Category: Movies

Mallory’s Monthly Reads – September

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Three books down this month! Two of this month’s reads were inspired by a desire to read some of Aaron’s favorite books. The third was a revisit of one of the greatest literature series of my teenage years. How does that grab ya?

  1. The Once and Future King by T.H. White. Aaron is a big fan of the fantasy/medieval genre. I remember when we first met, I asked him what his favorite book was and this was his near-immediate response! It’s an anachronistic telling on the legend of King Arthur. It’s technically five books in one, and it took me a while to completely finish! Truthfully, I didn’t fully learn the story of King Arthur as a kid. I know what you’re thinking: “Aren’t you a Disney fan? What about The Sword and the Stone?” Yes, I did watch that movie and own the VHS as a kid, but I barely remember it. In fact, it wasn’t until someone I follow on Twitter posted stills of the movie that fit within the context of the book that I started recalling parts of it. Thankfully, I have Disney Plus to re-watch the movie, now that I know the legend from beginning to end!
    I will say that the length of the story made it a little less enjoyable, but I enjoyed the characters and the silly references to then-modern situations (like cars, World War II, etc.). I also never thought I’d ever text anyone “Mordred is a lil’ bitch,” but I’m pretty sure I did that at least twice while reading. I didn’t take note of favorite quotes in this book, because Aaron’s copy is an original edition and if anything tarnished the book I think he’d never forgive me.
  2. Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer. In my younger years, as the story of a young wizard boy and the battle for good and evil came to a close, a new fantasy series was beginning to take fruition: Twilight. A romantic young adult series about a human teenage girl falling in love with a permanently teenaged, yet hundred year old, vampire boy. The novel spawned three sequels and iconic film adaptations, including this scene that is, without question, a cultural reset. Bella Swan, the protagonist, was played by then-mocked-now-adored Kristen Stewart, and we were all bidding for the heart of either Taylor Lautner, who played the second love interest Jacob Black, or Robert Pattinson, who played Edward Cullen, the quietly brooding vampire. While 2019 belonged to Timothee Chalamet, 2020 belongs to Robert Pattinson. He returned to the zeitgeist with the 2019 critically acclaimed The Lighthouse. Between starring in this year’s Nolan thriller Tenet and taking on the role of the Dark Knight in the upcoming Batman film, we all have our eyes back on Robert. How perfectly timed is it that Midnight Sun is released.
    Midnight Sun was in its early stages in 2008 when twelve chapters were leaked, and Stephenie Meyer decided to wait to finish it, leaving us “Twilighters” devastated. It was released on August 4. I downloaded it immediately. It was a trip.
    Midnight Sun returns us to Forks, Washington, to retell the story of Twilight from Edward’s perspective. It’s not the greatest book I’ve ever read, and parts of it were overdrawn out to a degree. I’m also no longer fifteen years old, “quivering” with love for a monster I just met. Some of the mooney-eyed talk of passion and how a girl so plain could be so beautiful had me rolling my eyes… but in the most good-natured way. I had fun reading it! And if they wanted to make a movie of it with Timothee Chalamet as Edward, I wouldn’t object! Let it happen! I’m not in charge!
    Two quotes I loved (one’s an overlap from the original, the other is just a good take on modern dating conventions):“You’re doing it again,” she murmured.
    “What?”
    “Dazzling me,” she admitted, meeting my eyes wearily.

    “How silly humans were, to let a six-inch height difference confound their happiness.”

  3. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Another favorite of Aaron’s! His sense of humor is prevalent in both books mentioned here, as well as what I remember from a Terry Pratchett novel I almost read five years ago (we’ll be circling back around to that in a minute). He calls it vaguely British, like Monty Python, and I’m tempted to agree. This book reminded me a bit of The Twilight Zone, with one big distinction: when the paradigm shift occurs, the protagonist just sort of rolls with the punches (in The Twilight Zone the protagonist often loses their mind and cannot accept this change). It was a quick and fun read, and I imagine I’ll read the other four books in the series some other time! A good-humored sci-fi adventure seemed par for the course, considering my penchant for Star Wars lately.
    The writing of this book is so patently amusing that I could have picked swarths of paragraphs that stuck out to me. That said, here’s a few gems:“I went to Cambridge University. I took a number of baths — and a degree in English.”

    “Mr. Prosser wanted to be at point D. Point D wasn’t anywhere in particular, it was just any convenient point a very long way from points A, B, and C. “

    “On Earth it is never possible to be farther than sixteen thousand miles from your birthplace, which really isn’t very far, so such signals are too minute to be noticed.”
    (I Googled this… it’s true!)

    “I repeat, all planet leave is canceled. I’ve just had an unhappy love affair, so I don’t see why anybody else should have a good time. Message ends.”
    (This has big Chris Traeger in “Operation Ann” energy)

I was also going to read “Pratchett’s Women,” a series of essays on the female characters in Terry Pratchett’s canon. Terry Pratchett is unquestionably Aaron’s favorite writer, having read almost, if not all, of his novels. However, I only got about one essay in when Aaron asked “Why are you reading this when you haven’t read any of his books?” A valid point. He provided several recommendations to get me started, and I’m eager to see how I like them!

Overall, a fun month of reading. However, I am more than halfway behind my reading goals. I have read 22 books this year, leaving me thirty to go. If I read ten books a month, I can pull it off. I don’t necessarily think it’s impossible, but considering how it takes me an entire month to read four books, I’m going to have to really focus! In October, I’ll be keeping to the theme of spooky and scary. I’ll explore the typical Halloween spooks (haunted houses, vampires, etc.), but I’ll also be reading a few true-crime novels, bringing in a dose of real-life horror: the American serial killer. Considering the fact that I play true-crime docs as background noise at work, I think this will be easier. My first dalliance: the Audible version of American Psycho. Ya like Huey Lewis and the News?

 

The Haunted Mansion: For Kids?

