Category: Having it All

Minimalist Wardrobe: The Purge Occurred

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Yesterday, I woke up early and went for a long walk. I came home, took a nice shower, and put on a pair of jeans and a fitted tee shirt. I did my makeup nicely and blew out my hair.

I was ready.

I turned on my “Office Ladies” podcast, and created a mountain of all of my clothes. The purge commenced.

Rather than split items into four or five categories, I kept it simple: “Keep it” or “Donate.” I did set aside a handful of tee shirts that I want to recycle into a quilt! I found multiple companies that do this for you (it seems like a craft that I should outsource. I can fix a basic hem but stitching together a full blanket is too advanced for my skills!). Prices are on a sliding scale, so we’ll see how that goes.

While sorting my clothes, I kept this color palette in my head:

minimalistcolorpalette

As you can see, no bright colors, no neon shades, and (finally) no navy. Navy makes me feel like an old woman. Some girls can rock it, but most navy clothes my size can also be found on cranky moms who are one tantrum away from a breakdown.

I eliminated a lot of clothes that were faded in fashion and color. I kept a few things that would work if I lost a few pounds, but my goal is to pare down further as I slim down more. I even donated a few higher quality items! I’m honestly not sure if any of my items would get me any kind of money at a consignment store, and to be honest, I’d rather someone shopping at Goodwill find my gently used tunics for six dollars than see it gouged out at a Fashion Planet.

A few items I bade farewell to were sentimental: a jersey I got in college as a gift from my Dad, my old college sweatshirt (with a bleach stain), and a pair of comfy pajamas were the ones I held in a hug and said thank you to before putting them in with the rest of the donation items. My “ideal” self can appreciate sentiment, so I took pictures of each one, too!

All in all, my two drawers that could barely hold my pants became two neatly condensed shelves, and I narrowed down my shirts to one drawer! I now have a whole drawer for my sports/at home bras. That’s an ideal situation when all I do is work from home and work out at the gym!

Currently, I have two garbage bags sat at the foot of my staircase to be given to Goodwill. My closet ONLY has clothes that I want to wear. Honestly, I feel pretty darn great!

Get to Know Me: This or That Travel Edition

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If I hadn’t established this enough yet, let me say it plain and outright: I want to travel the world. If I had it my way, I’d have a remote job that let me work on any and every corner of the world, so I could spend six months in Hawaii, three months in Israel, a year in London, five months in Japan… you get it. I want to see it (and live it) all.

That said, it’s easy to say “I want to travel.” Here’s a closer look at my travel preferences and aspirations, a la “This or That”:

  • City or Nature? These days, I’m vibing more on natural locations. I feel like I’d enjoy living in nature long-term and living in the city short-term. That said, I wish I could evenly divide my time between London and Manhattan, so you tell me.
  • AirBnB or Hotel? Hotel. Apparently AirBnBs are ruining the tourism industry in a lot of less wealthy nations. If staying in a resort helps the locals, then I will HUMBLY oblige!
  • Plane or Train? I love flying, but I think I love trains more. You really get to watch the world pass you by as you journey into the unknown. Also I’ve had food poisoning on a plane, twice. Trains are 0 for 2 in that capacity!
  • Art or History? Realistically both, but if I HAD to pick, I’d say art. I think art encompasses history and vice versa, but I think I’d spend more time in the Met than in the Museum of Natural History (note: I should compare my time in the two the next time I get the chance to go to NYC).
  • Adventure or Relax? Mathematically speaking, relax. I’m going to adventure out in a big city, and I’m going to climb a waterfall or go ziplining in places more tranquil. That said, when I relax, I REALLY relax. Park my butt in the sand and have someone bring me a snack, because I’m not going anywhere.
  • Group or Alone? I love solo trips. I’m on no one else’s schedule, I can follow my every impulse, and sometimes I discover some really cool places and have moments just for me. Travelling with my friends and family is special, but I have a soft spot for heading out on my own.
  • Plan It or Wing It? PLAN IT. PLAN IT. PLAN IT. Listen, Linda. Have a day with no agenda. Go out and find something you didn’t think you’d find. But book your lodging, book your flight, tell your boss, and pack up right. Some people don’t plan out where they’re going to stay that night, and I’m so frazzled. What if you don’t find anything? You’re gonna sleep on the street in an unfamiliar place? That’s not being carefree, that’s being irresponsible. You loon.
  • Backpack or Suitcase? Suitcase long term, backpack short term. I’m not backpacking through Europe. I see girls go hike the Appalachian Trail with a massive pack on their shoulders. I did that once when I was twelve. That was enough!
  • Resort or Cruise? CRUISE. You cover more ground when you’re not stuck to the ground! I love a quiet and clean resort but if given the choice between seeing three tropical locations instead of one over the course of the week, and I’ll set sail. And probably listen to the “Titanic” soundtrack while I pack.
  • Sight seeing or Shopping? Sight seeing. That’s not even a question. If I find something a loved one might like, cool beans. I keep souvenirs in the back of my head when I go places, but I value what I see and the photos I take more than a trinket (that said, my mom gets honey in every place she visits. I made sure to buy her honey on the honeymoon. See what I did there?).
  • Party trip or Romantic Trip? By default, I have to go with Romantic. I have only been on one party trip. It was fun, but I had a better time on my honeymoon.
  • Tourist Spots or Hidden Gems? Hidden Gems! I’m a hipster, I want to find the quiet places that people won’t think of firsthand. That said, hidden gems often lie within a few blocks of the main attractions. See the big-ticket sights, then take a walk. You never know what’s out there!

