopes or heading back to their lodge for a dip in the hot tub. That’s what I remember most about my ski trips as a kid! Stowe is one of the best spots in the US to ski, so I better go get proof for myself!
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  9. Austin. I did a layover in Dallas for three hours once when I was little, but that’s the extent of my time in Texas. Aaron’s family is from Texas (and he was born and raised to the age of six in San Antonio), and they have fond memories of Tejano music and Big Red. Austin now has a great music scene, art, and some of the best barbecue you’ll ever have. Get me a cowboy hat and a nice horse to tend to, stat!
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  10. Switzerland. Picturesque mountains and Swiss chocolate. I don’t think I’d require much else in life to be happy, honestly!
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I know I’ll get to all of these places one day. Who knows, maybe in ten years I can say I’ve been to all of these places! I’ve already seen so much of the world, and I’m so grateful. This list has barely scratched the surface, I haven’t even included my desire to see bio-luminescence! All I need is the money and the time.

And maybe a new pair of snow boots. Allons-y!

 

All images are from Instagram/Pinterest.

My Favorite Movies — Reevaluating

I have kept a list of my favorite movies and my favorite songs on my phone since I was 18, in case anyone ever asked. I was going into college and I thought “What’s your major?” was the stupidest question I ever heard. I didn’t have one picked out yet, and thought that no one would want to talk about their bio classes or their math formulas. Do those things really set souls on fire? As well, even if it’s a bit more of a selfish thought, would I really connect with someone about that sort of thing?

At any rate, I recently watched “Almost Famous” for the first time in a while, and I have always said that Almost Famous is my favorite movie.

Ten years later, it still is. I know the average feminist would say that parts of it are degrading to women, but the average feminist would say that Harry Potter isn’t feminist because of the Bechdel test even though every modern feminist was molded and shaped by Hermione Granger.

Political tea aside, “Almost Famous” is perfectly written, perfectly acted, and has one of the greatest soundtracks to any movie.

That said, I want to take a look at my other nine favorites, and see if they don’t need reevaluating. Let’s deep dive!

NOTE: No animated Disney exists on the top ten. They have a league of their own. It’s deserved.

2. Psycho — This movie truly triggered my fascination with the macabre, after reading “The Face on the Milk Carton” and watching (and being terrified by) an episode of “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” where the perp was a cult leader. The camera work, the plot twist reveal, and maybe the nostalgia of it all , knowing it was the first “slasher” movie and all, it’s still one of my favorites. I haven’t watched it in a while though, and I think I should.

3. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off — There’s probably at least five Buzzfeed videos talking about how Ferris is a bad person or a bad friend or a sociopath or something similar. Some people think Jake Paul is a sociopath, but cutting class to go to a museum, eating at a fancy restaurant, being in a parade and then destroying a car is a pretty low key Team 10 vlog. I think the reason why John Hughes’s coming-of-age films are so classic are because they were honest. There’s nothing cliched about Cameron and Sloane talking about their futures. Ferris’s antics may be a hyperactive version of that ONE friend, but we all have that manic fun kid who acts impulsively, lives his life to the fullest, and often does it all with a smile on his face and a song in his big dumb heart. And that “Twist and Shout” rendition can’t be beat.

4– The Breakfast Club. Damn John, back at it again with the relatable teen angst. I think, like Ferris Bueller, it’s an accurate way to depict what it’s like to be in a high school. I think it should be required viewing for everyone. I dont think that would be a cure all for bullying, but I think (hope) it would encourage everyone to recognize that we all have our own struggles that no one knows. In the words of the epic dance sequence, “We are not alone.”

5 — Forrest Gump. This movie is perfect and beautiful and American modern cinema at its finest. Alan Silvestri’s music inspired me so much that when I think of the motifs of the soundtrack, I’m instantly brought back to being a young eighth grader, sitting on the dock of my Appalachian summer camp, wishing the guy I liked would notice me. It idealizes some tough times in America but it’s pure at its core.

6 — The Devil Wears Prada. THIS. FREAKING. MOVIE. It is the millenial’s “Working Girl,” as we struggle through trying to make it in a world we dont understand under the heels of a “dragon lady”. True fans know that Miranda was not the true villain.