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Disney Plus has been a fun little addition to the world of streaming services. Though missing a few things from the archives, it’s still got most of, if not all, the old classics. Since logging on for the first time by myself (ie not watching a movie with Aaron), I’ve watched three of the live-action “family” movies that came out when I was around eight to ten years old: “Freaky Friday,” “Cheaper by the Dozen,” and “The Haunted Mansion.”

“Freaky Friday” holds up to my memory. The Chad Michael Murray plot is awkward considering the age difference between him and Jamie Lee Curtis’s character Tess, but still, it’s a Disney movie. There isn’t much there by way of “they put THIS in a kids movie?”

“Cheaper by the Dozen” is almost better now that I’m older and can see things through the eyes of a twenty something. Of the dozen Baker kids, I’m closest in age to the oldest daughter, as opposed to when it came out and I was closest to one of the middle daughter’s age. Also, pop punk. AND BABY JARED PADALECKI. He had a lil’ accent and everything.

Today, I turned on “The Haunted Mansion.” Inspired by the eponymous Disney ride, this movie scared the heck out of me when I was a kid. Now that I’m older… I’m still scratching my head at how some of this was put in a kids’ movie. High key violence and racism? Okay that’s a watered-down summary of “Us,” but I digress.

Here are a hundred thoughts I had while watching “The Haunted Mansion.”