… So, can this quarantine end now? I’m itching to book an adventure!

July Goal-Setting!

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This month, I’m trying something new. I want to set goals for the entire month to help me progress on my personal goals for the entire year. I have six months to get things done, and I want them all done.

I know that some odds are stacked against me: it looks like we’re headed towards another shutdown, which will put going to the gym on hold (which won’t stop my workouts, but will hinder my pull-up goal), and will lead to further job freezing (which will lead to my top priority of getting a new job on hold). I really hope that after all of this, 2021 is a year of prosperity for the world. I hope people go to more restaurants, spend time with their families, and do the dang thing, because life just isn’t that long.

I won’t let the coronavirus (or “Miss ‘Rona” as people who cope with the unending certainty of life with humor have termed it) stop me dead in my tracks. I will keep biking, even if the concrete beneath me turns into hummus.

Here are my six goals for July:

  1. Read all the books I didn’t read last month this month, and four more. I want to do an eight book, “Summer reading” wrap up post at the end of the month.
  2. Stick to my current weight loss plan. I’ve been at it for a few weeks, and I FEEL like it’s working. I want to come back at the end of the month and say “I’ve kept going.” If it’s not as effective at the end of this month, I’ll switch, but I don’t want to switch until then. I often get jaded and quit. Quitters never win, and winners never quit… but those who don’t win and don’t quit are stupid.
  3. Clean out my closet. It will make me happy to finally go through my clothes and see what fits and what doesn’t. It’s going to be a brutal job, but I’ll put together a “capsule wardrobe” of essentials I will keep even if they don’t fit just so I don’t have NOTHING to wear as my progress continues. I’m thinking that will be twelve mix-and-match items. I know I have a drawer of pants that don’t fit anymore, and quite frankly, I think the fact that I can’t shut my drawer is more aggravating than the fact that it’s filled with pants that are too tight.
  4. Call my grandmother twice, call my grandfather once, and email my grandfather once. My communication with them should be so much better than it currently is.
  5. Hold an L-hold on both legs for forty-five seconds (for my handstand resolution), and dead-hang for fifteen seconds (for my pull-up resolution).
  6. Facetime chat with my three “friend groups.” I have a lot of great friends in my life, and for all that Zoom has been having its day with family chats during lockdown, because I’m so used to long-distance friendships, I’ve barely hopped on camera to say hi to my friends! I think this month I can change that.

I’m eager to come back July 31st with these results. I’m committing: Check in post on July 31st on these goals SPECIFICALLY. Go-go-gadget goal setting!

 

Mid-2020: A Resolution Round Up

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We are officially at the halfway point of 2020. When we kicked off the roaring twenties, I didn’t think we’d see a worldwide pandemic, massive wildfires, a watershed moment in the BLM movement, nor as of this past week, a YouTube reckoning culminating in Dramageddon 3. Don’t even get me started on that whole mess.

The things I set out to do seem so meager in the wake of all of this, but I think all I can do is just keep plugging away and doing the next right thing.

I’m going to go over the progress I’ve made this month, and then assess how I want things to change or move forward in the six months to come. I have an idea or two churning in my brain, but there are other things that I need to work through in this space.

Strap on your swimsuits, kids, because we’re gonna dive in now!

1. Read 52 books – I have made it through one and a half books this month. I am unimpressed with myself.

2. Do pull ups – I have made it back to the gym! My gym is open and I can start practicing again… and as predicted, I am back at square one. Drat. I am bummed but will get back to it.

