Category: Contentment

Good Vibes Only?

Posted on by maljoylove

I’ve wanted to write this week almost every day, but each day it was motivated by a negative emotion! I don’t want to be just overwhelmed by dark energy.

With that, I think I want a social media detox.

This past week has been almost too much for me emotionally. A nasty law has me questioning my own autonomy, my favorite platform is overrun by exposure of imperfections and inappropriate behavior, and an Instagram model is just crushing my self esteem right now.

I think if I hopped off Twitter, Instagram, and Reddit for a while, my brain might begin to connect with myself again. I’m wondering if maybe my inability to define my brand, the look I want to bring to the world, stems from an inability to find what *I* like. I feel like I’m so concerned with how other people are living their lives and what other people are doing that I’m not paying attention to what *I* want. Instead, I’m focusing on how other people are living the life that I want… being beautiful and living by the ocean. I WANNA LIVE IN BATHING SUITS AND DO SUNRISE YOGA ON THE BEACH EVERY DAY. How does that work?

I feel like I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want to see that stuff anymore, but I think I should be aware that it exists. It’s almost a cycle of nonsense. I should be cognizant of the manipulation of truth, inflated egos, and political issues that impact others, even if it doesn’t directly impact me.

People keep in touch with me on Facebook, so I want to just keep Messenger open, and jury’s still out on Pinterest. I love finding recipes on Pinterest, and fashion inspiration, but I have a lot of weight loss topics in my thread regularly, varying from different workouts (helpful) to yoga girls with abs in sports bras (hurtful).

Again: pretending that fit, healthy women don’t exist feels very “ignorance is bliss.” At the same time, not constantly having it shoved in my face may help my self-esteem.

I think I want to go three months without it. I think it may also help me be more productive, since I tend to get lost in my social media accounts without noticing time passing by, only to then be running late because I’ve been staring at my phone.

Writing that out actually solidified it for me. Productivity wins. I just removed Instagram, Reddit, Pinterest, and Twitter from my phone. Youtube is staying, only because I tend to find new music in my “Recommendeds,” but I admit that most of my addiction comes from Youtube sending me down rabbit holes. I think if I turn on enough of the right kind of video, I can re-calibrate what Youtube THINKS I want to see and I can get a fresh start that ONLY has music, meditations, Alan Watts lectures, and… I don’t know, ASMR videos? I do kind of like those.

zoe3.gif
It’s a Tide Ad. No, it’s Zoe Kravitz in a 2019 Super Bowl ad for Michelob. Fun fact, ASMR is quite lovely but finding a non-uncomfortable GIF of it is a challenge. 

I’m hoping that not being as distracted by social media will help me read more, listen to more podcasts, and become a better listener in general. I get the sense that Aaron gets peeved when I “scroll” when he wants to talk to me, and I in turn get peeved when he wants to talk to me when I’m trying to focus on what I’m looking at on my phone. This will eliminate the problem, right?

IN ADDITION: I find that nine times out of ten, I can’t watch a show straight on. More often than not, I need to be doing something else on social media while I watch something. Maybe not having that extra stimulation will help me focus on what shows actually hold my interest, maybe even what foods hold my interest!

I think this will be good in the long haul. I wonder how long I can actually last! I don’t want to leave social media forever by any means, I kind of just want to wait out whatever’s happening, and stop being so consumed by it. Cold Turkey feels the way to go. Deleting the apps feels almost safe.

Only good feelings from here, folks! Toxic stimulation begone. Mallory’s going to give the real world a try.

That’s so… on brand?

Posted on by maljoylove

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how to find my aesthetic. I partially (if not fully) blame Lauryn Evarts Bosstick, AKA the #Bossbabe behind “The Skinny Confidential.” It appears that she has been a hot-pink lover for years. Her blog is pink,  her office is pink, it’s all cool, LA girl Barbie-Meets-Kardashian. It’s like Playboy, but instead of objectification and misogyny, it’s empowerment and being true to your you.

I don’t really think I have an identifying, signature thing about me. When I think about things I’ve always liked, New York stands out the most. I’ve always loved the streets of Manhattan, the glitz and the glamour and the possibilities. That said, I’m not really sure how I’d build an aesthetic off of that. I’ve always liked the different decades, but you see the plurality? I love the neon of the eighties, the faded but violent seventies, the classy yet youthful sixties. I’m not entirely sure I could build my entire personal aesthetic around that.

