2020 Resolutions – October!

This week, I feel oddly fatigued, which will likely make working through this week’s check-in a little bit of a bummer! Still, I only have three more check-ins for this dumpster fire of a year. Without further adieu, let’s take a looky-loo!

1. Read 52 books – I was supposed to read ten books this month. I read three. Dang.

2. Do pull ups – I’m kind of losing faith in this one. I actually didn’t go to the gym all last week because of an injury! I’m feeling better this week, so hopefully things will get better.

3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING – Okay, I want to say that I did a good job this month! I still find myself reaching for my phone, but I fall down less meaningless rabbit holes on social media. I still like scrolling while I finish my steps, and that’s kind of my goal! If I’m gonna scroll, I have to meet a goal.

4. Write 104 Blog Posts – Nailed it. Crushed it. Gonna keep crushing it. <- I wrote this last month. Still applies! Yahoo! <- I wrote this last month, too! Still applies! Double yahoo! <- We got ourselves a triple yahoo! <- Look out guys… it’s a QUADRUPLE YAHOO.

5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021 – T minus sixty days to our end of year getaway!

6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – I did well with this this month, save for a two-hour Youtube video exposing an influencer scam.

7. Take better care of my skin – I went to the dermatologist this month to get a refill on my prescription. They recommended a topical ointment and suggested a new cleanser. THE CLEANSER MADE MY SKIN FLAKE LIKE A CEREAL CRISP. That said, I need to moisturize and wear more sunscreen.

8. Go stargazing – OKAY HEAR ME OUT FOR A MINUTE. I didn’t go stargazing BUT I did the bioluminescent kayaking trip I mentioned at the beginning of the year with a friend! That, combined with all the wonderment I’ve been feeling when staring at the stars on my sunrise walks has me feeling like I sort of accomplished this. That said, “sort of” and I aren’t good friends. I think I owe it to myself to actually sit and learn some constellations, and then try to find them on a clear night (or a clear morning, at like 5AM).

9. Get a new job – I applied. Had an interview. Still goose egg. Still trying.

10. Do a handstand – Still lowkey crushing this. I’m a little worried that I may need to lose weight to give my body less to lift, but I’m still on my hands every day I go to the gym!

11. Go see two of my favorite performers – Still not happening this year. BUT I’m adding Adele to the list.

12. Lose weight – I genuinely think I completely failed at this one. It feels bad. I’m still going to do my best, but it’s hard to not feel like a loser, and not in the way that you want in a weight loss goal.

13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – Mission accomplished! Now, what to get him for Christmas?

14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter and granddaughter – I’ve seen friends in person, done a Skype chat, and went to a bridal shower of my soon-to-be-married friend! Aaron and I had a great anniversary together, but I feel like every time I cheat on my diet I let him down in some way. At our anniversary dinner I asked him how to be a better wife and he said “Be healthier, and be more mindful.” I do need to work on both of those things! I talked to my brother and sister regularly this month. I also went home to visit my mom! I didn’t call my grandparents once. I feel so terrible.

15. Be happy – I think that this month, I felt very disappointed in myself. I had great times with Aaron, the few friends I saw, and some good personal victories, but overall, I know how mediocre this month was in terms of my goals. It’s hard to be happy when you’re letting yourself down so constantly. I owe it to my mental sanity to do better, to BE better.

I think I need to give myself a sliding scale at the end of the year. Add in the circumstances of the plague (and how that should have balanced/tipped certain scales) and the rest of 2020’s shortcomings to see how I REALLY did. The ones I really fell behind in should be a priority for next year. We shall see! For now, I am going to finish my steps while I listen to an audiobook, and then I am going to fall asleep at an extremely early hour. Sweet dreams!

2020 Resolutions Check In – September!

In two days, we’ll be in the final quarter of the year! How wacky for us to go from the final third to the final fourth just like that? I’ve seen multiple tweets about how fast this month flew by and I am very much in agreement. October 1, things will take a turn for the spooky once again… but hopefully, some fun spooks in lieu of the daily horror that awaits outside or in the news.

Without further adieu, let’s review!

1. Read 52 books – By this week’s reading post, I believe I will have three months (give or take) to read half of the books I wanted to read to land this goal. Call me crazy, but I think I can pull it off with the right focus!

2. Do pull ups – I hit a stalemate on this goal. I unfortunately think I’m too heavy to properly pull myself up all the way. I’m going to keep trying but I’m feeling less optimistic this month!

3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING – I have had better months and I have had worse months. I spend way too many hours on my phone. If anything I should be channeling that habit into something more constructive, like only being able to scroll while on a treadmill or on a walk (SAFELY, not in traffic!), so I’m not in full sloth mode and melting my brain.

4. Write 104 Blog Posts – Nailed it. Crushed it. Gonna keep crushing it. <- I wrote this last month. Still applies! Yahoo! <- I wrote this last month, too! Still applies! Double yahoo! <- We got ourselves a triple yahoo!

5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021 – Not only do we have plans for our end-of-year vacation, but we have a wedding in the Keys in the middle of December! We’re staying at a nice hotel with a lovely pool. It’ll be a lovely tip-top way to be together. I’m counting the days! I love weddings!