3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING – I feel like I may have made a dent in this! I didn’t bring my phone with me EVERYWHERE this month, and I ended up deleting Twitter from my phone. Just in the past month I feel like it brought me more exhaustion than joy. I still have a ways to go, but I feel so much better this month.

4. Write 104 Blog Posts – Nailed it. Crushed it. Gonna keep crushing it.

5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 2020 – Jan. 2 2021 – Great news! Even if our cruise gets cancelled because of COVID, my mom says she will reallocate that money into a different vacation for us to take as a family somewhere in Florida. We’ll social distance and wear masks and order room service if we need to, but no matter what, Aaron and I will have a great beach week to end the year. And boy golly, we will have earned it.

6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – This was an interesting month for internet schadenfreude. I checked in on one of the influencers I made a point to not monitor this year and I was happy to see she was living mostly quietly and not engaging in self-sabotage. I didn’t re-follow her accounts, but I did check in on her. I don’t know if the aforementioned Dramageddon 3 counts as internet schadenfreude, because I don’t know how much joy I find in the betrayal, anger, jealousy, and potentially criminal behavior. If it counts, I know I will indulge in this as a hopefully full-circle moment. If things ESCALATE, I hope that all the internet gossip (again, I don’t like thinking of criminal behavior as “tea” or “scandalous” when criminals should be in jail) just comes out at once and we can start to rebuild. I genuinely think this past week and the upcoming month will be another watershed moment of sorts, only within the YouTube community. I think some parts of the community will break down entirely and have to start to rebuild.

7. Take better care of my skin – I got a sunburn this weekend. I was a full on lobster. And yet, I feel like my acne scarring isn’t as prominent. Progress!

8. Go stargazing – Our curfew has been lifted as of this month! According to this article, there will be three astronomical events this month. I want to see at least one!

9. Get a new job – I felt super fatigued at work this month. I still have my current job and I don’t know if I’m going to get this one finished this year, no matter how ready I feel to move on to the next big thing. A pandemic isn’t the best time to not have a job, or look for a new one.

10. Do a handstand – Back at the gym means back at the wall! I’ve started to move forward with this resolution. I’ve been doing L-stands at the gym to get my sense of balance and the feeling of my whole weight in my palms and shoulders.

11. Go see two of my favorite performers – On the plus side, Hamilton is streaming, with the original cast, on Friday July 3rd. So at least I will finally get to see it. That said, between performing artists and an apparent Broadway blackout until the end of the year, I will not get this resolution completed. I am disappointed, but not beating myself up about it.

12. Lose weight – Progress is being made. That’s all I’ll say.

13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – As of now, we have plans to go to Disney on Aaron’s birthday! I’ve bought one present for him already, and I know my mom and sister have, too. I told his parents a good gift idea. His parents are coming to town to cook him his birthday dinner. I’m already excited for him.

14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter and granddaughter – I had a good month with my friends this month, save for a facetime chat that all my friends forgot about until three days after our planned chat date. Aaron and I are stronger than ever. I love him so much. I had a great time with my sister and my mother this weekend, and my dad and I caught up over the phone twice this month. I spoke to my grandfather on the phone two weeks ago briefly, but I didn’t speak to my grandmother. On top of that, I found out this past week that because of a spike in cases, I can no longer go to NY to see my grandparents in July. It hurts my heart. I need to talk to them more.

15. Be happy – This month had a lot of highs and lows. I felt very happy some days, and very drained on others. I want to feel less of the latter in the upcoming months.

Here are some thoughts I have about improving my progress on these resolutions:

  • If I don’t love a book two days in, I stop reading it and find something I’ll actually like reading.
  • Call my grandparents twice a month, email my grandfather once.
  • Assuming the world returns to normal, I will see four live shows next year, either standup, concerts, or Broadway/National Tours.
  • Focus on my arm/strength training to build up my ability to pull myself up and hold myself up in a handstand and a pull up.
  • Do the next right thing. I think that’s the 2020 mantra.

Six months down, six months to go!

 

 

 

 

 

I took a break. Here’s why.