IF I were to just focus on New York, I think immediately of classy white with VOGUE font. Crisp, classic, Upper East Side in the nineties, I suppose. That doesn’t really fit me either, because I love pops of color.

Looking back, I think that I truly got sold on New York City when I was seven. I had already started falling in love with Broadway shows, but it was in music class when my teacher put on “Fantasia 2000” and I heard Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin for the first time. The vignette takes place in what looks like 1930s New York City, and depicts the lives of a little girl with workaholic parents (relatable. I just realized that. Wow. I need a minute), a construction worker with a passion for jazz percussion, a wealthy couple starving for more –in more ways than one– and an unemployed man down on his luck. It opens with the sunrise over the NYC skyline, which stood out to me as a kid, because it looks like they draw it all with an Etch-a-Sketch, all one line set to the opening clarinet solo. The short has a happy ending (spoiler alert), and it all culminates in an epic finale that fades out with a shot of Times Square, all lit up with majesty.

RhapsodyFinale

I get shivers thinking about it. Hearing the finale used for Jay Gatsby eleven years later made me almost burst into tears in the theatre. Who better to symbolize the hope and potential of New York than The Great Gatsby?

I think a lot of who I am as a person can also be attributed to my love of food. Lately, I feel like I should stop being mad at my sweet tooth and just start owning it. I want to find the balance between being a cute chocoholic without… getting type 2 diabetes.

Along with that, I think I’m well defined by my near-childlike sense of wonder. I don’t think of it as clinging to youth, but more like holding fast to the belief that all things in life are possible and beautiful.

Since doing my 30 Days of Poetry Challenge, I’ve been spending more time in Photoshop. I’m no graphic designer by any means, but I think I’m going to try to make a logo of an infinity symbol with my name on the top lip. Is that cliche? I find all things infinite. I bet that every brand specialist would tell me that the first rule is to define myself and to not care what anyone else thinks, but simultaneously, I feel like infinity symbols are very cliche, very basic.

I guess when you get to the root of it, things are basic because they’re relatable. My film professor always hated that word. I love that even autocorrect is giving me a red squiggle for it (it’s also giving me the red squiggle for the word autocorrect, for a little added irony). I don’t think there’s wrong with speaking to something everyone feels. Someone took a mathematical symbol and made it emblematic of the possibilities of life. Possibilities are limitless, the very universe we live in is infinite.

I think this is all part of the process. For now, I’m going to fold the laundry that has been piling up– the Photoshop can wait, that laundry can’t. I’m going to look up some books on how to “Build a Brand.” Maybe I’ll learn something about myself in the process.

Speaking of learning about myself in the process, I turned on “Rhapsody in Blue” while writing this post and wouldn’t you know it: I’m pretty sure the young girl subplot has me in a different dimension.

I will include some final thoughts because I’m Tomi Lahren, only an unsuccessful, irrelevant version:

  1. I’ve been obsessing over Emily Ratajkowski lately, and she has the NERVE. The AUDACITY. To post this photo on Instagram:

    WARNING: NSFW PICTURE UNDER THIS LINE. SHE IS TOPLESS IN THIS PHOTO.

    emrata

    Get a load of that caption. You see that hair? THAT’S MY NATURAL HAIR. EMILY RATAJKOWSKI CALLS MY HAIR HER DREAM HAIR. TAKE ALL OF IT IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR PERFECTLY FLAT STOMACH, MADAM.

  2.  I made shrimp scampi for dinner last night and had the leftovers for dinner– I heated them in a pan and not the microwave and honestly? Groundbreaking.
  3. As far as my sweet tooth goes, my absolute favorite is Hershey Kisses. I think if I had an office, the foyer would feature three huge vertical tubes of Hershey Kisses. But then, who’s going to actually go diving in the tube besides me, for Hershey Kisses? Everyone else would just be so blase but I’d be walking people to the door and get caught with my entire arm down the tube of Hershey Kisses. Otherwise the chocolate goes to waste and I would never.
  4. I love Ed Sheeran so much but kind of don’t like that he’s BFFs with Justin Bieber. Justin is fine and talented but he’s best buds with Chris Brown and like…
    NeneLeakes.JPG
  5. There is no gif for Tomi Lahren on Google saying “Those are my final thoughts, from LA, God bless and take care” with her spirit fingers esque wave and it’s disgusting. That needs to exist. Do I have to make that? How is this on me?