7 — Casablanca. I was going through a classic movie binge when I made this list, and its always stuck with me. Fantastic one-liners and a tough love story.

8 — The Parent Trap. This movie introduced me to London and The Beatles. I love this movie and will watch it almost every time it’s on tv.

9 — Inglorious Basterds. Hans Landa is without question one of the greatest villains in cinematic history. The writing, the acting, and yes, my Semite wish fulfillment of killing Nazis, make this a no-brainer. I will forever request whipped cream with my strudel.

10 — My Week with Marilyn. I love Marilyn Monroe. She was beautiful, smart, compassionate, and the world didnt give her enough time. This story of how one man saw beyond the pretty, aloof icon, into the real human who just wanted to be loved, is a lovely period piece that I would watch every week.

Truthfully, my list doesn’t need to be changed THAT much. If anything, I would remove one of the John Hughes movies or Casablanca and replace it with Black Swan. I think Black Swan is compelling, captivating, and brilliant. It belongs in my top 10. As well, Girl, Interrupted has been floating in my top 20 for years and I thought it should be higher on the list.

1 — Almost Famous

2 — Psycho

3 — The Breakfast Club

4 — Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

5 — Inglorious Basterds

6 — My Week with Marilyn

7 — Black Swan

8 — The Parent Trap

9 — The Devil Wears Prada

10 — Girl, Interrupted

I like my updated list, eight years later! I’m writing this from a plane, after having another terrible migraine yesterday. I will probably need to adjust formatting later.

And maybe this list again. I’m watching “Us,” for the third time since it came out in theaters. I think it’s my favorite movie of this year… and maybe more.

How Long Has it Been

My last post was on my 25th birthday. I’ve been 25 for almost a month. I haven’t written in almost a month.

Last week was my bridal shower, which went beautifully. I was surrounded by wonderful people and given lovely gifts for Aaron and I to fill our home. I am most excited about my new juicer and a honey pot shaped like an apple. Aaron is most excited for the espresso machine and counter-top herb garden.  It was all light and feminine and I feel truly blessed.

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This weekend, Aaron’s parents discussed the potential of us moving out of our current home to a house/townhome they’d buy to live in after we had been there for a year. Aaron was excited to decrease his commute and monthly rent. I was horrified at the idea of moving to the boonies and having a longer commute.

Aaron’s parents explained it as a deadline– be ready for our next career moves by the time they want to move in; we can move in whenever we want and pay less rent than we do now on our current house. I had mentally put myself on a deadline, but this makes it real. Sooner or later, I’m gonna have to walk the walk. I’m going to have to… do something to advance my career.

Me ignoring my responsibilities.

As a first step in making better decisions, I’m going to write every Sunday and Thursday.

Today let’s cover things I’m obsessed with right now!

TV SHOW: VEEP. I cannot believe I didn’t watch this show as it aired live, but I’m relieved I didn’t, because I’ve been binge watching like mad for the past week. It certainly allows me to relieve my own hostility between each character’s sharp insults. Selina Meyer is a terrible person and I would love to vote for her.

BOOK/CURRENT EVENTS: “Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup” by John Carreyrou. It’s the story of Elizabeth Holmes and the quick rise and even quicker collapse of Theranos. Elizabeth dropped out of Stanford to build a company that would completely revolutionize the health industry, eliminating the need for tubes of blood to make a diagnosis in exchange for a tiny finger prick put into an automatic blood analysis machine. She was backed by the nation’s ultimate economic, health, and military bigwhigs… and it was all a lie.

Elizabeth Holmes’ Fortune cover made her a star. Stars tend to burn bright… but they burn out, too.

MOVIE OBSESSION: I had been waiting to see “Midsommar” since I saw the first trailer about four months ago. It came out July 3 but I went to a 7PM screening the night before because I couldn’t wait. It was two and a half captivating hours. It’s been compared to “The Wicker Man” for being another example of cinematic folk horror, but I’m comparing it to “The Shining” in that both films succeed because they are so creepy. The whole movie has you on the edge of your seat because of how unsettling it is. There’s gore, uncomfortable nudity, and (unlike “The Shining”), a shocking opening scene that hits you RIGHT before the opening credits. The average viewer was chilled out of the ocean after seeing “Jaws,” and I guarantee “Midsommar” will make you second guess your next trip to the Nordic region.

