Reevaluating Expectations

I’ve been struggling a lot with expectations for myself lately. I feel like my brain is forever running at a million miles an hour while still somehow only actually getting 1 mile in distance. Maybe the reason I struggle so much with weight loss is because my brain is constantly moving and digesting, so I think I’m burning more than I actually am.
I feel like I keep compounding expectations for my body and my mind, expectations that I set for myself based on expectations that my fiancé, friends, and family set for me. When it comes to my weight loss for this year, I keep trying to live like I lived when I lost weight the first time around, but that isn’t necessarily possible. At that time in my life I was desperate, walking everywhere, and had the opportunity to live a life away from everyone else’s opinions. Nowadays I don’t have any of those luxuries. I am forever en communicado with the people I love and my city is only walked two streets at a time by the bold jaywalking tourists. I’ve joined the rat race and it shows.

I think most people would agree that having people is easier than being alone, and I’m not saying that’s not fair, but it puts you on a different wavelength than you are when you have only yourself to give you feedback. I feel like now I’m working as another entity, as a friend/sister/daughter/girlfriend, when I should be working as Mallory, who happens to be all those things.
It’s possible that it all comes from an increasing volume of responsibility, in which all of these people who influence me may have an impact on my choices, but they will suffer little to no consequences of my actions. That level of responsibility is only going to grow as I continue to develop as an adult, so maybe my being stagnant in my own mental state or the presence of my mental roadblocks stem from a fear of failing with that inevitable additional responsibility. It’s almost as though if I were to stay in the same place, it’d be impossible for me to move up and have more responsibility.
It’s impossible for me to have no outside influence at this point in my life. But I should at least lessen their impact or not even include them in my day-to-day. I can still keep my life separate from theirs without shutting anyone out completely. How am I supposed to grow if I let everyone else do the growing for me?

The Root of All Laziness

This morning I rolled out of bed and went to the gym. I came home and took a shower. In the shower I thought to myself, “Hm. My stomach kinda hurts.”

I got out of the shower and started making celery juice. Mid-blend I thought to myself, “Oh, my stomach does hurt.”

I finished my juice, brought a coffee to Aaron, and leaned over to kiss him goodbye and thought to myself, “Okay, yeah, my stomach definitely hurts.”

Then I hopped into my car and started off to work. I thought to myself “Good lord. I’m in so much pain. I cannot move. Call 911. I need to go home.”

My poor stomach! I got into the office and went home two hours later, thanks to my understanding supervisor. I can’t describe how much pain I had this morning. I couldn’t talk, I could barely move, it felt like I was being attacked by tiny men in my body banging away at my organs with small hammers.

But! I put on sweatpants, took an ibuprofen, and quickly put a heating pad over my tummy, and by 5PM I was back to normal. It was a tough day but immediately after my work day I got the dishes done.

I sat down to watch Netflix before dinner and I have not really gotten up since!

The epiphany has happened: IT’S. THIS. COUCH.

liz lemon sleeping

I collapse onto it, and then I collapse on myself, getting up only to eat whatever is most convenient in the pantry or the fridge. I fall asleep and then wake up to scroll Instagram, then keep my eyes on the screen until I go to sleep in my actual bed.

I sound depressed. Or tired. I love that it’s both.

I need to stay away from this couch every night except Fridays. I like being productive! It’s just so easy to get lethargic in a sofa this cozy.

I want to start working on my Italian before my trip later this fall. That’s what I should be doing with my lying around time! I need to get off this cozy chair and go do something. It’s almost 9 PM, but in general.

Speaking of, 9 PM my last two brain cells are disintegrating, so I think my mark of productivity for the evening will be a quick bullet journal entry, washing my hair and going to bed at a reasonable hour.

 

 

Getting back to basics

I said that I only wanted to write when I felt positive, or when I felt neutral. Hence, I haven’t written in almost two weeks.

I’ve had some nice moments in the past two weeks, and I can’t say I’ve felt particularly depressive, and yet I’ve been uninspired to write. I’m emotionally drained. I’ve come home at night wanting to write and clean, and then I get in the couch and I just… sank into the cushions.

getout

I feel unproductive and lost. I need a burst of energy, an inspiration to get me moving again. I felt good this week drinking celery juice and I just got my hair done, but something is definitely off about my mental state. My social media detox lasted about three days, and now everything is back on my phone.