 

 

 

Have you ever had a Marionberry Pancake?

Posted on by maljoylove

I’m obsessed with Portlandia, because it reminds me of Burlington. In their “Brunch Village” episode the daily special of the popular brunch spot is marionberry pancakes. I think they were going for the most obscure berry they could think of to obtain that “why is it” niche. Literally, take half of these sketches and put them on Church Street, and you wouldn’t notice.

“Brunch Village.” Portlandia, IFC. 9 March 2012

This week has been exhausting, especially compared to how blissful the weekend had been. Thankfully, nothing too maddening happened this week, but as we get further into our site migration, there’s more for us to learn-by-doing.

That said, there are a few things that I feel myself losing patience on frequently this week. People are trying to adjust their website without knowing how to do it. Imagine being a mechanic and standing next to someone with a flat tire, and the person wants to repair the flat tire on their own, but wants you to explain it to them, and when you tell them “You need a spare tire” they ask what a spare tire is. At that point, just let the mechanic repair the tire. This is not your time, my love.

With that, there is a sense of camaraderie with my coworkers. We know what it means when “Beverly” needs help, or when “Fred from Chicago” is on the phone. Then comes the pregnant pause after the phone call ends, and the coworker is like “OH. MY. GOD.” and we can all reply back with “Dude, I know.” It also helps me with appreciating the GOOD customers more. I’d give my life for “Carly.” Call me with help with the website whenever you need it, okay?

I’ve come up with a tactic when I feel like I’m about to snap. I just close my eyes and pretend I’m floating in the ocean, and I’m surrounded by tiny seahorses (solid “Napoleon Dynamite” reference). Then there’s jellyfish in my head, and I move my hand like it’s a jellyfish. The movement REALLY calms me down and diffuses my tension.

Light. Happy. Free. It’s me.
This image is from Tumblr.
I’m not certain if this is a real jellyfish it looks animated.

The theme song for Portlandia is really chill, too. It’s called “Feel it All Around” by Washed Out, and it does remind me of walking Church Street like I did in college.

It’s flashback Friday, and I’m feeling the nostalgia tonight for UVM hard. I’ve been doing a poem a day, and today’s theme was “Back to Nature.” I kept thinking about the times I’d just walk through the colors of UVM, whether it was the trees on campus or lying in the snow on a dead silent night. I have a lot of good memories. I can’t wait to move to New York, but I want to retire in Vermont. I want to have a nice home where I can hike and go to a farmer’s market for fresh vegetables.

I will make it happen one day. For now, I’m going to get ready for bed.

After one more episode.

Thoughts on Gratitude

Posted on by maljoylove

I feel like lately, I’ve been struggling with me. Work has been stressful with golf season in full “swing” (come back I’m not done), and I have a lot of self-imposed pressure to look perfect for my wedding in 200 days (give or take). I’ve had mini breakthroughs along the way, but I’ve noticed my low moments more and more and felt powerless against them.

This weekend has left me with a lot of gratitude. I’m lucky that I have family who made me feel safe and loved. Out of frame of this shot sat a kind of person I didn’t think existed until we met. I’m grateful for him.

Not long after taking this photo we wandered over to Strawberry Fields, where dozens gather to commemorate John Lennon (who, yes, is not my favorite Beatle, but his music matters). A guitarist sat nearby and someone walked past and requested “Imagine”. The crowd of strangers sat on the benches and listened as this girl strummed and sang the words we all knew. Everyone quietly joined in for the chorus and applauded at the end (I know “and everyone applauded” is very r/thathappened, but it did, I swear. No whoops or cheers, it was very polite applause). A girl sat with her mother crying and thanked the guitarist for playing that song, because it was her father’s favorite.

I’m grateful for that moment of community and love.

Before heading to the airport we found ourselves at One World Trade Center. It reminded me to be thankful because, as Lin-Manuel Miranda once so eloquently put it, “senseless acts of tragedy remind us that nothing here is promised, not one day.”