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Here’s a quick rundown of what my week looked like:

  • Multiple coworkers tried to take advantage of me (professionally).
  • My favorite social media influencer left her platform.
  • Her departure sparked a string of demands that people of her calibur on the platform should leave, with some of my favorite influencers being among them, for previous behavior (“she shouldn’t leave, THEY should leave) that I didn’t know about until today.
  • People have come forward with accusations of sexual and racially charged misconduct about people in higher positions of power.
  • Governor Cuomo (of New York) declared that Floridians are not welcome to visit the state without two weeks of quarantine after arrival re: COVID-19 case spikes (about 9,000 cases have sprung up in the past week). That eliminates my ability to go see my grandparents and best friend in two weeks.
  • I’ve made some dietary changes that are yielding great physical results, but the slightest inconvenience spikes my mood from 1 to volcano eruption rage.

I am emotionally and mentally fried. I want more from my job and I want more from my life, and

IWantToStartCrying
Everything is Bonzers! “The Good Place.” NBC. 27 September 2018.

 

My mother, sister and I made plans a month ago to take this weekend to go to Costa D’este in Vero Beach. It’s a midpoint between my home and theirs, and we’ve gone once a year for the past three years. It’s beautiful, quiet, and a good place for us to have girl time.

Our initial plan was to check in at four, to have dinner at 5:30. I told my office that I would be taking a half day to get there on time. Two weeks ago, my mother told me that with my sister’s work schedule and her work schedule, they would be arriving closer to six.

With that in mind, I could have worked a full day of work, and taken my last hour of the day as my “lunch hour.” I didn’t. I kept my half day. I needed those extra four hours.

In those four hours, I had a nice lunch with my husband, took a nice long shower, put on makeup, and drove down to Vero listening to a podcast about “The Office.” I arrived an hour before my mom and sister, and took the opportunity to walk the beach by myself.

It was everything I needed. When all else fails, take to the sea.

The weekend nurtured my soul, and seeing my mom and sister made me so happy. Coming back, I’m still feeling a little drained. I don’t think my big problems can be solved by two days of surf and sun. That said, listening to the sound of the waves, laughing with my family, and chocolate chip pancakes are a great bandage on my heart.

2020 has officially unzipped me. I kept a brave face for as long as I could, and I am by no means giving up, but I officially feel fractures in my soul.

I want to use this opportunity to regroup, retool, and rebuild my perspective. I have a lot of work to do on my mind, and finding out how to move forward in the best possible way. I believe life doesn’t throw you anything you can’t handle, so I’m looking forward to the challenge.

I would just like another minute to do that, please.

A Check-In, Before the Check In

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Today, I’d like to take a look at my current ideas, plans, and growth potential, in a way that doesn’t reflect on my New Year’s Resolutions and my typical end-of-month check in. It’s not so much a life-update, but a statement of intention.

With that, let us salute… to General Breakdown.

generalknowledge
Slapsgiving “How I Met Your Mother.” Written by Matt Kuhn. 22 Nov. 2007. CBS.

  1. COVID-19: More and more people are rebelling against the face mask… and more and more people are begging them to not. Most restaurants are operating, as is my gym, and movie theatres are planning on reopening next month across the country. Social distancing is being practiced, and wearing face masks are required in most places. I am hoping that people will be strict on the face mask policy. Spikes in cases are being seen with the reopening of society, but that’s too be expected. We can only hope that it doesn’t expand too much.
  2. Makeup Experiment: I’ve been working on the makeup, sharpening each look to make it look better with practice. I’ve had very positive results with contouring, lip reshaping, and better foundation coverage. Along with that, I tried one of the tutorials for eye makeup earlier this week and it was IMPRESSIVE. I am excited to see the end result!
  3. Fitness Goals: I’ve completed Couch25K, and I’ve continued to do a 5K twice a week. I’d like to bump it up to three. I discovered at the gym that running on a treadmill is so much different than running on the road. I am not good at running on a treadmill! I’d like to change that. On a similar note, I’d like to start reincorporating strength-training into my routine. I’d like to go to the gym to muscle train three to four days a week, at least the three days where I do my 5K runs. On the non-5K days, I want to do bodyweight strength training at home, and then start Couch25K on the treadmill at the gym. I think that will put me in even better shape!
  4. Quarantine Productivity: It’s been mostly non-productive, and here’s a kicker: I’m okay with that. I want to focus all my energy into two or three things, not ten. I do want to learn new languages, and new skills. That said, I set out to hit fifteen thousand steps a day while I’m twenty six (excluding sick days). At my pace, that’s about two and a half hours of stepping! This past week I managed to hit fifteen thousand steps by taking a walk almost every day after work. It was lovely! If I take an hour to enjoy dinner, do some chores and relax with Aaron, along with taking an hour long walk, that gives me about an hour and a half of free time. If I use that half hour to wash my face, that gives me an hour to kick back and enjoy some “me time.” That will really help my mental sanity. Maybe I’ll take another look at those goals if we have to go back into a hardcore lockdown. Never say never!
  5. American History: I just want to take this down for prosperity’s sake. The Black Lives Matter movement has gone full force. There are riots and protests and marches demanding justice and police reform. The police officer who killed George Floyd was charged with murder, but Breyona Taylor’s killers remain at large (one has been fired. For killing a woman. He was fired. Not arrested. Fired). That said, yesterday was June 19th, or “Juneteenth,” a day commemorating the day that slaves in Texas were told of their freedom, by way of the Emancipation Proclamation… two years prior. It’s looking like it might become a federal holiday! I would like to see that happen, in exchange for Columbus Day. Most people on the “left” side of the things are in opposition to our president, Donald Trump, and his handling of the demand for police reform. Many are eager to vote him out in November. The current frontrunner is Joe Biden, who was Barack Obama (our previous president)’s vice president. Joe Biden has a past of both being too handsy with female associates (even one going so far as to accuse him of assault), but was also an instrumental part of sexual and domestic violence reform as a senator. I’m interested to see how the coronavirus impacts the election season this year. I keep seeing a Biden ad when I pull up Youtube videos, and in the ad the subtitles say (I’m paraphrasing), “I am asking you to vote” when Biden clearly says “I am asking you for vote.” A lot of people say Biden is too old to be president, and that ad makes me concerned, too. Like… you didn’t want to get another take of that? That says more about Biden’s team than Biden, though. I want to see Biden’s sexual assault allegations addressed, and I want to see how President Trump evaluates his time as president the past four years, and how he wants the next four to play out with him continuing with a second term as president. We will see.

