A week from tomorrow, Aaron and I fly out to Vermont for our wedding. Commence me freaking out over things that I cannot control.
Let me be clear: I am not freaked out about marrying Aaron. I’m most sure of him! That said, I feel this moment from “How I Met Your Mother” (season 4, episode 5, “Shelter Island”) best encapsulates how I feel:
Lily: You wait for the next crisis, you solve it, you’re a hero.
Ted: Yeah, but what if there’s no next crisis?
Lily: She’s a bride. There will BE a next crisis
–CUTAWAY CAPTIONED “LIKE FOUR MINUTES LATER” —
Ted: There’s a next crisis!
In the past week there’s been confusion over vows, hiring a videographer at the last second, a missed line in the contract for the DJ indicating we never ordered a photo booth, and tonight I’m worried there won’t be enough time for everyone to dance long enough!
I blame the sun for setting so early but also not early enough for us to get this ceremony done by 5.
BOTH my parents have told me that feeling stressed is normal at this time, but also silly. This day shouldn’t be about pleasing everyone, it should be about Aaron and I celebrating our love for each other. Everything else is just extra. But come on, everyone’s flying to Vermont for the whole weekend! I want it to be a night everyone remembers as being good and fun.
Whoosh. My brain feels wired. I wish I could just focus on the honeymoon and Aaron and not “what if there isn’t enough ABBA?” I should know by now THERE WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH ABBA.
My writing hasn’t been on this blog, but I’ve been doing free verse poetry when inspiration hits, so I haven’t completely neglected writing. I’m ready to be consistent, even though I’ve said that a million times a million months ago. The timing feels right, though, to start now.
Tomorrow is Erev Yom Kippur. Most Jewish holidays start the night before, at sunset. I’ve noticed that I always think of sunsets as beginnings more often than endings, and I wonder if my Jewish upbringing has anything to do with that!
Yom Kippur is a time of renewal, purification, and detox. We fast to break from our daily routine and reflect on the past year, on our mistakes and our failures, our successes and triumphs. Typically, I abstain from work and school to take a day to pray. In the past I’ve slept after services, but it’s felt more like a distraction from hunger than restful. This year, I’m not spending the day in a service, since I’m basically taking a month off of work starting next week between my wedding and the honeymoon.
With that in mind, I’m starting the reflection part now.
I think I’ve said this in my blog somewhere, but Aaron was not a part of my plan. Personally, I think that our paths are predetermined, and that while I may have had a plan in my head, I didn’t have much control over the execution of it. I don’t want to go all woo-woo mystic, but I’ll say this: the life I thought I would lead diverged the day I fell in love with him.
Sometimes, when we disagree (I say disagree, because he’s never legitimately gotten angry with me. Ever.), I think about what I would do if he vanished from my life (as in, packed his bags and we went our separate ways). On a silly note, I imagine going out and dancing all night, binging pizza in my underwear, and singing the typical break-up songs in a karaoke bar.
More realistically, I think about those silly moments as lasting a week, maybe, then carrying on with a bruised heart but clearer eyes on the goals I had before we met. Grateful for the memories, but ready to make new ones. I realize now that’s not the best way to think of my ambitions. I haven’t abandoned them for love; I chose Aaron because I thought he would be the ideal person to have at my side as I chased them down, and I’d be the ideal person to be at his side for his ambitions. I still think of us that way. In fact, I’m closer to my dreams now with his support.
I don’t see why my initial plan has to change because he’s a part of my life. It was silly for me to think that the steps in my journey would have to change because I had someone riding shotgun.
I wanted to make a list of the things I’d do regularly if I were still single. Truthfully, none of them have to do with being stereotypically single, it’s all “being my best self”:
Work out more
Eat a vegan diet
Expand my film knowledge
Cook healthy
Learn new languages
Go to museums
Read at night
Write at night
None of these things can’t happen because I’m engaged. I don’t know what part of my brain decided that, or why they did that.
This is the year I reset. Retool. Rekindle. Restore.
It’s raining outside and it’s 10:33 at night on a Monday. I want to write down another list of things, but make it a list of little things that bring me happiness.
Rainy nights
Rainy mornings
Warm bathmats and towels
Cool mornings
The smell of fire pits
For a girl so food-driven, it’s funny to think that there’s no food mentioned there. I think that bodes well for me.
I promise it won’t be almost a month until next time. I might even be back tomorrow. If not, I promise to be writing elsewhere.
I believe my last post was two weeks ago. That said, what if I told you that I wasn’t NOT writing, but in reality, working on a long overdue, always wanted, but never took the time to complete, project?