There were many beautiful things about this weekend, from our hotel to the food to the weather to the multitude of dogs. An absolute peak came from visiting 30 Rock. Twelve years ago, I was an awkward middle schooler who was obsessed with “Mean Girls,” and excitedly watched Saturday Night Live for the first time as Tina Fey hosted the show for its return after the end of the WGA Writers Strike. I am grateful to have had her voice guiding me through high school and college and helping me fall in love with comedy, writing, and strong female friendships (I hold Leslie and Ann strong in my heart, but the first big one was always Amy and Tina).

I wanted to work for NBC after that first SNL episode, and I’m so happy to say that now I do. It reminds me of how far I’ve come, and how much farther I have to go. A lot can happen in twelve years, so who knows where I’ll be at 36?

So today, I am thankful. I’m full to the brim with love and appreciation for the time spent this weekend, and I’m equally grateful for all the steps and missteps that got me there. I think twelve-year-old me would be proud of our journey. I resolve (and dare I say manifest?) to keep her with me as i move forward with this week, with this season, with the next 200 days, and the next twelve years.

If you read this, thank you. I love you. You can do this. Flurm.

Let’s Bang Out This Morning Routine

Posted on by maljoylove

Day 3 of OMAD, and the hunger pangs keep coming during the day but they are so liveable, and I have been relatively zen for the past three days. It makes me happy to think I might have found something that works!

That said, today, my angel of a coworker was sick, and we’re heading into peak season. On top of that, we’re in the middle of a massive transition with our platform that is throwing off our ability to make some crucial changes. I was trying to keep a cool head, but it was very busy. I can really only summarize my thoughts with this vine:

That said, I love how I started this year with a specific intent with my New Year to not put a lot of focus on my reading nor my weight, and yet that’s almost entirely been my focus these days. Rather than avoid it, I’d like to manifest it. With that, I want to put together a focused morning routine:

Let’s say my mornings are 5 AM – 7:30 AM. I need to reserve 7:00 – 7:30 AM for getting ready for work. That gives me from 5 AM to 7 AM to have a good start to my morning.

At 5 AM, I should wake up, brush my teeth, and drink a glass of water. I think with that I should do a morning meditation, and morning affirmations.

I think my workouts can be shorter. That said, in relation to my New Year’s resolutions, I have been making slow but steady progress with my “pull-up” resolution! It takes about twenty minutes to do my warm up and my pull-up practice. Everything on Pinterest says that fat loss isn’t so much about lengthy cardio as it is about weight lifting. WITH that, I lose fat from my legs last, and seeing my, ahem, “juicy” thighs is what always reminds me that I could stand to skip dessert every so often; when I look up how to lose fat from thighs, each article says endurance running, long bouts of easy cardio (nothing like a stairmaster or a high incline treadmill).

So, what is it, guys? No squats or no cardio?

“Beach Games.” The Office, NBC. 10 May, 2007

I’m going to just suggest that I do combinations of both, but keep my “leg days” light. Power walking is a suggested cardio, which I love, because I enjoy blasting songs played during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show and pretending I’m strutting the runway.

“2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.” CBS. Aired 7 November 2012. Walk by Rihanna during Phresh Out the Runway. Let it be known that Rihanna killed this walk and then created “SAVAGE X FENTY,” which has rivaled Victoria’s Secret lingerie with it’s competitive prices and inclusive sizing. I still want to be an Angel though, tbh.

Combine it with my arm workouts and ab workouts and I should be fine. Is it a problem, then, that my workouts are an hour? And then throw in the thirty minutes to get there and back? That leaves me only thirty minutes to hydrate in the morning, brush my teeth, and get myself dressed for the gym.

I could sleep in my gym clothes, but I’ve read that I’m not supposed to sleep in my sports bra either. I guess the act of taking off my workout shirt to put on a bra, and then putting my shirt back on, is less time-consuming than going all-out WITHOUT putting on anything.

So it’s settled then:
First five minutes of my morning: Brush my teeth, get water
Next twenty minutes of my morning: Meditation
Next five minutes of my morning: Getting changed and lacing up
Next fifteen minutes of my morning: Getting to the gym
Next sixty minutes of my morning: Workout, including:

  • Ten minute warm-up
  • Five minute pull-ups (three-four sets of ten)
  • Forty minutes of some combination of the following:
    • All cardio
    • Arm workout
    • Abs workout
    • Leg workout
    • Brief cardio session
  • Five minute cool down session

Next fifteen minutes of my morning: Getting home from the gym and MAKING GREEN TEA.

