Category: Having it All

My 2020 Intentions — A Check In!

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Only three days left in the first month of the new decade! It’s been a weird first month, and I’m eager to see how February goes.

Here’s a status update on each of my 2020 “Intentions”:

1. Read 52 books. On my way! I’ve read three books this month, and I would like to read two between now and the end of this week. I’m thinking a monthly book club post can be expected soon regardless.

2. Do pull ups. I’m able to hang a bit, and pull myself up slightly. Aaron provided some truly excellent feedback about the targeted muscles of the pull-up, which really made a difference this past week. To that point, Aaron thinks that my goal isn’t all that lofty, since he previously went from doing zero to seventy pull ups in three months. I think compounding with a hand-stand goal balances me out, though!

3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING. In general, I think I’m doing slightly better. I scroll less when I’m with other people, but I still find myself refreshing my Twitter and Instagram feed way too frequently for my liking.

4. Write 104 blog posts. This will be my eighth post in the new year. Making progress!

5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021. The Gods (or rather, my mother) have smiled upon me– mission accomplished! A special offer inspired my mom to book a cruise for the end of the year. It’s not in the exact time-frame enumerated above, but I’m okay with that! It’ll still feel like a good way to celebrate being together for the holidays on a romantic adventure.

6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude. This resolution had several very specific targets. I haven’t indulged in one of them, but I’ve grazed two and full-on consumed another. One of my “grazes” made me feel uncomfortable, so I think I’m halfway there. If I can stop with the full-on consumption of that “another” in February, I will feel much better.

7. Take better care of my skin. I’ve been better about washing my face! I also discovered that I should be using my face wash on my shoulders. Hopefully that will help expedite my progress for clean skin all over, and not just what my coworkers will see!

8. Go stargazing. I haven’t set a date for this yet, but I did slow down on my morning walk to the gym this morning because the sky was just that breathtaking. Stars really are something. I might wait for a good stargazing night, like an eclipse or a meteor shower. Then again, maybe not!

9. Get a new job. I’ve been working with a coworker from a different department to get her accustomed to the website platform. It’s been great! The more she learns, the better the transition will be when I leave. I have a meeting with my supervisor for next week where we can hopefully discuss opportunities further. Meanwhile… customers have made me feel hostile, depressed, and hopeless. That only motivates me to leave even faster.

theofficedesperate
Image from Tenor. “Chair Model.” The Office. NBC. 17 April 2008.

10. Do a handstand. I’ve practiced a few times at the gym against a wall, but I definitely feel unnerved by the process. I feel like people are staring (and by that I mean a single person. Because it’s the gym. At five in the morning. And some weirdo is leaning her potato body against a wall while kicking upside down and trying to stay upright). I need to work on my confidence!

11. Go see two of my favorite performers. Boy oh boy, did this go downhill. Of the performers I mentioned last time (John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, Ali Wong, Billie Eilish, Ariana Grande, and Panic! at the Disco), only two of them are doing tours this year. Billie’s concert tickets are way too expensive, and Ali’s tour dates do not include Florida.

Image from GIPHY. “In Care Of.” Mad Men . 23 June 2013.

I may reevaluate this resolution, and try to (on one of my trips to New York this year) see “Hamilton” and “Dear Evan Hansen,” both of which are Broadway shows I’ve been wanting to see for years.

12. Lose weight. I lost a few, gained some, and now I think I’ve found something that may work long-term (for REAL this time). I hope it does!

13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday. I still have time to plan this, but I keep a list of presents to get him in my phone to add to whenever he says he wants something. Hopefully in two months we’ll have an idea of what he wants for his birthday. I’d like to surprise him with something special!

14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter, and granddaughter. I’ve talked more in depth with my friends and siblings this year. I talk to my parents way less than I should, and I haven’t spoken to my grandparents once this month (I may have left a single voicemail). That is positively embarrassing. I’m ashamed.

15. Be happy. Well, after reading that last item, I’m not very happy! I guess it’s a good thing, because if I have nothing to show for the end of next month I’ll feel even worse, and I don’t want that. But in general I’ve enjoyed this month a lot more than I enjoyed the previous month. Having the kittens around has made a world of a difference.

And that’s January! There’s still time for me to read and speak to my grandparents. I really don’t have an excuse, do I? Onward and upward!

Stitches in Time

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Sundays and Wednesdays are my laundry days each week. Today while folding my clothes, I decided to put together all my gym outfits for the week to save me some time in the morning! Thus, next to me right now are five pairs of workout pants, sports bras, tank-tops, and socks… color coordinated, I might add!

With that, I thought I’d share a few of my other favorite time-savers. Take a look to see what helps me get things done quicker to keep me on task and on time!