1) The opening credits are on tarot cards, and they just showed two nudes in a tarot card. Like full frontal nudity. To quote Vine, RIP, “Is this allowed?”
2) I think I don’t remember what the origin story is here. I also think I do remember.
3) This movie freaked me out so much growing up, but I think that made me fascinated with it. I like being scared? More on that story as it develops.
4) And BOOM, violent death in a kids movie. A KIDS movie.
5) After being on the ride so many times, I love recognizing the music!
6) Cut to Eddie Murphy! He’s a real estate agent with his wife! That’s great!
7) “I don’t like this house.” “I want a divorce.” BIG yikes.
8) Oooop Eddie Murphy (Jim Evers) and his wife (Sarah Evers) are good at their jobs!
9) Okay now Jim’s at a tiki bar (maybe a nod to the tiki room) with two… REALLY white people who insist he stay for a drink. ON HIS ANNIVERSARY.
10) He comes home late. Sarah is upset. KIDS DON’T CARE WHO PAYS FOR THINGS THEY WANT THE ONE WHO’S THERE FOR THINGS. Oh gosh, here comes my CHILDHOOD.
11) We meet the kids: son Mike and daughter Megan.
12) Mike is too scared to kill a spider, Megan slaps it dead without a second thought.
13) Cut to Sarah receiving a mysterious call: THE MASTER WISHES YOU COME ALONE TO THE HOUSE? DOESN’T LIKE THE LOOK OF YOUR HUSBAND? That is two back-to-back red flags. It’s 2002 I think, right?
REGARDLESS. In this economy? What guy is like “Yes, pretty black woman. Come to my fancy house in the middle of nowhere by yourself.” Absolutely not.
14) Jim is very good at his job, clearly, they do well for themselves and have a nice car, but to the point that it’s affecting their family life.
15) The house only looks kind of like the house used for the Haunted Mansion ride.
16) OKAY THE GATES JUST OPENED UP AFTER BEING PADLOCKED? WHY IS IT THIS DARK AT 3PM.
17) It is a gorgeous house though, when you strip away the creepy. It looks like it has a greenhouse and everything.
18) Dad likes the car. Loves the car. Noted.
19) Massive cemetery. “Hey honey you know they have dead people in the backyard.” At some point you realize “You know what, this isn’t right. We’re going home.”
20) OOP Creepy guy lets them in the house. His name is Ramsley. Bad guy from “Get Smart.”
21) The house is owned by Edward Gracey (I thought it was Grady this whole time. That’s on me).
22) Edward Gracey is here, and this is AWKWARD.
23) All of this gives me the heeb-jeebs.
24) I’m SO uncomfortable. Imagine if Jordan Peele remade this. I know it’s a Disney movie but still.
25) Sarah’s looking at Edward like she likes him. The plot is vaguely coming back to me. I can’t remember if some part of her knows him or not, like “Dracula” or something.
26) It’s so cool to hear the Grim Grinning Ghosts theme in the score. It’s something else.
27) See if this were a NOT-Disney movie the whole family would have said “So this guy’s like low-key racist right?” Okay, if it weren’t a Disney movie, they wouldn’t have even entered the house.
28) Jim and Sarah have argued about work and Ramsley has separated the two.
29) Ramsley pours Jim a scotch. That’s gotta be a 200 year old Scotch. DANG. MONEY.
30) Ramsley says being a butler means attending to every detail and -LOOKS AT JIM- “knowing one’s place.” WOW.
31) Jim just seems like a nice guy.
32) Oop there’s a marble bust that looks like one of the ones from the ride! IT UNLOCKS A SECRET PASSAGEWAY and now Jim is locked inside the passageway WONDER WHO DID THAT.
33) The kids have discovered a music box that has SUMMONED AN ORB. a GHOST ORB.
34) Follow the ghost orb. Ghost orbs are nice, if I remember correctly.
35) Sarah is REALLY pretty and RAMSLEY KEEPS SNEAKING UP ON THE FAMILY.
36) Sarah is like “I can’t find my husband.” “Your husband’s in the library,” Ramsley lied.
37) Sarah walks in and EDWARD GRACEY IS SITTING IN THE CHAIR LOOKING CREEPY.
38) How can Gracey look totally creepy in one scene but totally charming seconds later. THE JOE GOLDBERG EFFECT.
39) WOW things you don’t pick up as a kid. Gracey says “Elizabeth,” and then it cuts to the kids following the orb. NICE. FIVE POINTS.
40) They have an old fashioned elevator. Like I would live in this house if it weren’t so spooky.
41) AAAAAY THE PORTRAITS THAT CHANGE!
42) AAAAAAAAAAY THE BUSTS THAT MOVE.
43) The house is breathing. It’s time to leave.
44) THE TELEPHONE. MADAME LEOTA.
45) Jim is startled by a crow. WHY is it always a crow?
46) The kids are in the attic now! They found the wedding dress… and a portrait THAT LOOKS LIKE THEIR MOM.
47) Suddenly WALLACE SHAWN APPEARS!!!!
48) Wallace Shawn is like “GET OUT OF HERE” and his scullery maid cohort is like “Do you guys want a cookie?”
49) The kids are hiding while the scullery maid and Wallace Shawn cover for them while Ramsley complains about the kids and Jim. “Nothing further shall interfere with the master’s plan.” Creepy.
50) THERE’S MADAME LEOTA. With that eerie Disney evil queen GREEN.
51) This scene makes more sense when you have been on the ride fifty times, but also the lore of the ride is different than in the movie. We’ve established through spooks that there’s a curse on the mansion.
52) Jim reunites with the kids, Wallace Shawn, and his maid friend. The kids know they’re ghosts. And there’s a curse. And they want to help!
53) So Elizabeth, the original Sarah, “killed herself” because she could never be with Gracey. IT’S RACISM.
54) Madame Leota says things aren’t as they seem, and they have to find the key to the curse in the crypt behind the house.
55) TWO REFERENCES TO THE RIDE: the kids want to know how to get out of the house and to the crypt. Wallace says “THERE’S ALWAYS MY WAY….” then BOOM they escape by carriage drawn by ghost horse.
56) Now all 999 ghosts are in the cemetery hanging out and doing ghost stuff. Including the hitchhiking ghosts! Neato!
57) Gracey is creepy but I would feel a lot less creeped if he were played by Matthew McFadyen. I guess they wanted to capture the energy of a dead man haunted by the ghosts of his past.
58) THE SINGING HEADSTONES. One of them LOOKS LIKE WALT DISNEY. YAY.
59) Megan, the daughter, marches towards the dangerous crypt. Mike’s ready to nope out of there.
60) How does Jim still have his suit on? In pristine condition? It’s been rained on, he’s gone through spooky pathways with cobwebs. At the very least he should’ve lost the jacket.
61) They keep referring to Leota as a gypsy. IDK if we can say that anymore.  Can we?
62) Megan has followed Jim into the crypt. Fearless.
63) Aw, Jim explains that he works hard so the kids can have everything he didn’t. Megan says “I didn’t know you had a bad childhood.” He says “I didn’t.” And she says “So why do we need to have everything you didn’t?” WOW. MEGAN. COMING IN HOT.
64) Now they have the key… and they’ve awakened the ghoul holding the key.
65) JIM DROPPED THE KEY.
66) Okay on the real though Megan kills spiders, knows latin and dives underwater in creepy crypt to get a key and then resurfaces to demons? Imagine being that cool.
67) And now they are trapped in the crypt… with spiders in front of the door. Mike has to face his fears to open the door.
68) MIKE OPENS THE DOOR WITH THE HELP OF AN EMOTIONAL PEP TALK FROM JIM ABOUT FEAR. GREAT. They’ve got the key.
69) Leota’s like “great job getting the key, go put it in the trunk.” THAT’S NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
70) Now everyone is in the attic, and they’ve found the spooky trunk.
71) Trunks are cool like they look spooky and they’re tough to carry but I would still travel with one if I had an assistant to carry my things.
72) THEY FOUND A LETTER. ELIZABETH WANTED TO RISK IT ALL AND MARRY EDWARD. SHE DIDN’T KILL HERSELF BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T BE TOGETHER. GRACEY WANTED TO RUN AWAY WITH HER AND RAMSLEY WAS LIKE NAH TIME TO POISON ELIZABETH INSTEAD MWAHAHAHA.
73) And now he wants to KILL SARAH THINKING IT’LL LIFT THE CURSE.
74) The kids have been locked in a trunk… and Ramsley has thrown Jim from the premises. Through glass. Onto the greenhouse, landing on the car. And shuts all the windows. Jim survives?
75) Gracey has shown Sarah the ballroom and is asking her about forgiveness… THIS IS SO WILD. I REMEMBER THIS SCENE. This was so creepy but I really liked it. The ghosts are dancing and Gracey is begging her to remember him, and Sarah runs away. He’s so sad, but confused, like “WHY DOESN’T SHE REMEMBER?” And of course Ramsley is like “She will don’t worry.” GAH.
76) Crazy that the car alarm is going off and and no one can hear it.
77) Jim is trying to break a window but it keeps repairing itself.
78) Ramsley is threatening to kill the kids if Sarah doesn’t marry Gracey.
79) “There are worse things than purgatory madam. I can assure you.” THAT was creepy.
80) AND THIS PART RIGHT HERE IS WHY I DIDN’T WANT TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE TO “HERE COMES THE BRIDE.” THIS OUT OF TUNE, MINOR ORGAN VERSION HAS BEEN FOREVER CEMENTED INTO MY BRAIN.
81) Gracey KNOWS something’s up because Sarah is crying and he’s like what is that about and Ramsley’s like “Oh it’s tears of joy.” MMM.
82) Jim is sitting against his car and Madame Leota literally rolls up like “Wtf are you doing. Get up and fight for your family.”
83) This is a nice line: “You try, you fail, you try, you fail. But the only time you really fail is when you stop trying.” “What do you want me to do?” “…Try again.”
84) Sarah’s wedding attire is really pretty I would wear that.
85) Update: Jim drove through the window with Madame Leota’s crystal ball riding shotgun. They make it into the house and crush the piano in the process.
86) Jim is fighting medieval knights. Why did we as a society have medieval knight armor as home decor for a minute.
87) SARAH’S ABOUT TO DRINK A POISONED CHALICE?!?!?
88) Jim barges in with the kids!
89) Oop Gracey is all “GET AWAY FROM MY WIFE.”
90) Gracey has a sword! BUT JIM HAS A LETTER FROM ELIZABETH SAYING SHE WOULD MARRY HIM. THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD. THE BETRAYAL IS REVEALED
91) “Your union was unacceptable.” RACIST.
92) I remember this part: Ramsley screams “DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL” AND THEN THE EVIL SPIRITS COME OUT TO PLAY.
93) And now the ground is disintegrating to make way for a… fire dragon? It’s not a Disney movie without a dragon.
94) Oh but the dragon swallowed Ramsley and is sinking back into hell… but Ramsley grabs Jim! THEN GRACEY SAVES JIM!
95) Ramsley’s disappeared into the abyss but Sarah’s passing out… she had one sip of the poisoned wine.
96) GHOST ORB TAKING OVER SARAH’S BODY… and now the gates of heaven are opening and Sarah’s… turned into Elizabeth!!
97) Elizabeth and Gracey kiss and the rest of the family is like “… okay I get it that’s not Sarah buuuut wrap it up”
98) Elizabeth’s spirit leaves Sarah’s body as Sarah regains consciousness.
99) Gracey thanks the family by leaving them the deed to the house, and he, Elizabeth, and the rest of the spirits float up to heaven.
100) With that, the family is off to the lake for the weekend… with Madame Leota in the back and the singing headstones strapped to the back window.