I give you, the mind baby of years and the birthed child below: the Glam Girl manifesto.
I am not the only one who has looked at these magazines advertising workout, beauty, and health tips from the toppest of the top Models and thought “Oh shoot, I should try that.” You do that enough over the years, and some things are new (the power of loose powder), some things are familiar (Prep H can do more than treat the obvious and the equally obvious), and some things are so gloriously overstated that you think they’d sink in by now (you’ll know it when you see it).
I made special priority to focus in on my current #WomenCrushWednesdays: Gisele Bundchen, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Candace Swanepoel. How perfect is it that today is Wednesday?
There’s also a few random cameos from other fabulous icons of the runway and the red carpet, and a section of general ideas from various nutritionists, dieticians, and makeup artists to the legends. To that, I owe credit entirely to byrdie.com, wherein I fell down so many rabbit holes that I’m surprised I didn’t wind up in a Mad Tea Party. It’s still going, by the way, I saved some more articles to browse at my leisure later. A “journalist’s” work is never done.
That said, I did eliminate SOME excess. I don’t think I included any specific products because there were some obvious product sponsorships (the aforementioned ladies are all current and former Victoria’s Secret models, so was I surprised to see that they all promoted VS fragrances? Not that they shouldn’t, it’s literally their job and “Bombshell” is bomb).
All right punks, let’s do this.
Gisele Bundchen
Who is she? Brazilian, mostly retired supermodel, who has since become an accomplished author and environmentalist advocating for saving the world for the future generations. If sports mean anything to you, she’s also married to current and longtime GOAT, Tom Brady. He cute, I won’t lie. She, however, was nicknamed “The Body,” and was featured in Vogue’s editorial “Return of the Curve.” Victoria’s Secret Angel, obviously.
Makeup – Less is more. Natural all the way! When doing a smokey eye, use beige or gold eyeliner in the inner corner to prevent eyes from looking too far apart. Blush only on the apples of the cheek and nose (NOT BELOW CHEEKBONES).
Skincare – Cleanser and chemical peels. She advocates a HEALTHY DIET, with a good balance of fats, protein, and W A T E R . Moisturize to keep from skin deterioration and premature aging.
Hair – She doesn’t brush her hair much, to keep those sexy waves. She uses detangling hair conditioner to keep things unruly.
Adriana Lima
Who is she? THE Victoria’s Secret Angel, if you ask me. During her final walk in the 2018 show, her fellow models jokingly but not jokingly lowered their heads in reverency, one mumbling, “bow to the queen.” Present in more than a handful of Super Bowl commercials and probably even more fantasies than the VS Fantasy Bra, she has piercing blue eyes and a megawatt smile.
Makeup – Good red lip and LOTS of mascara. Products that can be both blush and lipstain are ideal! Another fan of “less is more,” she’ll go barefaced with lotion and shimmer powder/bronzer. Pro tip: Moisten eyeliner pencil to get a more precise line.
Skincare – Soak skin in pads dipped in ice cold coconut water
Hair – Avocado mask and flaxseed oil, once a week
Diet – Portion Control, Blackberries, blueberries, and steamed veggies.
Exercise – Jump Rope
Alessandra Ambrosio
Who Is She? I know we’re mad at Victoria’s Secret right now, okay? I KNOW. Their sizes don’t accommodate the average American woman, and their head of marketing could use a healthy dose of reality (or at the very least, a look at what is considered sexy these days). But just for one glimmering moment, I want the focus to not be on the politics, but rather on the girls who make the VS show so iconic. The TRUE Angels. Alessandra has been along for the ride since the dawn of Gisele and Adriana. Equally Brazilian, and equally beautiful, iffen you ask me (but no one did. Why are you here again?)
Makeup – Natural, with minimal color on cheeks and lips (lip balm with nude liner, or a two in one blush/lip product). Bronzer for a sun-kissed look, playful eyes on special occasions!
Skincare – Exfoliating Mask, toner, hydrating cream, vitamin C serum
Pro Tip – Sleep! Lots of it!
Candace Swanepoel
Who is She? VS Angel, but she’s different! She’s not Brazilian, she’s… South African.
Makeup – Cheek and Lip Stain (I’m noticing double-up products are a pattern!). Laura Mercier Eye Brow Pencil
Skincare – Body scrub of coconut oil, sugar, and coffee.
Hair – Coconut and Argan oil.
