We are in week 3 of the new decade, and everywhere I look, the promise and hope of my friends and loved ones have vanquished into disparity. I’ve seen this tweet shared more than once:
Not great, Bob! I myself have fudged on a few resolutions. But that’s okay! “The Office” had a great episode about New Year’s Resolutions (more sitcoms/TV series should have a New Years Resolution plotline. That’s a whole other story!) with this line: “It’s not about being perfect, it’s about trying.” To me, trying is the best way to succeed! It’s when you DON’T try that you fail.
Which leads me into my main thesis:
5 WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE
Don’t feel attacked by this list! Everyone, especially me, struggles with this at some point. If any of these apply to you, know I have a solution!
Lie to yourself. When you start letting yourself off the hook at the slightest inconvenience, phoning it in instead of giving your all, and you need a grappling hook to climb that mountain of excuses, you slowly begin that descent into “Meh.” There will always be tough days– you’re sick, you’re exhausted, there’s traffic that throws off your whole schedule. Plan for that to happen, and let “life” be the only thing standing in the way.
Set unrealistic expectations. If your goal is to lose weight, with the plan being to skip meals like it’s a crack on the sidewalk until you’re a size two, you are in for a painful ride. Here’s the good news: that ride is temporary, because you will snap and eat an entire pack of Oreos and be back at square one, filled with regret and shame. If you want to achieve your goals, you can! But start small. Getting back to the weight loss goal: say no to dessert every other night. Go to the gym once a week. Baby steps will get you running marathons!
Procrastinating. This feels like a no-brainer! When you put off completing a task until later, “later” gets further and further away until you’ve put yourself in crunch time. And hey, there’s a difference between being lazy and “thriving under a deadline.” I’m all for the theatre of the latter, but always remember the end of my first point: life will happen. Computers die. Office birthday cake gets served. If you put it off once, you will put it off again… and again… and again!
“Kim Possible.” Disney.
Running on an empty tank. It feels good to succeed and make progress! You’ll want to feed that feeling as much as possible. That’s great, but proceed with caution! Taking time to breathe is just as important as the work you accomplish. You can enjoy a day off, a Netflix binge, or a monthly happy hour with your friends. Cabin fever murders aside, all work and no play DOES make Jack a dull boy. You can certainly stop and smell the roses on the journey! Maybe you’ll even want to plant a few yourself. Take a moment, a day, to express gratitude towards yourself. Breathe in, breathe out, then keep going.
Giving up too early. The only failure is failing to try. If you attempt to complete your tough goals but quit after two days, you’ve wasted your time and energy for literally nothing. What you are doing isn’t supposed to be comfortable! You should be challenged by your resolutions/tasks. Settle outside your comfort zone and do the work. Remember why you’re here. Motivation will come and go, but that doesn’t mean your goals should be just as flimsy. Work hard, and stick with it! The results WILL come.
There you have it! Five ways to set out on a short, fruitless journey towards fulfilling your dreams. To make it past these issues, I have but one suggestion: try. I believe in you! You can do it!
One of my New Year’s Resolutions for this year is to take better care of my skin. I have a well established skin routine for both the daytime and nighttime! My problem is consistency, washing daily and treating regularly (some nights I just take off my makeup, without properly washing my face; I try to exfoliate and put on a face mask twice a week but don’t do so enough). That said, this year I’ve been keeping up with washing twice a day and my skin has broken out a bit and feels slightly greasy (too much washing CAN lead to an overproduction of oils) so maybe I only need to wash once a day? Or taper off once a day, twice a day? Trial and error until we hit perfection!
Here are the products currently in my daily routine:
Daily Face Wash: Trader Joe’s Spa Face wash with tea tree oil. It says to use twice daily, with warm water, for one minute. I don’t scrub for one minute each time, but I do tend to use warm water! Toner: Mario Badescu Facial Spray with Aloe Herbs and Rosewater. Just a quick spritz to the face! It feels clean, and smells pretty! Serum: Andalou Naturals Turmeric + C Enlighten Serum. My goal is to be fresh faced and glowing, like the girls I see who live on Hawaii who spend ninety percent of their day at the beach or in a jungle NEAR the beach. The Vitamin C in this serum is what makes my skin get brighter. I have noticed a difference; when I don’t use it for a few days my skin looks a bit dull. Eye Cream(s): During the day, I use Kiehl’s Powerful-Strength Line-Reducing Eye-Brightening Concentrate. At night, I use Olay Deep Hydrating Eye Gel. Moisturizer/Sunscreen: Tarteguard 30 SPF Sunscreen Lotion. I keep hearing about the importance of sunscreen, how moisturizer and sunscreen should be put on before you ever leave the house, even if it’s cloudy outside. This is the base before I start on my make-up every day!
I still haven’t fully set on a facial scrub; I was using Neutrogena’s daily scrub, and then when that ran out I switched to one that was cruelty free but smells bad. Since then, I’ve started using a kumquat and olive oil scrub that feels great and smells beautiful. I hope that I can replace it when I run out, but if not, I’ll have to find another.