What can I say, Youtube drama doesn’t last and everything is back to normal! Maybe I just need a new normal.

I want to take this little brain hibernation positively, as though it’s a sign from the universe that a change has to come. I just don’t know where I need to manifest this energy. The stress from my work is coming to an end this week, as mostly everything and everyone has been migrated. That will probably help my brain return to a more positive place.

There is a crow screaming outside my house right now.  I went outside to see if it was, in fact, a raven (I’ve made that mistake before), and I threw out the dead flowers that were sitting on the counter. It was a step in the right direction.

I need to steam my clothes. I need to do my nails. I need to chop up some celery to make juice in the morning. I need to clean my space!

I will be back. My brain just needs a spark. Let’s spark some Joy.

 

Joy is my last name. It’s fine. Thank you.

Good Vibes Only?

I’ve wanted to write this week almost every day, but each day it was motivated by a negative emotion! I don’t want to be just overwhelmed by dark energy.

With that, I think I want a social media detox.

This past week has been almost too much for me emotionally. A nasty law has me questioning my own autonomy, my favorite platform is overrun by exposure of imperfections and inappropriate behavior, and an Instagram model is just crushing my self esteem right now.

I think if I hopped off Twitter, Instagram, and Reddit for a while, my brain might begin to connect with myself again. I’m wondering if maybe my inability to define my brand, the look I want to bring to the world, stems from an inability to find what *I* like. I feel like I’m so concerned with how other people are living their lives and what other people are doing that I’m not paying attention to what *I* want. Instead, I’m focusing on how other people are living the life that I want… being beautiful and living by the ocean. I WANNA LIVE IN BATHING SUITS AND DO SUNRISE YOGA ON THE BEACH EVERY DAY. How does that work?

I feel like I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want to see that stuff anymore, but I think I should be aware that it exists. It’s almost a cycle of nonsense. I should be cognizant of the manipulation of truth, inflated egos, and political issues that impact others, even if it doesn’t directly impact me.

People keep in touch with me on Facebook, so I want to just keep Messenger open, and jury’s still out on Pinterest. I love finding recipes on Pinterest, and fashion inspiration, but I have a lot of weight loss topics in my thread regularly, varying from different workouts (helpful) to yoga girls with abs in sports bras (hurtful).

Again: pretending that fit, healthy women don’t exist feels very “ignorance is bliss.” At the same time, not constantly having it shoved in my face may help my self-esteem.

I think I want to go three months without it. I think it may also help me be more productive, since I tend to get lost in my social media accounts without noticing time passing by, only to then be running late because I’ve been staring at my phone.

Writing that out actually solidified it for me. Productivity wins. I just removed Instagram, Reddit, Pinterest, and Twitter from my phone. Youtube is staying, only because I tend to find new music in my “Recommendeds,” but I admit that most of my addiction comes from Youtube sending me down rabbit holes. I think if I turn on enough of the right kind of video, I can re-calibrate what Youtube THINKS I want to see and I can get a fresh start that ONLY has music, meditations, Alan Watts lectures, and… I don’t know, ASMR videos? I do kind of like those.

zoe3.gif
It’s a Tide Ad. No, it’s Zoe Kravitz in a 2019 Super Bowl ad for Michelob. Fun fact, ASMR is quite lovely but finding a non-uncomfortable GIF of it is a challenge. 

I’m hoping that not being as distracted by social media will help me read more, listen to more podcasts, and become a better listener in general. I get the sense that Aaron gets peeved when I “scroll” when he wants to talk to me, and I in turn get peeved when he wants to talk to me when I’m trying to focus on what I’m looking at on my phone. This will eliminate the problem, right?

IN ADDITION: I find that nine times out of ten, I can’t watch a show straight on. More often than not, I need to be doing something else on social media while I watch something. Maybe not having that extra stimulation will help me focus on what shows actually hold my interest, maybe even what foods hold my interest!

I think this will be good in the long haul. I wonder how long I can actually last! I don’t want to leave social media forever by any means, I kind of just want to wait out whatever’s happening, and stop being so consumed by it. Cold Turkey feels the way to go. Deleting the apps feels almost safe.

Only good feelings from here, folks! Toxic stimulation begone. Mallory’s going to give the real world a try.

That’s so… on brand?