Diet – Beauty smoothie: coconut oil, flaxseed oil, banana, protein, some kind of antioxidant fruit like blueberries or strawberries or some nut butter. Avoids meat, prefers vegetarian
Destress – Yoga and meditation
Travel Tip – Brazil nuts and almonds (good for hair and nails), protein bars, and fruit are better than whatever the terminal food court has to offer.
Again, these were my MAIN homeskillets. Now let’s check out some other pro-tips from other models, past and present, and a brief few who can only be described as iCONic.
Lindsay Ellingson – Yoga! Inversions (where your legs are above your body and the weight lies on your arms) draws more blood to the face, creating a more flushed glow. Gabrielle Union – Drinks a gallon of water a day. Homegirl has not aged since “Bring It On,” so I believe it. Miranda Kerr – Uses a spoon instead of an eyelash curler. Aloe vera for your skin! Eats fresh berries, kale, cucumber, baby spinach and celery (possibly this was the contents of one juice. I didn’t write that down clearly. That’s on me). Kourtney Kardashian – Water water water! Sunscreen is a must. Tinted foundation is a never. Jaime King – Use your fingers when applying concealer. Adria Arjona – Use aloe on scars. Coffee, sugar and honey makes for a great monthly scrub. Lais Ribiero – Take your makeup off before bed and de-puff under eyes with cucumber mask 1x a week Julie Ann Luna – Use face masks RIGHT after a hot steamy shower to lock in moisture Rosie Huntington Whitley – Facial massages! Click HERE for how to do this right. Emily Ratajkowski – Use lipstick as blush.
Now it’s time for the specialist pro tip, or what I’m calling “A Smarter Person Would Have Written their Names Down but Once Again these are the Unsung Heroes who make the Genetically Gifted Hobos into Hotties and What They Say about Being Healthy.”
Makeup Tips
Loose powder — Finisher, dry shampoo, in between mascara coats
Lip balm — Use it as a highlighter, eye shadow softener, or a cream blush
Facial mist — Softens harsh lines or cakey texture
Bronzer — Sweep on both cheeks AND eyes for stronger but subtler glow
Clear Wax Brow Pencil — GREAT lip liner
Diet Ginger Tea – Grate a chunk of ginger into hot water, add honey and lime to taste.
Good foods – Tropical fruits like pineapple and papaya. Lean meats like poultry and high-fat fish. Veggies. Simple starches like rice, potatoes, and yams. Cucumber. Put it in water, eat it raw. CU. CUM. BER. Bad foods – Dairy, Alcohol, Packaged foods that suggest low fat/sugar. It’s a TRAP. Gluten and baked goods like bagels, muffins, and pastries should be avoided too. Ditto cereal, yogurt, chips, crackers, and soda. Just don’t have fun ever. You idiot.
Prepare to be shocked – Water.
Protein bars – Despite earlier advice, protein bars aren’t real.
It’s 50/50 sugar and fat. If you’re going to eat one, pick one that markets it honestly.
Additional Healthy Pro Tips
60 minutes of cardio 6 days a week will get you ready and raring to go.
Epsom Salt Bath – Pour 12 pounds of Epsom salt into a hot bath, then soak for twenty minutes. Wash off in cold water. Wake up without water weight. If you say so, sport.
Preparation H the night before on the back of your legs tightens skin
Biggest protein meal should be dinner, not breakfast/lunch.
While compiling this information, I also decided to give myself personal goals and mini-ideas on how to manifest these tips.
Lazy non productive days – no screens. Reading and writing and creativity. Eat what I want, but self care and no makeup is the priority (inspired by Emily Ratajkowski and Nina Dobrev).
Yoga in the mornings and the evenings, ten minutes each (inspired by Lindsay Ellingson).
Twelve days before the wedding: No dairy, bread, or alcohol. Avoid late night starches, too!
Go on a fitness quest — find classes nearby that I like. And I like:
Boxing
Tennis
Dance (I’d love to do ballet, hip hop… maybe even a bit of pole dancing and heels! Those always look so cool)
Rock Climbing
Cycling
Along with that, I want to try Pilates!
So what did we learn today?
Lean protein and veggies are your best friend. Dairy is your nemesis.
Dual action cheek and blush are your friends, too! But also, less is more. I met ya halfway there.
Oh, and also… don’t forget: WATER.
Like I said, I’ve been down this rabbit hole for a few weeks, so I can say that a face mask post shower feels glorious. I can also say that putting blush down your nose is a scam and you just look sunburned. I am unskilled but still learning.
There you have it! A brief, but mostly scam-free, resource on how to be as beautiful as runway models and Hollywood starlets. And in the end, isn’t that more important than accomplishing financial success and personal happiness?