I wanna do aromatherapy in the shower. Cleanse with intent, or something.

That there sentence summarizes my whole approach to life: a desire for purpose, but cloaked in layer of humor with a dash of self-deprecation.

Enjoy green tea while getting ready in the morning. I want my mornings to feel more free, less frantic.

Here are some of the “I am” statements I want to use to guide my meditations:

I am beautiful.
I am strong.
I am loved.
I am smart.
I am successful.
I am kind.
I am beautiful as I am.
I am wealthy in currency.
I am wealthy in life.
I am wealthy in love.
I am whole.
I am pure.
I am happy.
I am content.
I am free.

Close it out with that layer of humor: here’s Josh Groban singing a Kanye West tweet.

Springing Forward

Posted on by maljoylove

I don’t know what it is! Maybe because I’m already home from work, or maybe because I’m trying to manifest better energy, but I feel so light and happy right now!

I’m giving OMAD a shot this week, and I started to feel it a few times during the day, but I let mind over matter persevere. Now I’m home and Aaron’s making pasta for dinner. I’m in my pajamas already, too! It feels good to feel this good.

I want to fill this blog entry up with smiley faces. Hooray for being happy!

I was watching this vlog today about a new-age morning routine. This girl wakes up and meditates, expresses gratitude, does kundalini yoga, and reads tarot cards, along with doing the standard skin routine ALL while waking up after the sun. I’m so jealous! I want to wake up at sunrise to meditate, then go for a workout. You know, when I verbalize that out loud, it doesn’t sound so impossible. I’d have to track the sunrise but I think I can do it! Or at least, meditate at sunset? The Golden Hour, for sure!

I also like that she expressed gratitude and recited affirmations. It’s all part of the law of attraction, where you attract only what you put out, like happy loving thoughts. I want to do that, too. I’ve definitely felt very ho-hum the past few weeks. I feel like my brain is all over the place! It’d do me well to write down all the things that are scattered in my brain.

Well, I’ve got a canvas right here, don’t I?

  1. Wanting to listen to more podcasts.
  2. Wanting to be more proactive in the mornings.
  3. Wanting to live kinder.
  4. Wanting to be healthier.
  5. Wanting a picture perfect wedding.
  6. Wanting a higher-paying job.
  7. Wanting to learn another language.
  8. Wanting to read more books.
  9. Wanting to be less tired.
  10. Wanting to FEEL less stress (I live a pretty not-so-stressful life, but I think I manifest the stress I DO have and it fogs my brain. Let’s get that out of there!).
  11. Wanting to have less debt.
  12. Wanting to be more organized.
  13. Wanting to have all of those things while still enjoying “Gossip Girl” and Pinterest scrolls.

The question is– Do I chip away at all of it at once, or do I chunk it down and tackle three of them at a time? I feel like taking care of all these things will make me the well-adjusted adult worthy of a memoir. Like “Somehow I Manage,” with me shrugging on the cover with my sleeves rolled up.

Okay, I’m watching “Gossip Girl” right now, but after this episode I will shift my attention to adding my bank accounts to my new phone and figuring out Acorn. Get my financial ducks in a row while listening to a podcast, then read before bed. Jackpot! Steps at a time.

2 Weeks Later

Posted on by maljoylove

I haven’t written in two weeks. It’s not for lack of desire, but lack of mental ability! I am so exhausted. Last week, the servers at work started an arduous maintenance progress. With half our team gone this week, I’ve had to update the websites for everyone with only one other person to help me. Things have been so hectic!

I’ve wanted to spend the last week writing, reading, meditating, finding a new sense of balance. But right now, I feel like all I can muster is work and workouts! I even asked Aaron for us to not spend the weekend at Disney World last weekend because I was too tired to spend two days walking around and eating indulgent foods. I needed a day to rest!

I’ve always wondered if enumerating my stresses would help me face them and alleviate them. I would like to try that now.