  1. Five Minute Makeup Routine: If I’m trying to get to work a tad early, I only apply the following makeup products: foundation, eyebrow pencil, and mascara. While it’s not the most glamorous look I could pull off, it gives me polished skin and sharp eyes. I have started prepping my face with a swipe of Vaseline to my lips daily to keep them hydrated as well. I look alert and prepared (or, as a person who shouldn’t share their negative opinions would say, not “tired” or “sick”).
  2. Pick up a prepped meal at the grocery store. During the week, I tend to go food shopping one time to get all my meal ingredients for the week. That said, I’ll typically pick up sushi for Aaron and I to enjoy dinner that night (or, if they’re on sale, a Floridian delicacy: the “Pub Sub”). Less time cooking AND a healthier meal to enjoy? Win-win!
  3. Saving solutions for future problems. This one comes in handy at work! Sometimes we’ll be given a problem that needs solving that neither I, nor my coworkers, have ever seen. My tenacity tends to kick in during these situations and I’ll work tirelessly to find a solution. When I’m able to figure it out, I’ll save every step of my solution in my computer. In case the problem isn’t a wacky one-off, or comes back later, I won’t spend an extra twenty minutes racking my brain trying to remember what/how I solved it the last time!
  4. Chunking my “self-care.” Hair styling, exfoliating, face masks… I’m in for every kind of special treatment I can treat myself to on a regular basis. However, if I were to do these every night, or even all on the same night, I’m in trouble! I tend to dedicate my evening routine to one or two “self-care” treatments. I space out the occasions evenly through the week, so I can treat myself accordingly twice (exfoliate Monday/Friday, style my hair Sundays and Wednesdays, you get the idea). I feel clean and taken care of every day for just that half an hour each night.
  5. Scrolling curfew. I know, this isn’t technically a time-saver, but it’s a time rearrange concept, and that’s just as effective! If I go to bed with my phone in hand, I guarantee you I’ll spend another half hour browsing Twitter Instagram, Pinterest… random Google searches are pretty frequent, too! I put my phone in its charger around 9:30 each night, ensuring I’m asleep by ten at the latest. Turns out, with the screens away, I’m pretty sleepy!

Time management, time saving techniques, whatever you call it, I think everyone can agree, when you’re using your time effectively, you’re better equipped to do your best! How do you save time during the week?

Adventures in Parenting… a Prequel

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As I write this, I have an orange little kitten sitting on my chest, while his equally small calico sister looks at my typing fingers from behind the back of my computer.

That’s right– we’ve adopted cats.

Aaron has wanted us to get cats for a while now, but between the wedding and the honeymoon and the holidays we wanted to wait until after the new year. Sure enough, not even two weeks into 2020, we had an appointment with a foster family.

At a work associate’s football party (to celebrate the holidays AFTER the holidays), Aaron struck up a conversation about adopting cats with a coworker who had recently adopted. She introduced him to the foster mom who had adopted out a cat to another coworker of ours. Aaron discovered she was fostering a family of newborn cats, three of them calico (which had especially piqued Aaron’s interest, after raising a calico on his own). He filled out an adoption application at the table right then and there, and scheduled a meet and greet three days later.

I was nervous, to say the least. Obviously, I wanted to provide the best life for the cats, and I was scared I wouldn’t be that person. Aaron was reassuring, promising that if things didn’t feel right at our Meet and Greet, we wouldn’t take them home.

That Saturday, we drove to the other side of town and met the foster mom, who led us into her nursery of the “Reindeer family” (being that it was the holiday season, each of the seven cats and their birth mother were named after Santa’s reindeer). I was overwhelmed by how little they all were. As the foster explained that her goal was to adopt out each cat in pairs, or at least into a family with a cat, Aaron found himself being swarmed by small kittens (roughly two months old at the time). I sat down near him, not wanting to crowd him or overwhelm the kittens in the room. Several of them immediately took to Aaron, but it was taking longer for them to warm to me.

Eventually, one of the girls made her way over to me. She circled a few times, then eventually jumped into my lap and crawled up to snuggle by my feet. My heart swelled. This was my girl.

Not long after, her brother came over to me after snuggling with Aaron to see what the fuss about me was. Aaron looked over at me, with a lap full of cats, and said, “Okay. that answers our question. Where do we sign?”

I sat in the back with the two in a carrier as we made our way home. That weekend was filled with smiles, photos, and a few really nice cat naps.

That was a week ago. We’ve since changed their “Reindeer Names” of Comet and Prancer to Jake and Rosa, and they have since learned our master bathroom is their bedroom and that the closet is a treasure trove that MUST NOT BE DISCOVERED NO MATTER HOW INTRIGUING IT LOOKS. They like listening to music, watching Youtube, and they love playing with their catnip flavored mouse plushies and a crinkly slice of pizza (enjoying pizza by themselves in a corner. They are truly family).

And yes, their names were chosen based on the characters of Jake Peralta and Rosa Diaz from “Brooklyn Nine Nine.” I got a video clip of the two snuggling on my Peacock pillow watching “The Office.” They are being taught early that we’re an NBC family.

My life has been filled with new responsibilities, challenges, and adventures in raising and taking care of a living being. It has been tiring, calming, and truly loving at times. We’ve started this ritual of me turning on quiet music while I wash my face at the end of the night to signal to them that it’s bedtime. They are so smart and so aware, and I was not prepared for how curious and troublesome they can be (they just want to experience and chew on… everything).

I am so happy and so in love, even if they like to step on my keyboard while I write (and gnaw on my fingers at any opportunity. I’ve learned to wear my slippers at all times so they don’t nibble my feet). Soon they’ll be mature enough to walk around the house without supervision! Until then, I am happy to keep them close to my heart. Literally. Did I mention Jake is on my chest right now?

