If conversations about weight loss trigger or induce feelings of anxiety, shame, and depression, skip this post!
I didn’t make weight loss a full priority this year (despite it coming up for me, mentally, multiple times). By golly, I should have! I hoped that I would slim down this year, and not only did I fail, but I gained weight. I feel humiliated, sad, and most of all, uncomfortable. My clothes stopped fitting well a few months ago. I still fit into a lot, but I know I could look better. I also know that I could feel better. When I climb a flight of stairs, I’m breathing heavily by the top. Sometimes, I feel myself getting out of breath after a conversation! Just talking wears me out now? Really? Sheesh!
It’s gotten to the point that I watch clips of, ahem, certain TLC shows and wonder how anyone gets farther than I do. All I want to do is get down to a healthier size now. Certainly, I want to look better and not be an eyesore to society, but that feels so secondary right now. Legitimate uncomfort rises from NEW places. My skin irritates easily as an unfortunate side effect. If I sit on a blanket, lifting it out from under me takes effort. It’s little things like that! I didn’t realize how much of a luxury they were.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I think my biggest problems lie with cheese and chocolate. They are my true vices! I’m a sucker for a calzone, and I love to wash it down with a pint of ice cream. Okay, to clarify, I can’t remember the last time I did that. However, I do remember the last time I ate a whole pizza, mozzarella sticks and a chocolate bar, all in one sitting. It was last week!
Sometimes I wonder if, similar to an alcoholic, I can just never have those things. Sure, plenty of people go out there and have *a* glass of champagne, without it turning into two glasses, a bottle, two bottles, and tequila. Heck, I’m one of those people! However, when it comes to cheese and chocolate, I only know full speed ahead. That’s why veganism was so good for me!
I intend to come back next week (ten days? give or take) with a full-fledged breakdown of my 2022 resolutions. However, rest assured, weight loss is one of my resolutions for the year. It’s time to get healthy, for real, no matter the cost. It’ll make me a stronger runner, more capable of doing a pull up, and truly, I believe, a happier person. If I’m happy, the rest is just confetti.