This was a fun hour and a half of my time. I like silly spooks, they feel non-threatening. Also, I thought it was a fun way to readapt the Disney ride into a modern atmosphere… for kids. Again, if Jordan Peele remade this movie it would be a lot different.

Apparently when “The Haunted Mansion” came out it made twice it’s budget, but was panned for being neither funny nor scary. Reviewers can’t be trusted though, if you ask me, because apparently “What a Girl Wants” got mixed to negative reviews and it’s one of the FORMATIVE movies of my childhood. FORMATIVE.

What streaming platform has “What a Girl Wants”? I think that should be next on my “cinematic masterpiece deep dive!”

Fashion Favorites: Film and TV

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If I hadn’t established so more clearly, I truly enjoy movies and television. Along with that, while I’m not the most stylish person, I do have my style preferences and sense of fashion! The more I grow attached to characters on TV, the more I notice how they carry themselves, and how they’re presented. How a person, or a character on the screen, dresses, says so much about their personality and background. Compare, for example, how Rachel Berry (the perky if naive head of the glee club) dresses in relation to how Santana Lopez (the quick-witted to the point of hostility cheerleader) dresses on the tv show “Glee.”

rachelberry

 
Rachel Berry has actually remained a big style inspiration for me. She started off in mostly sweaters with coordinated skirts and flats, but eventually, as she grew up and headed into the world of adulthood and college in NYC, her tastes matured into outfits that were flattering but not provocative, and classically stylish. That’s exactly how I want to dress now!

First, let’s take a look at a few specific outfits/wardrobe choices that have stayed with me, from past and present:

  1. Anastasia’s blue ballgown, from “Anastasia.” I’ve literally put wearing this dress on my bucket list. I loved the tulle cape paired with the elaborate jewelry and long white gloves. Add the sparkly hairclip updo and it’s my favorite look from any animated film.
  2. Robin Scherbatsky’s rehearsal dinner dress from “How I Met Your Mother.” In the final season of “How I Met Your Mother,” Robin gets married (I’ll keep the groom secret in case you’ve never seen it). The whole season takes place over the entire wedding weekend, and as a result, Robin spends two episodes in the most breathtaking gold strapless dress with shiny swirl accents. It’s a design from L’wrenn Scott, and I believe it was from, or at least inspired by, the Autumn/Winter collection she titled “Allegory of Love.” I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t think about this dress. It’s completely out of stock, but I fantasize about finding it one day in a fashion warehouse.
  3. Rebecca Bunch’s Michael Kors handbag, from “My Crazy Ex Girlfriend.” Anna Wintour once said that she rarely carries a handbag. I’m the same way; all I really need when I go somewhere is my phone, since I keep my ID in a pocket on the back of my phone case. That said, a good bag is a good handbag. The moment I saw this bag I realized “My God. I must have that bag.” I’m very anti-leather, and I believe this bag is patent leather. Still, I can recognize a good, everyday purse that can hold sunglasses, a checkbook, and all of your secrets.
  4. Andy Sachs’ black Paris power suit, from “The Devil Wears Prada.” I have such a fondness for this movie! Anne Hathaway’s character Andrea “Andy” Sachs starts out this film with clothes that are presentable, but not stylish. If you’re the assistant to Miranda Priestly, the head of the fashion world, that’s not going to cut it! With the help of art director Nigel Kipling, Andy undergoes a makeover worthy of a Madonna-backed montage. Near the climax of the movie, Andy prepares to go to meet with Miranda while wearing an all black jacket and skirt combination. Nigel comments, “Who put that together for you?” to which Andy admits it was something she picked for herself. Nigel smiles at her with pride, realizing she has come into her own, style wise. I couldn’t agree more.
  5. Renata Klein’s “Women in Power” suit, from “Big Little Lies.” I firmly believe 2018/2019 was the season of Laura Dern. She’s always been incredible, but she received a long and painful term on the Hollywood blacklist after playing a love interest for Ellen Degeneres in an anti-LGBTQ Hollywood. Now that Hollywood has begun to slowly but steadily open its eyes to the possibilities of non-heterosexual relationships, it seems she’s come back stronger than ever in back-to-back iconic performances as Nora Fanshaw in “Marriage Story” and Renata Klein in “Big Little Lies.” Renata Klein had one of the most iconic lines in season two of “Big Little Lies,” as she spits out, through gritted teeth, “I will not, NOT be rich.” The beginning of this season sees her posing in a power suit as iconic as she is, shiny and red. She smiles confidently toward the camera, and that look is the definition of the article for which she’s being featured in: “Women in Power.” I have no use for this power suit yet, but I will find my own version of it when I take my own rightful place as a woman in power. For now, I will live vicariously through Laura Dern, as should we all.

favoritefilmtvfashions

These were all incredible style choices within the context of each character’s story. A princess, a New York lawyer with taste, a powerful woman. To be fair, all of these women are strong women!