I tend to go back and forth with the facial masks I use. There’s a bulk order of sheet masks you can get from Amazon, and Sephora makes great face masks, too. I also like YesTo charcoal masks! It really depends on the night. If it’s a weekend or a day that I work from home, I’ll apply the mask in the morning! They work best when I’m shower fresh, when my pores are open and the bathroom is still warm/wet from the shower mist.
That’s my regular routine! I’m hoping to add facials into my routine twice a month (but will settle for once a month– they’re expensive!), and with that, EVENTUALLY get microdermabrasion to get rid of my bigger acne scars. All in good time! For now, it’s just good products, less dairy, and when all else fails, Sephora color corrector.
It is December 28, 2019. In four days, we’ll be in a new year, and a new decade. There’s so much to reflect upon, so much to consider from the past year, past ten years, but all I can think about is how awful I feel.
I’ve had chest pains all week. My stomach has been feeling nauseous for the entire day, and I’ve had a headache for three days.
Maybe it’s from all the holiday food. Maybe it’s from not drinking enough water. Maybe it’s because I’m approaching my “moon cycle.” All three?
No. I have a more likely idea.
I went to the gym and did the most hardcore workout I’ve done in a while yesterday. So imagine waking up with a stomach ache, a headache, and then rolling to the bathroom and realizing that your legs are like cemented to the ground out of soreness. That’s what I get for doing weighted squats for the first time in a year.
Not a great day, but just as well, because the new season of YOU came out on Netflix on Thursday, and I had to wait until last night to start it. Ten episodes later and I am so eager for season three, as eager as I was for season two earlier this year! I am blessed to have gotten two seasons in one year, but that probably means I will have to wait until this time next year to get another season. Who knows where I’ll be at that point.
In the past month and a half, I’ve been kind of in a funk. I think that’s why I haven’t written at all. I don’t know why I’ve got such a case of the blues. Christmas was fun, and being home with Aaron has been great, but I just feel kind of chaotic mentally. I’m hoping that January will be calmer and more fun.
That said, I’ve been listening to more podcasts lately, top of the list being “Him and Her: The Skinny Confidential Podcast.” Amy Landino, my success champion, was on a recent episode talking about time batching! I want to make writing more of a priority in the new year, and with that in mind, I’m going to make sure I set aside time each week to prep posts and generate ideas so I can share two posts a week.
Today has felt like an eternity. It’s a jolt of hope knowing that my brain can’t handle a day of doing nothing! I hope that tomorrow morning I wake up all better and go to the gym again. Except… maybe hold off on the weighted squats. Or at least do less of them. Fingers crossed!
I feel like I have two back-to-back happy entries in my pocket. I guess being married will do that to you.
That’s right folks, I’m a newlywed! Aaron and I tied the knot this past weekend in Vermont. Our magical start to Happily Ever After will get its own post later. I would rather write today about today. Today!
All good todays can be traced back to yesterday, so let’s start there.
I was scrolling through Facebook when I passed through the “Your Own Magic” Facebook group, which is a fan community for the “Your Own Magic” podcast. Someone had posted a request for guidance on making a vision board. Someone had replied to make it their “Home” screen on their phone, so they can always see it.
I had time to kill and I had been itching to make my own vision board, and I had always pictured it as a 3rd grade science project with the three angled-cardboard display covered in colorful words and glitter. Lots of glitter.
Putting it on my phone had always felt like a “magnet” option, where I had tossed it around but never considered it. Now that I had a desire to work on my Photoshop skills, I could see about creating one using phone dimensions.
So commenced about two hours of work. I knew what I wanted to see every time I looked at my phone, what I wanted to motivate me through my day. I want Miranda Priestly’s Boss Life (maybe without the workaholism, more like the authority, style, and respect), and Jack Donaghy’s office and job title (he later gives it to Kenneth as “President of Television.” Can that be my exact job title, please?). I want to make sure I always remember that with hard work (and, ahem, therefore maybe less mindless scrolling), I will have money, maybe even Jeffree Star money. With that money, I can travel and live in the NYC home of my dreams (I’m talking in-building gym, laundry service, and outdoor garden, with floor-to-ceiling windows and a showroom-style closet). With that money, I can go to London, Bali, Australia, and anywhere else I want to visit.
On top of fruitful dreams, I want to be healthy and strong, both emotionally and physically. I know if I accomplish all of this, I will be happy. If I’m happy, Aaron will be, too. Vice versa!
Boom. Visions for the future, established.
If I haven’t outright stated it, I love the sky in the morning, when it’s dark night giving way to light blue, with the brightness of the sun bringing in a bit of pink. That was a style inspiration, as was Taylor Swift’s 1989 album art.
Several hours later, my phone vision board:
Aaron says it looks like a Myspace background. If that’s a teasing insult I don’t care because I like it.
Creating that felt like an accomplishment! I rewarded myself with Youtube and went to bed with a smile on my face.
I want to take a different approach to my way of thinking. I’ve always dealt with things with a sense of urgency, and sometimes I feel my brain is moving at a million miles a minute. I think slowing down and taking things one step at a time would do wonders for my own sense of serenity.
This morning, I woke up at 7 AM and contemplated doing some sort of a workout. I ended up going for a twenty minute walk around my neighborhood. I don’t know what higher power decided to make that the best decision ever, but the sky was beautiful and there was a cool wind. I passed commuters starting their day, joggers on the run, and a few happy souls with their dogs on a stroll. I listened to happy music that put me in a good state of mind.