Both cats have fallen asleep nestled against me while typing tonight, but they have since stirred and decided on one last bout of playtime before bed. That means it’s time for the skin routine and soft music.

Goodnight, world. Goodnight, Jake and Rosa. Welcome to our little family.

 

5 Ways to Set Yourself Up For Failure

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We are in week 3 of the new decade, and everywhere I look, the promise and hope of my friends and loved ones have vanquished into disparity. I’ve seen this tweet shared more than once:

Not great, Bob! I myself have fudged on a few resolutions. But that’s okay! “The Office” had a great episode about New Year’s Resolutions (more sitcoms/TV series should have a New Years Resolution plotline. That’s a whole other story!) with this line: “It’s not about being perfect, it’s about trying.” To me, trying is the best way to succeed! It’s when you DON’T try that you fail.

Which leads me into my main thesis:

5 WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE

Don’t feel attacked by this list! Everyone, especially me, struggles with this at some point. If any of these apply to you, know I have a solution!

  1. Lie to yourself. When you start letting yourself off the hook at the slightest inconvenience, phoning it in instead of giving your all, and you need a grappling hook to climb that mountain of excuses, you slowly begin that descent into “Meh.” There will always be tough days– you’re sick, you’re exhausted, there’s traffic that throws off your whole schedule. Plan for that to happen, and let “life” be the only thing standing in the way.
  2. Set unrealistic expectations. If your goal is to lose weight, with the plan being to skip meals like it’s a crack on the sidewalk until you’re a size two, you are in for a painful ride. Here’s the good news: that ride is temporary, because you will snap and eat an entire pack of Oreos and be back at square one, filled with regret and shame. If you want to achieve your goals, you can! But start small. Getting back to the weight loss goal: say no to dessert every other night. Go to the gym once a week. Baby steps will get you running marathons!
  3. Procrastinating. This feels like a no-brainer! When you put off completing a task until later, “later” gets further and further away until you’ve put yourself in crunch time. And hey, there’s a difference between being lazy and “thriving under a deadline.” I’m all for the theatre of the latter, but always remember the end of my first point: life will happen. Computers die. Office birthday cake gets served. If you put it off once, you will put it off again… and again… and again!

    procrastination
    “Kim Possible.” Disney.
  4. Running on an empty tank. It feels good to succeed and make progress! You’ll want to feed that feeling as much as possible. That’s great, but proceed with caution! Taking time to breathe is just as important as the work you accomplish. You can enjoy a day off, a Netflix binge, or a monthly happy hour with your friends. Cabin fever murders aside, all work and no play DOES make Jack a dull boy. You can certainly stop and smell the roses on the journey! Maybe you’ll even want to plant a few yourself. Take a moment, a day, to express gratitude towards yourself. Breathe in, breathe out, then keep going.
  5. Giving up too early. The only failure is failing to try. If you attempt to complete your tough goals but quit after two days, you’ve wasted your time and energy for literally nothing. What you are doing isn’t supposed to be comfortable! You should be challenged by your resolutions/tasks. Settle outside your comfort zone and do the work. Remember why you’re here. Motivation will come and go, but that doesn’t mean your goals should be just as flimsy. Work hard, and stick with it! The results WILL come.

There you have it! Five ways to set out on a short, fruitless journey towards fulfilling your dreams. To make it past these issues, I have but one suggestion: try. I believe in you! You can do it!

 

My 2020 Intentions

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Happy New Year, world! Welcome to the roaring twenties. I’m going to KEEP SAYING IT, because as I’ve stated before, I love the glitz and glamour and Gatsby of it all… minus the massive Depression that followed. If we could hold off on that this time around that’d be great, because I don’t think I can handle that.

This time last year, I provided my biggest resolutions for 2019. Like most people, I really did NOT do a great job on them. I decided to include some of them in this year’s resolutions, though. The only failure is failure to try, right?

In 2019, these were my goals:
1. Do an unassisted pull-up.
2. Do a handstand.
3. Make mindfulness a regular practice.
4. Make style changes.
5. Do something new.
6. Take a Career Step.
7. Go stargazing.

So, how did I do?
1. Do an unassisted pull-up – did not happen, but I did get close! I have included this in my 2020 resolutions. This is the YEAR OF THE PULL-UP.
2. Do a handstand – did not happen. I still want to accomplish this, but my focus is pull-ups.
3. Make mindfulness a regular practice – I accomplished this to a degree, but not as much as I’d like. I found myself taking moments to ground myself and enjoy silence when I needed it, but I wasn’t meditating for five minutes every day.
4. Make style changes – Mission accomplished, mostly? I changed up my style a bit in the past year, but not dramatically so. In a later entry I’m going to compare my style post from last year to my current closet. I think this is ongoing, as my body and tastes change, and I didn’t include this in my 2020 resolutions. I definitely did a lot less “phoning it in” in how I dressed!
5. Do something new – Ate gator, pistachio gelato, and multiple different kinds of ultra hot sauce. Held a lizard and a snake, posed with an albino gator. Traveled to Italy, France, and Greece. Got this done, fo’ sho.
6. Take a Career Step – I took bebe steps to this. My workload was massive in the first half of the year, but it gave me a great opportunity to learn more, and do more, within my position. The second half of the year, things calmed down, but at the same time, my life was consumed with the wedding, honeymoon, and family gatherings. Between ALL of it, though, I sat down with my supervisor and discussed my goals for this upcoming year. I have loved the position I have now but I’m ready for something new, go after the real career I want. Thankfully, my boss is supportive and has helped me with this process, but again, it’s been baby steps. I’ve made this a top resolution for the new year.
7. Go stargazing – Mission KIND OF accomplished. On our honeymoon, Aaron and I walked the ship at night and he pointed out different constellations. Turns out he’s really into astronomy! We were only outside for a few minutes though, because it was freezing and I needed to go inside. I’d love to take a night to do that with him, just us, a picnic blanket, and the stars. I see a starry date night in our future… just maybe when it’s warmer!