And that’s what you missed on “Glee!” OH, SHOOT. “GLEE.” Lea Michele, best known for playing Rachel Berry on “Glee,” was outright declared a “diva” and borderline racist. After tweeting out support for the BLM movement, a woman of color who was part of the supporting cast called her out for micro-aggressive behavior and bullying her on set. Two other women of color who co-starred with Lea subtweeted confirmations of witnessing this behavior. Lea apologized for previous actions, but other stories trickled out of occasions where she was unkind, condescending, or rude to other people in her line of work. A few weeks ago I shared how much I loved Rachel Berry’s wardrobe on “Glee,” and I always had a soft spot for Lea Michele. After hearing these stories, I am bummed. I figured that she would have some sort of superiority complex, for being the little girl with the big voice. A rightfully earned ego, like Mariah Carey. Being aware of her talent and expecting excellence at all times was something that would make sense. THIS out-pour of unkindness was not what I had expected. I hope she turns the other cheek!

That’s it for a check-in/life update. I’ll see how things progress!

The Quarter-Life Crisis

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A quick Google search and the top result being a Wikipedia article on the subject will tell you one thing: The Quarter-Life Crisis is REAL. Psychologists say that the phenomenon has increased greatly in the past decade, with millenials facing greater obstacles than the previous generations (with high student debt being the major contributing factor) inhibiting them from proceeding with the standard major milestones of adulthood, like marriage, buying your first home, and starting a family.

I’m turning 26 in less than a week, and thankfully, I’ve tackled one of these. That said, by 36, I’ll be expected to be well within the trenches of my career, in a starter home, and two elementary-school aged kids. I can say that it is “expected” of me, but it’s also what I want for myself.

That said, my birthday has me thinking a lot about the former of those “36-year-old” checkpoints. I want kids, a nice home, and great vacations. That will come with time and financial stability. But how can I get that point of financial stability if I don’t have the career I want?

I have wanted to be president of television for more than half my life (earlier career ideas included secret agent, marine biologist, and president of the United States). In the past week, I’ve been wondering if that’s still what I want. I love NBC, and it’s found ways to touch my heart in ways I can’t explain. But when I think about that job, it’s a fever dream of Miranda Priestly meets Jack Donaghy, and I have a gorgeous office and a gorgeous wardrobe and a high-rise luxury townhome in Midtown or a mansion on the Long Island Sound. I have so many details of what I want my home life to be, but I have no idea of what my career looks like. I’m so focused on the end game that I don’t know what the work to get there will be.