Work was quiet this morning so I took care of a few necessary phone calls, and then made myself a cup of vegan hot chocolate! I served it in one of my UVM mugs, because I’m already having Vermont withdrawals. It was low calorie and super sweet.
I’m thinking I’ll head over to the healthy food cafe for lunch in an hour or two to get an acai bowl or a hummus wrap. It depends on whether it’s cooled down or warmed up since I went outside this morning!
I had a very happy morning. My brain feels at peace. I want to snuggle the world.
I’ll be back for a full wedding recap. Until then, here’s the tune that set my morning mood.
It’s a week before the wedding, and it’s time to start packing the suitcase! That said, the weather in Vermont is about, on average, thirty degrees lower than Florida. So packing the suitcase means I need to buy new clothes to fill it!
Aaron was eager to go shopping for new clothes, and listed off a few places for us to go to for warmer items (and various haberdashery). He wanted to go to Aldo, Ray Bans, J. Crew, and H&M. He was even okay with going to Forever 21, since they recently announced bankruptcy (and I was hoping for an “EVERYTHING MUST GO” sale like what happened with Charlotte Russe).
And then, it happened. Aaron insisted we go to “Abercrombie.”
My immediate reaction:
I don’t think I had ever impersonated a turtle faster. I downright refused.
For those unfamiliar with the “Abercrombie” retailer, it’s a clothing store that specializes in gorgeous clothes for almost exclusively beautiful people. Former models in Abercrombie campaigns include Kellan Lutz, Jamie Dornan, and yes, Taylor Swift.
In middle school, the cool girls all had the Abercrombie zip-up sweatshirts, polos, and jeans. I was not a cool girl. I went inside their sister store, Hollister, once, and was given the cold shoulder. I knew I could barely fit into their largest shirts, and so did the employees. I was given looks in Abercrombie too, but I never bothered to buy anything. I stood quietly as my friends and family got smiles and pleasantries, and then went into the food court to eat too many Lotus Garden egg rolls.
Abercrombie and Fitch forever represented all my body insecurities. There was no way in hell that I was going in there.
This morning I woke up and checked Twitter and saw that today was the best day of the year: Treat. Yo. Self.
A phenomenon created by “Parks and Recreation,” Treat Yo Self is a day in which you indulge in some of the finest luxuries.
I decided to start my day off with a bagel, and actually buy clothes without worrying too much about a budget. I mean, I have student debt, so that’d be a no on a pair of $300 Gucci shades, but a mini-shopping spree at H&M could be in the cards.
Aaron and I made our way to the mall. By some twist of fate, we parked in the parking lot near the biggest department store… right next to Abercrombie.
Aaron and I walked into Abercrombie, and I went in to be supportive. Instead, he nudged me towards some sweaters.
To their credit, they were cute. I decided to indulge him to prove that I couldn’t fit into their clothes. I grabbed shirts and sweaters and headed for the dressing rooms. An employee who probably weighed ninety pounds walked through me. When I asked for a dressing room she avoided eye contact but did her job.
The energy was there. It hurt, and reminded me why I never wanted to come into that store, or any of the stores like it.
I then started trying on clothes, and I’m not sure if it was the lighting, the music (Ed Sheeran), or me, but it was the first time in a while that I felt truly confident in my clothes. I had to get new sizes for a few items, too. Even one sweater needed to be a small!
Me. Forever a size 14. Needed a small sweater in the ultimate skinny girl store.
What dimension was this?
I had two more encounters with salesgirls, and both of them couldn’t have been nicer. I kind of like the narrative that proves that Abercrombie prefers the size zeros of the world, but for all I know, the dressing room salesgirl was having a bad day. I’ve worked retail. I work tech support now. Helping people sucks sometimes, and holding a smile and being nice to everyone just isn’t possible on days like that.
I spent quite a pretty penny at Abercrombie today, and then got new jeans at H&M, and a tee shirt at Forever 21 (a good white tee shirt is always a must). I am READY for this weekend in Vermont.
We had gotten an early dinner at the food court in the mall; I had gotten a gyro and Aaron got Chipotle, which for some reason completely drained him of energy. He collapsed into bed not long after we got home.
I took the opportunity to enjoy the last bit of my Dairy Free Ben and Jerry’s (chocolate fudge brownie) and the latest season of “Insatiable”. People have taken a lot of shots at “Insatiable,” but I think it’s the dark horse of streaming TV. It’s also the first time I’ve felt like my own issues with body image have been put into words (other shows have tackled the subject well, but I feel like “Insatiable” has been the closest narrative to depict MY personal experience. It’s been helpful).
Between my bagel, my gyro, my ice cream, and my show, I kind of came to an idea for my own eating habits: eat healthy every chance I get, and pick the plant-based option whenever possible. That said, ice cream once a week won’t kill me. Neither will a bagel with cream cheese one day, and one meal where I can enjoy anything I want: pizza, a burger, or yes, a vegan calzone (they exist, and they can be amazing). Food isn’t something I can just quit, nor do I want to think of food as something I can’t enjoy. That said, I think modern American (or even just internet) culture has fetishized food, and “eating” shouldn’t be a personality trait for me. I realize now that I do talk about food a lot. I obsess over it! I think it’s time for a new obsession.