Today is August 25! I’m headed into the final third of the year, and I thought I’d take a look at some of my New Year’s Resolutions and see how they’re coming along. I think that I’m still working on all of them, and I’ve made progress with all of them to a degree. Let’s see!
Do an unassisted pull-up: I’m getting there! I’m at 45 pounds assisted, and I can do about five.
Do a handstand: Marvin Clods. Glen Close. Not even close. I WANT to complete this by the new year, but I’m so close to my wedding that I’m scared to fall and break something. I’ll get back into this with the last two months of the year. We’ll see what happens!
Make mindfulness a regular practice: Better, but not great. I’m not meditating but I find myself focusing more on my choices and my actions. Self awareness. It’s a start but I agree it could be better.
Make style changes: Yes! High waisted bottoms, cute sneakers, and long cardigans to look casual but cute. Like Kendall Jenner but not a genetic lottery winner. It’s going great!
Do something new: If NOTHING ELSE — I ate gator this year. It was all right! I also did a SoulCycle class, and I’ve done spin before but not SoulCycle. It was fun but they don’t have it in Orlando yet! Rude. I’ve done a couple other things I haven’t done before too but quite frankly I can’t remember. I should have written down every time I did something new. I’ll be more cognizant the rest of this year. I’m going to Italy, does that count?
Take a Career Step: Yes, but no. I’ve told my supervisor directly that I want to move to the Golf Channel/TV corporation side of things, and he’s open to me making that transition by the end of the year! Hopefully I can get to that by the beginning of next year, so I can get my foot in and do some grunt work during the golf season of 2020 and the summer Olympics!
Go Stargazing: Not yet. I’ve looked at the stars and had a nice time, but I haven’t taken a night to just lie out with a blanket and think about life. That said, we’re moving to a nice neighborhood with lots of parks! Maybe a star-gazing date night is in our future.
So we’ve established: Dents have been made, but more damage is there to be done! Revisiting makes me more invigorated to keep working. Let’s do this like Brutus!
Britney Spears wrote “Toxic” about social media and this is an undisputed fact even though I’m pretty sure the closest thing society had to social media when that song was written was blogging (Update: Livejournal had been around for less than five years and Friendster was just beginning, and Myspace was founded in August of 2003).
I went on a deep dive of some of the people I follow on social media, and they’re all women living a more fabulous life than me. Beautiful, blonde, and living in chic homes in places with skin clearer than my future. At this point, I can’t tell if I’m following them in an aspirational way. I feel like when I see their posts, I just think “Wow, they’re so pretty and happy on the coast of France. I wanna be pretty and happy on the coast of France.” That doesn’t motivate me to go do work, it kind of just makes me feel sad that I’m not pretty and happy on the coast of France.
At what point do I clean out and only follow people that make me happy? I feel like if I pretend these people don’t exist, I’m living in ignorance. Contrariwise, being so focused on their presence is sucking the joy out of my scrolling.
I guess the bigger compromise would be that I spend less time scrolling through social media! That way, I spend less time on a screen, and that alone will decrease the amount of time that I see them. I’m trying to eliminate social media past a certain point in my day, as well as start browsing later. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve had to cut down my morning workout because I check my phone in the morning and lose track of time scrolling through Instagram and Twitter! I can be ready in ten minutes for the gym, but when I decide to scroll a little bit before brushing my teeth, I’ve been up for thirty minutes but still in my PJS!
I was definitely feeling the melancholy over the filtered perfection this weekend. I’m sure these women have their bad days where they don’t cry pretty tears or their makeup isn’t perfect. The catch-22 is that even when the girls display their bad days it comes off more performative than authentic. It feels more like they’re trying to compel their audience to lean in closer, you know? I have off days too! I’m just like you! Call me crazy, but while you were sitting in the back of a pickup truck on a spontaneous ride to a mountain waterfall, I was sitting in rush hour traffic. The average person doesn’t get to do that.
I guess I’m also envious that these girls have created this reality for them. They live in a world where they sleep till six so they can choose to watch the sunrise, then either go for a workout or make a nice meal. Sometimes they do both, and a yoga session, before settling down to start their work day at 9. I’d love an extra hour of sleep to get in a workout and show up for my workday with perfect hair and makeup. Even moreso, have no set start time with my day and just go wherever the breeze told me. Climb a tree or swim in the ocean and live only on island time, judging the hours in my day based on where the sun lies in the sky.