So, where does that leave us for this year?

Behold, my 2020 Resolutions!

  1. Read 52 books – Last year, I pointedly did not make book-reading a goal, and with that, I actually think I read more this past year than I did in a while! I want to set a target goal of reading one new book a week. I’m going to monitor this goal by doing a “book review” at the end of the month to discuss each book I read that month. And yes, week 1 is already complete 😉
  2. Do pull ups – I really want to do it! I’m hoping that my ability to pull myself up will inform my ability to push myself up into a handstand, but if not, that’s okay. Apparently if you can do one pull-up, you can do more than one pull-up. Let’s see how that goes!
  3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING – Holy heckin’ bob, I spend so much time on my phone! Everyone and their mother has an opinion on how much I’m on my phone. I’ve honestly watched so much time fly while mindlessly liking photos on Instagram. I need to get out of other people’s lives/digital media footprint.
  4. Write 104 blog posts – Two entries a week seems reasonable, right? I’ve started mentally planning an entry for each week this month. Very excited to be consistent and track my year’s worth of thoughts, ideas, and goals!
  5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021 – Those dates may vary, but I want to take the last “week” of the year off of work. I want to leave work before Christmas Eve and not come back until the new year! At the top of my list is a trip to Vermont to have a snow-covered Christmas, and then go skiing for the rest of the year. My mom has also been contemplating taking my siblings, Aaron and I on a cruise in the tropics at the end of the year. If my mom wants to treat us to an end-of-the year Bahamas trip, whomst am I to refuse? That said, I saw photos of Amsterdam all lit up for Christmas and it looked very romantic, and I also considered the idea of going back to London with Aaron, and doing a few days in Scotland before ringing in the new year by Big Ben. How special would that be? So, ideas! Intention! Execute!
  6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – This feeds into item 3, but a part of me secretly loves when people on social media I don’t like get their comeuppance or get called out for being terrible. It’s just bad karma. I like “tea” as much as the next person, but I don’t think it needs to dominate my brain as much as I let it now!
  7. Take better care of my skin – Maybe it’s end of the year holiday food, maybe it’s just not showering RIGHT after a workout, but dang, I have serious acne on my shoulders right now! Boo! Didn’t ask for that! Thankfully I don’t have terrible facial acne, but I have scars that are just… unconcealable. I want to spend more of my hard-earned money on self-care, in the form of facials and massages. Calmer muscles = calmer skin. Also water.
  8. Go stargazing – I’m honestly embarrassed I didn’t do this last year. I went to a holiday party during which a friend and I discussed bioluminescence kayaking, which is when you go out kayaking at night in a place where the water looks like this:
    bioluminescent_plankton-click link for sourceI think sparkly seas and sparkly skies is an ideal date night. Except Aaron isn’t a big fan of open water. I’ll figure this out, somehow!
  9. Get a new job – This is a MUST for this year. I love my coworkers and enjoy designing/revising websites, but I’m ready for something more. It’s time to move forward in a new position, and I will have one by the end of the year.
  10. Do a handstand – PULL UPS FIRST, then handstand! I think once I have the upper body strength I’ll be in good shape, the handstand true difficulty comes with the mental part of it. Balancing my whole body weight on my lil’ hands? Mind over matter!
  11. Go see two of my favorite performers – Stand up? Music? Either or works! Depending on who is touring (and where), I want to see John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, Ali Wong, Ariana Grande, Panic! at the Disco, or Billie Eilish. I’ll go on my own if that’s what it takes, but if John Mulaney is coming to Boston and I am FORCED to go see my best friends in Boston and go with them, I will do what is needed.
  12. Lose weight – I have a specific number in mind, a goal weight that I want to achieve. You don’t need to know that, though! They’re my numbers and no one needs to match my standards. I think weight loss is a common goal for people in the new year; that said, in today’s increasingly body-positive world, wanting to lose weight has negative connotations. I am all for celebrating yourself and loving the skin you’re in, but I definitely feel uncomfortable in my body lately. By scientific standards, I am obese right now (yikes). I’ll share when I’ve accomplished getting down to a healthy weight, and when I’ve reached my number, in reference to keeping up with my goals. I won’t share any numbers, but know that I’m doing this for me and not because society is making me.