Good clothes. Good food. A little me time. An epiphany, even. I’m getting married in six days, but this totally joins in the running for “The Best Day of the Year.”
I believe my last post was two weeks ago. That said, what if I told you that I wasn’t NOT writing, but in reality, working on a long overdue, always wanted, but never took the time to complete, project?
I give you, the mind baby of years and the birthed child below: the Glam Girl manifesto.
I am not the only one who has looked at these magazines advertising workout, beauty, and health tips from the toppest of the top Models and thought “Oh shoot, I should try that.” You do that enough over the years, and some things are new (the power of loose powder), some things are familiar (Prep H can do more than treat the obvious and the equally obvious), and some things are so gloriously overstated that you think they’d sink in by now (you’ll know it when you see it).
I made special priority to focus in on my current #WomenCrushWednesdays: Gisele Bundchen, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Candace Swanepoel. How perfect is it that today is Wednesday?
There’s also a few random cameos from other fabulous icons of the runway and the red carpet, and a section of general ideas from various nutritionists, dieticians, and makeup artists to the legends. To that, I owe credit entirely to byrdie.com, wherein I fell down so many rabbit holes that I’m surprised I didn’t wind up in a Mad Tea Party. It’s still going, by the way, I saved some more articles to browse at my leisure later. A “journalist’s” work is never done.
That said, I did eliminate SOME excess. I don’t think I included any specific products because there were some obvious product sponsorships (the aforementioned ladies are all current and former Victoria’s Secret models, so was I surprised to see that they all promoted VS fragrances? Not that they shouldn’t, it’s literally their job and “Bombshell” is bomb).
All right punks, let’s do this.
Gisele Bundchen
Who is she? Brazilian, mostly retired supermodel, who has since become an accomplished author and environmentalist advocating for saving the world for the future generations. If sports mean anything to you, she’s also married to current and longtime GOAT, Tom Brady. He cute, I won’t lie. She, however, was nicknamed “The Body,” and was featured in Vogue’s editorial “Return of the Curve.” Victoria’s Secret Angel, obviously.
Makeup – Less is more. Natural all the way! When doing a smokey eye, use beige or gold eyeliner in the inner corner to prevent eyes from looking too far apart. Blush only on the apples of the cheek and nose (NOT BELOW CHEEKBONES).
Skincare – Cleanser and chemical peels. She advocates a HEALTHY DIET, with a good balance of fats, protein, and W A T E R . Moisturize to keep from skin deterioration and premature aging.
Hair – She doesn’t brush her hair much, to keep those sexy waves. She uses detangling hair conditioner to keep things unruly.
Adriana Lima
Who is she? THE Victoria’s Secret Angel, if you ask me. During her final walk in the 2018 show, her fellow models jokingly but not jokingly lowered their heads in reverency, one mumbling, “bow to the queen.” Present in more than a handful of Super Bowl commercials and probably even more fantasies than the VS Fantasy Bra, she has piercing blue eyes and a megawatt smile.
Makeup – Good red lip and LOTS of mascara. Products that can be both blush and lipstain are ideal! Another fan of “less is more,” she’ll go barefaced with lotion and shimmer powder/bronzer. Pro tip: Moisten eyeliner pencil to get a more precise line.
Skincare – Soak skin in pads dipped in ice cold coconut water
Hair – Avocado mask and flaxseed oil, once a week
Diet – Portion Control, Blackberries, blueberries, and steamed veggies.
Exercise – Jump Rope
Alessandra Ambrosio
Who Is She? I know we’re mad at Victoria’s Secret right now, okay? I KNOW. Their sizes don’t accommodate the average American woman, and their head of marketing could use a healthy dose of reality (or at the very least, a look at what is considered sexy these days). But just for one glimmering moment, I want the focus to not be on the politics, but rather on the girls who make the VS show so iconic. The TRUE Angels. Alessandra has been along for the ride since the dawn of Gisele and Adriana. Equally Brazilian, and equally beautiful, iffen you ask me (but no one did. Why are you here again?)
Makeup – Natural, with minimal color on cheeks and lips (lip balm with nude liner, or a two in one blush/lip product). Bronzer for a sun-kissed look, playful eyes on special occasions!
Skincare – Exfoliating Mask, toner, hydrating cream, vitamin C serum
Pro Tip – Sleep! Lots of it!
Candace Swanepoel
Who is She? VS Angel, but she’s different! She’s not Brazilian, she’s… South African.
Makeup – Cheek and Lip Stain (I’m noticing double-up products are a pattern!). Laura Mercier Eye Brow Pencil
Skincare – Body scrub of coconut oil, sugar, and coffee.
Hair – Coconut and Argan oil.
Diet – Beauty smoothie: coconut oil, flaxseed oil, banana, protein, some kind of antioxidant fruit like blueberries or strawberries or some nut butter. Avoids meat, prefers vegetarian
Destress – Yoga and meditation
Travel Tip – Brazil nuts and almonds (good for hair and nails), protein bars, and fruit are better than whatever the terminal food court has to offer.
Again, these were my MAIN homeskillets. Now let’s check out some other pro-tips from other models, past and present, and a brief few who can only be described as iCONic.