I want to be the working girl who gets things done, but I also want to live on the beach and just dream away the hours. I don’t know which one would fulfill me more! What I know for sure, though, is that looking at the girls who do live their lives like that certainly doesn’t fulfill me. Poison paradise indeed! It’s time I find a balance between dreams, reality, and chasing them at the right speed.
It’s a new month! I’m in for a busy end-of-summer. We’re moving to a new place, I have wedding appointments, and even tonight, I have to pack for a girls’ beach weekend! That said, it’s a great time for me to set some goals. I don’t mean goals in the sense of “Clean out my closet” (though I did that this weekend!) and “Go on a walk every day”. Those are great objectives, but in this context, I’m thinking more in the abstract.
Long-time woman-crush-Wednesday Alexis Ren shared some questions to ask yourself when setting intentions. They’re a good thing to reflect on every week to keep you motivated! I’d like to share those questions (and my responses) here:
What do I need today/this week/this month?
I need water and more sleep. I would like a healthier mindset (I’ve been engaging in a lot of negative self-talk lately)!
What do I want to manifest more of?
Kindness and serenity, both towards others and myself!
What do I need to do to continue my progress? Be empathetic, sympathetic, disengage from toxic environments.
What am I grateful for? I have a great family! I have wonderful friends! I have an amazing boyfriend who I love. I have access to clean water, a full fridge, and I take a car that I lease to a job I like. I am grateful for the privileges afforded to me in the Western world (“Kim, there’s people that are dying.”).
What do I need to/want to see more of in my life? I need to see more sleep and less sloth! I need stronger discipline so my time is managed better. Even now it’s 9:40 and I still have to pack my overnight bag! I should have done this earlier. It will get done, and that’s great, but it would be great if I could have been in my room by 9 and in bed by 10. I’ve been able to do that more lately, but I’d rather it be a full-on habit at this point!
What brings me joy/peace/serenity/etc? I experience joy when I get to be with Aaron. I feel peace at sunrise and night skies. Listening to music to end and begin my day impacts how I go about my routine!
What do I need to do to get closer to my goal? I think it helps to set realistic expectations. I can’t do five things after work, but I can do two or three. With better time management, I will get more done and get more Zzz’s. Discipline! Efficiency! Yes!
What is my body telling me? You are low energy and deserve more for your soul. Get better sleep. Have more fruit. Give yourself hugs and give other people smiles. It will go a long way for your own happiness!
What can I remind myself of today/this week? I am beautiful. I am safe. I am loved. I am grateful.
How will I feel if I implement more ___ in my life?
If I implement more time management tactics in my life, I will feel more confident in my capabilities and better rested. I work out plenty, my physical self is doing pretty well, to the point that it’s a well-oiled machine (even if the oil is occasionally just, you know, olive oil excess left in the wrapping paper of bread sticks). My mental self deserves her day!
What needs to change at this moment/time in my life? I’m relatively messy and post-work, I’m not very productive. I should work on maximizing my time up until 8 PM during the week. At 8PM I can turn on a show, browse the internet, and start unwinding, but I should try to accomplish some tasks (like read or doing the dishes) after dinner.
What do I need to prioritize?
My mental health! I need to rest easy in my mind. I will have a healthier mindset if I lay my head down to sleep knowing I can put my name on the previous day as a fine day’s work. If I can do that by 9:30, so much the better!
This was a great practice! I now have some decent ideas for this month:
Be in my bedroom by 9, in bed by 9:45 Sunday-Thursday. I can stay up a bit later Friday and Saturday, but on “work” nights, I turn in early!
Each day, accomplish two tasks, whether it’s cleaning, learning, or flexing a mental muscle through creative methods (reading and/or writing).
Social media curfew! No more browsing after 9 PM. I can turn on music while I get ready for bed, but at 8:59 the playlist is curated and the apps are closed. Sweet dreams for me!
I think just those steps will make a world of a difference. Next up: execution! Go!
I have always believed that routine is the core of discipline and success. I have been adding more go-to behaviors into my daily lifestyle to help establish a routine piece-by-piece. Here are a few of my basic favorites that I count on to get through the day!
My current wardrobe– similar to the style I indicated in a few fashion-related posts, I have been sticking with a solid color blouse, neutral pants, and a cardigan. It’s a convenient way to stay clean, casual, and comfortable. I can dress it down in jeans, or dress it up with accessories!
