Weight loss is a frequently mentioned beast on this blog, and this post in particular. If this topic (or any related topic) is a triggering one, please instead watch this silly video of a seal playing a saxaphone and remember things will get better.
Remember how I said that my biggest priorities were learning a new language and writing? I was just in a silly, goofy mood. Certainly, those goals sit at the top of my list! However, getting my body down to a healthier weight is the real goal for 2022. As one probably can tell, things in that department have not been going well.
While preparing for a visit up north, where things will be cold, I found myself trying on winter clothes. It was a real case of “this sweater makes me look fat… but also, I can’t blame the sweater.” I look like I’m bursting out of a lot of my clothes these days! Seeing as how presentation is becoming more of a priority to me these days, having clothes that don’t fit right bums me out. To clarify, there’s a distinction between looking fat in clothes vs. wearing clothes in a bigger body. It’s all about the ‘fit!
I’m not big on waiting until I’ve seen significant weight loss to buy clothes that look good on me. After last week’s reflection, I’ve decided to buy a few items to tide me over, so I can still look presentable when I DO leave my house. But alas, that is putting a painting over a hole in the wall. And truthfully, I’d rather just patch the hole in the wall!
So, What Comes Next?
I have established two accountability boosters to keep me in check with weight loss. One is my smiley face calendar, and the other is a meal plan. Essentially, I’ve picked a smoothie recipe and a pasta recipe that has numbers I don’t have to estimate. Weight loss happens through Calories In, Calories Out. If I know I’m eating the same two meals at xxx calories each day, with SOME flexibility for lunch, I don’t have to worry about my intake. It’s only on those days where I want to have a sweet treat where things go wrong. Much like many others who struggle with their weight, if I have one sweet treat, I think “Okay, well, today is ruined, might as well go all out,” and then that day turns into a week… a month… two months.
So, how to curb this problem? I’m going to do something revolutionary: listen to my body’s hunger cues. Often times, when I’m eating to excess, I’m not even hungry. Heck, even when I’m eating a normal meal, I find myself thinking “this is an automatic mental setting, to eat. But I’m not even hungry.” At the same time, I’ve often wondered how much I’d eat if I actually listened to my body when it said “I don’t feel hungry.” Maybe weight loss would happen even quicker if I actually paid attention to my body’s hunger cues (or lack thereof)!
The Long and Short of it All
Now, where does all of this fit within the context of my goals? Firstly, I feel less hungry when I’ve had substantial sleep. I’ve made it plain before that my sleep schedule is not great in general. I shoot for eight, and usually end up with six somehow. Truthfully, I should be shooting for nine and ending up with seven! As such, I should be wrapping up my day earlier and subsequently going to bed earlier. In addition, I should be moving more. I love my morning walks. However, if I want to really step things up, I should be doing a walk during the daytime and once more in the evening.
Unfortunately, if I go on an hour long walk after work, that leaves me only about an hour each evening to write or work on another goal. That’s not as much time as I’d like, but I can make it work. In an ideal world, I wake up at 5:30, get dressed and do yoga before going for a walk/run/bike ride at 6 AM. After I return, I rinse off and read or write until I start my workday. That means that technically, I can have two hours of productivity in the day, just not back-to-back!
The Embarrassing Lack of Weight Loss
I won’t pretend that having the same problem, writing the same thing, multiple times a year, isn’t humiliating. Yes, a lot of people struggle with it, but I find such sadness in my failures. I don’t fail because I’m destined to be a bigger size, but because I give up and get lazy relatively quickly. More often than not, I let myself off the hook for cheat meals or snacks, and then don’t hold myself accountable for a long time. It’s a cycle. I’ve started watching this one weight loss channel on Youtube, and the woman behind the channel has similar patterns. The patterns are so similar that someone actually made a chart of her weight loss cycles. It’s like looking in a mirror sometimes!
However, I don’t believe I’m beyond saving. I do not think I’m hopeless. I think I get tired and lazy and my ideal self is neither of those things. It’s time to do this, for real. For real.