Lindsay Ellingson – Yoga! Inversions (where your legs are above your body and the weight lies on your arms) draws more blood to the face, creating a more flushed glow. Gabrielle Union – Drinks a gallon of water a day. Homegirl has not aged since “Bring It On,” so I believe it. Miranda Kerr – Uses a spoon instead of an eyelash curler. Aloe vera for your skin! Eats fresh berries, kale, cucumber, baby spinach and celery (possibly this was the contents of one juice. I didn’t write that down clearly. That’s on me). Kourtney Kardashian – Water water water! Sunscreen is a must. Tinted foundation is a never. Jaime King – Use your fingers when applying concealer. Adria Arjona – Use aloe on scars. Coffee, sugar and honey makes for a great monthly scrub. Lais Ribiero – Take your makeup off before bed and de-puff under eyes with cucumber mask 1x a week Julie Ann Luna – Use face masks RIGHT after a hot steamy shower to lock in moisture Rosie Huntington Whitley – Facial massages! Click HERE for how to do this right. Emily Ratajkowski – Use lipstick as blush.
Now it’s time for the specialist pro tip, or what I’m calling “A Smarter Person Would Have Written their Names Down but Once Again these are the Unsung Heroes who make the Genetically Gifted Hobos into Hotties and What They Say about Being Healthy.”
Makeup Tips
Loose powder — Finisher, dry shampoo, in between mascara coats
Lip balm — Use it as a highlighter, eye shadow softener, or a cream blush
Facial mist — Softens harsh lines or cakey texture
Bronzer — Sweep on both cheeks AND eyes for stronger but subtler glow
Clear Wax Brow Pencil — GREAT lip liner
Diet Ginger Tea – Grate a chunk of ginger into hot water, add honey and lime to taste.
Good foods – Tropical fruits like pineapple and papaya. Lean meats like poultry and high-fat fish. Veggies. Simple starches like rice, potatoes, and yams. Cucumber. Put it in water, eat it raw. CU. CUM. BER. Bad foods – Dairy, Alcohol, Packaged foods that suggest low fat/sugar. It’s a TRAP. Gluten and baked goods like bagels, muffins, and pastries should be avoided too. Ditto cereal, yogurt, chips, crackers, and soda. Just don’t have fun ever. You idiot.
Prepare to be shocked – Water.
Protein bars – Despite earlier advice, protein bars aren’t real.
It’s 50/50 sugar and fat. If you’re going to eat one, pick one that markets it honestly.
Additional Healthy Pro Tips
60 minutes of cardio 6 days a week will get you ready and raring to go.
Epsom Salt Bath – Pour 12 pounds of Epsom salt into a hot bath, then soak for twenty minutes. Wash off in cold water. Wake up without water weight. If you say so, sport.
Preparation H the night before on the back of your legs tightens skin
Biggest protein meal should be dinner, not breakfast/lunch.
While compiling this information, I also decided to give myself personal goals and mini-ideas on how to manifest these tips.
Lazy non productive days – no screens. Reading and writing and creativity. Eat what I want, but self care and no makeup is the priority (inspired by Emily Ratajkowski and Nina Dobrev).
Yoga in the mornings and the evenings, ten minutes each (inspired by Lindsay Ellingson).
Twelve days before the wedding: No dairy, bread, or alcohol. Avoid late night starches, too!
Go on a fitness quest — find classes nearby that I like. And I like:
Boxing
Tennis
Dance (I’d love to do ballet, hip hop… maybe even a bit of pole dancing and heels! Those always look so cool)
Rock Climbing
Cycling
Along with that, I want to try Pilates!
So what did we learn today?
Lean protein and veggies are your best friend. Dairy is your nemesis.
Dual action cheek and blush are your friends, too! But also, less is more. I met ya halfway there.
Oh, and also… don’t forget: WATER.
Like I said, I’ve been down this rabbit hole for a few weeks, so I can say that a face mask post shower feels glorious. I can also say that putting blush down your nose is a scam and you just look sunburned. I am unskilled but still learning.
There you have it! A brief, but mostly scam-free, resource on how to be as beautiful as runway models and Hollywood starlets. And in the end, isn’t that more important than accomplishing financial success and personal happiness?
When I was sixteen years old, I took an environmental science class to test out of a science requirement, after I scraped by in biology freshman year and had to retake chemistry sophomore year. While in that class, we discussed sustainability, and a part of that conversation meant watching a documentary called “Food, Inc.” where they go in depth into what your food is made of and what it’s like in factory farming.
Not to get too graphic, but they literally kill baby chicks to make chicken nuggets. As in, throw them into grinders while they’re still alive. I was horrified and disgusted and didn’t want to eat meat for a while.
That summer, I went to Spain on a group trip and was left to my own devices to feed myself for about a month. I avoided beef and poultry and stuck mostly to pasta and fruit during the day, treating myself to hake (a type of fish) and tuna pizza when I felt like it. At the end of the summer, we all went to dinner where I had some cheese wrapped in ham.
Have you ever had food poisoning on a transcontinental flight? I have. Just thinking about it makes me dry heave. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I had pork. Pig meat was the easiest for me to say farewell to, between my semi-Kosher upbringing and the movie “Moana.”