Nowadays, my fashion preferences are a little more lowkey. I’m a big plain white tee shirt with blue jeans kind of girl. I think streetwear fashion is veering more towards the world of less-is-more! That said, I can’t promise to not go full “Devil Wears Prada” when I make it to the big leagues. This is still one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.

 

Be a Fearless Leader: “Election” by Alexander Payne

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Over the weekend, my sister, mother and I settled in for a Saturday night movie together. We opted to watch Election, which had been on my list for a while but I never remembered when looking for something along that line of “high-school/coming-of-age”. I think Election falls more under the category of political satire, but I think it qualifies as both a coming-of-age film and a political satire.

Since a recurring theme in my posts this month has been a topic surrounding women, what with it being Women’s History month, I wanted to vent about this movie. Throughout the movie I could barely contain my eye rolls and disgust at some of the behavior in the film, most of it from Matthew Broderick’s character.

HARK! Spoilers under the cut!

Continue reading “Be a Fearless Leader: “Election” by Alexander Payne”

End of Year Favorites

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As I write this, I am seven hours and five minutes away from the new year. The new decade. It’s the new century’s roaring twenties.

With that in mind, I thought I’d compile a list of my favorite things from 2020! Let’s get right to it:

Favorite Movie: Us. I saw a lot of great movies this year, but Us is the one that has stayed with me the longest. Jordan Peele’s follow up to Get Out, Us is the story of a family that encounters their dopplegangers while enjoying the family lake house over summer vacation. I would recommend it to anyone who can tolerate mild horror elements, since it’s really more thriller than horror. Lupita Nyong’o was a FORCE in this movie. I had never been so captivated by a performance, except maybe Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman in Black Swan. She was not given a Golden Globe nomination for her role, which I find a DISGUSTING snub. DIS.GUS.TING.

Favorite Music: When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? by Billie Eilish. She’s barely eighteen years old, and she’s already created one of the most iconic songs of a decade. This is Billie’s second album, after her first album Don’t Smile at Me in 2017, which contained songs mostly wrote entirely by Billie and her older brother Finneas. Her voice ranges from being “spooky little girl” (in All the Good Girls Go to Hell) to “lilting angel” (in Everything I Wanted). She has a sense of humor about herself and the way the media portrays her (and women in general). I hope she keeps that belief in herself (which definitely is rooted in Finneas, who deserves just as much as credit), because she has one of the most unique voices in the industry right now. Here’s my favorite song from this album:

Favorite TV Show: This is tough! I have a tie. Both of these shows started before 2019, technically, but I only got into them this year.
Schitt’s Creek – What if that reality TV family lost ALL their money, except a tiny two-street town in the middle of nowhere bought ironically years prior? That’s this show. Comedy icon Eugene Levy co-created the show with his son Dan, and they play father-and-son within the series (former video store CEO Johnny and stylish do-nothing David, respectively). Filling out the family is Annie Murphy as David’s ditzy sister Alexis and the truly incomparable Catherine O’Hara as former soap opera star Moira. Their adjustment from riches to rags in a podunk town is charming, sentimental, and at times, rolling on the floor funny. After watching this show, you will never pronounce the word “baby” the same way.

YOU – Were we surprised? I’m gonna say it: it’s not “quirky” or “weird” to be into serial killer/stalker/murder shows. In fact, I think it’s more weird now to not be into them. Unless you’re my mom. In which case, don’t worry. You’re great. I love you! Penn Badgley stars as Joe Goldberg, a leveled up version of Badgley’s character in Gossip Girl, Dan Humphrey. It’s a classic love story… boy meets girl, gets obsessed with her, manipulates his way into her heart and rids any obstacles on their path to happily ever after by any means necessary. The true love story, however, is on Twitter, where former fans of Tate Langdon and Zac Efron’s version of Ted Bundy discuss how much they love Joe… much to Penn Badgley’s horror.

Favorite Podcast: Office Ladies! Oh my goodness oh my goodness. Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey (AKA Pam Beesly and Angela Martin from The Office) have started a podcast discussing The Office, providing fun facts and behind-the-scenes secrets about each episode. They’re only about ten or so episodes in, but listening to this podcast on my way to work in the morning is an absolute highlight of my week! There’s only been a few moments where I can say “Oh, I knew that,” in reference to their trivia (being a die-hard Office fan as it is), and hearing all new production notes just makes it more special. It’s like watching the show for the first time all over again!

officeladies

Favorite Book: “Never Play Dead” by Tomi Lahren. I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY! A bleeding red-state Conservative nightmare who hates all things peace and love? You read HER book?! You gave her money?! And LIKED it?!
michaelscottI know! Believe me, I know. But also…

Tomi Lahren was fired from her job at “The Blaze” for speaking her mind about a controversial opinion to have in her world: being pro-choice in a pro-life political affiliation. Since then she has won a wrongful termination lawsuit and now works as a Fox News correspondent. She is one of the most discussed political commentators right now, and with good reason. Her fiery rants are very intimidating! But then you ask yourself: is she intimidating, or are you intimidated?

Truth be told, Tomi Lahren is a strong woman with an even stronger work ethic. To read in her book that she was always the odd girl out (and never, say, the cheerleader or the prom queen) was very surprising, as was her past history with abusive relationships and an eating disorder (aren’t all pretty blonde Republicans just naturally thin without trying?). I don’t agree with Tomi on a lot of things. But I am all for radiating the confidence of a much smarter, more self-assured woman.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from her book:
“When I look myself in the mirror, I ask: What did I do today to get me closer to what I want to achieve?”

“When you own your sh*t, you reach a different level. It’s also really healing to recognize your poison and when you are standing in your way.”

“The truth is this: you are magic—with or without ‘likes.'”