    TheOfficeIDontEvenConsiderMyselfPartOfSociety
    Image from Pinterest. “Women’s Appreciation”. The Office. NBC. 3 May 2007.
  13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – Last year, his birthday fell by the wayside between family events and being sick. He had his birthday dinner and got great presents, but we had planned on going to Universal and that didn’t happen! I want to make sure that for his 26th birthday, I go all out and give him the works. He deserves it.
  14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter, and granddaughter – I feel like this past year I was so absent, like I let things happen to me and didn’t really take actions for myself. With that, I heard my friends, but I didn’t always listen. I let Aaron vent but didn’t soak up what he said. I felt drained, so I didn’t spend a lot of time with my siblings nor my parents in a meaningful way. They did so much for me this past year, but I don’t know how my mom is doing. I don’t know what my brother wants to do with his life. Apparently my dad has taken up medicinal marijuana? What dimension is this? On top of that, I should call my grandparents more. I just should. It wasn’t consistent acts of selfishness, I just recognized that I could be better. I want to take better care of myself this year, but also take better care of my relationships with the people I love. This year, and every year, I will do better. I think if I accomplish all of these things, I will complete my biggest 2020 resolution:
  15. Be happy – In 2020 I will accomplish my goals, both personally and professionally. I will live a life of love and chose love every time.

 

At the end of each month, I will post my status/progress on each of these goals! I feel good about all of them, and I think this will be a good year for me. My brain keeps saying “Don’t jinx it!” To my brain I say “Stop second guessing yourself! Embrace the good! Go fold your laundry, it’s been in the dryer for three days!”

Happy New Year. Let’s make it a good one 🙂

End of Year Favorites

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As I write this, I am seven hours and five minutes away from the new year. The new decade. It’s the new century’s roaring twenties.

With that in mind, I thought I’d compile a list of my favorite things from 2020! Let’s get right to it:

Favorite Movie: Us. I saw a lot of great movies this year, but Us is the one that has stayed with me the longest. Jordan Peele’s follow up to Get Out, Us is the story of a family that encounters their dopplegangers while enjoying the family lake house over summer vacation. I would recommend it to anyone who can tolerate mild horror elements, since it’s really more thriller than horror. Lupita Nyong’o was a FORCE in this movie. I had never been so captivated by a performance, except maybe Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman in Black Swan. She was not given a Golden Globe nomination for her role, which I find a DISGUSTING snub. DIS.GUS.TING.

Favorite Music: When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? by Billie Eilish. She’s barely eighteen years old, and she’s already created one of the most iconic songs of a decade. This is Billie’s second album, after her first album Don’t Smile at Me in 2017, which contained songs mostly wrote entirely by Billie and her older brother Finneas. Her voice ranges from being “spooky little girl” (in All the Good Girls Go to Hell) to “lilting angel” (in Everything I Wanted). She has a sense of humor about herself and the way the media portrays her (and women in general). I hope she keeps that belief in herself (which definitely is rooted in Finneas, who deserves just as much as credit), because she has one of the most unique voices in the industry right now. Here’s my favorite song from this album:

Favorite TV Show: This is tough! I have a tie. Both of these shows started before 2019, technically, but I only got into them this year.
Schitt’s Creek – What if that reality TV family lost ALL their money, except a tiny two-street town in the middle of nowhere bought ironically years prior? That’s this show. Comedy icon Eugene Levy co-created the show with his son Dan, and they play father-and-son within the series (former video store CEO Johnny and stylish do-nothing David, respectively). Filling out the family is Annie Murphy as David’s ditzy sister Alexis and the truly incomparable Catherine O’Hara as former soap opera star Moira. Their adjustment from riches to rags in a podunk town is charming, sentimental, and at times, rolling on the floor funny. After watching this show, you will never pronounce the word “baby” the same way.

YOU – Were we surprised? I’m gonna say it: it’s not “quirky” or “weird” to be into serial killer/stalker/murder shows. In fact, I think it’s more weird now to not be into them. Unless you’re my mom. In which case, don’t worry. You’re great. I love you! Penn Badgley stars as Joe Goldberg, a leveled up version of Badgley’s character in Gossip Girl, Dan Humphrey. It’s a classic love story… boy meets girl, gets obsessed with her, manipulates his way into her heart and rids any obstacles on their path to happily ever after by any means necessary. The true love story, however, is on Twitter, where former fans of Tate Langdon and Zac Efron’s version of Ted Bundy discuss how much they love Joe… much to Penn Badgley’s horror.

Favorite Podcast: Office Ladies! Oh my goodness oh my goodness. Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey (AKA Pam Beesly and Angela Martin from The Office) have started a podcast discussing The Office, providing fun facts and behind-the-scenes secrets about each episode. They’re only about ten or so episodes in, but listening to this podcast on my way to work in the morning is an absolute highlight of my week! There’s only been a few moments where I can say “Oh, I knew that,” in reference to their trivia (being a die-hard Office fan as it is), and hearing all new production notes just makes it more special. It’s like watching the show for the first time all over again!

officeladies

Favorite Book: “Never Play Dead” by Tomi Lahren. I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY! A bleeding red-state Conservative nightmare who hates all things peace and love? You read HER book?! You gave her money?! And LIKED it?!
michaelscottI know! Believe me, I know. But also…

Tomi Lahren was fired from her job at “The Blaze” for speaking her mind about a controversial opinion to have in her world: being pro-choice in a pro-life political affiliation. Since then she has won a wrongful termination lawsuit and now works as a Fox News correspondent. She is one of the most discussed political commentators right now, and with good reason. Her fiery rants are very intimidating! But then you ask yourself: is she intimidating, or are you intimidated?