THAT IS THE FACE OF BACON. YOU WANNA EAT THAT LIL’ ANGEL? Aaron indulged my love for this little wonder and got me a stuffed plushy of Pua that I just sat cuddling with and I thought to myself: why eat these little sweethearts when you can snuggle with them?
I got food poisoning again about three years later when I ate a meatball pizza in my dining hall. Beef and I got beef!
I had gotten the pizza as a treat for myself for getting into the study abroad program I wanted in England. The following semester I walked through London to get to class on time, and it was awesome! I was living on a shoestring budget during that time. I often thought to myself, “If you only spend a minimal amount of money on food, you can use the extra money to go on another weekend trip!” I fed myself on around $20 a week, eating mostly bananas and pasta. I’d go to Pizza Express every once in a while but on one such trip, I had a hot fudge sundae and spent the following evening in pain. When I could finally move, I grabbed a pen and scribbled: “NOTE TO SELF. YOU ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD AND STOP NOW.” My trips to Pizza Express mostly ceased after that, and I started to prefer burrito bowls from Chipotle over takeaway from… everywhere else!
I lost a lot of weight that semester, and when I got back to the US, I decided to give that vegan thing a try. I’d fallen down multiple rabbit holes on Youtube about the vegan lifestyle, and I decided to see if it was right for me. For about a year, I ate fruits, vegetables, and plant based alternatives to the foods I loved. There were plenty of hits (ALMOND. MILK.) and plenty of misses (Daiya cheddar shreds. After a while I just couldn’t take it), but I learned a lot about cooking and what I liked to eat!
These days, I’m not vegan. I still have my animal/environmentally friendly preferences (like cruelty-free makeup and requesting only “pleather” products), but I also will enjoy most fish, poultry, dairy, and occasionally eggs. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I had pork, but I know I’ve had beef at some point in the past year. I just genuinely can’t remember when it was.
From an ethical standpoint I feel guilty a lot of the time. Heck, I feel guilty just writing out that I’m not vegan! I don’t like assigning labels, but come on. Everyone knows where our food comes from at this point, and factory farming is really hazardous to the environment. Not only that, but the dairy industry is really mean to cows.
From a health standpoint, my dairy tolerance is still minimal. I can do a pint of Halo Top, but a four cheese pizza is just a death sentence. I blame my return to cheese and regular eating of fish to a lack of discipline (of course sushi tastes good, but gosh, at what cost)?
I think the human population should try to eat one vegan meal a day (I accomplished this three times this week so far!). I think just that one move of having a smoothie for breakfast or a big bowl of spaghetti and tomato sauce for dinner would make a world of a difference. I am living proof that not everyone wants to eat plant based 100% of the time, but I think that seven meals a week would make for a healthier, happier planet.
Here are a few of my favorite Vegan options:
Gardein products. Their Orange “Chicken” and Meat(less) Crumbles are a staple to my diet. The Meat(less) Crumbles are great as a protein source for a plate of pasta or to bulk up some tacos!
Mac and “Cheeze”. If you come in thinking you’re going to have that Velveeta golden goodness, you will be confused. “Cheeze” bases can be made of a variety of things, but personally, I love a good cashew sauce. I’ve used a butternut squash base before, too, and that sauce is good enough as a thick soup! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
Pesto. I know what you’re thinking: “Doesn’t pesto contain Parmesan cheese?” It certainly does, unless you make it yourself! Just a bit of garlic, pine nuts, avocado, basil and olive oil. Here’s the plot twist: NUTRITIONAL. YEAST. I will sing the praises of “Nooch” until the cows come home. Add a bit of that instead of Parmesan and you are made in the shade. Heck, I’ve even made pesto without nutritional yeast and didn’t even notice a difference.
Bananas. They’re a controversial fruit, but they’re my absolute favorite. Eat them as is, or freeze them to use as a thickener in a smoothie! I like making a nice ice cream bowl with two bananas, some cocoa powder, a splash of almond milk, and some peanut butter. The calorie count can get pretty high, but this one’s more about the ethical implications. Plus, with the nutrients in the bananas, milk and nut butter? You can TOTALLY have ice cream for dinner!
Vegan Harvest frozen pizza from “American Flatbread.” “American Flatbread” hails from Vermont, and I’ve been to their location in Burlington a handful of times. It made my heart skip a beat when I found their vegan pizza in the frozen section of Whole Foods. If you haven’t figured it out, I take my cheese very seriously, and I take my vegan substitutes for cheese even more seriously. THIS is the pizza for you. PS: If you live in the Burlington area now and want another vegan pizza to try, Leonardo’s Vegan Salvation is the best vegan pizza I’ve ever had in my life.
Eggplant bacon.
I can hear you doing this to your computer!
But trust me on this one. It’s like a cleaner, prettier version of what bacon already is. I haven’t made this at home yet, but a vegan restaurant in Burlington called Pingala makes a great batch. HIGHLY recommend trying eggplant bacon if you ever have the chance.
Dairy Free Chocolate Salted Fudge Truffle ice cream from Haagen Dasz. This has kicked Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food out of the position of my favorite ice cream flavor. A GAME changer kids, though no love is lost between me and the dairy free flavors Ben and Jerry’s provides. They walked so Haagen Dasz could run. Halo Top does make a few vegan flavors, but I’m thinking it’s high time they add more. Fingers crossed their next one is Vegan Red Velvet!