My favorite makeup– In keeping with my style, my makeup is neutral, clean, but pretty! I put on foundation (Fenty, of course) and blush (NARS Orgasm) on my face, as well as a few applications of mascara. I always use Anastasia BH eyebrow pencil on my eyebrows. I’ve found that eyebrows are key to framing my face (and looking awake!). I use a sparkly eyeshadow on the whole of my eyelid, in a shade that is a few hues golder than my natural skin tone. To add a bit more dimension, I put a near rose-gold color in my crease. This creates a natural looking smoky-eye. I top it all off with a NARS lip pencil (I’ve been basically going back and forth between Dolce Vita and Do Me, Baby), with a layer of chapstick beneath the color.
Workout routine– I have been flipping back and forth, keeping a balance of cardio and strength training. When I can afford to take more time, I’ll do a strength training routine and a 45-minute treadmill walk. If I have less than an hour (depending on working from home, a day off of work, or working in the office), I’ll flip between a strength training session or a treadmill run. I’ve been sticking to two rest days, but I think that I might adjust that to one rest day for the next three months, and bring it back to two rest days after the wedding. Every little adjustment counts!
Go-to snacks — I will now, and forever, sing the praises of Halo Top. It’s been my post-dinner treat almost every day for months! Knowing I can have a little sweetness at the end of dinner makes it easier to ignore the call of vending machine Reeses Cups. On an even healthier level, I have been enjoying parmesan cheese and Pink Lady apples! I find that all three are filling, low-calorie snacks that are good for my body and my soul. Seriously, next time you go to the supermarket, get some Pink Lady apples!
Early bedtime — I’ve been trying to get into the bedroom by 9 PM. By starting my routine then, I’m certainly in bed by 10 PM, and more often, asleep by 10 PM. Seven hours of sleep seems to hit me just right!
Face mask — I love a sheet mask as much as the next person, but lately, I’ve been going gold. Spa-scription has a gold wash off mask that makes me feel like a queen. It washes off after fifteen minutes, so I have time to finish the rest of my bed-time routine. All that’s left after rinsing the mask off is to apply my serum (vitamin-C filled for a glowing complexion), an under-eye gel, and chapstick. Boom! Bedtime for me.
Favorite meal — A huge money and time saver at dinner? Rotisserie chicken! Gone are my days of buying raw chicken, behold a full bird that can be the base of chicken tacos, chicken and couscous, and BBQ sandwiches. Aaron’s parents bought a rotisserie chicken to use for enchiladas and Aaron’s birthday dinner, as opposed to cooking it themselves. It added flavor and saved lots of time. Healthy and filling for sure!
Adding go-tos saves time and increases efficiency in my schedule. It feels good to add structure, bit-by-bit! This time next year I will be a well-oiled machine of discipline. It’s all part of the “fake it till you make it” lifestyle. The more billionaire habits I have, the sooner I’ll be a billionaire. Right? That’s how it works, right?
I’m always on the go! This time last weekend I was taking off from New York and headed back to Orlando for my 8AM workday Monday. Since then, I’ve been booked on another trip back in September, and there are now tentative (leaning towards affirmative, in my head) for another trip in November. Between that, Miami in September, Vermont in October, and my Italian sojourn in November, I’ll barely have time to be at home!
I haven’t met a person who doesn’t have at least some affinity for traveling. Sure, plenty of people have their grudges against airports, and we all have SOME “the person I sat next to on my flight was weird” story, but nothing beats a nice hotel with fresh, clean bed sheets.
I’ve been so many places in my life, and there’s still so many I want to go to at some point. Here’s a few places that top my list of where I want to go next (excluding spots on my Europe trip in November):
Paris. I’ve already been twice, but I only got a taste of everything. I took a picture in front of the Notre Dame, but I didn’t go inside of it. It’s a city of fashion, food, and art, and I truly only had about three days total for both trips. I want to enjoy a croissant inside a quiet corner cafe on a rainy morning. Is my Audrey Hepburn showing?
Australia. If reincarnation is a thing, I truly hope I am borne again as a blue-eyed blonde surfer from Melbourne. I would love to spend my mornings on the beach, only to take my surfboard out to catch waves until the sunset. I’ve never been to Australia but my inner-nature girl craves shark diving off the Great Barrier Reef and climbing mountains to get to waterfalls. I think I’d spend two or three days exploring Sydney, then just find a new beach or mountain to explore every other day before getting swallowed whole by a large snake or spider.
Bali. Every influencer is doing yoga in the jungle, eating acai bowls out of coconuts and enjoying salt-soaked serenity in Ubud. But retreats cost like five thousand dollars and the average Balinese citizen doesn’t have much and apparently doing that “healing in nature” thing doesn’t really help them. I still want to go, but I think I’ll wait until I can do it the way I want, and then matching the overall price of the trip into a charitable donation to an organization that will help their economy. Or maybe they LIKE their simplistic non-Tesla lifestyle? I don’t know, I haven’t thought it through.