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how to find my aesthetic. I partially (if not fully) blame Lauryn Evarts Bosstick, AKA the #Bossbabe behind “The Skinny Confidential.” It appears that she has been a hot-pink lover for years. Her blog is pink,  her office is pink, it’s all cool, LA girl Barbie-Meets-Kardashian. It’s like Playboy, but instead of objectification and misogyny, it’s empowerment and being true to your you.

I don’t really think I have an identifying, signature thing about me. When I think about things I’ve always liked, New York stands out the most. I’ve always loved the streets of Manhattan, the glitz and the glamour and the possibilities. That said, I’m not really sure how I’d build an aesthetic off of that. I’ve always liked the different decades, but you see the plurality? I love the neon of the eighties, the faded but violent seventies, the classy yet youthful sixties. I’m not entirely sure I could build my entire personal aesthetic around that.

IF I were to just focus on New York, I think immediately of classy white with VOGUE font. Crisp, classic, Upper East Side in the nineties, I suppose. That doesn’t really fit me either, because I love pops of color.

Looking back, I think that I truly got sold on New York City when I was seven. I had already started falling in love with Broadway shows, but it was in music class when my teacher put on “Fantasia 2000” and I heard Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin for the first time. The vignette takes place in what looks like 1930s New York City, and depicts the lives of a little girl with workaholic parents (relatable. I just realized that. Wow. I need a minute), a construction worker with a passion for jazz percussion, a wealthy couple starving for more –in more ways than one– and an unemployed man down on his luck. It opens with the sunrise over the NYC skyline, which stood out to me as a kid, because it looks like they draw it all with an Etch-a-Sketch, all one line set to the opening clarinet solo. The short has a happy ending (spoiler alert), and it all culminates in an epic finale that fades out with a shot of Times Square, all lit up with majesty.

RhapsodyFinale

I get shivers thinking about it. Hearing the finale used for Jay Gatsby eleven years later made me almost burst into tears in the theatre. Who better to symbolize the hope and potential of New York than The Great Gatsby?

I think a lot of who I am as a person can also be attributed to my love of food. Lately, I feel like I should stop being mad at my sweet tooth and just start owning it. I want to find the balance between being a cute chocoholic without… getting type 2 diabetes.

Along with that, I think I’m well defined by my near-childlike sense of wonder. I don’t think of it as clinging to youth, but more like holding fast to the belief that all things in life are possible and beautiful.

Since doing my 30 Days of Poetry Challenge, I’ve been spending more time in Photoshop. I’m no graphic designer by any means, but I think I’m going to try to make a logo of an infinity symbol with my name on the top lip. Is that cliche? I find all things infinite. I bet that every brand specialist would tell me that the first rule is to define myself and to not care what anyone else thinks, but simultaneously, I feel like infinity symbols are very cliche, very basic.

I guess when you get to the root of it, things are basic because they’re relatable. My film professor always hated that word. I love that even autocorrect is giving me a red squiggle for it (it’s also giving me the red squiggle for the word autocorrect, for a little added irony). I don’t think there’s wrong with speaking to something everyone feels. Someone took a mathematical symbol and made it emblematic of the possibilities of life. Possibilities are limitless, the very universe we live in is infinite.

I think this is all part of the process. For now, I’m going to fold the laundry that has been piling up– the Photoshop can wait, that laundry can’t. I’m going to look up some books on how to “Build a Brand.” Maybe I’ll learn something about myself in the process.

Speaking of learning about myself in the process, I turned on “Rhapsody in Blue” while writing this post and wouldn’t you know it: I’m pretty sure the young girl subplot has me in a different dimension.

I will include some final thoughts because I’m Tomi Lahren, only an unsuccessful, irrelevant version:

  1. I’ve been obsessing over Emily Ratajkowski lately, and she has the NERVE. The AUDACITY. To post this photo on Instagram:

    WARNING: NSFW PICTURE UNDER THIS LINE. SHE IS TOPLESS IN THIS PHOTO.

    emrata

    Get a load of that caption. You see that hair? THAT’S MY NATURAL HAIR. EMILY RATAJKOWSKI CALLS MY HAIR HER DREAM HAIR. TAKE ALL OF IT IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR PERFECTLY FLAT STOMACH, MADAM.