When I’m not thinking about that, I’m thinking about how much I don’t like my current situation. I love my family. I love my husband. I love my cats, my friends, my coworkers. But I want to cry at work sometimes dealing with people. It’s triggered me to the point that I spent my Friday night looking up jobs that involve no phone calls and no B2C work. I would even say B2B work included, because technically I don’t speak to the consumer, I speak to people who speak to the consumer. I’m wondering if I should speak to a career counselor, because I want to find something where I get to work with a team with the same goal, without having to deal with buyers or consumers. I want to create a plan for a project, develop the project, and then let someone else handle the logistics of buying and selling the project.

Does that make me a creative type?

While searching for those “don’t look at me please” career paths on Friday night, I just found myself thinking “What if I got a remote job on the west coast in a city that was cool and I was just super happy all the time?” Cut to me looking at houses in Boulder, CO, where I think about moving to sometimes and going to raw vegan juiceries and skiing in the winter. I miss skiing. I haven’t gone skiing in years.

But again: THAT’S THE LIFE OUTSIDE OF WORK. What about the part that pays for that?

The next night I watched “Lady Bird,” and the eponymous character, while finishing high school in her Sacramento suburb, fantasizes about moving to the East Coast, New York City specifically. At a point in the movie she goes into Manhattan and I just looked at the city around her and every time I’m in New York, every time I see it, I just think “Who wouldn’t want that?”

Okay, I think I just had an epiphany: if all I care about is where I live, then maybe I should really go for a remote job that will permit me to live where I want whenever I want. Aaron and I can spend a few years living in different parts of the US, maybe even parts of Europe, until we find the place we like best.

I feel like that feeds into the millenial procrastination Quarter-life crisis symptom of putting off the future, though. But when I think about it, I have so much of life to live, and so much of the world to see. I want to see it all.

Okay, maybe not war-torn countries where they cut off your hand for looking a man other than your husband in the eye, but still.

I have time to think about it, but I don’t want to just think, or dream, about it. I want to live it.

I’m grateful I have Aaron to talk to about this stuff. It is important. It’s my fifteenth resolution, right? BE HAPPY.

I do think I’m prone to melancholy moments sometimes. In general, I AM happy. I just want more.

If there’s truth to the math of the quarter-life crisis, I don’t want to end my journey through life at 104 with any regrets. I’ll regret not taking chances, just going for it, or doing the right thing when I can. I have this recurring joke in my mind that stems from a throwaway gag from “How I Met Your Mother”, in which I thank “past Mallory” for handling things so “future Mallory” doesn’t have to worry about it.

“Future Mallory” should look at “past Mallory” and say thank you. “Present Mallory” just has to get there.

May Wrap Up: 2020 Resolutions Update

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We’re almost at the halfway point in the year! I want to celebrate all my little victories but at the same time I can’t help but feel like this year, in terms of goal-setting, is no more special than last. That said, I set these goals for a December 2020 end date. Let’s reflect on how we’re doing 5 months into the game:

1. Read 52 books – I have finished two books this month and am listening to an audiobook. I genuinely think that I will get four books in by the end of the month. I said I was going to read Star Wars books for the month of May, and I have, but I think I’m also going to read other Star Wars books later in the year. I really liked them. I’m falling down a Star Wars rabbit hole and honestly, it’s about time.

2. Do pull-ups – Quarantine is making this tougher than it needs to be, but I’m trying harder to work my body out to get this done by the end of the year. I’m emotionally prepared to have to start from square 1 when my gym opens back up and I have access to a pull-up bar.

3. Spend LESS. TIME. SCROLLING. – I actually feel like I made a modicum of progress here! I told myself that I can only scroll when I’m doing my steps, and it’s worked! Along with that, I’ve been staying off the phone while re-watching “Community” with Aaron. I still have a long way to go but I feel like I’ve taken a step towards being better about this.

4. Write 104 blog posts – I think twice this month I’ve thought “… Oh, right! Gotta write!” I’ve maintained my consistency, though. At least I’m staying on top of this here!

5. Romantic trip with Aaron from Dec. 26 – Jan. 2 2021 – As restrictions are slowly lifted, I’m keeping things optimistic about this end of the year trip not falling through from spikes in cases. Fingers crossed!

6. Stop engaging in schadenfreude – I’m still on the right track here. I fell victim to rabbit hole twice this month, but I think it was just for ten minutes at the most both times. Twenty minutes on something that I used to spend hours on is pretty good!

7. Take better care of my skin – Skin is still improving, thankfully! I hope that my shoulders and back continue to heal with my face. I can put foundation on my face, but if I want to wear a bathing suit, it gets really awkward when I have acne on my back and chest. I feel like this has improved in the past few months too!

