It’s not laziness, nor procrastination… but it’s something. Perhaps it’s “burnout brain.”
When I think about how I spend my time, I feel like I’m so busy. It’s not necessarily with friends or social gatherings, but I always feel like I have some task that I’m doing, or there’s something I’m working on, any given evening. However, when I try to think about what I’ve done that week to get to that “having it all” peak, I come up empty.
Seriously! I cannot remember, for the life of me, what I did with my time this week. To clarify, I know I spent a lot of time writing one night, but other than that, my brain blurs. It’s not just for this past week, either. I don’t know what I’ve done with my time for the past three weeks! Where is my short-term memory? Or my long-term memory?
I don’t think it’s impossible to say that with my many goals, my brain isn’t keeping track of my day-to-day. It’s preserving power and energy to get through those tasks! However, considering I remember watching a TV show (“Euphoria”!) and taking a bath, I feel like it’s also not impossible to say that my brain power loses battery quicker, in trying to keep up with those things.
Hence, “burnout brain.”
THE JO BENNETT BELIEF
In the latter half of “The Office,” the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Co. gets bought out by a printer distributor named Sabre. Sabre is lead by CEO Jo Bennett, played by a delightfully Southern Kathy Bates.
I will search and find powerful women everywhere in pop culture. Jo Bennett? Kind of a badass:
I’m a breast cancer survivor, close, personal friends with Nancy Pelosi, and Truman Capote and I slept with three of the same guys. When I was a little girl, I was terrified to fly, and now I have my own pilot’s license. I am CEO of Sabre International, and I sell the best damn printers and all-in-one machines Korea can make. Pleased to meet you.
She’s tough, hard-working, and appreciates good work ethic. In “St. Patrick’s Day,” Michael wants to let his employees leave early to celebrate the holiday. Jo politely and indirectly tells him to rethink the move: “If you can put your name on this day, and be proud of the amount of work you’ve done, then, by all means, you should toodle on home.“
I think about that line a lot. How many days can I honestly say “I’m proud of the work I did! This day has my productive seal of approval”? Certainly, I work hard at my job, I wake up early for a workout most mornings, and I make time for friends and family. However, I don’t know how many days I can say that I’ve worked hard on a goal, and therefore had a good day.
This isn’t to say that days off aren’t necessary. Certainly, I plan around them often! However, if I can’t remember the last time I worked on one of my goals, something isn’t clicking. I can’t remember what I did, which makes me think I didn’t do anything at all!
Perhaps the best idea is to go into each day KNOWING what goal to work on (and how I’m going to work on it)! That would be more effective than letting myself improv after dinner, when I’m too tired to want to do much else than scroll and watch Youtube.
Now, the execution! Burnout brain, I’m coming for ya!