Honestly, I could continue this list for another seven items, but I think I’ll save that for another post. My point is that eating plant based options can be fun, and certainly can be tasty! One bite really can make a difference. I recommend giving “one vegan meal a day” a try, if you can! Depending on what you choose, it isn’t as pricey as it seems. If all else fails, Oreos are vegan.
This post makes me want to try harder with my own vegan lifestyle. I think maybe I’ll make vegan mac n cheeze for dinner this weekend!
It’s a new month! I’m in for a busy end-of-summer. We’re moving to a new place, I have wedding appointments, and even tonight, I have to pack for a girls’ beach weekend! That said, it’s a great time for me to set some goals. I don’t mean goals in the sense of “Clean out my closet” (though I did that this weekend!) and “Go on a walk every day”. Those are great objectives, but in this context, I’m thinking more in the abstract.
Long-time woman-crush-Wednesday Alexis Ren shared some questions to ask yourself when setting intentions. They’re a good thing to reflect on every week to keep you motivated! I’d like to share those questions (and my responses) here:
What do I need today/this week/this month?
I need water and more sleep. I would like a healthier mindset (I’ve been engaging in a lot of negative self-talk lately)!
What do I want to manifest more of?
Kindness and serenity, both towards others and myself!
What do I need to do to continue my progress? Be empathetic, sympathetic, disengage from toxic environments.
What am I grateful for? I have a great family! I have wonderful friends! I have an amazing boyfriend who I love. I have access to clean water, a full fridge, and I take a car that I lease to a job I like. I am grateful for the privileges afforded to me in the Western world (“Kim, there’s people that are dying.”).
What do I need to/want to see more of in my life? I need to see more sleep and less sloth! I need stronger discipline so my time is managed better. Even now it’s 9:40 and I still have to pack my overnight bag! I should have done this earlier. It will get done, and that’s great, but it would be great if I could have been in my room by 9 and in bed by 10. I’ve been able to do that more lately, but I’d rather it be a full-on habit at this point!
What brings me joy/peace/serenity/etc? I experience joy when I get to be with Aaron. I feel peace at sunrise and night skies. Listening to music to end and begin my day impacts how I go about my routine!
What do I need to do to get closer to my goal? I think it helps to set realistic expectations. I can’t do five things after work, but I can do two or three. With better time management, I will get more done and get more Zzz’s. Discipline! Efficiency! Yes!
What is my body telling me? You are low energy and deserve more for your soul. Get better sleep. Have more fruit. Give yourself hugs and give other people smiles. It will go a long way for your own happiness!
What can I remind myself of today/this week? I am beautiful. I am safe. I am loved. I am grateful.
How will I feel if I implement more ___ in my life?
If I implement more time management tactics in my life, I will feel more confident in my capabilities and better rested. I work out plenty, my physical self is doing pretty well, to the point that it’s a well-oiled machine (even if the oil is occasionally just, you know, olive oil excess left in the wrapping paper of bread sticks). My mental self deserves her day!
What needs to change at this moment/time in my life? I’m relatively messy and post-work, I’m not very productive. I should work on maximizing my time up until 8 PM during the week. At 8PM I can turn on a show, browse the internet, and start unwinding, but I should try to accomplish some tasks (like read or doing the dishes) after dinner.
What do I need to prioritize?
My mental health! I need to rest easy in my mind. I will have a healthier mindset if I lay my head down to sleep knowing I can put my name on the previous day as a fine day’s work. If I can do that by 9:30, so much the better!
This was a great practice! I now have some decent ideas for this month:
Be in my bedroom by 9, in bed by 9:45 Sunday-Thursday. I can stay up a bit later Friday and Saturday, but on “work” nights, I turn in early!
Each day, accomplish two tasks, whether it’s cleaning, learning, or flexing a mental muscle through creative methods (reading and/or writing).
Social media curfew! No more browsing after 9 PM. I can turn on music while I get ready for bed, but at 8:59 the playlist is curated and the apps are closed. Sweet dreams for me!
I think just those steps will make a world of a difference. Next up: execution! Go!
I’ve wanted to write this week almost every day, but each day it was motivated by a negative emotion! I don’t want to be just overwhelmed by dark energy.
With that, I think I want a social media detox.
This past week has been almost too much for me emotionally. A nasty law has me questioning my own autonomy, my favorite platform is overrun by exposure of imperfections and inappropriate behavior, and an Instagram model is just crushing my self esteem right now.
I think if I hopped off Twitter, Instagram, and Reddit for a while, my brain might begin to connect with myself again. I’m wondering if maybe my inability to define my brand, the look I want to bring to the world, stems from an inability to find what *I* like. I feel like I’m so concerned with how other people are living their lives and what other people are doing that I’m not paying attention to what *I* want. Instead, I’m focusing on how other people are living the life that I want… being beautiful and living by the ocean. I WANNA LIVE IN BATHING SUITS AND DO SUNRISE YOGA ON THE BEACH EVERY DAY. How does that work?