This movie is beautiful and confusing. People in unstable relationships beware.

Last one:

BEAUTY PRODUCT: “Orgasm” blush by NARS. My cousin told me to get it YEARS ago, calling it an “essential”. At the time, I agreed! Then contouring became all the rage and I was terrible at applying blush so I ended up never using it again. My mom had it in her cosmetic shelf and I threw some on before my bridal shower, and it truly gave me a youthful glow. I bought it again the other day and I cannot wait to use it! I’m hoping it’ll wake up my complexion more so I look more alert during the work day.

These are a few of my favorite things!

I thought of something funnier than 24

Today is my 25th birthday. More specifically, at 11:30 PM (just half an hour from now), I will be 25 years old.

I’ve heard playful references to a “quarter-life” crisis hitting at 25, and I can’t say I don’t feel the vibes of it! I don’t look at it as a sudden awareness of my mortality, or a worry that my life is over before it’s even started. I think about it more in terms of a celebration of what is to come.

At 25, I’ve barely started my career. I haven’t gotten married, become a billionaire, and started a happy adorable family. That’s what success looks like, or at least the American Dream, right? I don’t know anyone who’s hit all of those checkpoints at 25, so suffice it to say, I’m certain my best years are still ahead of me.

This hit me in a wave on Sunday, when Aaron took me to a fancy restaurant for a pre-birthday birthday dinner. They were told that there was a “birthday” in our party, so they asked my name before seating us. When I said “My name is Mallory,” they replied, “Happy birthday, Valerie!”

Great songs aside, I get this a lot. Valerie, Melanie, Melody, Molly, I’ve heard every mispronunciation and seen every misspelling you can imagine. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t bother correcting people, and I’m certainly not offended by it by any stretch. You don’t meet many Mallorys, and according to my parents, I was not named after the character from “Family Ties,” they wanted to name me after my great grandfather Morris, and the name “Melissa” just didn’t feel right.

I last wrote about redefining expectations, and I think that my expectations are so ambivalent because I have two diverged dreams of what I want: I want to be that IT woman, the Anna Wintour-esque powerhouse type who has the corner office that gets written about in Forbes. I want to take NBC by the hand and lead it into the world of streaming digital media.

And then there’s another part of me who, if given thirty million dollars, would want to pay off my student debt, donate some of it to charity, and then go move to Australia and just eat fruit and surf all day. I went surfing once and I liked it, but I’d love to learn now and actually stand up on the board. Then I’d walk onto the shore and up to my beachfront house that has WiFi in every room and a coconut tree out back.

I think as far as mid-life crises go, being torn between two ideal universes is pretty mild-mannered.

Rather than focus on the potential, I want to focus back on the present. I didn’t have a big ostentatious party to celebrate my birthday, but I had an office of colleagues and work friends decorate my desk, sing me “Happy Birthday,” and bring me cake and pie and smoothies and balloons. I received a flurry of texts and messages wishing me happy birthday. Voicemails were left, as were letters and mail packages.

I genuinely don’t remember what I did for my 24th birthday, but I think I’ll remember today. The love I felt and the gestures I received made my heart feel so full.

Between the gifts and the well-wishes, I felt very grateful for the life I have. My family is kind, my friends are thoughtful, and the people in my space are open-minded with warmth in their hearts. It makes me want to hug the whole planet! If my life is this good now, at 25, I can only imagine what kind of life I will have when I hit that “mid-life crisis.”

After they had taken my “name” at the restaurant, they took a photo of Aaron and I, framed it, and wrote “Happy Birthday, Valerie!” in pretty calligraphy. It serves as a firm reminder to me of what I want from my future:

At 25, I am too quiet to correct someone who mispronounces my name. At 50, every room I enter will be one where everyone knows my name.

To the world, my friends, my family: thank you for a wonderful birthday, and a wonderful first 25 years. Let’s see what happens in the next 25!

gary