6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – I did relatively well with this this month! I found a new gossip channel that I find amusing, but I’m practicing discernment on which videos I view. I’ve actively avoided an “event” (something like a scandal, but not quite as salacious) this past week. I’m hoping to keep this focus (or lack thereof) in the future!

7. Take better care of my skin – I am seeing SOME results! I feel like my scarring isn’t as prominent. I am worried about a breakout that I have right now, but I did spend part of my weekend in the scorching hot sun in a mask. I’ll take situational, quick-clearing breakouts over my seemingly permanently uneven tones any day!

8. Go stargazing – About a week ago, a perfect triangle was formed in the sky by surrounding planets! I dragged Aaron out to see it with me and we were pleasantly content to look at the sky for ten minutes. I suggested that we go stargazing on the eve of our anniversary, since things will be far less muggy and buggy! I hope we have that date night, but if not, there’s plenty of amazing opportunities for us to watch the sky this month!

9. Get a new job – I had an interview! It went well! I didn’t get the job, but I made it far into the process and got some interview practice out of it. I press on, applying to jobs until something sticks!

10. Do a handstand – I am genuinely proud of myself for how this is going. I think I’m at the point where I can get up all the way, or pretty close, but then I psych myself out before I can hold my legs up right. I want to film myself at the gym to better track my abilities, but I’m too shy!

11. Go see two of my favorite performers – I know this will not be happening, and I’m okay with it. I’m mentally creating a list of live performances I want to see next year, whether it’s Broadway, ballet, comedians, or musicians. More on this with my 2021 resolutions!

12. Lose weight – I am making progress here. I think. I hope.

13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – Mission accomplished! Now on to the anniversary this month.

14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter and granddaughter – I think I did a decent job this month with all of it! I called my grandmother, emailed my grandfather, and spent a weekend with my family. On top of that, I got my dad a great birthday gift. I had a friend visit for an hour earlier this month, and I’ve been present for my friends that don’t live near by as best as I can. That said, one of my best friends decided to leave Facebook and since I’m not much of a texter I haven’t spoken to her much. We send random things on Instagram to each other, but that isn’t the same as messaging her full on paragraphs of daily anecdotes. Being on Facebook isn’t good for her mental health, so I really should just pull my own weight and make the effort to text her.

15. Be happy – I had a rough start to this month. I was feeling really down and in the dumps. This month I’ve felt a little bit better, but not by much. I want to be better and feel better, and I know that has to come from within in order for it to be real! I think I need to make this a bigger priority in the upcoming month.

Some victories, some failures. I think that’s just life! I do think that working on that last one on a more personal level will give me a more positive outlook on my goals and handle my losses better. I am so grateful for the life that I have, and I need to remember all of my little blessings on the bad days. Especially on the bad days. Game on.

michaelscottendofgame
Taken from Pinterest. “Dunder Mifflin Infinity, Part 2.” The Office . NBC. 4 October 2007.

Monthly Resolution Wrap Up – August

August. Not my finest month.

If anything, I’m celebrating that I think this was my worst month. What a relief! I got my worst month done, and now the rest of the year can be great! Right? Right?! I’m right.

1. Read 52 books – I finished two books this month, and I’m working on two more right now! If I finish them by this weekend I’ll feature all four in a monthly reads post.

2. Do pull ups – I am excited that this resolution is slowly getting there. I’m feeling my muscles getting stronger and more capable each day. I’m steadily pushing and I think I’m going to make it by the end of the year. I really do!

3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING – I don’t think I tracked this a lot this month. I feel like it wasn’t overly bad, but I wouldn’t give myself a gold star? I should really start paying attention to my device metrics to see how much time is spent each week on certain apps (Instagram seems to be the biggest time suck. I also spend inordinate amounts of time on TikTok but allegedly that’s getting banned in the United States by the end of this month? I’m not going to blame Baby Yoda, all I’m saying is that 2020 started going south right around the time “The Mandalorian” ended).

4. Write 104 Blog Posts – Nailed it. Crushed it. Gonna keep crushing it. <- I wrote this last month. Still applies! Yahoo! <- I wrote this last month, too! Still applies! Double yahoo!

5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021 – A distressing development: my mother cancelled our vacation for the end of the year. Very sad. BUT. She rebooked a beach resort vacation in the same timeframe! I will still be “of the sea” with Aaron to begin 2021. My 2021 New Years Resolution is going to include a new iteration of this resolution where he and I go all out for our two year anniversary. Hopefully by then this pandemic will be over and we’ll be back to a normal, no-fines-for-leaving-the-state society.

6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – I think I did okay this month? I genuinely can’t remember. I know I did better than I did in July. I know I watched a few schadenfreude videos/read a few Twitter threads, but that’s it. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being better.

7. Take better care of my skin – I went to a dermatologist! I got a prescription! I still have hormonal acne on my jaw and cheek and a few bad boys on my back and I’m hoping it’ll go away in a month otherwise I’m gonna lose my marbles!

8. Go stargazing – I have yet to seriously go stargazing. Aaron doesn’t like bugs but doesn’t want me to go to a dark place at night by myself. However, twice in the past week I’ve gone on a walk early in the morning while the stars are still out and it’s just… sometimes the sky feels like I’m in a dream. I’m not saying I got this done (I told Aaron I want a date night stargazing, and now that it’s September it better start cooling down and getting less buggy it better happen), but I have taken a moment (give or take twenty minutes) to just be in awe of nature.