Norway/Sweden/Finland. I want to do a whole Nordic fjord trip, travelling fjords through ice cap villages. I would love to see the Northern Lights!
Similarly…
Iceland! This narrowly missed the “honeymoon” choice. I want to visit the Blue Lagoon so much. There’s so much “neature” in Iceland. Very aesthetic.
Scotland. This one was another strong contender for the honeymoon! Aaron got to visit Scotland last year as his first foray into Europe with his family, and I’d love one of our next trips to be a return for him and a virgin voyage for me. I’ve done Ireland, England and Wales, but I missed Scotland. I’d love to visit Belfast, Glasgow and Edinburgh, but I really want to visit the Scottish Isles, too. It’s real “Desktop background” beauty.
Whistler. I was fortunate enough to go on a handful of ski trips when I was younger, but it was always in Colorado or Utah. They were great trips, but I’d love to go to Canada for my first “grown-up” ski trip. I want to visit all of Canada too! I’ve been to Vancouver once before briefly (too young to really remember), and I went to a concert in Montreal five years ago. I’ve still got plenty to see!
Stowe. Did I say ski trip? Did I say that I went to the University of Vermont but never went skiing? Embarrassing, I know. I went to Stowe to investigate the potential for hosting my wedding, but while it ended up not as my choice, it made me so happy to even walk the canvas. I could picture the smell of smoky air that would come from post-ski fire pits, where people would take off their skis and enjoy a hearty bowl of chili before heading back out to the slopes or heading back to their lodge for a dip in the hot tub. That’s what I remember most about my ski trips as a kid! Stowe is one of the best spots in the US to ski, so I better go get proof for myself!
Austin. I did a layover in Dallas for three hours once when I was little, but that’s the extent of my time in Texas. Aaron’s family is from Texas (and he was born and raised to the age of six in San Antonio), and they have fond memories of Tejano music and Big Red. Austin now has a great music scene, art, and some of the best barbecue you’ll ever have. Get me a cowboy hat and a nice horse to tend to, stat!
Switzerland. Picturesque mountains and Swiss chocolate. I don’t think I’d require much else in life to be happy, honestly!
I know I’ll get to all of these places one day. Who knows, maybe in ten years I can say I’ve been to all of these places! I’ve already seen so much of the world, and I’m so grateful. This list has barely scratched the surface, I haven’t even included my desire to see bio-luminescence! All I need is the money and the time.
My last post was on my 25th birthday. I’ve been 25 for almost a month. I haven’t written in almost a month.
Last week was my bridal shower, which went beautifully. I was surrounded by wonderful people and given lovely gifts for Aaron and I to fill our home. I am most excited about my new juicer and a honey pot shaped like an apple. Aaron is most excited for the espresso machine and counter-top herb garden. It was all light and feminine and I feel truly blessed.
This weekend, Aaron’s parents discussed the potential of us moving out of our current home to a house/townhome they’d buy to live in after we had been there for a year. Aaron was excited to decrease his commute and monthly rent. I was horrified at the idea of moving to the boonies and having a longer commute.
Aaron’s parents explained it as a deadline– be ready for our next career moves by the time they want to move in; we can move in whenever we want and pay less rent than we do now on our current house. I had mentally put myself on a deadline, but this makes it real. Sooner or later, I’m gonna have to walk the walk. I’m going to have to… do something to advance my career.
Me ignoring my responsibilities.
As a first step in making better decisions, I’m going to write every Sunday and Thursday.
Today let’s cover things I’m obsessed with right now!
TV SHOW: VEEP. I cannot believe I didn’t watch this show as it aired live, but I’m relieved I didn’t, because I’ve been binge watching like mad for the past week. It certainly allows me to relieve my own hostility between each character’s sharp insults. Selina Meyer is a terrible person and I would love to vote for her.
BOOK/CURRENT EVENTS: “Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup” by John Carreyrou. It’s the story of Elizabeth Holmes and the quick rise and even quicker collapse of Theranos. Elizabeth dropped out of Stanford to build a company that would completely revolutionize the health industry, eliminating the need for tubes of blood to make a diagnosis in exchange for a tiny finger prick put into an automatic blood analysis machine. She was backed by the nation’s ultimate economic, health, and military bigwhigs… and it was all a lie.
Elizabeth Holmes’ Fortune cover made her a star. Stars tend to burn bright… but they burn out, too.