Favorite Place: Monaco. I have made many mistakes in my life. I’ve said the wrong thing, I’ve sabotaged myself, I’ve hurt others and in turn, they hurt me. Every bad decision has been worth it, because every choice I made led me to be on the top deck of the Celebrity Constellation on October 31 to see this view of Monaco at night. The picture doesn’t do it justice, so hopefully, you can imagine.

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No filter on this Monaco mountain.

Favorite Food: Pistachio gelato. Tried it for the first time in Sicily. Combined it with Nutella gelato. The best food on this earth. Get away from me if you disagree.

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Favorite Skin Care Product: Cosrx Acne Pimple Master Patches. I’ve never seen a miracle product work in such a way. Buzzfeed told me to try them eighty times, and I didn’t believe them until my cousin Stephanie vouched for them. I kid you not, if you catch a pimple two days before an event, slap on one of these bad boys before you go to sleep each night. It will be easily concealed by makeup after night one, and completely gone by night two. If you’re gross, you’ll see the buildup of whitehead ickiness when you take the patch off in the morning. It feels like vindication.

Buy yours here!

Favorite Make-Up Product: Ardell Individual Knot-Free Lashes. Last December, I had my makeup trials for the wedding. My MUA, Jamie Dragon (literally Miss Vermont several years ago) applied these lashes to my eyes and they stayed there for a full two weeks after I got back. After the wedding, I pulled my last lash off when washing my face one night on my honeymoon. Boom. Because I am the way I am, I have tried and failed twice to put them on myself, but I bought them again this past week to practice and get good at it. Guarantee you’ll feel like a new person with these lashes!

Buy yours here!

Favorite Moment of 2019: You’re gonna be surprised: the entire day of my wedding was my favorite moment of 2019. From being told the wedding was going to be outdoors, to the John Lennon quote during the ceremony, to looking at all my friends and feeling so grateful for all of them during dinner that night, to spinning around like a princess to “Dancing Queen” by Abba. Every second of that day, even the stomach pains from eating too much cheese, was perfect. That said, I’ll also share this honest moment of love from the honeymoon:
Aaron and I were supposed to go into Kotor on our cruise. However, the day of that disembarkation, the seas were too rough for us to make port. We were forced into another day at sea, on a day too windy to enjoy the pool or sunning ourselves on the Dalmatian coast. That said, Aaron and I made a decent day of it. Along with that, our stateroom attendant had provided us a complimentary bottle of wine to celebrate our wedding. Aaron and I stared out at the Game of Thrones like mountains while drinking red wine like Cersei Lannister. Aaron took this photo of us in the rainy wind that day.

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It’s silly, and one moment of a million great moments of that trip, and our whole year, but I’m going to always remember that moment as being so perfect that I actually enjoyed the taste of the red wine (which, as anyone can tell you, is saying something, because most wine makes my tongue sad).

I have had a truly wonderful 2019, full of twists and turns and moments of love. I’m so happy and thankful for this year, and this entire decade.

Now let’s roar these twenties.

A Childless Millenial Rants about a Childless Millenial Rant

Posted on by maljoylove

Living in Orlando was the opposite of what I thought my future held. When I graduated high school, I was ready to head up north and take on NYC after college and climb my way up the corporate ladder. Life happens when you’re making other plans.

Aaron got a great job in a town outside of Orlando a month before our graduation from UVM, and I was certain of my future with him. I begrudgingly returned to Florida, assuaging myself with the positives: I’d be closer to my mom and Aaron decided that with our close proximity to the parks, a Disney Annual Passholder membership was imminent.

It’s been three years since our graduation, and we’ve lived separately and together since. We started out in Orlando suburbs but now live in a neighborhood so close to the parks that we hear the fireworks at night as we get ready for bed. We tend to go at minimum once a month, though often more. It’s surreal to think that a vacation that families save up a year to provide their kids is just a typical Saturday for us. We are so very very lucky.

After being a Passholder for nearly two years, I know the parks like the back of my hand. I know all the tricks, how to maximize your time, and will give you random fun facts while you wait in line. Truthfully, my first job out of college made me really sad and I often felt like it crushed my soul. I would go to Disney World and get a little bit of that spark back, get a sense of what it feels like to be happy, before going back to work on Monday (repeat for a little over a year). Now I’m out of that job and even closer to the parks and it truly does spark joy in my heart.

So you can imagine my disappointment when this tweet, and the corresponding Facebook post, made it’s rounds on the internet last month:

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I don’t particularly love the language used in this post, but if it’s good enough for a toddler mom to share, it’s good enough for a childless millenial to post. Am I right?

There was a lot that bothered me in this post, but I actually started to think about the root of the “problem”: a lot of millenials have been flocking to Disney lately. And my question is: why?

I have never taken a sociology course (though I think I accidentally sat in on the first five minutes of one after mixing up the building names for a different class my junior year at UVM), nor have I done any legitimate research. This is all conjecture, one childless millenial’s theory (or theories):

  1. There’s a lot of millenials out there. Statistically speaking, the generation born between the late eighties and the mid-nineties is the largest since the baby boomers of the fifties. Thanks for the prosperity, Reagan, I assume, because your success sure made for a lot of baby happy parents. There may just be an influx of millenials in all public spaces because there’s just a lot of us. If you don’t like us at Disney, I promise you, we’re at Universal, Legoland, the Tate Modern, the Eiffel Tower, we are in your favorite juice bar both ordering and serving you an acai bowl. We are on the other end of the phone, repairing the internet browser connection for you while simultaneously troubleshooting your printer. We are in your daughter’s classroom, teaching her how to read. Mind your manners. Or should I say:
  2. Millenials hit the technological goldmine: our tiny tot years had VHS tapes. Music went from tape players to Walkmans to iPods. Our tween years had the internet. Our teens and twenties had (and have) social media. We have more access to shared Disney content than any other generation. What’s more…
  3. The sixties, seventies and eighties saw a bit of a slump for Disney. It wasn’t until 1989’s The Little Mermaid that Disney started to get it’s magic back. With releases of the classics on aforementioned VHS tapes, we could spend all day singing to Cinderella and Snow White. Then came the true evolution of the Disney “Renaissance”: Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Lion King, Toy Story (and Toy Story 2), Mulan, and Tarzan were all released in the 1990s. We watched them in theatres and then they were popped into our VHS players for us to watch over, and over, and over again. Personally speaking, my mom had CDs of Disney music ranging from the most recent triumphs to the earliest tunes. On hot summer days, she’d play the CDs on our home speaker system so we’d be listening to Disney music by the pool. My privilege may be showing, but you get my point: our generation not only had the most access to Disney, but more quality Disney content was provided to us than that previous generations.
  4. Remember how I said this is all solely conjecture? Here’s my biggest doozy:
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    The previous generations were old enough to recognize what happened when the planes hit the towers. All millenials could recognize that some scary people with hate in their hearts destroyed some special buildings, and that a lot of people died. Our parents were scared. Family members flew out to foreign countries in camouflage and didn’t come back. Getting on planes took way longer. Grown-ups were just different.