9. Get a new job – I have kamikaze’d my way through job applications this month. Just full on Han Solo charge, knock out ten in one day, throwing my name out and seeing what happens. Do I have a new job? No. But I have new job prospects and I remain optimistic.

10. Do a handstand – Last month I said I was doing L-handstands against the wall. I have LEFT THE WALL. I have been practicing just kicking up on my own and almost every day I get further up, and further into a better stance! Some mornings I have left the gym feeling like air punching the world because I’m so proud of myself. That’s pretty neat.

11. Go see two of my favorite performers – This is still not going to happen and I’m very very bummed. I don’t think I’m an entitled fan, but if my favorites don’t look back at 2020 and think “I owe it to the people who suffered to give them what they want: live performances at relatively decent prices,” then they should reconsider. I’m just joking! OR AM I?!

12. Lose weight – WOW. What a dumpster fire of a month for this. I felt super sad about it. I FEEL super sad about it. I’m tired of feeling this way. I’m letting myself down and that’s so not Raven. I can do better. I AM better. Oof. No.

13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – Mission accomplished! I wonder if I should keep mentioning this one, since it happened and I can’t go back and redo it or improve on it. Meh. It’s a part of the list and it will stay on the list.

14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter and granddaughter – I hung out??? With a friend??? Yes! I did! I saw a friend in person for the first time since lockdown this month. It was just for an hour, sitting on my porch and catching up on life. It felt so good to see a friend that I might? Do it again? Another friend wanted to go to this one restaurant where they make insane milkshakes with me when I felt safe to associate with other humans. Now’s as good a time as ever!
See, you look at sentences like that and then item 12 and you gotta think “Wow, the disconnect.” I know I do.
Aaron and I have been going on walks and bike rides together. I’m so grateful to have him as my husband and my partner through the dumpster fire that is 2020. I went home earlier this month and spent time with my family, but I feel like I’ve been on a different wavelength than them since. I also haven’t spoken to my grandparents in a month. I wanted to go visit with them, since I technically could be in the same house with them/quarantine for two weeks as the law requires, but that would still be too risky. I was so ready to go be with them and yet I didn’t call or email once. What is wrong with me?

15. Be happy – It’s weird. I thought this month was my lowest month of the year, but looking at my resolutions, this was a relatively solid month. I think that the family thing, the weight loss, and the job situation all just made me feel so low that I look at the month (maybe as an extension of myself) as a failure. I can’t tell if me being hard on myself is a good thing or a bad thing. Am I disappointed, because I know I can do better? Am I setting myself up for failure by having unrealistic expectations? Either way, the sad feelings don’t really invigorate me to try harder, so maybe just being sad about it is just a waste of time (gee, this sounds familiar).

I feel good about September. These will not be famous last words!

I love you three thousand.

Mallory’s Monthly Reads – June/July

Okay! I went in with the intention of reading seven books this month, so I would have eight to discuss today!

I got through three and a half. SO. I’ll be adding a few more “monthly” reads throughout the rest of the year in hopes of catching up with my 52 books in a year goal.

Of the four books I read, three were GREAT. One was just okay. I think those “just okay” books are what slogs me down in my goal. If I’m not enthusiastic about what I’m reading, then I won’t want to read it. The whole point of this goal is to get more pleasure out of reading and if I’m just not interested in this particular story, why would I take the time to read it?

It goes back to my resolve last month to only read books that grab me in the first two days. I’ll be putting this into practice this month! Until then, let’s dive in to my summer reads:

1. A New Model: What Confidence, Beauty, and Power Really Look Like by Ashley Graham and Rebecca Paley. This is Ashley Graham’s memoir (rather, her life thus far). This book was published in 2017, so it hadn’t covered the past three years of work (including a podcast and a Vogue cover with her husband while pregnant with their first child), but it included her childhood in the mid-west, her journey in the fashion industry, and her philosophy/work ethic. She is one of the first prominent plus-size models in the fashion industry (though I think she’s fed up with the phrase “plus-size”), and is an advocate for more women outside the high fashion standard joining the runway. She talks in the book about struggling early with her sense of self, and becoming a party girl in the early years of her career after moving to New York. She quickly grounded herself (she talks of having a strong relationship with her mother) and established herself as a must-have in the community. She is now represented by IMG Models, one of the biggest agencies in the world!

Here are a few lines/reflections from the book that I loved:

“My mother, assistant, glam squad, and anyone else I spend a lot of time with have to talk positively about themselves, because if they don’t, I check them quickly. (My manager, my agent, my assistant, my publicist, and my book publisher are all curvy women: does that make me biased? Or does that just mean we are really the majority?)”

“You are good enough to make whatever you want to achieve possible. You just need to find your talent and passion—then put a heck of a lot of work into it.”

“Beauty doesn’t last, but how you [make] people feel will.”