MOVIE OBSESSION: I had been waiting to see “Midsommar” since I saw the first trailer about four months ago. It came out July 3 but I went to a 7PM screening the night before because I couldn’t wait. It was two and a half captivating hours. It’s been compared to “The Wicker Man” for being another example of cinematic folk horror, but I’m comparing it to “The Shining” in that both films succeed because they are so creepy. The whole movie has you on the edge of your seat because of how unsettling it is. There’s gore, uncomfortable nudity, and (unlike “The Shining”), a shocking opening scene that hits you RIGHT before the opening credits. The average viewer was chilled out of the ocean after seeing “Jaws,” and I guarantee “Midsommar” will make you second guess your next trip to the Nordic region.
This movie is beautiful and confusing. People in unstable relationships beware.
Last one:
BEAUTY PRODUCT: “Orgasm” blush by NARS. My cousin told me to get it YEARS ago, calling it an “essential”. At the time, I agreed! Then contouring became all the rage and I was terrible at applying blush so I ended up never using it again. My mom had it in her cosmetic shelf and I threw some on before my bridal shower, and it truly gave me a youthful glow. I bought it again the other day and I cannot wait to use it! I’m hoping it’ll wake up my complexion more so I look more alert during the work day.
Today is my 25th birthday. More specifically, at 11:30 PM (just half an hour from now), I will be 25 years old.
I’ve heard playful references to a “quarter-life” crisis hitting at 25, and I can’t say I don’t feel the vibes of it! I don’t look at it as a sudden awareness of my mortality, or a worry that my life is over before it’s even started. I think about it more in terms of a celebration of what is to come.
At 25, I’ve barely started my career. I haven’t gotten married, become a billionaire, and started a happy adorable family. That’s what success looks like, or at least the American Dream, right? I don’t know anyone who’s hit all of those checkpoints at 25, so suffice it to say, I’m certain my best years are still ahead of me.
This hit me in a wave on Sunday, when Aaron took me to a fancy restaurant for a pre-birthday birthday dinner. They were told that there was a “birthday” in our party, so they asked my name before seating us. When I said “My name is Mallory,” they replied, “Happy birthday, Valerie!”
Great songs aside, I get this a lot. Valerie, Melanie, Melody, Molly, I’ve heard every mispronunciation and seen every misspelling you can imagine. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t bother correcting people, and I’m certainly not offended by it by any stretch. You don’t meet many Mallorys, and according to my parents, I was not named after the character from “Family Ties,” they wanted to name me after my great grandfather Morris, and the name “Melissa” just didn’t feel right.
I last wrote about redefining expectations, and I think that my expectations are so ambivalent because I have two diverged dreams of what I want: I want to be that IT woman, the Anna Wintour-esque powerhouse type who has the corner office that gets written about in Forbes. I want to take NBC by the hand and lead it into the world of streaming digital media.
And then there’s another part of me who, if given thirty million dollars, would want to pay off my student debt, donate some of it to charity, and then go move to Australia and just eat fruit and surf all day. I went surfing once and I liked it, but I’d love to learn now and actually stand up on the board. Then I’d walk onto the shore and up to my beachfront house that has WiFi in every room and a coconut tree out back.
I think as far as mid-life crises go, being torn between two ideal universes is pretty mild-mannered.
Rather than focus on the potential, I want to focus back on the present. I didn’t have a big ostentatious party to celebrate my birthday, but I had an office of colleagues and work friends decorate my desk, sing me “Happy Birthday,” and bring me cake and pie and smoothies and balloons. I received a flurry of texts and messages wishing me happy birthday. Voicemails were left, as were letters and mail packages.
I genuinely don’t remember what I did for my 24th birthday, but I think I’ll remember today. The love I felt and the gestures I received made my heart feel so full.
Between the gifts and the well-wishes, I felt very grateful for the life I have. My family is kind, my friends are thoughtful, and the people in my space are open-minded with warmth in their hearts. It makes me want to hug the whole planet! If my life is this good now, at 25, I can only imagine what kind of life I will have when I hit that “mid-life crisis.”
After they had taken my “name” at the restaurant, they took a photo of Aaron and I, framed it, and wrote “Happy Birthday, Valerie!” in pretty calligraphy. It serves as a firm reminder to me of what I want from my future:
At 25, I am too quiet to correct someone who mispronounces my name. At 50, every room I enter will be one where everyone knows my name.
To the world, my friends, my family: thank you for a wonderful birthday, and a wonderful first 25 years. Let’s see what happens in the next 25!