  1. Work is crazy. Everyone is on my case about things getting updated or the status of the server maintenance. It’s all work that I can do, but the volume is immense.
  2. My food choices are driving me crazy. I decided to do Whole30, which is 30 days of clean eating. I thought my body needed a detox after spending far too many days eating Reeses Cups and Hershey Kisses and… Panera Mac n Cheese. As a result, for the next 27 days (I’m on day 3) I can’t have any dairy, any desserts, any bread products, any legumes, anything processed, nor any products with added sugar. I can’t even make desserts out of Whole30 compliant foods. I feel mental hunger and I can’t do anything about it.
  3. I need to pick a honeymoon and make sure it’s fun and affordable. I can’t decide what I want.
  4. I’m too tired to do anything I enjoy, like reading or making time for self-care. My self-care has been WAY off this past week.
  5. My body is terrible. I feel like I look awful.
  6. My house is super messy and I’m too tired to clean it.
  7. Aaron is sick right now.

The issue here is that it’s a lot to handle for one person. A lot of stress impacting my 5’3 body. But let’s tackle them:

  1. Work is crazy… for now. This maintenance will be resolved soon. The other half of the team will be back Monday. You can handle two more days. You can. If things still haven’t improved by Tuesday, you can meet up with the other team members on how to move forward next week.
  2. It’s 30 Days. In 30 Days, you will be able to eat Reeses Cups, cookie cake, and all the donuts you want. Who knows? Maybe in 30 days you won’t want to eat that anymore. Your skin will clear up, you may even get more energy.
  3. This is a wonderful decision to make. You will make it when things calm down everywhere else. This can wait.
  4. A lot of this is probably mental exhaustion due to the other things in your life. Power through the rest of this week and start fresh on Monday.
  5. Take a bath. Take time to do your makeup tomorrow. Do something nice with your hair. Pick out a cute outfit for you to wear to work. This weekend treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure and maybe a blowout. Doing self-care this week will help. See how you feel in 30 Days, too!
  6. Clean one part of your house tonight, then another part tomorrow. You can do a deep clean this weekend.
  7. Take care of Aaron as much as you can, but take care of yourself. You’re going to be okay.

Whatever higher power is out there wouldn’t put something in front of you if they knew you couldn’t handle it. You most certainly can.

It feels good to say that. I know I can do it, I just wish I could be on an island somewhere. I wish I could just… I have had an epiphany and I’m going to state it thus:

I wish I could just float. There is a floating therapy studio down the street from where I work. I’m going to go.

Update: I made a floating therapy appointment for Friday after work, and a blowout appointment for Sunday. Pretty hair and a relaxed body. I love it already!

I was listening to a podcast yesterday that provided a good mantra: “Stillness, let go, listen, receive, and be.” I’m going to carry that with me moving forward this week, with an addition of “Love and breathe.” I could use a bit more of all of that.

I will be back soon. I’m listening to that podcast now, and feeling such zen. I’m ready to be present and let go of the tension. I feel love and I am love.

Day 3 and She’s Worn Out

Posted on by maljoylove

I got home from work at 5:50 PM and promptly COLLAPSED. I had a great start to my morning, shy of forgetting my headphone drive at home. I woke up early and went to the gym, completed a great workout, came home for a hot shower, did my makeup, made a delicious smoothie… but after I got to work, things started heading south.

I ate over my calorie deficit today, which isn’t the greatest feeling in the world. Work really drained me today! Things started picking up now that the holidays are over, and I kept getting case after case, problems to resolve, phone calls to take. I started feeling headache pains around 2. My brain battery REALLY started to drain after that, until I finally got home and threw on some PJs and took a power nap. I feel a lot better now, and I’m wondering what caused the on-rush of fatigue. I’m sure it was the early wake-up and the onslaught of work.

I feel like I can barely focus on screens anymore. If only my work life and happy time didn’t involve screens! Sometimes I think about removing my social media accounts and just living life offline. I don’t know how I’d enjoy that. A part of me thinks that I compare myself to others in the digital ether too much, and a break from the Instagram models and Youtube paradises would do my mental health some good. That said, it is not hard for me to sit back and be lazy. I think if I didn’t see all the people online, working their butts off at the gym and their work to have the lives they lead, I’d lose all motivation. Oh my gosh, am I competitive?

That said, I’d love to list some positives: Though I ate over my calorie deficit today, it was all mostly good stuff! My morning smoothie had fruit juice and two kinds of fruit. On top of that, it was made with my favorite sweetener: maple syrup! Bet you were wondering when my love of maple came into the picture.

I spent about an hour last night making my lunch for today: a vegan pasta with red cabbage. The cooked red cabbage made my pasta look purple, and it was so pretty and it made me happy. Colorful foods make me happy.