Truth be told, Tomi Lahren is a strong woman with an even stronger work ethic. To read in her book that she was always the odd girl out (and never, say, the cheerleader or the prom queen) was very surprising, as was her past history with abusive relationships and an eating disorder (aren’t all pretty blonde Republicans just naturally thin without trying?). I don’t agree with Tomi on a lot of things. But I am all for radiating the confidence of a much smarter, more self-assured woman.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from her book:
“When I look myself in the mirror, I ask: What did I do today to get me closer to what I want to achieve?”

“When you own your sh*t, you reach a different level. It’s also really healing to recognize your poison and when you are standing in your way.”

“The truth is this: you are magic—with or without ‘likes.'”

Favorite Place: Monaco. I have made many mistakes in my life. I’ve said the wrong thing, I’ve sabotaged myself, I’ve hurt others and in turn, they hurt me. Every bad decision has been worth it, because every choice I made led me to be on the top deck of the Celebrity Constellation on October 31 to see this view of Monaco at night. The picture doesn’t do it justice, so hopefully, you can imagine.

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No filter on this Monaco mountain.

Favorite Food: Pistachio gelato. Tried it for the first time in Sicily. Combined it with Nutella gelato. The best food on this earth. Get away from me if you disagree.

venicegelato

Favorite Skin Care Product: Cosrx Acne Pimple Master Patches. I’ve never seen a miracle product work in such a way. Buzzfeed told me to try them eighty times, and I didn’t believe them until my cousin Stephanie vouched for them. I kid you not, if you catch a pimple two days before an event, slap on one of these bad boys before you go to sleep each night. It will be easily concealed by makeup after night one, and completely gone by night two. If you’re gross, you’ll see the buildup of whitehead ickiness when you take the patch off in the morning. It feels like vindication.

Buy yours here!

Favorite Make-Up Product: Ardell Individual Knot-Free Lashes. Last December, I had my makeup trials for the wedding. My MUA, Jamie Dragon (literally Miss Vermont several years ago) applied these lashes to my eyes and they stayed there for a full two weeks after I got back. After the wedding, I pulled my last lash off when washing my face one night on my honeymoon. Boom. Because I am the way I am, I have tried and failed twice to put them on myself, but I bought them again this past week to practice and get good at it. Guarantee you’ll feel like a new person with these lashes!

Buy yours here!

Favorite Moment of 2019: You’re gonna be surprised: the entire day of my wedding was my favorite moment of 2019. From being told the wedding was going to be outdoors, to the John Lennon quote during the ceremony, to looking at all my friends and feeling so grateful for all of them during dinner that night, to spinning around like a princess to “Dancing Queen” by Abba. Every second of that day, even the stomach pains from eating too much cheese, was perfect. That said, I’ll also share this honest moment of love from the honeymoon:
Aaron and I were supposed to go into Kotor on our cruise. However, the day of that disembarkation, the seas were too rough for us to make port. We were forced into another day at sea, on a day too windy to enjoy the pool or sunning ourselves on the Dalmatian coast. That said, Aaron and I made a decent day of it. Along with that, our stateroom attendant had provided us a complimentary bottle of wine to celebrate our wedding. Aaron and I stared out at the Game of Thrones like mountains while drinking red wine like Cersei Lannister. Aaron took this photo of us in the rainy wind that day.

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It’s silly, and one moment of a million great moments of that trip, and our whole year, but I’m going to always remember that moment as being so perfect that I actually enjoyed the taste of the red wine (which, as anyone can tell you, is saying something, because most wine makes my tongue sad).

I have had a truly wonderful 2019, full of twists and turns and moments of love. I’m so happy and thankful for this year, and this entire decade.

Now let’s roar these twenties.

Two major holidays later…

Posted on by maljoylove

It is December 28, 2019. In four days, we’ll be in a new year, and a new decade. There’s so much to reflect upon, so much to consider from the past year, past ten years, but all I can think about is how awful I feel.

I’ve had chest pains all week. My stomach has been feeling nauseous for the entire day, and I’ve had a headache for three days.

Maybe it’s from all the holiday food. Maybe it’s from not drinking enough water. Maybe it’s because I’m approaching my “moon cycle.” All three?

No. I have a more likely idea.

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I went to the gym and did the most hardcore workout I’ve done in a while yesterday. So imagine waking up with a stomach ache, a headache, and then rolling to the bathroom and realizing that your legs are like cemented to the ground out of soreness. That’s what I get for doing weighted squats for the first time in a year.

Not a great day, but just as well, because the new season of YOU came out on Netflix on Thursday, and I had to wait until last night to start it. Ten episodes later and I am so eager for season three, as eager as I was for season two earlier this year! I am blessed to have gotten two seasons in one year, but that probably means I will have to wait until this time next year to get another season. Who knows where I’ll be at that point.