2. Born Round: A Story of Family, Food and a Ferocious Appetite by Frank Bruni. This was ANOTHER memoir, one of a writer from a large but loving Italian family. Frank Bruni struggled with his weight as a kid, and fluctuated back and forth between strong and slender from swimming to large and in charge from too much takeout. I certainly felt a kinship with him to a degree. Sometimes your body image takes over how you live your life. I’ve made choices based on how I feel about how I look, how I’ll feel when presented with an opportunity involving food, and denying myself stupid things out of fear of my love of food taking over for me. It’s not a great feeling! That said, I think that he struggled a bit more romantically based on his body image (he would put off dates because he didn’t like his body and didn’t want to risk looking fat on a date!). I’ll also add that dating probably wasn’t SUPER easy when you’re gay and it’s the nineties/early oughts. His reporting got him on Air Force One in the Bush administration, and later took him to Italy as a correspondent! Having just gone to Italy last year, reading this part of his book made me nostalgic. To boot, he wound up as the food critic for the New York Times! A food addict’s dream… and nightmare. That said, apparently it was during this time that he kept the most consistency in his body image journey. It gives me hope!

I found myself saying “Wow, relatable” during quite a few parts of this book, but here’s a few highlights:

“She’d spot another set of stickers on another car and read them aloud, too: “Harvard, Oberlin . . . Fairfield Community College.” She’d pause before the last school, which she’d mention in a lower, sad voice. “Ouch,” she’d add. “Somebody didn’t come through.” I continued to swim so that I’d come through.”

“There are some things you enjoy doing, and there are other things you enjoy having done. And that second kind of enjoyment lasts longer.”

“Vanity’s an erratic ruler, governing some things so ruthlessly that others escape its scrutiny altogether.”

3. Queen’s Peril by E.K. Johnston. That’s right guys, it’s another Star Wars book! In May, I read Queen’s Shadow, which described Padme’s transition from Queen to Senator. Queen’s Peril is the story of Padme’s first few months as Queen of Naboo. Not only do you find out about her own decisions and ideas to be a good queen, you hear about her handmaidens and how they all become friends, and learn to impersonate Padme when the time calls for it. The book serves as both a prequel and is in media res (I hope I used that right… where’s my ninth grade English teacher when I need her?) with The Phantom Menace. As a result, there were a few moments when I thought to myself “Oop! They said the thing!” or “Oop! That’s the thing from the movie!” and “Oop! That’s Anakin!” The final moments of the book are the last scene of A New Hope from Leia’s perspective, and it was so satisfying. Between the strong female friendships and the solid writing, I sort of want this book to be adapted into a movie. Everyone says (rightly) that Millie Bobbie Brown looks like a young Natalie Portman, and I think she’d be an amazing Padme. We shall see. I don’t have any quotes from this one, because it was an audio book. I have just discovered the “clip” tool on Audible, and I think that’s sort of like the “highlight” feature on my Kindle. Time will tell. I like “reading” while I get my steps. It’s a great way to start my morning!

4. The Ride of a Lifetime: Lessons Learned from 15 Years as CEO of the Walt Disney Company by Robert “Bob” Iger. Bob Iger is the current CEO of the Walt Disney Company. He intended to step down earlier this year, but is currently running to keep things afloat in the COVID-19 world we live in now. He has served as President, COO, and CEO of the Walt Disney Company, and ran ABC Television and ABC prior to these roles. In his time leading the company, Disney bought Pixar, Marvel, Lucasfilm, and 21st Century Fox. Bob was also instrumental in the building of Disney Shanghai, which exceeded expectations in its first year. One of the things that stood out to me was that during his presidency, over the course of roughly 24 hours, Bob had to respond to the Pulse Nightclub shooting (after discovering that Pulse was the second target, since the shooter initially went to Disney Springs but was frightened by security), open the new park in Shanghai, and be hands-on in the death of a toddler at the Grand Floridian Resort. That’s a tough day at the office. Nonetheless, Bob carried out Disney business with empathy, an open mind, and an eye on the horizon. His time wasn’t without flaws, but he has been known for his kindness among employees and colleagues. I definitely got that from the book. The end of his book included a full appendix of takeaways for the average person looking to be successful (the eponymous “lessons”). That’s a real sport right there. If you weren’t paying attention while you read (it happens, even to me… but not with this book), he made a Cliff’s Notes! I’m eager, as a Disney fan, to see how he stays involved post-pandemic (if he wants to participate still, that is. He could be excited to retire completely!), and how his successor, Bob Chapek, handles the Disney legacy.

I took a LOT of notes in this one! I won’t list them all, but here are the big ones that stuck out the most:

“Sometimes, even though you’re “in charge,” you need to be aware that in the moment you might have nothing to add, and so you don’t wade in. You trust your people to do their jobs and focus your energies on some other pressing issue.”

“Simply put, people are not motivated or energized by pessimists.”

“Fear of failure destroys creativity.”

“Empathy is a prerequisite to the sound management of creativity, and respect is critical.”

“Managing your own time and respecting others’ time is one of the most vital things to do as a manager.”

“Nothing is a sure thing, but you need at the very least to be willing to take big risks. You can’t have big wins without them.”

“No matter who we become or what we accomplish, we still feel that we’re essentially the kid we were at some simpler time long ago… wherever you are along the path, you’re the same person you’ve always been.”

 

Okay, there were a lot more for this book, but I wanted to save some to reflect on in a separate way. As someone who loves her company, and someone who loves Disney, I admire some of the ways that Bob approaches his leadership. He touched on how ambition can be counterproductive, how you can get so caught up in wanting more at your job that you start to do your actual job less. He had this to say:

“It’s important to know how to find the balance—do the job you have well; be patient; look for opportunities to pitch in and expand and grow; and make yourself one of the people, through attitude and energy and focus, that your bosses feel they have to turn to when an opportunity arises. Conversely, if you’re a boss, these are the people to nurture—not the ones who are clamoring for promotions and complaining about not being utilized enough but the ones who are proving themselves to be indispensable day in and day out.”