To me, it makes perfect sense that my generation has a stronghold on Disney. It is a crystal clear marker of happier times, of apple juice and dress-up. Playing in the pool (or lake, or ocean) pretending you were Ariel, or wanting to shoot a bow and arrow like Mulan, wanting to grow big and strong like Hercules, wanting to be smart like Belle, wanting to be king, like Simba. Our hopes and dreams, our peace of mind, is tightly connected to Disney.

I feel as though a lot of the same people who would agree with this frustrated mom would likely support the notion that millenials are special snowflakes who got participation trophies and live their lives with kiddie gloves on and a helmet. While some millenials do still have their training wheels (I’m not ashamed to admit that I’d be much worse off were it not for the support system I have), a lot of others work more than one job to stay afloat. Most have thousands of dollars in student debt. It’s likely that a lot of them will be renting until their forties. Some are still feeling the aftershocks of prejudice that is only just now being slowly washed away, and some are still living in the harsh reality that if change is coming, they won’t be alive to see it come to fruition. It’s tough growing up in general, and I’m sure that every person on both sides of the argument can agree with that. Millenials just happen to have found comfort in the memories of their childhood.

Disney World is a truly magical place. It inspires hope, unites families, and reminds you that while emotional maturity makes you a grown-up, you can always be young at heart. One of my favorite traits about me is my childlike sense of wonder. I’ll ask the silly questions, I’ll get some answers, I’ll laugh and smile and sing the songs. Happiness is such a beautiful thing. I will always feel at home in Disney, and I’m not embarrassed by its place in my heart.

A fellow Disney fan posted this note on Facebook, and I think it rings true for me and the other “childless millenials” that roam the parks:

wearethefuture

To my fellow millenials: grab hold of  your dreams, and make them come true.

To the frustrated, tired mom of Aiden: I’ll gladly wait with him for a pretzel, and gently teach him that patience is a virtue if he gets cranky in line. In the meantime, you should sneak over to Tom Sawyer’s Island. In my experience, it’s pretty quiet, and you can get a quick nap in before the afternoon parade. We’ll bring you a Mickey ice cream while we’re at it.

icecreammickey
Photo from here

She minored in Film and thinks she’s Roger Ebert

Posted on by maljoylove

I will be straight up — I love movies. I’ve only known a few people who genuinely don’t enjoy movies or have the audacity to say “I don’t watch TV,” so enjoying them doesn’t make me a special person. That said, I’ve gotten lost in both the world of production and the final outcome a lot, starting from my formative years. I’ve wanted to have every part in a film crew at least once, so it made sense for me to do film analysis in college.

Here’s the thing though– I felt like a lot of my film analysis classes were underwhelming. It felt like the same three people offered the same opinions, and my global film class was all based on indie movies and not films that defined a genre. I was hoping I’d be watching Miyazaki and Fellini, and while I got ONE Iñárritu film I just felt short changed (no offense to my professor, because she was super nice and let me talk). Each week, we’d be asked what we thought of each movie, and the same three people would just repeat “Oh that was the greatest movie ever, SO important, SO impactful,” and I would just turn to them, notice no other hands, then raise mine and say “I’m sorry, these were fine movies, but this isn’t the greatest thing ever put into theatres. I was bored and unimpressed.”

Which brings me to my man Quentin Tarantino, and his latest film “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” A few weeks ago I posted that “Inglorious Basterds” is one of my favorite movies, and I stand by that. Well scripted, incredible acting, perfect degrees of suspense with a delicious payoff.

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That said, “Once Upon in Hollywood” felt like an amalgam of a lot of the problems I have with Tarantino, and the way he’s heralded in the media.

Tarantino comes off, at least in his interviews and his films, like the ultimate troll. He knows that a lot of people hate his work for both the gratuitous violence and the way he treats women (save for “Jackie Brown” and “Kill Bill”). With that, he cranks it up a notch, beats Jennifer Jason Leigh in the face, and basically takes a trip to Costco to buy ketchup at a discount to create a Jackson Pollak painting as a template for how bloody his action scenes should be. When people ask him why, he says why not, with the cheekiest grin. He delights in being that guy and to that, I do salute him. He is unapologetic in being himself.

I wouldn’t call him untalented, either. Again, I loved “Inglorious Basterds” and thoroughly enjoyed “Django Unchained.” I genuinely don’t understand the hullaballoo of “Pulp Fiction,” and I literally cried during “The Hateful Eight” because I couldn’t believe how much I hated it. I got mad at my dad for driving me to the movie theatre to see it.

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Up until “The Hateful Eight,” though, I thought that Tarantino could do no wrong (I appreciated “Pulp Fiction”‘s impact, even if I thought that it was just all right). Even after I saw that movie I thought “Hey, no one’s perfect. He’s gotta have at least one stinker.” Turns out I was not alone in that sentiment, but others called it the best movie of the year.