I feel like I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want to see that stuff anymore, but I think I should be aware that it exists. It’s almost a cycle of nonsense. I should be cognizant of the manipulation of truth, inflated egos, and political issues that impact others, even if it doesn’t directly impact me.
People keep in touch with me on Facebook, so I want to just keep Messenger open, and jury’s still out on Pinterest. I love finding recipes on Pinterest, and fashion inspiration, but I have a lot of weight loss topics in my thread regularly, varying from different workouts (helpful) to yoga girls with abs in sports bras (hurtful).
Again: pretending that fit, healthy women don’t exist feels very “ignorance is bliss.” At the same time, not constantly having it shoved in my face may help my self-esteem.
I think I want to go three months without it. I think it may also help me be more productive, since I tend to get lost in my social media accounts without noticing time passing by, only to then be running late because I’ve been staring at my phone.
Writing that out actually solidified it for me. Productivity wins. I just removed Instagram, Reddit, Pinterest, and Twitter from my phone. Youtube is staying, only because I tend to find new music in my “Recommendeds,” but I admit that most of my addiction comes from Youtube sending me down rabbit holes. I think if I turn on enough of the right kind of video, I can re-calibrate what Youtube THINKS I want to see and I can get a fresh start that ONLY has music, meditations, Alan Watts lectures, and… I don’t know, ASMR videos? I do kind of like those.
It’s a Tide Ad. No, it’s Zoe Kravitz in a 2019 Super Bowl ad for Michelob. Fun fact, ASMR is quite lovely but finding a non-uncomfortable GIF of it is a challenge.
I’m hoping that not being as distracted by social media will help me read more, listen to more podcasts, and become a better listener in general. I get the sense that Aaron gets peeved when I “scroll” when he wants to talk to me, and I in turn get peeved when he wants to talk to me when I’m trying to focus on what I’m looking at on my phone. This will eliminate the problem, right?
IN ADDITION: I find that nine times out of ten, I can’t watch a show straight on. More often than not, I need to be doing something else on social media while I watch something. Maybe not having that extra stimulation will help me focus on what shows actually hold my interest, maybe even what foods hold my interest!
I think this will be good in the long haul. I wonder how long I can actually last! I don’t want to leave social media forever by any means, I kind of just want to wait out whatever’s happening, and stop being so consumed by it. Cold Turkey feels the way to go. Deleting the apps feels almost safe.
Only good feelings from here, folks! Toxic stimulation begone. Mallory’s going to give the real world a try.
I feel like I’m going through a strange transition in my journey of self-love. I find myself engaging in more toxic habits, as in, binge eating without abandon. I’ve gained weight, and I’m really disappointed in myself. But with that, I’ve had photos taken of me in the past tow months, and each time I’ve looked at them, I’ve thought I looked good.
I scrutinize instantly, without thought, and sure, after a while, you find something to hate. But more often than not, my thought has been “oh, I look cute!” rather than “Diet starts tomorrow.” Two nights ago, Aaron and I went to a late night Disney event. Not wanting to do anything when we got home at 2 AM, I made the pre-emptive choice to go makeup-less to the event. I look pretty, in my opinion, in the photos from that night. Granted, that could’ve just been Disney working its trademark magic, but who is to say the magic couldn’t have also been me?
Self love is a weird journey to travel. You have such a delicate boundary between loving your body by giving it clean water, maintaining your hygiene, and feeding it greens, while simultaneously living vicariously and ordering dessert because life is too short. I’m such a “Have some chocolate every night to stay sane” kind of girl, and I stilll don’t know if that’s toxic behavior.
My mom, out of the kindness of her heart, bought me some pretty dresses to update my summer wardrobe. I was freaking out to try them on, but they all fit and flattered! Meanwhile, six hours ago, I was freaking out at my reflection about having a thick upper body (too big a chest, larger shoulders).
Raw footage of me in the bathroom looking at my shoulders this afternoon. But actually, “Neil Patrick Harris/Taylor Swift.” SNL, NBC. 10 January 2009.
I felt most comfortable in my skin when I was thinner, and I acknowledge that I need to make healthier choices when I eat. I also want to work out harder, I’ve been so sleepy when I get to the gym in the morning that I don’t push myself to the hardest I can go. I want to change that.
More than that: I feel like I’m so close to being unstoppable, but not being conventionally beautiful (read: meet society’s standards of beauty) keeps me from truly excelling. I agree that standards are changing, but I still feel like more likely than not successful women are fit and healthy. Michelle Obama comes to mind, as do the most accomplished ladies in my workplace. Not a hair out of place, full face of makeup, body by spin class (I say, having loved Soul Cycle but it’s not in my city yet? I DEMAND IT), that describes a lot if not all of the women I aspire to be, aesthetically.
At my most confident, imagine: strong, smart, compassionate, loyal, friendly, ambitious, talented, AND beautiful? That girl conquers the world. I feel like that is my destiny. I want that as my future. I want it as my present, but I’m ready to work towards it. Whose to say that by the time I get to “Mission Accomplished,” I’ve moved up a step or two in my career?
But with that, I have to go to sleep at a decent hour. It’s 9:50 (didn’t I JUST say I was going to stop being on the computer at 8 PM?), and it’s time to get in bed.
“Here Comes the Sun.” Gilmore Girls, The WB. 13 May 2003.