In the past month and a half, I’ve been kind of in a funk. I think that’s why I haven’t written at all. I don’t know why I’ve got such a case of the blues. Christmas was fun, and being home with Aaron has been great, but I just feel kind of chaotic mentally. I’m hoping that January will be calmer and more fun.

That said, I’ve been listening to more podcasts lately, top of the list being “Him and Her: The Skinny Confidential Podcast.” Amy Landino, my success champion, was on a recent episode talking about time batching! I want to make writing more of a priority in the new year, and with that in mind, I’m going to make sure I set aside time each week to prep posts and generate ideas so I can share two posts a week.

Today has felt like an eternity. It’s a jolt of hope knowing that my brain can’t handle a day of doing nothing! I hope that tomorrow morning I wake up all better and go to the gym again. Except… maybe hold off on the weighted squats. Or at least do less of them. Fingers crossed!

And Then It Hit Me: Thoroughly Modern Vintage.

Posted on by maljoylove

Yes! YES! I am on my way.

I’ve been wanting to sit and think about my aesthetic, my brand, what makes me ME. I feel like as an adult I’m still waiting to shed my teenage inner-angst and embrace a more mature aesthetic.

Don’t get it twisted, Disney still owns my heart, and I’ll always want my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches refrigerated because it just tastes better that way, but my tendency to wear all black everything and spend my free time binge-watching Netflix feels very dated. I’m ready to embrace the part of me that wants to come forward and succeed.

When I walked into work today, I had a goal: start work on refining my “aesthetic.” I feel like that’s step one. I think there’s scientific evidence that your environment is your influence. I want to find ways for my aesthetic to help influence my every day life. I want to look at this blog, my closet, my home, and be motivated to take on each day with strength, style, and a smile.

Wait I like that line: Take on the day with strength, style, and a smile. AESTHETIC!

writethatdown
Whether I’m 5 or 25, “Spongebob Squarepants” will always be relevant.

Some things I’ve determined I like are pastels, space, and retro imagery. I feel like my generation is really vibing on pastels right now (neon pinks, greens, and yellows really dominated the fashion zeitgeist from 2007-2015). Soft pinks, aquas, and sunflower yellow seem to be popular colors, and I think the preference of lilac is growing.

I however, am focusing on pink and light blue (my inner emo child just gasped). I went to Pinterest and just searched “Light pink aesthetic.” The jackpot, if you will. I already had an “Aesthetic” Pinterest board created previously, so I just started pinning! I liked a few pink neon signs (which I have always loved), including one on the facade of an old building. I decided to switch gears and go look for “Art deco” aesthetics. I’ve always loved Old Hollywood and roaring 20s aesthetics, like in “The Great Gatsby.” My mind started accelerating, as I thought to myself that the art deco imagery was too dark:

I want to find an art deco design that’s more light, like with pink, maybe. Could Aaron make that? Why can’t *I* make that? I want to combine my love for modern colors with my appreciation for the retro aesthetic… vintage… Thoroughly Modern Vintage! 

I am certain I am not the pioneer for a combination of the modern and the “classic” (I say classic loosely, since the past 100 years can hardly be historically defined as classic. Maybe neo-classic, but I think even that’s a stretch), but I think I can create a concrete vision of what that looks like. My artistic eye is lacking at best, but no reason I can’t try!

The pinning continues.

Back to Reality

Posted on by maljoylove

The clouds of the honeymoon are slowly falling away and making room for the clear skies of cooler weather.

I have just returned from a two-week honeymoon in Europe, where I had the best possible vacation a newlywed could want. Champagne. Pistachio Gelato. Empty streets that open up into crowded plazas. Fresh pasta overlooking the Ionian Sea. Nights lit up by the casinos and luxury hotels of Monaco. It was amazing.

All of that only makes my return back to normalcy all the more humbling. We had a ten hour flight from Amsterdam (we flew there from Venice) to Orlando, during which we experienced constant turbulence and a light that I didn’t know how to turn off for the majority of the time in the air. By the time we landed I was overwhelmed with nausea and a splitting headache. I pride myself on the fact that I kept my cool in the Uber home, and waited until I got upstairs to vomit everything I had consumed during the in-flight meal.

Aaron wasn’t doing much better either. When packing the night before, he stubbed his toe on the wheel of his suitcase, and had been experiencing knee pain the whole trip. On top of that, he was coming down with a cold! Come Monday morning, we were two weak and physically frail young adults who had to throw on the coffee and go back to work.

Aaron had a pleasant comeback to work, providing a high quality report to his supervisors despite knowing he was ill. While my coworkers were all happy to see me (they are truly the best part about my job), I spent the first three days back at work dealing with cranky people making request after request during a time when everything is shutting down for the winter. Things were so quiet when I left for my honeymoon. Why couldn’t it have stayed that way one more week?