8. Go stargazing – There’s still a nighttime curfew in lockdown, but we’re heading into June! It’s warm and if we get anti-bug candles, it could be a dang nice night.

9. Get a new job – I have nothing new to report here, and I’m really hoping that changes soon.

10. Do a handstand – I didn’t work on this at all this month. It’s still on my list. I haven’t given up and I won’t.

11. Go see two of my favorite performers – So fun fact, an email was sent out two weeks ago saying that all dates before Labor Day Weekend have been refunded. I would say this is the only resolution that might not come true, based on my scheduling, that I can blame on quarantine and not my own failures. They say life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans, and whomever they are, they’re not wrong! I hope I can reschedule for November or December, but if not, I think next year is going to be a great year.

12. Lose weight – Physical progress? Not so much. Mental progress? Very much so. See you next month.

13. Give Aaron a great 26th birthday – Well well well! The Disney parks will be opened by his birthday. Wheels are back in motion! I’m thinking dinner at his favorite restaurant and a new lightsaber at Hollywood Studios. Yay!

14. Be a better friend, wife, sister, daughter, and granddaughter – I think May has been my best month for this. I had a great Skype call with my best friend where we talked about life and how much we mean to each other. I’ve been supportive for my friends going through big transitions and crazy circumstances in light of what’s happening in the world, and sending funny TikToks along the way! Aaron and I have really grown so much as a couple since quarantine started. I think we fall more in love and feel more happy every day. As far as family goes, I went home for Mother’s Day for an extended weekend and spent a whole night gabbing with my brother and sister, and even went jogging with my mom. My dad and I talked on the phone earlier last week, and I spoke to both of my grandparents on the phone this month. It was my grandmother’s birthday this month, so I sent flowers, helped my mom make her a birthday playlist, and sent a photo album (that I made myself!) of wedding photos and she loved it. I should keep this up next month! I love the people in my life!

15. Be happy –  I am so lucky. I feel so loved and so grateful for what I have. I am still doing my best, and working to accomplish my goals. I wish I could bring the peace I feel in my heart sometimes and give it to other people. The world is scary and I’m so thankful for the security blanket I have.

Okay, June. Birthday month? Bring it!!

There and Back Again: A reflection on a visit home

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On Thursday afternoon, I packed up my things and drove the two and a half hours down to my mom’s house to surprise her as a belated Mother’s Day gift. To be honest, her reaction and hug to me walking in the kitchen alone was worth the trip! I’ve spent the past three days at home with my family. I had to work Friday, but I got to speak with my siblings during lulls and my mom came home not long after my work day finished. It was just nice to be with all of them knowing we couldn’t really go anywhere, as things in my hometown are still shut down almost entirely until tomorrow (just as I leave!).

While I was home, I realized a few things by being around my family.

  1. I’m funny. The power went out while I was home, and my sister demanded entertainment for the four hours (give or take) that we had no electricity. We played Cards Against Humanity, and I won! We played “Would You Rather” and “Who Would You Rather” (tee hee), and at a certain point I started blaring dance music and prancing around without a care in the world. My sister laughed so hard, to the point that she said my “moves” made the power outage worth it. My mom also said I made her laugh while we played “Clue”. I tend to get dramatic when I accuse people of being the murderer.
    ethelbeavers
    Image from Pinterest. The Trial of Leslie Knope.“Parks and Recreation.” 1 December 2011. NBC.
  2. I miss cooking. When I’m at home during the week, I love to bake, but Aaron is the one who cooks almost all of our meals! In my mom’s house, my siblings and mom take turns making dinner, but my sister is struggling to find things she likes to make. She’s very picky and not a great cook! She’s hoping to change that, and she and my mom were really excited that I had recipes and cooking ideas to offer. Talking about it made me wish I cooked more! I told Aaron that when I come home, I want to make more of our meals. He suggested cooking our meals together. I feel so happy he wants to share the “joy” of cooking with me!

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  3. I want to work out more. I’ve been keeping an ambitious step goal and enjoying Couch25K, but I want to work on my strength more again. My mom kept talking about how impressive my brother’s body looks after spending time doing laps in the pool daily, and my sister is a petite double negative. I want to be fit, dangit! I’ve honestly started thinking that I might want to try getting fit enough to do a bikini competition. I’ve gone down a Youtube rabbit hole of a fitness influencer I like, and a few years ago she did a few of them (and won at least once!). It’s not a test of how hot you look in a bikini, it’s based on muscle. I don’t really like the idea of getting super spray tanned, and it’s definitely something I have to research more, but I think it’d be kind of cool to be in a fitness competition this time next year! Can you imagine?