I think that I’m indispensable at my job. I work hard, I go the extra mile, and my tenacity makes for quick problem solving. I have a one-on-one meeting with my supervisor this week. I might use that as an opportunity to go over how I feel about work, and how he sees me as an employee. I don’t think he’d have anything negative to say about me, but if there’s more that I can and should be doing, I better do it!

Lastly, I briefly mentioned this in my last post, but Bob had this to say about goal-setting:

“Priorities are the few things that you’re going to spend a lot of time and a lot of capital on. Not only do you undermine their significance by having too many, but nobody is going to remember them all.”

That stuck with me, too! I want to be better about not overwhelming myself with things to do, and then either doing them at a 2% level or not at all. I bet that setting myself up for success means focusing most on the things that matter.

It’s just a nicer way of Ron Swanson’s iconic line: “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”

Ron Swanson and Bob Iger. Capitalist icons.

Now, I’m off to ride my bike, and then maybe listen to the half of the book I need to finish. Spoiler alert: it’s another Star Wars book.

 

 

 

July Resolution Review!

We have three days left in this month! I can’t believe I’m more than halfway through the year. Time flies when you’re… in quarantine for five months. Golly. July was a decent month for my resolution goals. It kicked a few of the others in the butt, but I’m feeling strong about the rest!

Let’s take a looky loo:

1. Read 52 books – It’s down to the wire, but I think I’m going to pull it off. See you August 31st for the summer book haul!

2. Do pull ups – I am slowly getting better! I’ve been working on my pull-up strength at the gym roughly twice a week, with baby goals to mark the way. I’m gonna hit this month’s baby goal! It’s exciting!

3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING – I feel like I did slightly better this month! Taking Twitter off of my phone has helped immensely, and I’ve been cognizant of putting my phone down when other people are talking. That said, Aaron’s mom did chastise me a little bit for being on my phone so much at one point during her visit, so I clearly have a long way to go!

4. Write 104 Blog Posts – Nailed it. Crushed it. Gonna keep crushing it. <- I wrote this last month. Still applies! Yahoo!

5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021 – My friend Christine said she would watch the cats if Aaron’s family doesn’t visit us for long this holiday season. I’m so excited.

6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – This one just… RAVAGED me. I mentioned last month that there’s crazy internet things happening right now, and I have more than indulged a little bit, I’ve gone down full rabbit holes. Just last night, I wasn’t feeling well, but rather than go to bed early, I played on my phone and watched some gossip videos (okay, I still went to bed early, but I could have gone to bed earlier). As much as I want a more final conclusion, I don’t think I’m going to get one. In August, I’m going to stay away from it.

7. Take better care of my skin – In the past two weeks, my skin has gone from good to mediocre. I’ve honestly felt fed up with it. My skin care is expensive, and I’ve been taking decent care to apply it. My scars are still prominent, and I’m still experiencing breakouts on my chest and back!

8. Go stargazing – I want to see the stars tonight. It’s two different meteor showers tonight! I might wake up early and go to a field to enjoy them.

9. Get a new job – Emotionally broken down because of this one. I’ve been applying to jobs, but I feel like I hit a breaking point yesterday. I want something new, and I’m ready to move forward with something more suited to what I like doing!

10. Do a handstand – I genuinely think I’m going to pull this off by the end of the year. I’ve been working on pushing off the wall at the gym, and at some points it feels like I’m going to stay up, even for a second. It’s totally mind over matter, but like the pull-ups, I’m making tiny goals for each month. I accomplished this month’s tiny goal, so now I need to see about what my next tiny goal should be for August. I can hold an L stand just fine, but does that mean I now balance with only my knee? Hold it more with just the edge of my sneaker? Research is needed!

11. Go see two of my favorite performers – Big L on this one. I take pride knowing this isn’t my fault, but I really want some live music. Today I was thinking about how much I would hate, but still want to try, going to Coachella. I’d be hot and insecure about my body the whole time, from the looks of it everyone who goes is on drugs, and the team behind Coachella has a shady history. In 2021, assuming the world returns to normal, I’m hoping all my favorite artists and stand up comedians have new material for me to enjoy in person!

12. Lose weight – I’m slowly getting there. I mathematically won’t hit my goal weight by Dec. 31st without making potentially life-threatening decisions, but I’m still shooting to an adjacent goal.

13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – Um… see previous post. I did it!

14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter and granddaughter – I spoke with friends on Skype, I spoke a handful of times with my mom, and I’ve spoken to my grandparents three times this month. My sister came to stay with us for July 4th Weekend and she loved it! I’m planning another trip home with her and my mom for next weekend, so I’m optimistic about August, too. I think I’ve been doing a great job with Aaron too, between a good birthday and just general support and love and attention.

15. Be happy – I think July was a good month, but while Aaron’s parents were here, I thought a lot about what I want for my future, physically, mentally and emotionally. It kind of hurt my heart to think about things in the negative that way. That said, the rest of the month was light, fun, and I felt relaxed, if not happy!