Courtesy of “Vegan on the Cheap” by Robin Roberts. Her recipe calls for GREEN cabbage, but my store didn’t have any so I went with red instead! Live dangerously, kids.

I’m a little bit less than halfway through “Becoming.” If I read during every lull in my day, I can make it to Saturday with a completed book! How cool would that be? With that, I’m gonna go take my make-up off, get my “look” ready for tomorrow, and read till I sleep. Sweet dreams!

Hours from Now…

Posted on by maljoylove

The countdown begins to 2019! I started off the last day of the year on the right foot… literally! I had a great start to my morning. I woke up at 4:30 AM, washed my face and drank some water before heading to the gym for a fantastic workout. Leg day with all new resistance bands (courtesy of my holiday list), followed by a round of Couch-to-5K. When I got home, I took a nice refreshing shower and thought about flat-ironing my hair, but it was still too wet. I may keep it the way it is now for New Year’s Eve later, since Aaron likes it when it’s curly-waves, but I also may straighten it so I don’t have to straighten my hair the night before work. I had a healthier breakfast, egg salad on Ezekiel bread. I was able to stretch and meditate before I got on the computer for my work day! Feels good.

The extra prep in the morning made for some great clarity. I want to set some realistic resolutions for New Years. I want to work hard and look back on 2019, this time next year, and think “Yes. I did that.” I feel like I didn’t do so many of the ones from 2018 that I set, or at the very least, didn’t do the ones I completed much justice. I’m going to change that in 2019.

I want to do seven resolutions. If I can accomplish, legitimately accomplish seven big things in 2019, that will feel like I’ve lived a good year.

MY SEVEN RESOLUTIONS FOR 2019

  • Do an unassisted pull-up. I can do assisted pull-ups, and push then pull myself up, but I want to be able to do one pull-up where I just grab the handles and lift myself to the bar.
  • Do a handstand. This one works on TWO levels (I’m such a multi-tasker, wow, be impressed!). I want to have the strength to lift myself above the ground and the balance to keep my body upright that way. Balance and strength. That’s the overall motif of 2019, I think!
  • Make mindfulness a regular practice. Whether it’s expressing gratitude, breathing when I’m panicked, or taking the time to meditate, I want to be more conscious of my self in my surroundings.
  • Make style changes. I feel like the way I dress says “I’m here.” No longer. I want to have a look for myself. This time next year, when I walk out of my house, I want the way I dress to say, “I have ARRIVED.”
  • Do something new. I can’t think of an exciting new food I tried this year, or done something that made me feel truly invigorated by stepping out of my comfort zone. I don’t know if it’ll be as quick as eating the spiciest food on the menu, or playing paint-ball, but I want to push myself to the limits and do something weird and different.
  • Take a Career Step. I love my job now, but I want to see some legitimate progress. I want to participate in a huge project. I want to complete an assignment that will have an impact. I want my work to make my coworkers’ lives easier.
  • Go stargazing. I feel like this year I’m going to find myself at home among the planets. In 2018, I fell in love with cotton candy skies at sunrise. Let’s see what 2019 holds.

I have this wild thought. I always resolve to lose weight, read more, and I feel like I never accomplish it the way I want, or however much I want. This year, I’m going to absolve myself of making a weight loss or reading commitment. Granted, I’m still going to live a healthy lifestyle and read books, but I want to start the year off with positive energy, and manifest that throughout the year. Maybe without trying I’ll read a hundred books this year.

I want to feel bliss in the new year. I feel like a lot of my life is actions comprised on a need to “survive.” By “survive,” I mean “participate in society.” I need to go to my job to make money to pay off my student debt. I need to work hard and eat the right things and make the right choices so that I can have things later that I enjoy, so I can rest easy in forty years. I feel like that weight is crushing and maybe, just maybe, I can lighten the load by adding more things to my life that make me happy. It feels so pretentious to say “follow my bliss” or “chase happiness,” but I want to wake up in 2019 and smile and think “Wow, it’s a beautiful day to be alive.” I would love to have only good days, but I do a good job now of thinking about the balance between good and bad days. I appreciate the good days more when I think about the bad days, and I’m grateful for the bad days to make the good days that much better.

Happiness, starshine and sunlight. I meant to write sunshine and starlight, but I think it goes both ways, right? Cheers to 2019!