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I had such a great time with my mom, brother and sister. I’m going to do a girls’ weekend in a month with my mom and sister, when things will have become a bit more sanitized! Family time is everything to me. I’m so lucky to have the family I have!

Lockdown Life: Staying Alive

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It’s been over a month since quarantine began, and people have started to protest and demand that life return to normal. I feel so terrible for the people who have lost their jobs since this started. What’s wild is that the protesters I’ve seen have been demanding people return to work so they can get their hair done, go to restaurants, and socialize again. I don’t see anyone protesting to say they miss their jobs and their paychecks. It feels very privileged. I feel like people don’t realize that people are dying from this thing.

Speaking of privileged, my life hasn’t changed much since the outbreak. As a result, as much as I miss the normalities of being with friends and going to Disney, I’m in a chill bubble and content to sit and wait this out until it’s safe to visit my grandma again. A lot of people are in the same situation for me but are not taking this experience… well.

Rather than talk about my favorite things this month, I want to dedicate this post to the things that are keeping me sane during this quarantine. I am keeping my cool and feeling happy thanks to the following things:

1. Deleted scenes of “The Office.” If it weren’t obvious, my favorite television show of all time is “The Office.” It ended seven years ago (wow), but it’s probably the most watched television series on Netflix. I have probably seen it a hundred times by now, and yes, hundreds seems like a small number, but if I’ve watched the show almost every day for ten years… excuse me, it’s time for me to do math.

Okay, if I’ve watched the show 350 days out of the year, for an hour a day, for ten years, I have watched 3,500 hours of “The Office.” Yikes. But not yikes, because it makes me happy!

As a result, I still love it, but I know the episodes practically by heart. In the past month, particularly in the past week, I’ve found compilations of deleted scenes from the show. It’s like watching the show for the first time all over again! It just brings a smile on my face.

2. Baking. It’s not exactly helping my goal to be healthy, but I’ve been taking the whole “studies say baking relieves stress” theory to heart. I’ve made incredible chocolate chip cookies, dulce de leche cookies, and today, I made fried Oreos! I have plans to make “slutty” brownies (I hate that name. Why did we call them that? You could bring these to your bake sale and then your step-grandparent is all “Wow, these are great! What do you call these?” What do you say to that) this Friday, and when they run out I am making M&M cookies. I feel inspired.

3. “Crazy Ex Girlfriend.” Did I start watching this only three days ago? Yes. Do I want to forsake all other forms of entertainment until I finish it? Yes. This show has everything: musical numbers, Jewish moms, that one Disney prince who CANNOT BE TRUSTED. It’s truly remarkable and funny and I love it and I don’t wanna go to sleep until I finish this season. Unless it ends with a cliffhanger. Gosh I hope it doesn’t end with a cliffhanger.

4. “Couch to 5K.” I am “fittish,” which means I work out a lot and would probably be unstoppable if I cared enough to change my diet to match my healthy tastes. I like to walk the treadmill and get cardio from the elliptical and this “gazelle” machine that’s like a stairmaster/elliptical hybrid. What do those things have in common? They’re cardio machines. I don’t have access to such equipment. To get in my cardio, I started jogging with “Couch to 5K.” It’s about thirty minutes, three times a week, of fresh air and exercise. I get to listen to music and think about everything and nothing. I gotta be honest, it feels great!

5. Writing. Between journaling and “escapril,” I feel so creatively channeled into my mind. I’m being honest without being dark. It’s refreshing!

I feel very lucky to be in a situation where I still have my job (which has been busy as of late), my health, and almost 8 years’ worth of long-distance friendshipping. As the Nutella topping, I have Aaron. Getting to have lunch with him and give him hugs throughout the day makes everything even better. I am feeling so grateful to have him through all of this. I have great people in my life. Them, plus these distractions, are making my life livable.

I hope that people respect the current quarantine limitations. I want everyone to return to their normal, but the more we don’t take the rules seriously, the more exposed we will be to COVID-19, and then we will be in lockdown for months. WAY more months than need be. I hope people find better ways to pass the time than yelling at the doctors treating the patients. Or at least, some self-esteem. The most photographed protesters are people with ugly hair (objectively ugly, like too long or natural roots). Hair isn’t everything. Stay safe, love yourself, and please, stay inside.

Because if anyone messes with my “Hamilton” tickets or my end-of-year cruise I will be forced to riot.