I’ll talk a little bit more about this in an upcoming post, but one of the books I read this month taught me something about the importance of priorities. If you have too many priorities, you have none. That in mind, I want to make getting a new job, speaking to my grandparents, and losing weight my top priorities for the rest of the year. Of course I won’t ignore my other resolutions/goals, but I want to keep those three at the forefront of my mind for the rest of the year. Let’s see how that translates into my next resolution posts!

Storytime Sunday: Aaron’s Birthday!

Wednesday, July 22 was Aaron’s 26th birthday. As I’ve said a handful of times, one of my new year’s resolutions for 2020 was to make sure Aaron had a great birthday.

Folks: Mission accomplished!

His parents are in town to celebrate his birthday, driving down from Vermont where there is only a limited amount of COVID-19 cases. With them, they brought a few presents for Aaron to enjoy! They stopped off in St. Augustine to visit the distillery and pick up a few of his favorite spirits (my idea, of course). In the days leading up to his birthday, his mom cooked him his favorite meals… and bought us bikes! We own bikes now! I can tell he’s really excited to go on bike rides together. We both had to work this week, but his parents went on searches to buy us the right accessories. We’re hoping to go to our original neighborhood to enjoy their bike trails!

I took the day off of work to enjoy the day with Aaron. His parents treated us to fresh banana bread for breakfast while Aaron opened his parents’ gifts. They included fresh spices, coffee from New Orleans, and spicy snacks, among other treats. They got a box of New Orleans beignet mix for me to make on Saturday, too!

Aaron and I decided to go to EPCOT that day to enjoy the Food and Wine Festival. There has been a LOT of hullabaloo and discourse about the Disney parks being open right now, but we threw caution to the wind! We’ve been in isolation during quarantine, and it was a special occasion. For all the anger over the parks reopening, Disney is really doing a great job of keeping both guests and employees safe. They are only at 50% capacity, employees are wearing masks and face shields, and the lines are spaced out to have each party six feet apart. As well, there are plastic walls separating the employees and the guests and enforcing guests to only take off their masks when eating or drinking.

We went on a rainy weekday. There were no crowds whatsoever. It was wonderful! When we first got to the park, we headed right for the Mexico booth, where Aaron got a mango margarita and a pork tostada. I stopped at the booth across from his that had plant-based foods, where I got an Impossible Burger slider with a wasabi cream sauce. I didn’t try Aaron’s tostada, but I had some of his margarita! It was very tasty. After that, we went on the 3 Caballeros ride, where we had a car to ourselves and sat front row. Something about the spacing made the ride perfectly in sync, and we didn’t hear the effects looping the whole time. Apparently one of the characters broke yesterday, so his animatronic was missing during the end sequence, but it was still fun! Aaron hadn’t noticed that part of the ride features a group of Mexican villagers hitting a Donald Duck pinata, and it was sweet to see his excitement at seeing something for the first time.

After the 3 Caballeros ride, we went to the Norway pavilion to ride the Frozen Ever After ride. It was the longest wait we had the entire day… roughly thirty minutes, max. Again, front row of the car, with no awkward loops! The music always makes me cry, I just love “Frozen” so much. We then went through the China pavilion, where I treated Aaron to a beef bao bun and I got an order of chicken dumplings! I was bummed that they didn’t have any boba tea like they usually do during their special festivals, but I get the desire to minimize unnecessary resources. After that, it started to rain, so we quickly moved on through to Africa, where Aaron and I marveled at some of the cute merchandise. We considered splitting something in Italy, but decided to stop there on our next visit, if there is one! Aaron grabbed a quick coffee in the America pavilion, while I went to Japan to get sushi in a flowerpot! It was served in a decorative cup, with salmon and salmon roe piled onto a tall bed of rice. Aaron then got us some hot sake. It was my first time trying sake, and I’m not a big drinker, but Aaron thought it’d be fun to try it hot on a rainy day! It felt warm in my tummy but I hated the taste. I think the next time I try sake it’ll be in Japan.. the REAL Japan!

We bought Aaron’s mom some fans in the big Japan store, and then moved on to Morocco, where Aaron got spicy hummus fries. That’s always a favorite for him! From there, we went to France, where we intended to watch “Impresiones de France,” which is a twenty-minute film about the beauty of France. It’s a highlight for me on every EPCOT visit… but they’ve sort of replaced it! They only show the film at night now, and during the day the film is a “Beauty and the Beast” singalong. The film retcons the original plot, with Lefou (Gaston’s lackey) feeling fed up with Gaston’s bullying, getting Belle and the Beast together. It was cute and I thoroughly enjoyed it and with Josh Gad killing it as Lefou in the live-action movie, I would be totally interested in seeing an extended version of that retcon. I think it was Disney’s first bit of 2D animation in years!

Aaron then got a goat cheese tart at the France booth before we “crossed the English channel” into the London pavilion. While there, I saw one of the Youtube personalities we follow! His name is Tim and I’ve seen him once before in town, because he regularly films in the Disney area. I didn’t say hi because I didn’t want to be annoying, but it was neat to see him in action (and see his video posted inside the park the next day)!