  2.  I made shrimp scampi for dinner last night and had the leftovers for dinner– I heated them in a pan and not the microwave and honestly? Groundbreaking.
  3. As far as my sweet tooth goes, my absolute favorite is Hershey Kisses. I think if I had an office, the foyer would feature three huge vertical tubes of Hershey Kisses. But then, who’s going to actually go diving in the tube besides me, for Hershey Kisses? Everyone else would just be so blase but I’d be walking people to the door and get caught with my entire arm down the tube of Hershey Kisses. Otherwise the chocolate goes to waste and I would never.
  4. I love Ed Sheeran so much but kind of don’t like that he’s BFFs with Justin Bieber. Justin is fine and talented but he’s best buds with Chris Brown and like…
    NeneLeakes.JPG
  5. There is no gif for Tomi Lahren on Google saying “Those are my final thoughts, from LA, God bless and take care” with her spirit fingers esque wave and it’s disgusting. That needs to exist. Do I have to make that? How is this on me?

 

 

 

The Prince(ss) Skinny Legend That Was Promised

I feel like I’m going through a strange transition in my journey of self-love. I find myself engaging in more toxic habits, as in, binge eating without abandon. I’ve gained weight, and I’m really disappointed in myself. But with that, I’ve had photos taken of me in the past tow months, and each time I’ve looked at them, I’ve thought I looked good.

I scrutinize instantly, without thought, and sure, after a while, you find something to hate. But more often than not, my thought has been “oh, I look cute!” rather than “Diet starts tomorrow.” Two nights ago, Aaron and I went to a late night Disney event. Not wanting to do anything when we got home at 2 AM, I made the pre-emptive choice to go makeup-less to the event. I look pretty, in my opinion, in the photos from that night. Granted, that could’ve just been Disney working its trademark magic, but who is to say the magic couldn’t have also been me?

Self love is a weird journey to travel. You have such a delicate boundary between loving your body by giving it clean water, maintaining your hygiene, and feeding it greens, while simultaneously living vicariously and ordering dessert because life is too short. I’m such a “Have some chocolate every night to stay sane” kind of girl, and I stilll don’t know if that’s toxic behavior.

My mom, out of the kindness of her heart, bought me some pretty dresses to update my summer wardrobe. I was freaking out to try them on, but they all fit and flattered! Meanwhile, six hours ago, I was freaking out at my reflection about having a thick upper body (too big a chest, larger shoulders).

ee40b545e8442e90cc4c6cf679e243b8
Raw footage of me in the bathroom looking at my shoulders this afternoon. But actually, “Neil Patrick Harris/Taylor Swift.” SNL, NBC. 10 January 2009.

I felt most comfortable in my skin when I was thinner, and I acknowledge that I need to make healthier choices when I eat. I also want to work out harder, I’ve been so sleepy when I get to the gym in the morning that I don’t push myself to the hardest I can go. I want to change that.

More than that: I feel like I’m so close to being unstoppable, but not being conventionally beautiful (read: meet society’s standards of beauty) keeps me from truly excelling. I agree that standards are changing, but I still feel like more likely than not successful women are fit and healthy. Michelle Obama comes to mind, as do the most accomplished ladies in my workplace. Not a hair out of place, full face of makeup, body by spin class (I say, having loved Soul Cycle but it’s not in my city yet? I DEMAND IT), that describes a lot if not all of the women I aspire to be, aesthetically.

At my most confident, imagine: strong, smart, compassionate, loyal, friendly, ambitious, talented, AND beautiful? That girl conquers the world. I feel like that is my destiny. I want that as my future. I want it as my present, but I’m ready to work towards it. Whose to say that by the time I get to “Mission Accomplished,” I’ve moved up a step or two in my career?

But with that, I have to go to sleep at a decent hour. It’s 9:50 (didn’t I JUST say I was going to stop being on the computer at 8 PM?), and it’s time to get in bed.

sleepkeepsyouprettygilmoregirls
“Here Comes the Sun.” Gilmore Girls, The WB. 13 May 2003.

 

Well, well, well…

As I mentioned at some point earlier, I’ve been doing a “poetry a day” challenge. I’ve been incorporating photo editing to each poem, so it’s a two hour process, and as a result, I haven’t been able to blog as much. I have to be honest, I love writing poetry… but I’ve missed this!

I have a lot of laundry to iron and put away, but I did half of it and now my “ironing” hand hurts. Now is as good as time as ever to come back!