My trip really made me reflect on my life where it is now, and where I want it to be. You know how they say the little things make a big difference? That applies in all aspects of life, but it felt doubly so in the hotels we stayed at during the trip:

  • The Majestic Palace was located ten minutes from Las Ramblas in Barcelona. We had a private terrace, a shower with an overhead nozzle, and a bidet. A BIDET. Aaron and I decided to take a power nap before heading out into the city, and it was awakened an hour later by a staff member bringing us a “Congratulations and welcome” slice of cake! Cake!
  • The Londra Palace  was a six minute walk from San Marco Square in Venice. Turndown service! ANOTHER bidet! Top it all off, there was a bathtub with an ADDITIONAL NOZZLE. An IDEAL situation for taking a bath and getting an effective hair wash out of the deal.

Both hotels had baggage handlers, a piano bar, and the most incredible “breakfast is included” experience.

Top it all off with the fact that we were on a cruise in between those hotels, where the majority of the other passengers were all retirees who had the means and the time to just go wherever they want.

The more I paid attention to the little things that prove the extra mile, the the things that make the nice parts even nicer, I kept thinking to myself: my life has got to be like this. Forever.

I’ve learned a lot at this job, from a creative perspective. I’ve increased my endurance for problem solving, and I’m willing to go the extra mile to get something done quicker. When I started, I was scared of talking to people on the phone. Nearly two years later, I do this every day at work, but I don’t like it. Why should I do something I don’t like every day? With the life I want and the bills I still have, now is the time for me to really forge ahead and get a more substantial position within NBC.

It helps that I have a one-on-one meeting with my supervisor in a week, with a year-end self-evaluation due a week after that. I told myself I was going to wait until after the craziness of the wedding and the honeymoon was done. Thank-you notes aside, that time has come. I’m ready to go… all the way up to the top!

Comin’ Home (to Me!)

Posted on by maljoylove

I feel like I have two back-to-back happy entries in my pocket. I guess being married will do that to you.

That’s right folks, I’m a newlywed! Aaron and I tied the knot this past weekend in Vermont. Our magical start to Happily Ever After will get its own post later. I would rather write today about today. Today!

All good todays can be traced back to yesterday, so let’s start there.

I was scrolling through Facebook when I passed through the “Your Own Magic” Facebook group, which is a fan community for the “Your Own Magic” podcast. Someone had posted a request for guidance on making a vision board. Someone had replied to make it their “Home” screen on their phone, so they can always see it.

I had time to kill and I had been itching to make my own vision board, and I had always pictured it as a 3rd grade science project with the three angled-cardboard display covered in colorful words and glitter. Lots of glitter.

scienceproject
These bad boys. Photo cred here.

Putting it on my phone had always felt like a “magnet” option, where I had tossed it around but never considered it. Now that I had a desire to work on my Photoshop skills, I could see about creating one using phone dimensions.

So commenced about two hours of work. I knew what I wanted to see every time I looked at my phone, what I wanted to motivate me through my day. I want Miranda Priestly’s Boss Life (maybe without the workaholism, more like the authority, style, and respect), and Jack Donaghy’s office and job title (he later gives it to Kenneth as “President of Television.” Can that be my exact job title, please?). I want to make sure I always remember that with hard work (and, ahem, therefore maybe less mindless scrolling), I will have money, maybe even Jeffree Star money. With that money, I can travel and live in the NYC home of my dreams (I’m talking in-building gym, laundry service, and outdoor garden, with floor-to-ceiling windows and a showroom-style closet). With that money, I can go to London, Bali, Australia, and anywhere else I want to visit.

On top of fruitful dreams, I want to be healthy and strong, both emotionally and physically. I know if I accomplish all of this, I will be happy. If I’m happy, Aaron will be, too. Vice versa!

Boom. Visions for the future, established.

If I haven’t outright stated it, I love the sky in the morning, when it’s dark night giving way to light blue, with the brightness of the sun bringing in a bit of pink. That was a style inspiration, as was Taylor Swift’s 1989 album art.

Several hours later, my phone vision board:

malloryvisionboard
Aaron says it looks like a Myspace background. If that’s a teasing insult I don’t care because I like it.

Creating that felt like an accomplishment! I rewarded myself with Youtube and went to bed with a smile on my face.

I want to take a different approach to my way of thinking. I’ve always dealt with things with a sense of urgency, and sometimes I feel my brain is moving at a million miles a minute. I think slowing down and taking things one step at a time would do wonders for my own sense of serenity.

This morning, I woke up at 7 AM and contemplated doing some sort of a workout. I ended up going for a twenty minute walk around my neighborhood. I don’t know what higher power decided to make that the best decision ever, but the sky was beautiful and there was a cool wind. I passed commuters starting their day, joggers on the run, and a few happy souls with their dogs on a stroll. I listened to happy music that put me in a good state of mind.

Work was quiet this morning so I took care of a few necessary phone calls, and then made myself a cup of vegan hot chocolate! I served it in one of my UVM mugs, because I’m already having Vermont withdrawals. It was low calorie and super sweet.

veganhotcocoa

I’m thinking I’ll head over to the healthy food cafe for lunch in an hour or two to get an acai bowl or a hummus wrap. It depends on whether it’s cooled down or warmed up since I went outside this morning!

I had a very happy morning. My brain feels at peace. I want to snuggle the world.

I’ll be back for a full wedding recap. Until then, here’s the tune that set my morning mood.