We went into the Festival showcase to enjoy a few of the other booths. Typically, they jam-pack six booths into the entrance of the World Showcase, but I’m assuming they moved those six booths into a private convention space within the park to make it safe for guests. Aaron and I split a fancy plate of mac and cheese, and I stopped for a treat at the… drumroll please… dessert and champagne booth! I got a glass of Veuve Cliquot rose and a liquid nitro M&M cake pop. It was delicious! I think both the cake pop and the mac n cheese were our food highlights of the trip.

Before heading home, we stopped off at “Living with the Land,” where you get to see all the exciting research Disney scientists are completing about agriculture and how to farm more responsibly. It’s such a great concept, and I’d love to see some of their methods prominently featured in the factory farming that makes omnivore life so depressing! On our way off we stopped in “The Seas with Nemo and Friends.” It’s a “Finding Nemo” themed ride that empties out in EPCOT’s large aquarium (it’s even bigger than the EPCOT ball)! We watched the manatee rescues they keep onsite. I love manatees! They might be my favorite animal. I love manatees, dogs, and penguins. I’m twelve years old, you see.

Once we got home, I was feeling a bit dehydrated, so I took a pre-birthday dinner nap. His parents had been up the night before, preparing Aaron’s birthday dinner: chicken poppyseed casserole and chocolate marshmallow pie! You serve baked chicken cooked with crackers and cream of chicken soup (topped with poppyseed), with a side of rice, green beans, and warm bread. We only have it once a year on his birthday, and it is delicious! Between the casserole and the pie, Aaron opened the rest of his gifts, from my family and myself. My family got him an iced coffee maker, an iced coffee tumbler, and my mom got him multiple bags of coffee from Kookaburra cafe, an Australian cafe we love in St. Augustine!

I got Aaron a few nice treats. From me, he got a compilation book of Critical Role (a DnD based podcast he loves) fan art. I also got him a series of field notebooks with designs from the National Parks Service, including Acadia National Park, where he used to go camping as a kid! I also got him a bottle of spicy chicken sauce designed by Keith Hapsberger, a Youtube personality we watch together (ten out of ten recommend his “Eat the Menu” series).

The real coup de grace: two volumes of “Star Wars” concept art from principal artist Ralph McQuarrie. It was the first present from me he opened, and his parents had to get him to stop reading to focus on the other gifts he had! He kept turning the page and talking about each design he saw. It warmed my lil’ heart.

We each had a slice of chocolate marshmallow pie (it’s what it sounds like: melt chocolate bars with marshmallows, fill into a graham cracker pie crust, top with whipped cream), and split a gingerbread s’mores that his parents got at a chocolate cafe they visited while we were in EPCOT that day.

After pie, Aaron and I went upstairs. He showed me some art from his Critical Role book, and I followed some of the artists I liked on Instagram between reading one of my books. I went to sleep while he ended his birthday playing his new video game!

 

  • So, let’s recap:
  • A day at Disney
  • Great food
  • Youtuber spot!
  • Birthday dinner
  • Chocolate pie
  • Awesome gifts

I think he had a pretty great birthday. Especially considering that we were in an unprecedented pandemic with the world in shutdown mode! I hope he felt all the love that I could give that day. Now… what to get him for our anniversary? Christmas is five months away, too! Until then, I’m so happy I got this resolution accomplished. He deserves all of the birthday magic, and more.

 

 

 

July Goal-Setting!

This month, I’m trying something new. I want to set goals for the entire month to help me progress on my personal goals for the entire year. I have six months to get things done, and I want them all done.

I know that some odds are stacked against me: it looks like we’re headed towards another shutdown, which will put going to the gym on hold (which won’t stop my workouts, but will hinder my pull-up goal), and will lead to further job freezing (which will lead to my top priority of getting a new job on hold). I really hope that after all of this, 2021 is a year of prosperity for the world. I hope people go to more restaurants, spend time with their families, and do the dang thing, because life just isn’t that long.

I won’t let the coronavirus (or “Miss ‘Rona” as people who cope with the unending certainty of life with humor have termed it) stop me dead in my tracks. I will keep biking, even if the concrete beneath me turns into hummus.

Here are my six goals for July:

  1. Read all the books I didn’t read last month this month, and four more. I want to do an eight book, “Summer reading” wrap up post at the end of the month.
  2. Stick to my current weight loss plan. I’ve been at it for a few weeks, and I FEEL like it’s working. I want to come back at the end of the month and say “I’ve kept going.” If it’s not as effective at the end of this month, I’ll switch, but I don’t want to switch until then. I often get jaded and quit. Quitters never win, and winners never quit… but those who don’t win and don’t quit are stupid.
  3. Clean out my closet. It will make me happy to finally go through my clothes and see what fits and what doesn’t. It’s going to be a brutal job, but I’ll put together a “capsule wardrobe” of essentials I will keep even if they don’t fit just so I don’t have NOTHING to wear as my progress continues. I’m thinking that will be twelve mix-and-match items. I know I have a drawer of pants that don’t fit anymore, and quite frankly, I think the fact that I can’t shut my drawer is more aggravating than the fact that it’s filled with pants that are too tight.
  4. Call my grandmother twice, call my grandfather once, and email my grandfather once. My communication with them should be so much better than it currently is.
  5. Hold an L-hold on both legs for forty-five seconds (for my handstand resolution), and dead-hang for fifteen seconds (for my pull-up resolution).
  6. Facetime chat with my three “friend groups.” I have a lot of great friends in my life, and for all that Zoom has been having its day with family chats during lockdown, because I’m so used to long-distance friendships, I’ve barely hopped on camera to say hi to my friends! I think this month I can change that.