This week I would like to start fresh: drinking water, healthy sleep schedule…I even purchased a WOMEN’S MULTIVITAMIN (this post is sponsored by SugarBear Hair [no it is not I just bought them]). I look at some of the women in my “#goals” list and I notice some similarities. I think it’s time I take stock in it!

  1. Solid morning routine. Warm water with lemon seems to be the go-to for every influencer and Angel. What I want to do is start my mornings with this lemon water, yoga, and meditation.
  2. Varied workout routines. Yoga seems to be a consistent go-to, along with dance or self-defense inspired workouts. Boxing and Barre seem to guarantee limbs that are both long and strong. I’m down, honestly!Side Note: I will note that these are a bunch of skinny women, and I don’t know if workouts for girls with a much lower body fat percentage will work for me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try them. I’ve always wanted to be super-hero strong, with cutie lil’ arm muscles but thin legs.
  3. Diet preferences. Get shocked — lots of veggies, little dairy, lean proteins. Have a dessert once in a while to avoid feeling crazy. Emily Ratajkowski says that she eats lots of carbs and plenty of dessert. She eats a pastry for breakfast and goes out for dinner regularly.
    Emily-Ratajkowski
    I DON’T BELIEVE YOU EMILY. I. DON’T. BELIEVE. YOU.
  4. Sweet Dreams — These girls get seven to eight hours of sleep a night. This seems not impossible, and probably a strong habit to develop before I have kids (eventually). I think I want to start striving for seven hours of sleep, and then if I can add the extra hour, I will make it happen. If I wake up at five, I have to go to bed at ten. I think getting in bed by nine is doable.
    I’m headed to Disney for a late night event tonight, so I won’t be able to enact this one until tomorrow night. In general, I want to turn my computer off at eight. If two hours isn’t enough time on the computer for me, I have a much bigger problem.
  5. Hydration — OKAY, I GET IT. You all drink water and use coconut oil. that appears to be the magic elements: coconut and water. I’ll start incorporating it more.
  6. Tuning in — There seems to be a pattern of connection. The girls I look up to all seem to do yoga, meditate, or some combination of practices that enable them to listen to their bodies more.

So in summary — clean eating, workouts that combine strength training and cardio, and connection with the body, mind, and soul.

With that, I’m going to do my poem for the day. The theme is “reflection.” How’s that for connection to the soul?

On Your Mark, Jet Set, Go!

I’ve had another busy week, but I feel like I’m getting a lot done tonight. I decided to “sleep in” today until 6:45, rather than go to the gym. I got to enjoy my morning wake-up with Aaron as a result, and even had time to do a face mask before work. It was a work-from-home Wednesday, which is always a lovely reprieve. I tend to take Wednesday mornings for myself to have a nice leisurely morning. It’s a great way to celebrate “hump day”. Tuesdays tend to wear me out more than other days.

During my lunch “break,” I did all the dishes in my sink and took care of a few other chores. I got to end my work day with a clean kitchen that immediately got messy again when I hurricane’d my way through to make dinner.

In between the end of my work day and making dinner, I decided to make up for the lack of a morning gym trip by going for a run. It was a sunny afternoon but there was good wind blowing. It’s nice to see my neighborhood awake with dogs on their post-workday walk, families bringing home the kids from their schoolday, lawn and cable workers smiling wearily as they return to their cars to go home for the night… we’re all on our routines.

I alternated between walking and running, and it reminded me of when I used to walk to and from class. Those daily walks kept me sane, and I don’t think I ever appreciated them.

After thoroughly appreciating perfectly grilled quesadillas (filled with veggies and meatless crumbles for me… with a side of homemade guac, thank you!) and welcoming Aaron home from work (I may have made him a bowl of edible cookie dough — the trick is to not use eggs!), I cleaned up from dinner and wrote a quick poem about body image for today’s “escapril” (that 30 day poetry challenge for National Poetry Month).

So we have:
Productive work day
Quality Workout
Cleaned living space
Nutrient dense dinner
Poetry of the day completed

Not bad, right? Now all that’s left is to wash my hair and pack for my trip.

Oh yes, I’m going back to New York. It’s a quieter trip this time, as I’m visiting to spend the Jewish holidays with my family (happy almost Passover!).