In the time between “The Hateful Eight” and “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” I could discover all the reasons one would hate Tarantino: his use of the “n” word (his own use of it and the abuse of it), his violent tendencies, his misogynistic undertones (including and not limited to his close partnership with Harvey Weinstein), and yes… the foot thing.

The first thing that threw me off my game during “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” was that rumor about him having an obsession with feet. I had never noticed it, though I will concede that the scene with Diane Krueger’s reveal in “Inglorious Basterds” is a hint to it, when you put it in that context. Now, I don’t know if this is just Tarantino doing Tarantino and taking it up to eleven, but almost EVERY female character in that movie was barefoot, ranging from Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie could do any movie and I’d see it) to a greasy Dakota Fanning as Squeaky Fromme (“She is… DIFFICULT.”) to Brad Pitt’s jailbait love interest “Pussycat,” played by Margaret Qualley. At a certain point the line has to be drawn. I’m not drawing a line, it’s more like a note that says “Hey man, you good, or…?”

Secondly and MOST importantly, to me, is that the phrase “Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino” is iconic and means you’re in for a good time. A long time and a good time. He’s a fantastic director, and every frame is truly a painting. That said, I feel like his movies (and yes, I do mean all of them), have scenes that are just… there. You could crunch those scenes down to thirty seconds and not lose any of the plot or artistry. “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” was no exception.

Half of Rick Dalton’s scenes were unnecessary. SO much exposition, SO much unneeded dialogue. We get it: his character has seen more successful days and his craft is waning because he’s an alcoholic. That’s literally an hour of a movie with multiple plot lines.

This is NO SHADE TO MY BOY LEO. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

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As well, almost the entirety of the Bruce Lee sequence was unnecessary. Now if that was all just a reason for us to get Brad Pitt working on a rooftop in only a pair of jeans reminiscing on his reason for not getting hired to stunt for this day’s set, then fine. I’ll allow it. He is in wonderful shape. Good for Brad. Yay Brad. Five stars for Brad.

Spoiler alert: the gist of the scene is that Brad Pitt’s character, Cliff Booth, is deadly strong and could have killed Bruce Lee on a shoot had someone not intervened. People took issue with this scene because of the depiction of Lee as arrogant (“My fists are lethal weapons” is a loose paraphrase of one of his lines). According to those close to Bruce Lee, he kept to himself because he was scared already of being a minority in a predominantly white industry. It’s sad knowing that he was borderline self conscious of his own talent out of fear of discrimination and racism. You could revise that whole scene into thirty seconds of Cliff CAUSING the trouble, egging Lee to punch him, and Lee sheepishly refusing but then agreeing because it’d be a fun scrap. Boom! Cliff proves he can take and deliver a punch in thirty seconds, Lee’s ego remains intact, no one’s offended, and we prove that Cliff is a troublemaker who can’t be trusted onset.

There’s also a brief mention that Cliff probably killed his wife. Reviews have taken issue with the speculation regarding whether or not he killed his wife or it was an accident or it’s a rumor (most are using it as cannon fodder to support the theory that Tarantino is a sexist who delights in abusing women). I don’t think it’s that deep, and yet…

Later in the movie (more spoilers), Cliff visits where the Manson family resides in an abandoned film ranch, and beats up a hippie for stabbing a tire on his boss’s car. I personally think it would have been a fun payoff to have rumors buzz for the first hour about how strong Cliff was, but not actually getting a chance to see it until that one moment where he bludgeons the guy to a pulp to repair the tire. Now that we know that he stands a chance against Bruce Lee, it’s less fun. BUT that’s one gal’s opinion, whomst am I to judge Tarantino’s choice there?

The long, drawn out scenes with unnecessary monologues and dialogue feel like the result of a writer who was never told “Hey, this isn’t very good.” I saw a tweet that someone shared, exasperatedly commenting “Not another first draft that made it to screen” in reference to this movie. I kind of agree. There’s just 1-3 scenes too many in each Tarantino film.

To me, it just feels like Tarantino takes the criticism as a personal attack (he’s lashed out at interviewers before who question his choices), rather than an artistic perspective. To that point, I feel like Tarantino’s work is often polarizing. Those who love Tarantino defend his every move. If you insult or disparage his work in a film class, a film forum, or just tweet about it on Twitter, you can expect some nasty feedback.

I didn’t hate this movie: everyone’s acting was sublime. Leo DiCaprio and Bradd Pitt are QUITE the dynamic duo. I hope Margaret Qualley gets more opportunities to shine, because I particularly liked her. Leo DiCaprio’s plotline involves a scene with a young child actor named Trudi Fraser. Her portrayer, Julia Butters, must be protected at all costs. I will build an orb around her to protect her from the world. I’m pretty sure she could handle the world without blinking an eye but I still won’t stand for anyone bullying her ever. The scenery/cinematography is stunning. Tarantino’s use of Margot Robbie is exactly what it should have been, even if I was disappointed by it (I wanted her to have more screen time, but the whole point of her side of the story is that Sharon was just starting out her career. She had so much potential, but we barely got to see it before she was murdered).

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The ending is ten of the most satisfying minutes I’ve experienced in a movie theater, though I will admit, if you have no idea who Sharon Tate is or the significance of the Manson Family murders, you will be very confused by the movie’s ending.  To that effect, “Inglorious Basterds” and “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” both provide an amazing “What if…?” scenario, but in truth, reality is stranger than fiction. Demented monsters destroyed because they could.

Tarantino has said that he wants to retire by 60, and though this is uncertain, he’s said before that he wants to make ten really good movies before retiring. It looks like his next will be his last. A lot of current rumblings say his finale will/should be a horror film. I would very much look forward to that; I personally think that today’s cinema is headed towards a new era of dark humor and black comedy. Tarantino’s dialogue is good and he writes strong characters. I think the wheels are in motion for this black comedy/funny horror boom, thanks to movies like “Get Out” and “Midsommar”, but I think that at this rate, the slingshot’s in hand and the projectile is is in the rubber slot. If Tarantino decides to shoot, he’ll leave behind a legacy. Ready… aim…

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