I’m eager to come back July 31st with these results. I’m committing: Check in post on July 31st on these goals SPECIFICALLY. Go-go-gadget goal setting!

 

Mid-2020: A Resolution Round Up

We are officially at the halfway point of 2020. When we kicked off the roaring twenties, I didn’t think we’d see a worldwide pandemic, massive wildfires, a watershed moment in the BLM movement, nor as of this past week, a YouTube reckoning culminating in Dramageddon 3. Don’t even get me started on that whole mess.

The things I set out to do seem so meager in the wake of all of this, but I think all I can do is just keep plugging away and doing the next right thing.

I’m going to go over the progress I’ve made this month, and then assess how I want things to change or move forward in the six months to come. I have an idea or two churning in my brain, but there are other things that I need to work through in this space.

Strap on your swimsuits, kids, because we’re gonna dive in now!

1. Read 52 books – I have made it through one and a half books this month. I am unimpressed with myself.

2. Do pull ups – I have made it back to the gym! My gym is open and I can start practicing again… and as predicted, I am back at square one. Drat. I am bummed but will get back to it.

3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING – I feel like I may have made a dent in this! I didn’t bring my phone with me EVERYWHERE this month, and I ended up deleting Twitter from my phone. Just in the past month I feel like it brought me more exhaustion than joy. I still have a ways to go, but I feel so much better this month.

4. Write 104 Blog Posts – Nailed it. Crushed it. Gonna keep crushing it.

5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021 – Great news! Even if our cruise gets cancelled because of COVID, my mom says she will reallocate that money into a different vacation for us to take as a family somewhere in Florida. We’ll social distance and wear masks and order room service if we need to, but no matter what, Aaron and I will have a great beach week to end the year. And boy golly, we will have earned it.

6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – This was an interesting month for internet schadenfreude. I checked in on one of the influencers I made a point to not monitor this year and I was happy to see she was living mostly quietly and not engaging in self-sabotage. I didn’t re-follow her accounts, but I did check in on her. I don’t know if the aforementioned Dramageddon 3 counts as internet schadenfreude, because I don’t know how much joy I find in the betrayal, anger, jealousy, and potentially criminal behavior. If it counts, I know I will indulge in this as a hopefully full-circle moment. If things ESCALATE, I hope that all the internet gossip (again, I don’t like thinking of criminal behavior as “tea” or “scandalous” when criminals should be in jail) just comes out at once and we can start to rebuild. I genuinely think this past week and the upcoming month will be another watershed moment of sorts, only within the YouTube community. I think some parts of the community will break down entirely and have to start to rebuild.

7. Take better care of my skin – I got a sunburn this weekend. I was a full on lobster. And yet, I feel like my acne scarring isn’t as prominent. Progress!

8. Go stargazing – Our curfew has been lifted as of this month! According to this article, there will be three astronomical events this month. I want to see at least one!

9. Get a new job – I felt super fatigued at work this month. I still have my current job and I don’t know if I’m going to get this one finished this year, no matter how ready I feel to move on to the next big thing. A pandemic isn’t the best time to not have a job, or look for a new one.

10. Do a handstand – Back at the gym means back at the wall! I’ve started to move forward with this resolution. I’ve been doing L-stands at the gym to get my sense of balance and the feeling of my whole weight in my palms and shoulders.

11. Go see two of my favorite performers – On the plus side, Hamilton is streaming, with the original cast, on Friday July 3rd. So at least I will finally get to see it. That said, between performing artists and an apparent Broadway blackout until the end of the year, I will not get this resolution completed. I am disappointed, but not beating myself up about it.

12. Lose weight – Progress is being made. That’s all I’ll say.

13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – As of now, we have plans to go to Disney on Aaron’s birthday! I’ve bought one present for him already, and I know my mom and sister have, too. I told his parents a good gift idea. His parents are coming to town to cook him his birthday dinner. I’m already excited for him.

14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter and granddaughter – I had a good month with my friends this month, save for a facetime chat that all my friends forgot about until three days after our planned chat date. Aaron and I are stronger than ever. I love him so much. I had a great time with my sister and my mother this weekend, and my dad and I caught up over the phone twice this month. I spoke to my grandfather on the phone two weeks ago briefly, but I didn’t speak to my grandmother. On top of that, I found out this past week that because of a spike in cases, I can no longer go to NY to see my grandparents in July. It hurts my heart. I need to talk to them more.

15. Be happy – This month had a lot of highs and lows. I felt very happy some days, and very drained on others. I want to feel less of the latter in the upcoming months.

Here are some thoughts I have about improving my progress on these resolutions:

  • If I don’t love a book two days in, I stop reading it and find something I’ll actually like reading.
  • Call my grandparents twice a month, email my grandfather once.
  • Assuming the world returns to normal, I will see four live shows next year, either standup, concerts, or Broadway/National Tours.
  • Focus on my arm/strength training to build up my ability to pull myself up and hold myself up in a handstand and a pull up.
  • Do the next right thing. I think that’s the 2020 mantra.

Six months down, six months to go!