Here are a few fun travel tips I’ve picked up over the years (from experience and from family members instilling it from day one):

  1. DON’T PACK THE MORNING OF YOUR TRIP. Guess what? You need a new charger. You can’t find that shirt you were going to wear. You forgot to pack socks. Don’t wait until the morning of, especially if/when there’s a risk you’re going to run out of time.
  2. GET TO THE AIRPORT TWO HOURS BEFORE YOUR FLIGHT DEPARTURE TIME. I adjust this as needed, since holiday flights tend to make me a bit more cautious and I’ll add time. As well, certain airports I’ve visited are frequently D-E-A-D, and I can push it to an hour and fifteen minutes before the flight leaves. I’d rather sit in the airport with a book (or treat myself to a magazine) for an extra thirty minutes than risk huffing and puffing from a line to my gate (or worse… missing my flight).

    Fun travel anecdote: Once, an entire flight I was on checked in early. The pilot showed up and said “Hey, you guys are all here, you wanna just take off early?” and we left ahead of schedule! It’s only happened once, but when everyone plans ahead, we all win.

  3. TREAT YOUR SKIN RIGHT IN-FLIGHT. I’ve stopped wearing makeup and contact lenses on red-eye flights. Sometimes I wear makeup if I know I’m landing during the day, but if anything, I’ll do my skin routine before I head out and then apply makeup when I know we’ve hit that “last ten minutes before the descent” sweet spot. MOISTURIZE. I personally have started doing sheet masks on airplanes. It is just… blissful. HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS.
  4. Your “personal item” should have a zipper. Pick something sturdy that won’t accidentally fall open and spill everything during turbulent bumps mid-flight.
  5. Start the security “strip” process two people before you get to the conveyor belt. Lose the shoes, take off your sweatshirt, grab your laptop/kindle and your “clear bag of liquids and aerosols.” Once your time has come, BOOM, slap your carry-on bag/personal item on the belt, placing your shoes next to them then grab a tray for your needed products and immediately place it on the belt. Your speed will benefit you, both in terms of convenience for the people around you, and also startling them into paying attention because wow, you’re moving really fast, you’ve DONE THIS BEFORE, HAVEN’T YOU? Yes, I have. Thank you for noticing.
  6. Pack warm pajamas. Nine times out of ten, your hotel room will be cold, not hot. I perpetually have cold feet, so I bring fuzzy warm socks no matter where I’m going.
  7.  Download Spotify playlists. In this post-iTunes library world, I recommend saving your favorite Spotify playlists to your phone so you don’t have a soundtrack-less flight. I sleep on flights regularly, and I have a few relaxing musical playlists saved to my phone to get me in that nice zen state of mind. If you want to use your three hour jaunt to catch up on podcasts, don’t forget to download those, too! I’m still of the opinion that paying for in-flight wifi is a waste unless you need to complete business work. If I can go seven hours without Instagram, so can you. I PROMISE.
  8. Pack for every quick-fix necessity. Advil. Pepto tablets. PADS. You will hate yourself for not planning ahead if you get nausea or are surrounded by a chorus of screaming children on your flight.
  9. FREQUENT FLYERS – Create a separate makeup kit for your travels. They don’t have to be perfect, expensive palettes like your normal everyday wear. Wet n’ Wild products are bomb and tend to be cheaper, which make them ideal for when you want to have a full face without risking leaving your Fenty in a hotel room. Those samples you get after spending too much at Sephora? BRING THEM. THIS IS THEIR TIME. Don’t forget makeup remover wipes! 
  10. BRING CASH. ALWAYS. Tips. Credit card mishaps. Things, life, just happens. Be prepared. That’s what this whole list is about, honestly. Be prepared beforehand so you can enjoy everything else when you land.

With that, it’s 9:23. In bed by 10:30? Let’s give it a try.

The Many Moods of a Workout

This week has been one of mediocre workouts. To be honest, I haven’t had a GREAT workout in a while. I haven’t left the gym feeling sweaty and accomplished in a few weeks, and I’m disappointed about it. I agree that working out regularly is more than can be said for a lot of people, but if I’m waking up at the crack of dawn, missing out on an extra hour or two of sleep, to do something good for my body, shouldn’t it be time well spent?

To me, the only two things you need to have a good workout are motivation and the right soundtrack. I have three playlists that I work with regularly. If you’re reading this and wanting some new “tunage” for your workout, maybe some of these will help!

The “Superhero Playlist”

This is my playlist for when I want to feel super strong. When I want to watch my form in the mirror and see my muscles “jump” with each movement, this is my go-to. I tend to stick to this playlist when I’m strength-training, and it makes me feel like Wonder Woman. Or Thor.

spotify:user:1271959391:playlist:7nfgDk94crwsVacZfurTxp

 

The “Happy Playlist”

I save this one for when I’m just… D E A D. Some days I feel foggy but still alert, it’s the same sensation that, if I decide to let it put me back to bed after turning off my alarm, I end up playing on my phone until 6:30 instead of sleeping. When I recognize that mental/physical state, this playlist gets me up and at ’em at the gym. It’s all feel-good, can’t help but smile songs.

spotify:user:1271959391:playlist:3xAYxdp7A7SmZ54o0sJUMT

This music always gets me ready to bounce my way through a workout. I regularly dance from one set of weights to the next using this playlist! I kNoW, I’m such a DORK.

“Chapter Ten: The Lost Weekend”. Riverdale, The CW. 17 April 2017.

The “CW Theory” Playlist

I’ll talk about this with anyone who will listen: EVERYONE ON THE CW IS ATTRACTIVE. Think about it: Stephen Amell, Nina Dobrev, Jared Padalecki, Madelaine Petsch, all GORGEOUS people. “Gossip Girl” aired on the CW and EVERYONE on that show was beautiful. 

Katie Cassidy has been on four shows on The CW so like case in point.

Moral of the story is, find a fanvid on Instagram of someone on a CW show, and chances are that song will motivate you through your workout: be hot enough to be on the CW. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

spotify:user:1271959391:playlist:12zKqGIrRSpSey4klHq4PL

I’ve barely listened to these playlists for the past month. I bet that has SOMETHING to do with it. I will return to this roundup with this week’s workouts.

Have you ever had a Marionberry Pancake?

I’m obsessed with Portlandia, because it reminds me of Burlington. In their “Brunch Village” episode the daily special of the popular brunch spot is marionberry pancakes. I think they were going for the most obscure berry they could think of to obtain that “why is it” niche. Literally, take half of these sketches and put them on Church Street, and you wouldn’t notice.

“Brunch Village.” Portlandia, IFC. 9 March 2012

This week has been exhausting, especially compared to how blissful the weekend had been. Thankfully, nothing too maddening happened this week, but as we get further into our site migration, there’s more for us to learn-by-doing.

That said, there are a few things that I feel myself losing patience on frequently this week. People are trying to adjust their website without knowing how to do it. Imagine being a mechanic and standing next to someone with a flat tire, and the person wants to repair the flat tire on their own, but wants you to explain it to them, and when you tell them “You need a spare tire” they ask what a spare tire is. At that point, just let the mechanic repair the tire. This is not your time, my love.

With that, there is a sense of camaraderie with my coworkers. We know what it means when “Beverly” needs help, or when “Fred from Chicago” is on the phone. Then comes the pregnant pause after the phone call ends, and the coworker is like “OH. MY. GOD.” and we can all reply back with “Dude, I know.” It also helps me with appreciating the GOOD customers more. I’d give my life for “Carly.” Call me with help with the website whenever you need it, okay?

I’ve come up with a tactic when I feel like I’m about to snap. I just close my eyes and pretend I’m floating in the ocean, and I’m surrounded by tiny seahorses (solid “Napoleon Dynamite” reference). Then there’s jellyfish in my head, and I move my hand like it’s a jellyfish. The movement REALLY calms me down and diffuses my tension.

Light. Happy. Free. It’s me.
This image is from Tumblr.
I’m not certain if this is a real jellyfish it looks animated.

The theme song for Portlandia is really chill, too. It’s called “Feel it All Around” by Washed Out, and it does remind me of walking Church Street like I did in college.

It’s flashback Friday, and I’m feeling the nostalgia tonight for UVM hard. I’ve been doing a poem a day, and today’s theme was “Back to Nature.” I kept thinking about the times I’d just walk through the colors of UVM, whether it was the trees on campus or lying in the snow on a dead silent night. I have a lot of good memories. I can’t wait to move to New York, but I want to retire in Vermont. I want to have a nice home where I can hike and go to a farmer’s market for fresh vegetables.

I will make it happen one day. For now, I’m going to get ready for bed.

After one more episode.